`WE CARE` service

 In any Senior Citizen home, there are good Samaritans who are ever willing to help anyone who needs help. I want to share my recent experience in the Home where I live now.

I have been suffering pain in the Hip/Thigh joints during my morning walks for the last several years. I manage by taking short rest breaks and walking for 30 minutes. Since my return from Chennai more than a month ago, I find that this pain keeps recurring even during the daytime at home. I decided to consult a good orthopedic surgeon to ensure that I was not suffering from any silent bone injury during my recent accident in Chennai.  My good friend Bala in the community fixed the appointment with a well-known Orthopedist, who has a clinic located close by. Since my daughter, based in Coimbatore, was out of station, I accepted Bala`s offer to accompany me to the Clinic. He stayed with me for more than two hours until the examination was over and the doctor informed me of his diagnosis and suggested treatment. I was happy to hear that my bones were intact and that I was only suffering from stiff muscles, common among senior citizens. Since we were late for the scheduled lunch hours at the dining hall, Bala took me to his apartment in the complex, and his wife served me a delicious home-cooked meal. It was a wonderful gesture by Bala and his wife. I also found that Bala extends such help to a few other Super seniors in the community.

In the case of residents whose mobility is restricted and those who need assistance to get jobs done outside the campus or who are feeling lonely and don't have any near and dear ones in Coimbatore, there is a `WE CARE`- an informal group of volunteers in Phase 4 of Nana Nani.. It consists of able-bodied residents who offer their services to those who require some help. The resident has to post his or her problem in the WA family group of Phase 4, Someone in the group responds immediately and helps in solving the problem. In cases of emergencies where a resident has to be admitted to a hospital, such volunteers, if necessary, also act as caregivers until a family member comes and takes charge. Though this informal support system is not very active now,  able-bodied senior citizens like Bala continue to offer help as a service to needy seniors in the community.

 

In addition to the reliable medical facilities available on the campus, this kind of help from volunteers boosts the confidence level of those residents who are staying alone, like me, or old couples with mobility problems in the community. This is one more reason why senior citizens with children living abroad or in other cities in India could consider living in such homes, because there is better security and possibilities of getting an immediate response to problems faced by them. This could also be one of the reasons why there are many residents with their children staying in Coimbatore, living in the community.

 

 

My tryst with Shirdi Sai Baba

 My wife Prabha and I had visited Shirdi Sai Baba`s temple in 2002 as a part of our visit to many temples in India. At that time I was not an ardent devotee of Sai Baba. My favourite deities have been Balaji and Ganesha over the years. Baba has entered my life only in the last four years. My interest in Baba was kindled by a series of articles on Baba`s miracles I had read in Ananda Vikatan, a popular Tamil weekly, a few years ago. Suddenly I started seeing Baba`s images every where and his name being talked about by many people. One day when I was having a conversation with my family in my drawing room on Baba, my grandson who was two years old then pointed out at the small marble statue of Baba sitting on the corner display table along with other figures. I felt that Baba was giving me a message and promptly shifted the idol to my Pooja Room. I decided to visit Shirdi with a friend and had made all travel arrangements. We were to leave for Shirdi on 24th March,2020. But the announcement of Lockdown starting from 26th March made us cancel our trip. I was disappointed.

I decided to visit the popular Sai Baba temple in Mylapore on a Thursday before the Lockdown came into effect. It was around 5.30pm. There was a long queue and the temple was heavily crowded I was not confident of standing in the queue for long. While trying to get a darshan of the deity from the outside gate, a thought stuck me. I went to the Security and asked him if there is any special paid darshan of Baba. He promptly directed me to a table in a corner where a volunteer was giving senior citizens tokens to get a quick darshan of Baba. I rushed and found that I was receiving the last token for the day after which the counter was closed. I was allowed to enter the sanctum sanctorum through a side entrance and have a glorious darshan within five minutes. I could even touch the feet of Baba with my head. Obviously Baba had chosen me for his special attention. I came out delighted and fully charged with new energy. What happened next only reinforced my growing interest in Baba.

For the first three weeks of the lockdown I was staying with my elder daughter trying to complete my novel which I had started writing. I learnt that my daughter was already a great devotee of Baba. I found the English version of the original biography of Baba in her Puja Room. I decided to read a couple of chapters every day and completed reading the book during my stay. I was by now totally hooked to Baba. So subsequently whenever the lockdown was relaxed I started visiting Baba temple in Tiruvanmiyur which is close to my home in Sastri Nagar, every Thursday.

I learnt from a reliable source that Sivasankari, the well known Tamil writer was an ardent devotee of Baba. Thanks to my involvement with Tamizh Puthaga Nanbargal, a Tamil book readers` forum, I got to know her well. I decided to visit her during one of the relaxation periods. It was she who told me that Baba decides to enter people`s lives as and when he wants to bestow his grace on them. She herself had become a devotee of Baba only 15 years earlier when she was in her mid sixties. Baba had entered my life in my mid seventies. Sivasankari was kind enough to present me with two books on Baba which she had translated from English to Tamil.

One of them was the abridged version of Baba`s biography. I took to reading this biography once a month as a part of my parayanam ( ritual reading) . I feel indescribable peace settle on me every time I finish reading it.

I must share an unforgettable experience I had recently. It happened a few weeks ago. After visiting the Shirdi Sai Baba temple in Tiruvanmiyur, my son who was driving my car and I were cruising along on a side road connecting to L.B.Road. Suddenly we realized that a Car from the opposite direction was coming towards our car. To avoid a head on collision my son started veering the car to the left. Before we could blink- `Bang`- the opposite car hit the rear door behind the driver, got deflected and stopped after hitting two men on their two wheelers running in front of him. In a dazed condition when I came out of the car I realized that my son and I had narrowly escaped a major head on collision which could have been, if not fatal, would have necessitated hospitalization with serious injuries. Fortunately both of us escaped without even a scratch. However our car was badly damaged. I thanked Sai Baba, whose darshan we had just a few minutes earlier, for saving us from a catastrophe. The very thought of the accident, even after several weeks, sends shivers down my spine!

My vow to visit Baba`s temple in Shiridi became a reality on 29th March,2022, exactly two years after the original plan which got thwarted because of the pandemic. I had a wonderful VIP darshan of Baba on 29th evening and 30th morning. Needless to say it was an enriching experience.

Om Sai Ram!

(An edited version of this article has appeared in the latest issue ( June,2022) of Dignity Dialogue)

s

Importance of feedback for creative people

 I was walking towards the neighbourhood shop. As I was passing by the Mahalakshmi temple near the entrance gate in our community,  a young lady stopped me and asked me,” Are you Mr.Rajan, the writer of articles I read in the N & N WA groups?”. When I confirmed that her guess was right, she told me that her parents, who are no more, used to live in Phase 4 and that she was visiting to meet some people. Since she continues to be on the contact list of N & N groups as the owner of the apartment where her parents lived, she sees all communication sent through  WA.  She told me she thoroughly enjoyed reading my stories and recognized me from a photograph she saw in one of my postings. My day was made!"

I used to have similar experiences during my morning walks at Elliots Beach Road in Chennai, when my fortnightly column, `Rajan`s Random Reflections,` was published for five years in Adyar Times before the pandemic.

This is not to boast of my greatness as a writer. But to emphasize the point that for any creative person, feedback is very crucial. It motivates them to continue their creative journey. Whether he /she is a writer, singer, dancer, or in any other creative activity, getting an unsolicited positive response in any form makes the person happy. Unlike in the past, social media allows people to share their creative efforts instantly with large groups and the response is also instantaneous.

I started my writing career only after retirement. The success of my autobiography `Courage My Companion` published in 2009 and encouraged by my mentor, Mr. S. Muthiah of Madras Musings fame,  I started writing on a variety of topics. Posted them on my blog, which my daughter created for me,  shared them with my friends on Facebook and WhatsApp, and mailed them to selected contacts through email. While I write on a variety of topics, I also enjoy writing interview-based human interest stories of inspiring personalities. Many of my articles have been published by both local and national media.

After posting them, I eagerly wait for responses from my readers like any writer does. More than the `likes` or `emojis` I get, which are important, it is the comments that I value most. Some readers respond to every post I send. Though many read they don`t respond every time. I get thrilled when once in a while I see a response from a friend who normally does not respond. Some beg to differ with my views or have some more input on the topic of my posting. As a person who has been in the creative business- 45 years in the advertising business and as a writer /author for the last 16 years, I can take both bouquets and brickbats. Though criticism hurts, I believe in using it to improve my writing.  It is important for creative people to accept constructive criticism. 

So friends, it will be great to see your responses to my articles once in a while, which will keep me going as a writer.

 

Using ventilators - a doctor`s advice

 I came across a very interesting post on the practical aspects of using ventilator support. The article is by Dr.J Bhaskaran, my good friend, a well-known doctor in Chennai,  known for his pragmatic approach in treating his patients. His original posting in Tamil had a case study described in detail at the end of which the Doctor gives practical tips to the family members. I am reproducing below my understanding of the doctor`s message for the benefit of my readers

 

Ventilator support involves providing oxygen support to the Lungs making it function artificially. This enables the oxygen to be sent to all parts of the body through blood circulation. It is a form of life-saving device. For those diseases where normal breathing is likely to return, it is important to administer this procedure for such patients. Because the ventilators are performing the role of the lungs, the patient will continue to breathe and will become alright in due course. The ventilator support can be withdrawn in a few weeks in such cases. It is called the `Acute crisis`. This must be done in cases involving patients who still have an active life ahead.

 

However, in the case of super seniors who are past  80 and whose active life is behind them, it is important for doctors to advise the family of such patients about the pros and cons of the use of ventilators before deciding to administer the procedure.

 

There is another procedure called  `tracheostomy`. It is a surgical procedure creating an opening (stoma) in the trachea (windpipe) in the neck to allow for breathing through a tube. This procedure is often necessary when someone cannot breathe normally, usually due to a blockage or other airway issue. Even for this procedure, permission must be sought from the family by the doctors. Since the family wants to keep their dear one alive, they leave it to the doctor to decide. Invariably resulting in the prolonged stay of the patient in the ICU, with mounting hospital bills, adding tremendous stress to the caring family members without any idea about when the ordeal would end.

In cases where a senior citizen has a stroke resulting in oozing of blood in the brain, or any other terminally ill situations, and chances of such patients recovering to lead a normal life is very remote it is advisable to provide `Conservative management` instead of making the patient suffer the ordeal of ventilator support. It would be better for the family to take the patient home and treat them with prescribed medicines with full-time attendants, if necessary. The family should not hesitate to make this decision to allow their dear ones to exit from this world peacefully.

 

To enable the family to decide without feeling guilty, all senior citizens should prepare a living will, which allows the family  to make the right decision when it becomes necessary. As I have done. I have registered a living will, notarized by a notary public, in which I have made it clear to my children that they should not agree to put me under a ventilator or any other life support system. I have also indicated that they should not agree to an open heart surgery or even dialysis. If my time has come, they should allow me to exit this world with dignity.

 

It is time that seniors and their families understand the importance of a living will.

 

The pleasure of having grandchildren

 Grandparenthood is the greatest promotion one can get in life. There cannot be a bigger gift than getting a grandson or a granddaughter. I had the privilege of becoming a grandfather at 54 when my grandson Arul was born. I remember the day vividly. I was busy in the office in discussion with my Secretary, when I got a call informing me of the arrival of a baby boy - my first grandchild through my eldest daughter Kavitha & RU. I jumped with joy shouting `I have become a Thatha!` Arul arrived in this world seven weeks before my silver wedding anniversary. I had a grand function planned at the Savera Hotel. The invitation went in the name of Arul which carried a line at the end `No gifts please. My grandparents say I am the best gift they got for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.`

Since that day 29 years ago I have been blessed with five more grandchildren. Three grandsons and three granddaughters. Arul ( 29), Uthara(24), Nila(23), Keshav(22), and the two late arrivals – my resident grandchildren - 7 years old Thavam and 4 years old baby doll Bakthi. The lovely kids of my son are keeping me entertained and spreading joy around whenever I visit Chennai from Coimbatore.  However, I must confess that at 82,  I don't have the energy that I had 23 years ago to indulge them physically.

I am also no good at telling stories to my grandchildren as I find my memory has become rusty that I don`t remember all the details of our mythological classics like Ramayana or Mahabharata. When I attempt to narrate some stories from one of these epics, my grandson Thavam interrupts and says “You are wrong thatha… this is what happened…” and he goes on to complete the correct story which he has heard from his maternal grandmother, making me feel embarrassed. Some days I attempt to take the easy way out by reading stories from books. I find even that effort difficult as I feel exhausted by the time I read a story for 10 to 15 minutes. These days I have found another method to keep them engaged, We have a family group called `T & B` group in which I keep forwarding videos that will appeal to the kids. Whenever I am in Chennai and have time to spend time with the kids I show the videos to the kids. They keep watching them until they get bored and run away.

It was always good fun when all my children and grandchildren used to visit my home for a family get-together. But these days with the senior grandchildren away from their homes, pursuing careers of their choice it has become difficult to have such get-togethers. The last time we had such a get-together was on my 80^th Birthday. Even at that function one grandson was missing.

I am proud to say that the four senior grandkids, all talented in fields of their choice,  have grown into mature kids with their heads on their shoulders- I am sure the latest arrivals also will follow suit judging by the way my son Balaji and daughter in law Tulse are bringing them up. Please join me in blessing all my grandchildren with a bright future.

 

Yoga flash cards- an interesting gift idea!

I recently received a set of `Yoga flash cards` packed in a well-designed handy-size carton which can be used at home and is extremely convenient to carry around.  Perfect for travel. These thoughtfully designed cards, featuring 20 yoga poses in each pack,  offer guidance and motivation for practicing yoga, great for all levels. The front of each card guides you in practicing one asana and on the rear of the card you get the benefits of that particular asana and some more information on how to get enhanced benefits with that asana. The set also includes a fun interactive game.

Designed by my niece, Shwetha Srinivasan, a certified yoga instructor who has collaborated with Meghna Vaidynathan, a professional graphic designer to create these beautifully designed cards.

Shwetha says, “I started my yoga journey more than 10 years ago when I  first moved to Banglore after marriage. I joined a class nearby and loved practicing yoga and the positive impact it had on me. The same yoga studio later announced its teacher training program, and I jumped at the opportunity. When I completed the program, the studio offered me a position to teach. That's how my journey as a yoga instructor began”

Shwetha met Meghana more than 8 years back. She was a graphic designer working for a company in Chennai and Shwetha was a part-time yoga instructor at a studio in Chennai. When Shwetha came up with the idea for the flashcards, Meghna readily agreed.  The flashcards are a result of their combined efforts in the last year.

The cards make a unique and thoughtful gift. Gift your loved ones a pack today!  They are also great as return gifts for birthdays, baby showers, and more.

Priced at just 450/-  they are available with Shwetha: 9840318385

A traumatic experience

 After an embarrassing experience I had a few days ago, I would like to share with you a traumatic experience I had recently. Since I was planning to drive to Coimbatore in my car driven by a call driver on 11^th March, to save time I decided to go to the petrol bunk to fill the tank the  evening before. The attender noticed that the left rear wheel tire was low on air. As I had checked the tire pressures only two days earlier, I decided to go to the nearby puncture mechanic to find out If there was any problem with that tire.

 I parked the car opposite the shop, got out, and after ensuring that there was no vehicle in sight, started crossing the narrow road towards the shop. Out of nowhere, a cycle driven by a teenager came at breakneck speed knocking me down, with the cycle falling on me and the boy thrown out a couple of feet away. I was shocked beyond words. I was invoking the names of my favourite gods and trying to understand what was happening to me. A crowd gathered, the traffic stopped, and the boy was admonished for rash driving. Some good Samaritans helped me get up and stand on my wobbling feet. Another guy picked up my spectacles and mobile found on the road. Someone got me a glass of water and another asked me to check if I felt ok with my hands and legs. I was slowly escorted to the shop where I was made to sit on a chair in the shop. After ensuring that I was alright the crowd melted away and the traffic resumed.

Since I was dazed and in no condition to drive my car home, I called my son-in-law whose house was nearby, and sought his help. He arrived soon and took charge of the situation. He decided to not only check the defective tire but also the Stepney tire, since I was  going on a long trip the next day.  The mechanic found one puncture in the tire fitted on the vehicle and three punctures in the Stepney tire. After doing the necessary repairs and paying the mechanic for his timely service, my son-in-law drove me back to my home.

Despite the nasty accident, thanks to the Divine Grace, I had no collateral damage, not even a scratch on my body. Even my worry about having some hairline fracture was dispelled the next morning when I got up and found that there were no swellings anywhere. I decided to take the trip accompanied by my younger daughter in my car driven by the call driver.

As I always do, I started thinking about the positive side of this incident. But for my son-in-law`s help in ensuring that all the problems with tires were addressed, I could have faced serious problems on the road with a defective stepney, in case one of the other tires developed problems. Everything happens for the good as my old friend told me after a nasty accident we had in Bombay 60 years ago. Om Sairam!