An Award with a difference

 It was an award function not organised by any industry body or a voluntary organization to recognize me.  It was my good friend of 48 years, R.T Chari and Ramu Endowments, a trust he had started in his father`s name years ago.  A Philanthropist whose contribution to Carnatic Music and South India Heritage is phenomenal, Chari has been recognizing and presenting Awards to many achievers over the last several years covering writers, authors, musicians, Heritage champions, artists and many more.

This New Year started with my receiving an award for the `Inspiring Writer of Nana Nani` on 2nd January. Now, I have this award from Chari, which recognizes me as an `Inspiring Senior Citizen for dynamism after retirement`. I accept it with all humility because it comes with Chari`s deep affection for me.

For me, Chari is a role model. He helped me discover the joy of giving and making people happy. I have also found that if people around you are happy, you are happy. Today, I have a policy of making at least one person happy every day.  With little acts, gestures, or using my limited resources. Also because my Bank of Goodwill is always overflowing,  I can help anyone needing any kind of help by connecting them with someone who can provide that help. 80% of the time it works making that person happy! There is nothing like the joy of giving.

I am also happy that  Mrs. Sivasankari, for whom I have great respect and regard, was the chief guest at the function.  Apart from being a celebrity writer,  she is also a great advocate of the need for senior citizens to lead an active life. She has been practicing what she preaches. I consider her also as a Role Model among Senior Citizens. I felt honoured to receive the award from her.

I was also happy to see many well-wishers in the packed audience at Tag Centre where the event was held on Sunday 23^rd February,2025 preceded by a sumptuous breakfast and followed by an interesting video programme on `Kishore Kumar` presented by another good friend S.R.Madhu and put together by  T S . Gopal. It was 70 minutes of excerpts from Kishore Kumar`s famous songs which brought back memories of the olden /golden days of film music to the audience, mostly consisting of senior citizens.

I was particularly happy that three of my friends from Nana Nani were present in the audience.

Thank you, Chari, for the Award and for giving me an opportunity to meet many old friends. Pray God to bestow good health on you so that you continue to make people happy!

Wasting food is criminal

In Hindu mythology, Anna Lakshmi, one of the eight (Ashta) Laxmis,  is often depicted as the "Goddess Lakshmi of Food/Grains" symbolizing the provider of nourishment and prosperity. I remember my mother invoking the name of Anna Laxmi whenever, as little kids, we refused to eat or waste food.  Growing up in a lower middle class family in the chawls of Bombay there was always a shortage of food at home. Very often, after providing for her husband- a foodie and her four kids, my mother would be left with insufficient food.  So children wasting food was unacceptable. This message has been ingrained in me so much that I feel very bad when I see anyone wasting food. My mother would also insist on concentrating our attention on what we eat lest we displease Anna Laxmi. She would certainly not approve of the habit of many these days, who keep browsing messages on WhatsApp while having their food. Why am I talking about this now?

 

In Nana Nani, at the dining hall, I see many residents wasting food served on their plates (banana leaf). Not only do they not clear what is served in the first round but also insist on getting additional servings that they don`t touch, leaving behind food that could satisfy the needs of a poor, hungry person.

 

I have a cousin who after a hearty meal at any function would ensure that the banana leaf from which he had his meal is squeaky clean, leaving no trace of any items he has consumed. Though I don`t do this I ensure that only the right quantity that  I can consume is served on my plate. If it is an item that I don`t like, I would not allow it to be served to me. In many marriages or other functions where the number of items served is beyond the capacity of any ordinary human being, I am extra careful. The amount of food wasted on such occasions is mind-boggling. I prefer partaking in food from the buffet counter at a function, if that option is available because I can choose the items I like and take just the quantity that  I can consume.

 

I remember a well-known educationist who served only a tasty biryani with a side dish and a dessert for dinner at the wedding reception of his daughter.

 

Can something be done about the wastage of food? A community in North India bans members of that community from serving more than a certain number of items at weddings and other festive occasions. Those who break the rules are punished. I am told that in Germany, guests who order more than what they need in restaurants and waste food are penalized. More than any law, what will work is self-discipline.

 

I believe wasting food at home or on social occasions is criminal!

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Pros and Cons of my stay at Nana Nani

Ten months have flown by and it is time for me to renew the 11 months  Lease  Agreement with the owner of the apartment where I am staying now at Nana Nani- Phase 4, in  Coimbatore.

Though I have been sharing my experiences in Nana Nani from time to time, I would  like to sum up the observations- both positive and negative before I tell you about my decision

On the positive side

The weather in Coimbatore is very pleasant for ten months in a year, unlike Chennai, where it is hot and humid for ten months. Having lived close to the Sea ( Elliots Beach) in Chennai for 50 years, I am now able to have a lovely view of the Marudha Malai, part of the Western Ghats, every morning from the balcony attached to my bedroom. I love mountains more than the seas!

The infrastructure at Nana Nani is top class with all the facilities that senior citizens need available inside the campus. The ambience is beautiful and the entire property is maintained well giving you the feeling of living in a Resort. I am able to lead a very active life without going out, except for attending specific functions, visiting temples or for specialist medical consultations.

Phase 4 where I am staying is a vibrant community. Residents are friendly and helpful. With a good mixture of seniors and super seniors, the atmosphere is generally cheerful.  I have made some good friends here who ensure that I never feel lonely. It is like a big, happy family here.

I find more time to write and my articles are well appreciated by the residents here. The icing on the cake- I was conferred the `Inspiring Writer Award` at the Awards Nite held on 2^nd January as a part of the New Year Celebrations held here. As I was away in Chennai I was not there to collect the Award.

As for entertainment, there is enough to keep you engaged every other evening. The management arranges to show a Tamil,  Malayalam or  Hindi film every Saturday evening at the air-conditioned theatre located in the Club House. I have seen 30  films in 11 months as opposed to an average of two films in a year in Chennai. Many talented residents provide entertainment in the form of music and dance programmes, and plays besides other activities like quizzes, tombola, spiritual lectures, etc.  At least 10 to 12 programmes are conducted by the residents every month, many of them very professionally done.  Nanogenarian, Hariharan (94), popularly known as Hari Om Mama,  organizes music and dance festivals and spiritual sessions from time to time- all at his own cost.  An inspirational person much admired by everyone here. He is one of my role models!

The big Mahalaxmi temple, located adjacent to the entrance gate is a popular venue for many religious and spiritual activities. Though  I am not spiritually inclined I like the uplifting feeling I  get whenever  I visit the temple and occasionally meditate there.

The emergency medical service here works fairly efficiently. I am satisfied with the instant response I got on a couple of occasions when I needed help. I am also satisfied with the maintenance service. Just a telephone call and your problem is attended to.

On the negative side:

Though I enjoy my morning walks here, there are no post-walk group meetings like in Chennai. That happens only before or after each meal session outside the dining hall. I  miss the fun time I used to have with friends after my morning walks at Bessy in Chennai which would charge my battery for the day!

The escalating costs are a major issue here. Especially the Rs 400/-per day for all meals that the management charges are higher than any other Senior Citizen Homes in Coimbatore. Unlike the `pay for what you eat` system in other Homes, the condition that you have to pay for all meals even if you have a cup of coffee but do not want to partake in other meals,  is unfair.  However, the management allows you to opt out of taking your meals in the dining hall every day by giving advance notice about your meal breaks.  Whether  you take the meals or not, every resident has to pay a small fixed kitchen fee every month.

While most of the dishes served during meals are tasty, the choice of menu, unimaginative combination of items, and monotony of eating the same type of food, have begun to make me feel tired of the meals served here.  Many residents cook their meals or get food from outside caterers. For the last two months, I have also started using this facility when I find the menu not interesting, as we get the menu two days in advance. I cook items that I like, which are not part of the menu here. I find cooking therapeutic!

Having seen and experienced a few other Senior Citizen facilities in Coimbatore and Chennai, I can say with confidence that Nana Nani has by far one of the best infrastructure and services suited for senior citizens in Coimbatore.

Since the positive side far outweighs the negative side I have decided to continue my stay in Nana Nani, Phase 4.  Besides, I keep visiting Chennai often. Two months of a relaxed, carefree life in Coimbatore and two weeks of hectic activity in Chennai;  meeting old friends, attending important functions, and spending some time with my little grandchildren. Having the best of both worlds!  What more can I want in life?

I  pray to god to bestow good health on me so that I continue to enjoy this life.

PS: After some anxious moments regarding the extension of the lease agreement, I am happy to say that the owner of the apartment where I stay has agreed to extend the lease for two years – 11 months at a time. Om Sairam!

 

Charukesi- A sixth Anniversary tribute

On this day six years ago - 30th January 2019 -my good friend Charukesi, the veteran bilingual writer/author passed away after fighting a losing battle with cancer. He opened up a whole new world of literature to me. Encouraged me in my writing efforts. Translated my autobiography in Tamil. In many ways, he became an integral part of my literary life in the last decade of his life. I miss him a lot. I presented an A/V that I produced tracing his life story at a memorial meeting organised by Tamizh Puthaga Nanbargal ( Tamil Readers Forum) of which he was one of the four pillars. I had less than seven days to produce this video, which was made possible with help from Charukesi`s family.

 

Tamizh Puthaka Nanbargal  promoted writers and novels at its monthly meetings. At the meeting, an avid reader reviewed a book of a living author in detail in the author’s presence. It was followed by a question and answer session between the author and the audience. Charukesi was responsible for selecting a worthy novel, identifying a suitable reviewer, and drafting the invitation  . The other three pillars were R.T Chari who conceived the idea and sponsored the meeting,  Ravi Tamilvanan the MC who conducted the meeting in his inimitable style, and yours truly in charge of the overall coordination including mailing the invitations and follow-up.

 

For every meeting, I would give him a lift in my car to and from Tag Centre, the venue of the meetings. I would also offer this facility to anyone else who wanted this service provoking Charukesi to say in jest that `Rajan`s CAR SEVA` is now available. I continue to offer this service in Nana Nani where I am staying now

 

After Charukesi`s demise Kizhambur, the editor of Kalaimagal became the fourth pillar. Thanks to TPN not only I got close to CharukesI but also got to know several award-winning Tamil writers. During the pandemic, TPN was dissolved, never to be revived again.

 

I am sharing the A/V once again as my tribute to a great human being on his sixth death anniversary.

https://youtu.be/BxSScsbroTU 

 

Scams Galore- Don`t be one of the victims

 The excitement of getting a brand new mobile in a lucky draw on purchasing a new SIM card turned to sadness after a software engineer lost Rs.2.5 crores. Our media is full of such scams every day. Most of the affected people are educated and many of them are well-to-do. Despite getting enough tips about how to avoid falling into the traps of scamsters who are using mobile phones as their weapons, why are such scams happening? That made me think.

One of the important reasons is man`s greed for getting something free or getting much more than what he deserves. The news item mentioned in the first part of this article is an example of such cases. Remember the time when fraudulent NBFCs used to cheat the common people by offering crazy returns on their investments? Greedy people continued to patronize such Ponzi schemes despite negative news about such schemes.

The second reason is fear syndrome. Most of the scamsters have done their homework and mostly attack people with enough money in their bank accounts. When the scamsters accuse a person of some crime they have or have not committed and threaten dire consequences if their demand is not met- the fear of facing public humiliation makes people succumb to the threats. Maybe many of these affected are having something to hide. Out of fear, instead of reporting the matter to the cyber cell, they respond to the caller and find themselves wiped of life savings. The number of such calls all of us receive every day is mind-boggling.

Though I don`t have a huge bank balance, I am very cautious about such calls. Apart from the warning I get about spam calls from Airtel, I also don't respond to calls that are not in my contact list, unless I am expecting a call from a service provider I am familiar with. I also don't respond to calls starting with 804. I am sure they are spam calls. Even by mistake if I respond, I disconnect the call the moment I realize that it is from a scamster. All of us have received detailed instructions about spam calls through WA. Let us try to strictly follow them and save ourselves the tragedy of being taken for a ride by the scamsters who seem to be relentless in pursuing gullible people.

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Death Cleaning

  I came to know about `Death Cleaning` through a Forward I read in a WA group. The contents appealed to me as an Octogenarian. Since I believe I am on the last lap of my life journey and my 42-year-old independent home in Chennai is going for redevelopment, the idea assumed a sense of urgency. I learned that death cleaning is a method of decluttering your home before you die to lessen the burden on your loved ones after you have passed. So that they don't curse you after you depart from the world for making them go through all the junk you have accumulated over the years.

During my recent trip to Chennai, I decided to extend my stay for a month so that I could get rid of things that have lost their use or relevance and also donate useful items to deserving people or institutions, which otherwise would go under the bulldozer when the old building is being demolished.

I had already started the process by giving away my dresses, clothes, electronic waste, etc. to an NGO collecting such items during a campaign they held a few months ago. I have also identified an institution to which I propose donating my huge book collection.

During the current clean up I found leather-bound appointment diaries, old bank statements, statements of accounts, old income tax returns, used cheque books, etc. covering a period of 50 years. Shocking but true. I discovered many press cuttings carefully filed in folders, not only covering my original articles on my profession but also many which I thought would be useful to me at a later date. I had also retained hundreds of magazines in which my articles had appeared. Getting rid of these and many other unnecessary files and folders was the easiest decision. While most of them went to the raddhiwala, many sensitive documents were burnt.

Going through the old photo albums covering 82 years of my life was a pleasure, It helped me go down memory lane and remember the things I did with family and friends. I have always found going down memory lane therapeutic and a great stress buster. Something which I experienced when I was writing my autobiography. Fortunately, I did not have to take any action on this item as my children wanted to go through them before they were junked.

Clearing the loft in the kitchen area I discovered scores of old brass & steel utensils that were used by my mother when she was active in the kitchen. Two big ceramic Jars in which my mother used to store pickles prepared by her stood out in the collection. My elder daughter promptly claimed them as she saw their potential use in her terrace garden. Once a decision is made about what utensils to be retained by the family, the rest would go to the Kabadiwala who has promised to give cash based on the weight of the different types of utensils.

I think I have managed to identify and get rid of items that I had collected over the years. I am leaving the decision to deal with the rest of the items like furniture, fixtures, gifts, mementos,curios collected during my several foreign trips and other paraphernalia in the house to the family.

Through this process, I am hoping that I will get less or no curses from my near and dear ones after I pass away.

A 12th Anniversary Tribute

Time flies. It has already been 12 years since my life partner left me to join the Lord in heaven. This is a small tribute from me on her 12^th Anniversary.

Prabha was a fast learner, who overcame several of her initial inhibitions to become a wonderful partner, good daughter-in-law, lovely mother, doting grandmother, and above all a great homemaker! In the last two decades of her life, she acquired an identity of her own as a writer and as a socially active person. She walked tall in our social circles! I was certainly proud of her achievements.

She called our memorable trip to Kashmir in April, 2012,  a `childhood dream come true`. Unfortunately within six weeks of our return from that dream holiday her world came crashing down. We discovered that she was being consumed by the dreaded crab disease, and metastasis had already set in. Exactly seven months after the diagnosis of the disease she was gone on 5^th January,2013. She was only 61. My `Kashmir ki Kali` left me after being my life partner for 40 years.

Instead of mourning Prabha`s death, I have been celebrating her memory for the last twelve years. I am involved with many activities to identify and bring to limelight talented women writers in Tamil under the auspices of  Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation. In the process, not only am I keeping myself active, but also trying to spread happiness around,  Hope that keeps my dear Prabha`s soul happy!