A Home for the golden years ( DD-Aug, 2026)

 My first exposure to an old age home was 20 years ago, when my mother-in-law was admitted to a modest home run by a distant relative located in an independent home in a busy residential colony in the suburbs of Chennai. It was close​ to a popular temple and other facilities that senior citizens require. It also provided home-cooked meals. My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last six years of her life in that old age home, when there were negative connotations about old age homes. Her NRI son, for his own reasons,  ​​decided to keep her in the Home despite my offer to look after her in my home. Just to make her feel we still cared about her, I would bring her home every month for a week's stay. One day, she told my driver, “I don’t know why my son-in-law brings me here every month. I am getting bored here. I am very happy in my  Home with a lot of new friends to talk to. Here I spend the whole day only watching TV or listening to music. Everybody is so busy. That is the first time I realised the importance of a​ senior citizen home in the life of elders and their need to be with like-minded friends in their old age.

Has anything changed with Senior Citizen Homes over the years? Yes, a lot.  ​​Modern-day homes located in gated communities have all the basic facilities that senior citizens need and much more for those who can afford the price.

 During my visit to Coimbatore in 2022, to get an idea of life in senior citizen homes, I visited a few friends staying in popular Senior Citizens Homes to get feedback on their experiences in the gated communities where they were staying. This was for an article I was writing for an online magazine.​ I found all of them very happy. I did not know then that within two years of writing that article, I would myself move into Nana Nani in Coimbatore.

 I have been staying in Nana Nani for more than two years, leading an independent and happy life without responsibilities.​Based on my own experience living in a Senior Citizen Home and my understanding of how many other senior citizen homes function, I would like to make the following observations and suggestions for the benefit of those who are planning to move into a Senior Citizen Home.

 - Judging by the good times that many of the residents are having in many senior citizen homes, I would say it is an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful lives, have no family responsibilities and who are financially independent, to spend their twilight years in peace and contentment

 - It is no longer a stigma on the children if their parents voluntarily choose to stay in senior citizen homes which provide them the necessary independence, comfort and the company of new friends with similar backgrounds.

 -Once they have decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home, they should visit a few Homes and stay in their guest houses for a few days to get a feel of the place. They also must talk to some residents to find out what they think of the facilities on offer and their satisfaction level before they make up their mind.

 -Many new Senior Citizen Homes offer five-star facilities which may not be used by ​everyone, and such Homes are very expensive. It is important to choose a facility which satisfies one`s basic needs and is available at a reasonable cost.

 -It might be a good idea to retain one's own home for some time and sell it only when one is fully satisfied with the Home being considered.. Most of the Homes keep increasing their maintenance charges and meal charges from time to time because of escalating costs. Residents must be prepared to face this contingency.

 -Food becomes a major issue in the Senior Citizen Homes. One has to be mentally prepared to adjust one's tastes to the menu on offer. Coimbatore, the most popular city for SCHs, where most of them offer only vegetarian meals and that too the South Indian variety. One's choice of food & the city where one wants to settle down can also be determining factors in selecting the Home.

 -Better to go for the facilities offered by well-known groups. They have the resources and commitment to run the facilities efficiently because their reputation is at stake. Homes started by individuals or private parties are generally not reliable.

 -It is very important to ensure that the Home has reliable in-house medical facilities and is in a position to handle any medical emergencies. This is one of the main reasons that elders staying alone,  with their children living abroad, shift to Senior Citizen Homes. Many Homes promise this facility but lack the necessary infrastructure to provide the service. Also check if such homes can help you get full-time or part-time attenders in case of necessity. Such facilities normally come at an extra cost.

  -Senior Citizen Homes with attached hospices or with facilities to take complete care of bedridden patients can be considered by working couples who have old and infirm parents who need constant help and attention. Atulya Senior Care, which has branches in several cities, specialises in this kind of service.

 - If you have children living in other cities, go for a two-bedroom facility so that there is a place for them to stay whenever they visit you.

 -If one wants to enjoy one's stay in Senior Citizen Homes,  it is important to be friendly with other residents. Remember that more than one's own children, it is the friends who make one's life interesting in old age. Besides, if one is friendly with the able-bodied residents in the facility, they become one's support group and caregivers in case of emergencies until the family members come and take over.

 I would like to conclude this article quoting the words of a resident in another popular  Senior Citizen Home in Coimbatore.

 ”The two essential needs of every individual apart from roti, kapda and makhan are freedom and friendship. Both these crucial requirements for healthy and happy living are assured in the life of elders in Senior Citizen Homes”

 

 

A PLATINUM BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE TO PRABHA

My late wife Prabha would have turned 75 today  (27th July,`26). A Platinum Birthday! Prabha's passion for gardening as a hobby is legendary in our family circles. I always used to tease her that her first love was gardening – everything else was secondary.  As a tribute to her memory, I would like to share an article I wrote about her passion for gardening​ some time ago.

.Excerpts from the original article:

Over the last several years that we have been living in our own house, Prabha managed to grow hundreds of flowering plants and other green plants. We have over six varieties of jasmine (Malli): Nithya Malli, Pavala Malli, Mullai,​Jadhi Malli, Adukku Malli, & ​Gundu Malli, and over forty varieties of crotons and scores of colourful Hibiscus, Exora and Arali plants; flowering plants with no fragrance.

We even have fruit-bearing trees – Sapota (chikku), Guava, lemon-sized Japanese oranges (called Kungfat) besides a coconut tree, banana tree, mango tree and even a drumstick tree!

In the absence of a regular gardener, ​Prabha tends to each plant herself. Every morning she would go around the compound checking, trimming, weeding, cleaning and generally looking after the plants. Spending nearly 60  minutes on this particular activity.

Whenever we were travelling, she constantly worried whether the maid had watered the plants or not. Almost akin to how pet owners worry about their pet dogs or cats when they are away on tour.

As soon as we returned from any tour, the first thing she would do is to go round inspecting the plants as if saying “Hey Guys, I am back to look after you!” There is a perceptible difference in the appearance of the plants as well; those drooping suddenly seem to perk up! I wonder if there is any truth in the belief that plants can also communicate with their patrons.

In the morning she would pluck flowers for Puja, and in the evening she would be busy collecting Nithya malli (jasmine) flowers growing on our terrace. Come rain or sunshine, she spends about 60 minutes every day plucking these fragrant flowers (nature's aphrodisiac) and spends another 30 minutes tying them on a string to make a nice ‘maala’ for her hair or for use in the Puja room the next day.

Like all women who are crazy about gardening, when we visited friends and if she found a garden around the host's house, she would go on an inspection tour of the garden before she even said ‘hello’ to the host! But when she tried to pluck saplings from plants in public gardens, where plucking of flowers and saplings was prohibited, I would feel embarrassed.

A week before she passed away, on her request, I took her around her favourite plants in the compound.  She was in a wheelchair. Suddenly, she looked up and asked, “If I die, who will look after all my children?”I was confused. Why was she asking me this question when our children were all married, and we had four grandchildren? She clarified, ​"I am talking about all these plants which I have looked after for the last thirty years like my own children​" I was moved to tears. I assured her that I would look after them as long as I am alive.

PS:

Sorry, Prabha. I was looking after your plants with help from Mythili ( my brother's wife) until both of us moved out of our houses to make way for the redevelopment of our homes. Soon, not only your plants but the whole house would be going under the bulldozer.

My daughter is now the President of a Rotary Club

I went to Chennai on 8^th July for a week, primarily to witness the installation of my elder daughter, Kavitha Srinivas, as the President of the Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight, an all-women's club, on 10^th July. The function was held at S Convention Centre in T.Nagar

At 6.30pm sharp, the meeting started with the mandatory Tamil Thai Vazhthu, followed by the National Anthem. The surprise of the evening was R.U. Srinivas, Kavitha's husband, singing the invocation song in Tamil, in his melodious voice that set the tone for the action-filled evening that followed. After the formalities of the outgoing President, Dharanija Ramakrishnan, presenting the report of the activities of the Club during her year and the recognition of the team that made it possible, it was time for my daughter to take over the mantle from her.  It was a proud moment for me, belonging to a family of Rotarians, to see my daughter, who was the Annette of the Rotary Club of Madras South, of which both my younger brother Seshadri and I are Past Presidents, take over as the President of another vibrant club.  After a brief but eloquent introduction of Kavitha by her talented daughter Nila, supported by her son Arul on the graphics, it was over to Kavitha.  In her acceptance speech, Kavitha outlined the four major projects she planned to undertake during her year as the President and made a very passionate appeal for funds. The chief guest of the evening, Rtn. DGE Dr​ Vijayabharathi Rangarajan  was spontaneous in committing Rs I lakh towards the club's projects next year. Apart from the family and friends of Kavitha, including her brother-in-law who had come from Bangalore specially to attend the function, there was a good turnout of Co-Presidents of other clubs and District officials. It was an evening full of “warmth, vibrant energy, laughter, friendship and a sense of purpose”.

Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight is a dynamic Club with many talented members who get involved in many activities of the club. I am sure Kavitha, a hardworking, committed, people's person, will take the club to greater heights with the support of her wonderful team. Wishing you all the best, Kavitha. God Bless!

 

A DIAMOND BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

 My elder son-in-law, Ranganathan Uppili Srinivas, popularly known as `RU` among friends and `Cheenu` among the family, is turning 60 today, 25thJuly,`26. While welcoming him to the world of senior citizens, nay, Seenagers, my mind travels back in time to when he became a part of my family. He is the only son in his family after four sisters. After completing his CA in India, he went to do his MBA at Oklahoma State University in Boston, USA. He worked in Boston for a couple of years before he returned to India to look after his old parents.

In 1994, I was looking for an alliance for my elder daughter Kavitha, who had turned 21. After getting a gold medal in Fine Arts from Madras University, she was working in my advertising agency as an artist. I came to know about RU through a friend. After all the formalities were over, the wedding took place in `Santha Sundara Mahal` on LB Road in Adyar, where the Eros Cinema was located. It turned out to be a grand society wedding with a large gathering of friends and relatives from both sides attending the wedding. I remember many guests commenting that RU and Kavitha looked like a `Made for Each Other` couple, which they continue to be. Immediately after becoming my son-in-law, RU asked me if he should address me as `Mama' or ' Appa '. He was more comfortable calling me `Appa`. Much to the annoyance of my late wife, my relationship with RU has been more like a friend than a father-in-law.

RU, very intelligent, articulate, caring and tech-savvy, is a people person with a huge network of connections, spread across the country. He is always keen to learn new things and puts his heart and soul into whatever he takes up. Like his entrepreneurial effort in starting `Idli factory`, making ready-to-eat oblong-shaped Idlis coated with gunpowder ( Idli podi), sold in a carton with six Idlis, with tissue paper. It was indeed a very innovative idea as a travel companion.

A man with a golden voice, popular as a singer in social get-togethers, he decided a few years ago to learn Carnatic music while simultaneously honing his skills as a `Karaoke` singer. An early riser, I have found him practising singing (`Sadhakam) every morning, sitting next to the window in his drawing room. He would take a break to give me a hot cup of filter coffee as soon as I came out of my room after my morning ablutions, whenever I was staying at his house.

RU is a typical Corporate Honcho who loves partying. A great conversationalist, he is a person who loves to argue. Sometimes, I feel that he does it for the sake of arguing, but all the same, he is delightful company. He has done well in life and is a much-respected professional in his field, and is very popular among friends.

I am also happy that he has given full freedom to my talented daughter Kavitha to indulge in her passions and supports her in every way. They blessed me with Arul, my first grandchild and later Nila, both very intelligent and talented, like their parents. Both kids are very mature and have their heads on their shoulders, and are doing well. God bless them

On this day when he celebrates his landmark birthday, I pray god to bestow good health and happiness on RU and help him realise all his unfulfilled dreams in life

 

TWO IMPORTANT EVENTS IN ONE EVENING

 I went to Chennai on 8^th July for a week, primarily to witness the installation of my elder daughter, Kavitha Srinivas, as the President of the Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight, an all-women's club, on 10^th July. The function was held at S Convention Centre in T.Nagar and was scheduled to start at 6.30 pm.

 Just a couple of days before leaving for Chennai, I received an invitation to attend the Prize distribution function for the winners of the mega short-story competition in Tamil, conducted by Raya Chellappa in memory of his late mother Swarnambal. There were 325 entries and 35 prize winners. I got one of the ten second prizes of Rs 2000/-. The venue was Anna Centenary Library, and the function was to start at 5.00 pm. I was in a dilemma: whether to stay until I ​received the prize from the hands of Tiruppur Krishnan, the chief guest, or leave at 6.00 pm to be in time for my daughter’s function. I chose the second option and missed receiving a prize in a short story competition I had participated in for the first time in my life.

 When Chellappa knew that I might not be staying back, he decided to honour me with a Ponnadai (Shawl) for my association with the Tamil literary world through Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation. The meticulously planned event also witnessed the release of a book containing all 35 prize-winning stories by the chief guest. Though I collected the certificate about the Prize later, I ​managed to get the two copies of the book which were given to all prize winners​ before leaving the venue. Chellappa had ensured that all the prize winners had received their cash prizes through G Pay on the morning of the event. Kudos to Chellappa and all his family members who ensured that the programme was conducted in a grand manner befitting the occasion.

At 6.00 pm, I rushed to my daughter's function. Within a few minutes of reaching the Convention Centre, the meeting started with the mandatory Tamil Thai Vazhthu, followed by the National anthem. The surprise of the evening was R.U. Srinivas, Kavitha's husband, singing the invocation song in Tamil, in his melodious voice that set the tone for the action-filled evening that followed. After the formalities of the outgoing President, Dharanija Ramakrishnan, presenting the report of the activities of the Club during her year as the President and the recognition of the team that made it possible, it was time for my daughter to take over the mantle from her.  It was a proud moment for me, belonging to a family of Rotarians, to see my daughter, who was the Annette of the Rotary Club of Madras South, of which both my younger brother Seshadri and I are Past Presidents, take over as the President of another vibrant club.  After a brief but eloquent introduction of Kavitha by her talented daughter Nila, supported by her son Arul on the graphics, it was over to Kavitha.  In her acceptance speech, Kavitha outlined the four major projects she planned to undertake during her year as the President and made a very passionate appeal for funds. The chief guest of the evening, Rtn. DGE Dr​ Vijayabharathi Rangarajan, during her speech, was spontaneous in committing Rs I lakh towards the club's projects next year. Apart from the family and friends of Kavitha, including her brother-in-law who had come from Bangalore specially to attend the function, there was a good turnout of Co-Presidents of other clubs and District officials. It was an evening full of “warmth, vibrant energy, laughter, friendship and a sense of purpose”.

Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight is a dynamic Club with many talented members who get involved in many activities of the club. I am sure Kavitha, a hardworking, committed, people's person, will take the club to greater heights with the support of her wonderful team. Wishing you all the best, Kavitha. God Bless!

 

Reinvention at 70

My reinvention story started after I retired from my job in 2007, as the CMD of Anugrah Madison, a company I founded in 1986, at the age of 44. Inspired by hundreds of biographies I have read (and still read), I decided to pursue a lifelong dream of writing my autobiography, immediately after retirement. It was a candid story of a boy from a lower middle-class family, from the chawls of Bombay, who rose to make a name in the world of advertising as a specialist in Rural Marketing/communication. Interesting story of a city boy becoming a rural specialist! An uncommon story of a common man. 

The success of my autobiography titled ` Courage My Companion` published in 2009, made me take up writing seriously. Encouraged by Mr S.Muthiah, a veteran journalist and my mentor, I started writing on various topics. I uploaded them to my blog and also shared them with my contacts through social media. Many of my articles were also published in both local and national media. The positive feedback I got for my style of writing encouraged me to try different genres of writing. I am happy to say that in the last 16 years, since the publication of my autobiography, I have published 13 books covering eight genres of writing. It includes, besides my autobiography, a book on Rural Marketing, three books containing collections of my essays published in the media, a short story collection, a novella, History of an Association, a biography of a well-known Rotarian etc. Today, writing is one of the important activities, besides reading, which keeps me busy.

 Though I retired as the CMD of my company at the age of 65, I continued for the next five years as the Chairman Emeritus of the company, attending the office for half a day. This allowed me to use my Secretary in connection with a few professional and voluntary organisations I was involved with. She also helped me in my presentations on Rural marketing to the students of management institutes across the country. At 70, I finally decided to cut my umbilical cord with a profession with which I was associated for 45 long years. Simultaneously, I also decided to resign from all statutory responsibilities connected with all the other organisations I was involved with. I also stopped teaching. I did this to ensure that I lead a stress-free life, post retirement. Sports, Music, and watching films on OTT or TV do not interest me. Though I believe in total surrender to God, I am not spiritually oriented. So I concentrate on my writing, reading, and also cooking -another passion which I enjoy. I experiment with new recipes, which I share with friends and family. 

2013 marked an important turning point in my life because of two incidents: I lost my wife, Prabha, in January, and I had a heart attack necessitating angiography with one stent placed in my heart in December. It was April ,2012 ,that we had a memorable trip to Kashmir. Prabha called it a `childhood dream come true`. Unfortunately, within six weeks of our return from that dream holiday, her world came crashing down. We discovered that she was being consumed by the dreaded crab disease, and metastasis had already set in. Exactly seven months after the diagnosis of the disease she was gone on 5th January,2013. She was only 61. My `Kashmir ki Kali` left me after being my life partner for 40 years.

 Though her end was expected, as it was terminal cancer, I was shattered. However, I decided to stay alone in my part of the home instead of merging with my son's family. I tried to maintain it as well as she would have liked me to, as Prabha was a house proud woman. I had promised to look after the garden that she had created around my home. I did it with the help of a gardener. I always felt that she was around the house and keeping an eye on me. Many friends who came to offer condolences assured me that time is a great healer and I would forget and learn to live without Prabha. But I decided not to forget her. Instead of mourning her death, I decided to celebrate her memory by starting the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation ( PRTF) in 2013. Prabha, encouraged by me, had become an accomplished story writer in Tamil, late in life. Through PRTF, I started helping budding women writers come to the limelight. I have been doing this by sponsoring writing competitions in association with some well-known Tamil magazines, besides helping some of them publish their first books. These activities also keep me busy in my old age. While coping with the loss of my wife I got very busy completing my book on Rural Marketing and getting ready for its release in October,2013. The hectic schedule preceding and following the event and the tension associated with it resulted in my getting a heart attack. While recovering from the setback, staying alone in the house, I started missing Prabha- the minute-to-minute care that only a life partner can give and which you can demand from her. It was a wake-up call, making me realise the importance of looking after my health. 

I decided to completely change my lifestyle, to ensure that I face my twilight years with good health. I stopped imbibing the cup that cheers and the deadly snacks that go with that habit. I ensured that my dietary habits also changed to suit my new lifestyle. I have a good breakfast, a moderate lunch and a frugal dinner before 7.00 pm. I go to bed by 9.00 pm and get up by 4.30 am. In addition to my morning walks, which I have been doing for the last 50 years, I also started doing some physical exercises at home, which included Pranayama and Meditation. I have never been physically adventurous, but I am willing to challenge myself with new projects which involve my brain. My general health parameters are ok, though I do suffer from shifting muscular pains and other age-related health issues. I have learnt to live with them. In 2024, 

I made another major decision with a long-term vision. I decided to shift to Nana Nani, a well-run senior citizen home in Coimbatore, to lead an independent life without responsibilities, despite having everything going for me at my home in Chennai. I had my son staying with me, and my siblings staying in the same housing complex. My elder daughter was just 10 minutes away by car. I did this to ensure that I am not a burden on my children on a day-to-day basis. Another reason was that my 40-year-old independent home was beginning to show many cracks and was becoming a security risk. I wanted to clear the way for my son to take up the redevelopment of the house. I chose Coimbatore to move because of its pleasant weather 10 months in a year as against the scorching heat of Chennai for 9 months in a year. Besides, Nana Nani offers many facilities. It has a vibrant community. Apart from the instant medical facilities, it also has many in-house activities to keep me busy, without having to go out. I have become popular as a writer in the community, with the residents eagerly looking forward to my reviews of programmes held in the community. I have helped many writers and other talented people in the community to come to the limelight through my interview-based articles, published in some magazines and shared on social media. I was thrilled when, within 12 months of my stay in the Home, I received the `Inspiring Writer Award` from the residents at an Award function. 

My friendly nature and positive attitude have helped me to make many new friends who make me feel a part of a big Nana Nani, Phase 4 family. I don't feel lonely at all. Besides, my policy of `detached attachment` towards my near and dear ones helps me in not missing anyone. I am very happy with my stay at NNP4 for the last two years. 

As an Octogenarian at 83, I am enjoying my new avatar as a writer/author while following a policy of making at least one person happy every day. I am financially secure and can manage my affairs without depending on my children. I have discovered the joy of giving- sharing my resources, in terms of cash, kind and my time, for the benefit of those in need. Staying in a Community like Nana Nani, I feel a new purpose and meaning in my life. I am leading a stress-free life, waiting impatiently for the final departure call from my maker, constantly praying that the Lord above takes me with my shoes on.

LRGK- A HELPFUL SOUL – A tribute

 The news of the sudden demise of L. Rajagopalakrishnan (LRGK- 87), my wife Prabha's elder sister Jaya's husband, brought back memories of my long association with him. I first met him at my wedding in 1972. As Prabha had lost her father when she was only 20 days old, LRGK performed the role of her father at the wedding, while her elder brother Srinivasan conducted the wedding. LRGK was a handsome young man who played an important role at the weddings of my two daughters held in 1994 and 1998. Since I had opted for the labour contract for the catering, someone from the family needed to keep a close watch on the utilisation of the materials by the chief cook. LRGK, a knowledgeable man on the subject took charge of this job. He positioned himself outside the store room where all the groceries and vegetables required for the wedding were stored and kept a close watch on the materials being taken by the cook. Often missing out on important events at the weddings.

LRGK was an ardent devotee of Lord Murugan. As a father less child, LRGK had to struggle against all odds to get his B.Com degree. Like my father, he had no other interests in life except his family and his job in the TVS group as a manager in a department. He was a doting husband and a caring father. As the only surviving maternal uncle for the children of his sisters, he would be the first to arrive at any event in their families to extend whatever help he could. He was extremely popular among all his nephews and nieces.

As his first son was disabled due to a birth injury, he was particular that his second son, Parthasarthy, popular as Keerthy in the family, was well educated. Keerthy was not happy with the BSc degree for which he was admitted to a private college and wanted to get a Bachelor's degree in Engineering.. Though he had already spent a few months in the college, LRGK went to the office of the Vice-Chancellor of SRM College of Engineering to explore the possibilities. He sat outside the office of the Vice Chancellor for two days and did not leave until he secured admission for his son. A man of determination and perseverance indeed! Keerthy did not let him down. After getting his Engineering degree, he went to the USA on a job visa, where he later decided to settle down. He married Sangeetha, a girl chosen by his parents, who proved to be an ideal match for Keerthy. This made for each other couple have two teenage children – son Madhav Ojas (16) and daughter Yahvi (13) excelling in their chosen fields. It is a happy family making their parents proud.

LRGK was lucky that Keerthy, who was visiting India on a short holiday, was with him during his last days and will leave for the USA only after performing all the rituals. My heartfelt condolences to the family, particularly to Jaya, who has been a pillar of strength to LRGK in his life. Despite the many serious health issues that she has, it is commendable how she faces the many ups and downs in her life with tremendous willpower. I pray to God to give her the strength to face the loss of her life partner for 58 years.

May his soul rest in peace!