Out of Sight – Out of Mind

`Out of sight, out of mind` plays a major role in relationships. When a friend moves to another city, we solemnly vow to stay in touch. “We’ll talk every week, if not every day”, we say. Weeks turn into months, and before you know it, the only interaction you have is through social media posts. I have realised this after moving to Coimbatore. Not only with friends, but it also happens with family members. You may be out of sight, but you are not out of the minds of friends and relatives because of the opportunity to connect with them through Social Media, WhatsApp being the most popular medium of communication across age groups. I prefer it to one-on-one verbal communication through mobiles. There is a reason for it.

In the last few years, I have found that I don`t enjoy receiving calls, nor do I enjoy making them, for two reasons. As I age and experience temporary memory lapses, I often interject a caller while he is still talking. I am in a hurry to convey something I feel I might forget if I do not convey it to him/her immediately. This obviously irritates the caller, besides the loss of continuity of the conversation. Because of the same problem, I find I am groping for words and fumbling to convey what I want to convey. Hence, these days I try to avoid one-on-one conversations and use WhatsApp for typing most of my communication.

I have also stopped making routine calls to enquire about the health of friends, and also don`t expect others to call me for the same reason. Unless there is an emergency and the need for urgent communication, I don`t call friends or even family members unnecessarily for a friendly chat. So I am not complaining that I am `out of mind` of many near and dear ones because they don`t call me in person.

`Out of sight- out of mind` syndrome also happens when we lose some close friends or relatives, like parents or life partners. In the case of close friends, the memory would remain for a month or two after a mandatory condolence meeting organised by well-wishers. However, in the case of parents or life partner, there would be regular opportunities to remember them thanks to the rituals that are conducted till the first Anniversary. After that, a framed photo of the near and dear ones, duly adorned with a plastic garland, would be prominently displayed on the wall of the house. People who consider their parents as gods are likely to place their photos in the puja room.

In my case, I had placed the garlanded photos of my parents not in the puja room but in a prominent place at the entrance of the house so that I have an opportunity to remember them occasionally. A photo of my late wife, Prabha, was placed in a prominent location in the main hall, which I can never miss seeing every day. Though Prabha passed away in 2013 and has been `Out of sight` for more than a decade, she is not `out of my mind` because of the activities I undertake through the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation, started by me in her memory 13 years ago!

In the case of friends, though many of them may be out of my mind, the next time I see them, memories of our association come flooding back, and we enjoy going down memory lane!

With the increasing role of social media in our lives, which also helps us connect with long-lost friends, I wonder if the old saying `Out of sight -out of mind` is relevant today.

 

 

A RELAXED TRIP TO CHENNAI

Meeting old friends, making new friends.

As I came out of the Coimbatore Airport yesterday ( 30th March) afternoon, after a relaxed 25-day trip to Chennai, a hot blast of air hit me, unlike the pleasant weather that greeted me when I stepped out of the Chennai airport on 6th March. I was lucky that I experienced pleasant weather right through my stay in Chennai. I had gone primarily to sign a Release Deed in connection with the redevelopment of my Home in Sastri Nagar. While the date for signing the Deed was getting delayed, I took the opportunity to stay for a few days with my sister at Asiana Shubham, daughter, brother and finally in my own home with my son`s family. I must thank all of them for looking after me well during my stay.

The long stay also allowed me to attend meetings of many institutions with which I was associated in Chennai - Tamil Puthaga Nanbargal, 41 Club, Rotary Club of Madras South, Sharan group of senior citizens, ending up with a meeting on 29th March, at Tag Centre, where my friend S.R.Madhu made an excellent Video presentation on Asha Bhonsle. While staying in Adyar, I also visited Bessy, where I met my walking friends- both the larger Elliot group with families and the smaller Elite group, which meets for a cup of coffee after the walk. I also met a couple of my schoolmates based in Chennai and visited Rally Point, a sports complex, a dream project of Bina Boaz, a Past President of the Rotary Club of Madras South, where I was a member for 47 years. The trip gave me a chance to meet all my old friends and go down memory lane with some of them, justifying my long stay in Chennai this time.

Among the many events I attended, I would like to single out the following for special mention: The first event was the 5th Birthday celebration of my granddaughter, Bakthi Balaji, at the Madras Boat Club on 7th March. She was so delighted to see me that she went around telling everyone that “Rajan Thatha has come to Chennai to specially attend my birthday”. The second event was the dinner meet of the Tamil Puthga Nanbargal, at the Madras Boat Club on 8th March. Attendees were Mr & Mrs J Bhaskaran, A doctor cum writer, Mrs Girija Raghavan, editor of Ladies Special magazine and Bombay Kannan, a legend in the world of Tamil audio books, plus the Team behind the Tamil Puthaga Nanbargal -R.T.Chari of Tag group, Kizhambur, editor of Kalaimagal magazine, and Ravi Tamilvanan, Director of Manimekalai Prasuram, and I. It was a pleasant evening. I was also delighted to attend the 108th episode of `Kalangalil Avan Vasantham` based on the songs of Kannadasan, hosted by the multitalented Isaikavi Ramanan at Vani Mahal. The programme is so popular that the hall was packed half an hour before the meeting started. I am a fan of Ramanan.

The last nine days I spent in my own house were memorable for two reasons- the good time I had with my grandchildren, Thavam and Bakthi. It was a pleasure watching them indulge in so many creative activities. Bakthi was particularly charming with her endearing and caring ways to make me happy. While she has started learning dance and music, Thavam ( 8 years) is learning to play the keyboard, besides attending tennis class. I must compliment my daughter-in-law, Tulse, for the time she is spending with the children to keep them busy with creative activities. She is supported in her challenging job by my son, Balaji and her parents, Naresh and Nandhini. The children are lucky that they have their maternal grandparents to not only keep pace with their energies but also teach them values. God bless them all.

The second reason is the realisation that this was probably the last time I stayed in my own house before it goes under the bulldozer in a couple of months. What were my feelings? More about it in a post which I intend to write closer to the date when I have to say goodbye to my dream home of 44 years.

After a lot of suspense, I signed the Deed at the Registrar`s office on 27th March and returned to Coimbatore, which received me with a warm (hot) welcome. Looking forward to my daily routine at Nana Nani and enjoying the company of my friends here

A new short story from me

  Since the publication of my book ` A Difficult Choice`- a collection of 15 short stories by me  published in 2017,​ I had not written a short story for a long while. That spell was broken when I tried my hand at writing a short story in Tamil after several decades. Titled, ​`Anmaneya Kadhal ( Platonic love), it was published in a recent issue of Malar Vanam, a monthly e-magazine in Tamil edited by Ramki aka K.R.Ramakrishnan. I am now happy to report that my new short story in English, titled ` Solitude by design`, has been published in the March 26  issue of Mixed Bag, another monthly e-magazine in English published by Ramki.

​I was inspired to write this story based on the life of a resident in a ​Senior ​Citizen ​Home, who has two wives and families, and yet has chosen to live alone in a Senior Citizen Home. I must state that this is not his life story but a fiction based on the idea of a man with two families choosing to live alone in a SCH.

                         

          Solitude by Design- An independent life without responsibilities.

 

Raman , a widower  was staying in  a well known senior citizen community  in Chennai . The facility had  a dining hall  where many residents would come to partake their meals three times a day, providing an opportunity for the residents to make  new  friends. Oneday  he met Rajendran, a newcomer to the community. He was surprised to learn  that Rajendran had moved into the community in spite of having two families- through two wives. One staying in Chennai and another in Coimbatore.

Having two wives and still staying in a senior citizen home alone? Raman  decided to probe Rajendran  who was more than willing to share his interesting life story.

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Rajendran`s  father was a school teacher in a government school and they lived  in a  modest home in Saidapet.   Only child to his parents he grew up to be a handsome young man. After school he got admission  in the prestigious Engineering college in Chennai.  After getting a degree,  he joined a well known  automotive company as a management trainee. Since he was doing well in his job, his parents decided to get him married to a distant relative , 20 years old Sita, when  he was only 25.

She  was  not a graduate and  turned out to be an introvert who preferred to stay back and build a beautiful home,  contrary to Rajendran`s  penchant for social life. The couple was blessed with a boy and a girl within five years of the marriage and his wife got deeply involved with the children. Though she was a good homemaker. Rajendran realized that Sita was not the dream girl that he wanted  to marry.

 It was almost 10 years after  his marriage, his company decided to post him to Coimbatore,  as Manager in charge of a new project that the company was setting up in that city. Sita decided to stay back in Chennai with the children as she  was not sure of managing the household by her self in Coimbatore in the absence of Rajendran who would be away on tour, 20 days a month.  Besides she was confident of getting her parents`support  in Chennai .

In Coimbatore,  Rajendran  started missing his family and particularly his wife who knew how to make him happy whenever he visited Chennai to meet the family.

Rajendran  started feeling miserable. His secretary Neela, a 25-year-old single woman staying in a Ladies Hostel, was an understanding soul. Whenever she found Rajendran  in a disturbed mood , she would encourage him to talk about his problems and offered him whatever solace she could.  

 Rajendran was greatly touched by her compassion and understanding.  She was truly the dream girl that  he  would have liked to marry. She  was willing to lend more than her shoulder to help Rajendran  face his hopeless situation. Though they were discreet in their relationship during office hours, they decided to meet every Saturday afternoon at a nearby resort hotel to spend the weekend.

These secret outings resulted in Neela becoming pregnant. After one rendezvous, lying exhausted in bed, Neela spoke to Rajendran,  “Raja, I went to a Gynaecologist yesterday since I missed my periods. She confirmed that I am two months pregnant “

 Rajendran  who was on Cloud Nine after a hectic session, landed on Earth with a thud.

“Will you marry me Raja, to give legitimacy to my child… our child?”  Rajendran  did not know how to react. “Are you sure… we have been taking precautions… I mean...” He was fumbling for words. Yet he said, “Leave the problem to me, Neela, I will find a solution.” He did not have to find a solution because of what Rajendran`s wife told  him during his next visit to his home in Chennai,  after  the rumour about  his affair had reached her.

Rajendran went about his chores for the day and anxiously  waited for the night when he would be alone with his wife. The night came and when the door of the bedroom was closed, his wife resisted him trying to embrace her. She got out of his clutches and sat on the bed and asked him to sit next to her.

She said, “I have come to know about your affair with your secretary. I am not upset. I am happy that you have found someone who loves you and makes you happy in every way. I will have no objection if you take her as  your second wife.”

Rajendran was shocked. She continued, “ But I have one request. While you are welcome to visit this home whenever you want, You must not force me to satisfy your physical  needs. I am tired and am unable to cope up with your demands. I have done my job of producing two lovely children for you. I will do my best to bring them up well so that you feel proud of them” So saying she broke down. Hugging him tightly she started crying.  For the first time  in their married life Rajendran  did not force himself on her .

 

“ So you decided to take Neela as your second wife?”quipped, Raman.

“ Yes, with Sita`s  permission I married Neela and set up my second home in  Coimbatore. I have a girl through Neela . She is a management graduate,  who owns a private company.  Neela helps her running it.  Sita  is also happy staying with her daughter in Chennai looking after my grandchildren. My son is in USA with a multinational company, doing very well.  I found that  neither my services nor advice are  required by both my families. Besides I find that if I stay with one family, the other family gets upset. So I decided to   move into this senior citizen home to lead an independent life without responsibilities”

What he said next floored Raman. “ You know I did not have to feel guilty about having two wives.  My grandfather had three wives.  My father had two wives. When his first wife could not bear him a child,  he married her younger sister- my mother.  I am their only child` so saying he broke into his trade mark throaty laughter.

AN ACTION-PACKED SECOND YEAR IN COIMBATORE

I completed two years of my stay at Coimbatore on 25th February, 26. Since I have already written about the Pros and Cons of my stay in Nana Nani, Phase 4 (NNP4), I will restrict this article to the activities that kept me busy during the second year in Coimbatore. And there were plenty of them!

In the last 12 months, I attended more than 30 variety entertainment programmes arranged by groups of talented residents in the community at the Meditation Hall in the Club House in NNP4. Besides these, there were Music and Dance Festivals arranged by Hari Om Mama (96 years), featuring talented artists not only from Coimbatore but also from other cities. I also made an appearance as an actor in a short film produced by my good friend Samji, @ Sambadkumar, as a part of the entertainment programmes he organises regularly. I had the opportunity to watch over 35 films ( Tamil, Malayalam or Hindi) shown free to residents in the plush Ananaya`s Cinema in the clubhouse this year. Considering that I used to watch just 2 or 3 films in a theatre in a year in Chennai, this was a record
Apart from continuing to write my reviews of some of these programmes, this year I took on the additional responsibility of writing the `Curtain Raisers` for all the programmes arranged by Hari Om Mama, which appeared a day before each programme. These articles were shared by me only in the WA groups in Phase 4. I also did some interview-based articles about a few talented residents, which have appeared in magazines like Ladies Special and Dignity Dialogue. I continued to write my essays on various topics, which I share on all my social media handles like Blog, Facebook, WhatsApp and email. Some were published in magazines like Dignity Dialogue, Madras Musings, and Mixed Bag, an online magazine edited by K.R.Ramakrishnan.

Another important development on the writing front is my new ability to type my essays and short stories in Tamil. A couple of my stories in Tamil have appeared in Ladies Special, a monthly edited by Girija Raghavan and Malar Vanam, another online magazine in Tamil edited by K.R.Ramakrishnan.Since I am unable to think in Tamil, I write my stories first in English, based on which I write the Tamil versions.

While the year witnessed me becoming more than a prolific writer, sadly, my reading has come down drastically due to eye-related issues. Whereas I used to read two to three books a month, I am sad to say that I have not read a single book in the last 8 months. Though my vision is good and I have not undergone Cataract surgery so far, I had to undergo a short but delicate surgery for my entropion problem in the left eye. These days, I am unable to read more than 10 to 20 pages at a time. I have to be content with reading newspapers and a few magazines. This has also resulted in my keeping on hold the draft of a self-help book, which is ready but requires more editing before it is sent to the printer.

In my first report, I had mentioned the lack of imagination in menu planning by the catering department in Nana Nani, resulting in my taking dining breaks on days when I don't like the menu. Since I enjoy cooking, I manage to cook my own meals, sometimes shared with my friends here. Besides skipping my meals at the dining hall in the evenings for the last 20 months ( though I am paying for it), I also miss my lunch service at the dining hall for 10 to 15 days a month. I am also known in the community for my cooking abilities.

My visits outside Nana Nani are restricted to visiting the Naga Sai temple in Saibaba colony on every Thursday and the Perumal temple on Saturday mornings. I also visit my daughter`s home once a month and have visited specialist doctors outside the campus for my health-related issues. This year, I attended a couple of dinner meetings of the 41 Clubs in Coimbatore and a Rotary Meeting where I was a speaker, giving a talk on my favourite topic, `Biography as History`. I have consciously avoided keeping in touch with all my old friends in Coimbatore, lest I become too active socially and expose myself to the risks of potential accidents. The traumatic experience of being involved in a road accident ( when I was knocked down by a speeding cyclist) during one of my visits to Chennai last year to receive the `Inspiring Senior Citizen Award` from Tag Group & Ramu Endowments, has resulted in my developing an acute anxiety syndrome. The fear of a fall resulting in avoidable fractures has made me content with participating in programmes within the NNP4 campus, which is always buzzing with activities.

I have made lots of friends in Nana Nani who make me feel completely at home here. It is like a big joint family where I feel very secure and happy. Last year was certainly an action-packed year. Praying God to keep me in good health so that I continue to enjoy my life in Coimbatore. I have become 100% a `Coimbatorevasi`.
The good news is that the owner of my apartment has allowed the extension of the lease agreement of the apartment for two more years. Om Sai Ram!
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Only for those who are interested in my daily routine in N & N

I get up at 5.00 am. I start the day doing Chair yoga for 45 minutes, spend a few minutes going through messages on my smartphone and then go for a walk ( 25 minutes). Come back, take a bath & complete the morning puja rituals. Have my breakfast, followed by reading the morning newspapers. I have a pre-lunch siesta for 60 minutes, after which I spend about 90 minutes on my laptop working on the articles or stories that are in progress. Before or after lunch at the dining hall, I spend some time with friends gossiping outside the dining hall; Come back to my room for some more reading, and post lunch siesta for 60 minutes. If I have no programmes to attend in the evenings, I get into the kitchen to experiment with new dishes. I have an early dinner of a simple meal cooked by me or ready-to-cook items, before 7.00 pm, watch the News ( nay Views ) channels on TV for about 90 minutes and go to bed latest by 9.30 pm. Needless to say, like all people, I keep browsing through my smartphone from morning till going to bed. So there is no question of feeling bored or lonely.

Tribute to a loyal soul!

When I got the news of the sudden demise of Srirangam Raja, my mind went back 45 years, when he joined my company as a driver​. He was more than a driver. He was a part of my family. A school dropout, he had ​​realised most of his dreams in life by sheer perseverance and hard work. I thought I would share his inspiring life story as a tribute to the departed soul.

Born in a ​w​ell-to-do family in Rajapalayam, Srirangam was a problem child for his parents.  When he was 12 years old, he decided to run away from home. He landed in Chennai, seeking refuge​from a distant relative, who was running a successful business.  Since Srirangam​ was not interested in studies, the family agreed to keep him as a helping hand​ to​ run around doing errands.

 When he grew up to be a handsome ​youngster of 18,  they decided to teach him ​t​o drive, so that he could pursue a vocation in case he was interested.  Srirangam took to driving like ​a duck to water and became the favourite driver in the family.  They even found a girl from a decent family from their native place and got him married.  He was settled in a small LIG flat, which they bought for him so that he could lead an independent family life. He was blessed with two sons, who grew up  to be as handsome as he was.

 When everything seemed to be ​g​oing well, Srirangam ​​realised that the next generation in his employer’s family was not treating him well.  One morning, he quit his job and decided to try his luck elsewhere. He​ joined my good friend Pandu Chintamani​, who was then the Manager of HTA in Chennai, as a company driver.  Within the next two years, when Pandu got transferred to another city, he recommended Srirangam​ to me, as I was looking for a reliable driver. I readily agreed to take him​, least ​​realising that it was going to be a lifelong tryst with Srirangam and his family.

 It ​ had been almost six years since Sriranagam had been with us. He was not only sincere in his job but was extremely loyal to my​ family. He was the embodiment of what a good driver should be. He would go beyond the call of duty to give a helping hand to any member of the family. A friendly and very loyal soul, he knew all my relatives and would be respectful to anyone who visited us. He was very fond of my aged mother​, whom he adored and respected.​ On his ​​payday, after visiting a temple near our house, he would invariably visit our home​ seeking blessings from her​ before taking his​ pay packet home. Obviously, my mother’s blessings worked. He got a job with a Sheik`s family in Saudi Arabia, with a fancy salary which I could never match. He left for Saudi ​Arabia at the age of 32, leaving behind his family, with dreams of earning big money to give ​a good education to his two sons and raise the standard of living of his family.

 Srirangam​ continued to be in touch with me.  Every new year, he would send a greeting card to my family, with a special message for my mother.  His​ love and loyalty to our family ​​were unbelievable!

 During the fourteen years he was in Saudi​ Arabia, he not only managed to send his two sons to a good school, but also saved sufficient money which he wisely invested in real estate both in his native place and in Chennai. He owned more properties than ​​ I.

 Every two years​, when he visited us on his holiday, we could see his growing prosperity reflected in his growing tummy. He​ was putting on weight and was having a blood pressure problem.  He was acquiring health problems associated with wealth.​ During his seventh trip to India, after 14 years in Saudi Arabia, he had a massive heart attack. He had to undergo a ​​bypass surgery to get rid of the four blocks in his heart.  He was only 46.  Under pressure from his family, he decided to quit his job in Saudi Arabia and​ stay back in Chennai.  

 * * * * *

 Six months after his return to India and after fully recovering from his health problem, Srirangam​ visited me. He said that he had​ decided to work again as a driver. He would​ look for a job elsewhere, only if I did not​ want him. When I told him that I​ ​could not afford the kind of salary he was used to, he said he ​​would accept whatever salary I offered him, ​He was talking based on the strength of the​ adequate savings he had in his bank account.​ I promptly hired him back​, and the whole family was delighted.  Soon I ​​realised that I was not only his employer but also a consultant in sorting out his family issues, which he encountered frequently. 

 Years rolled on.  Both his sons became graduates and found decent jobs. A dream come true for Srirangam, who had studied only upto 4^th standard. Both sons were married off to girls from good families. His elder son​ married a girl from Rajapalayam, while his second son got married to a girl from Salem. Srirangam was delighted when his first son presented him with two ​​grandchildren - a ​​granddaughter and a grandson. The second son also caught up and presented his parents with a grandson. Srirangam was street smart with a lot of common sense. He had already built separate houses for each of his ​​sons in the land he had invested in to avoid problems faced by joint families. He lived in his own house with his wife close to his children`s homes.

 Within a couple of years​, tragedy struck the family. His second son​, who was doing very well in a ​​nationalised​ bank and had risen to become a manager of a branch, died of cancer when he was in his early thirties​, leaving behind a young wife and a son. Srirangam was devastated. Soon​,​ he recovered from the tragedy and made arrangements to ensure that his second son`s family was well looked after,

In the ​​meantime, when I retired from my job, he also retired. Having fulfilled all his responsibilities in life, he became busy travelling across the country, going on pilgrimages​ and visiting foreign countries with his family groups and generally having a good time. During his sojourns, he would not forget to call me and enquire about my health. When in Chennai, he would visit my home often with his wife to pay his respects. He lived a full life​, always valuing relationships. I began to treat him like a younger brother, a part of my family.

 Just a few weeks ago​, he had called​ and promised to visit me in my new home at Nana Nani. But it was not to be.​ He passed away suddenly ​​from cardiac arrest while recovering from a surgery for Hernia. He was 74.  I will miss him, because it is very difficult to get such fiercely loyal souls these days. I pray god that his soul attains Satgati and gives strength to his family for bearing this irreparable loss!

Sugandhi Dandapani - A visual artist by instinct

 The Senior citizen home where I am staying has many talented residents who excel in their favourite hobbies. Among them Suganthy Dandapani (64) stands out . She specialises in making handicrafts to suit special occasions and miniature replicas of popular temples.

Suganthi was born  in Tirukoilur in Tamil Nadu, but was brought up in Chennai, where her father Pandurangan , was working as an officer in the Railway Mail Service. She is the third among four sisters.  She did her schooling in Singaram Pillai Girls Secondary High School at Villivakkam.  Though she was a bright student, and received appreciation for many of her essays on various topics from her teachers, she did not continue her education beyond 11^th standard.  Her conservative parents did not allow her to study further citing the family tradition. When she was 26, she was married to Dandapani whose family was running a jewellery shop in Nagapattinam. Until her marriage, she utilised her time giving free tuitions to poor children in her neighbourhood and also learning tailoring, besides making wire baskets.

Suganthy says,” Most of the ladies in our  Vysya community, to which I  belong, learn to make wire baskets using the cross stitch method from a young age.  These baskets are used extensively in marriages”.

Suganthi`s creative mind made her think beyond wire baskets. For her elder sister`s son`s fourth birthday, she dressed him like a priest and fabricated a Sivalingam using cardboard and other materials. A special photo of the boy worshipping the Sivalaingam was taken, which was very much appreciated by everyone in the family. That was the beginning of Suganthy`s tryst with custom-made handicrafts and miniatures.

After marriage, she moved to Nagapattinam, where her husband`s family was settled. It was a joint family where again she had to live with a lot of restrictions.  However, she was allowed to display her talents at the nearby Kanniga Parameshwari temple. On special occasions she would fabricate different types of braids (Jadais). She  also used her imagination to try to adorn the deity with other types of make ups (Alanagaram) using different materials. It was around this time that she learnt to make ICE lingams. She and her husband have performed `Panchlinga Puja` using five Ice lingams she had made and Jothirlinga Puja using twelve Ice Lingams. At the Senior Citizen Home, she continues with this practice.

After  they celebrated their  30^th wedding anniversary, they moved to  Nana Nani, Phase 4 in Coimbatore, in 2017 to lead an independent life  without any responsibilities. Since they did not have any children they felt a well run senior citizen home would offer them better security and all the other facilities required by them at their age. Sugandhi could also  actively involve herself in her favorite hobby without any restrictions. It was a turning point  in their lives.

Phase 4 has a big Mahalaxmi Temple. In their very  first year, Suganthy fabricated several Jadais  (braids), which were used in adorning the head of the Processional deity ( Amman) in the temple. The Jadai , using several layers fabricated as a crown, adorns the deity even today. Any festival celebrated in the temple  witnesses some contribution from Suganthy in the form of a special decoration of the deity. Similarly, any programmes based on religious festivals will have on display an item specially fabricated by her. The Ramanavami festival last year had a miniature of the new Ayodhya temple, like the ones that architects make, made by her, displayed in a corner of the stage. Similarly, she had made a miniature of the Ayyappa temple featuring the hill, complete with the eighteen steps in the meditation hall of the community where a mega Puja for lord Ayyppa was performed,

Suganthy also celebrates every festival at home with appropriate decorations in the puja room to suit the festival. She had an exhibition depicting the story of Krishna Jayanthi at home .  She was thrilled when a popular singer visited her home on the occasion and sang a few songs on Krishna.

Suganthy recalls two memorable events  in her life. She says,” At the Neelayadakshi temple in Nagapattinam, during  Shivaratri  our  family contribution was the special Ice Lingam, which I would make and place it in an identified location in the temple. After puja in the main temple when our family returned to the area, we would be thrilled to find the Lingam surrounded by hundreds of lamps lit by devotees. 

 A couple of years ago, when a handicrafts exhibition was organized in the Meditation  Hall of the Senior Citizen Home,  my stall was highly appreciated by Mrs Uma Maheshwari, the JMD of the Ananya Homes, who was the chief guest on the occasion".

For all her talent, Suganthy had no formal training in the art. She is  a visual artist by instinct who is primarily guided by an innate, intuitive ability and gut feeling in making artistic decisions

She uses her imagination and some reference photos to fabricate items with cardboard, thermocole, fevicol and other relevant materials. Her husband Dandapani is of great help these days. He not only gives ideas, procures materials, but also actively helps in the fabrication of items. The couple is popular in the community for their active role in all the religious festivals held in the community.

Though her formal education had ended with the school, that did not stop her from learning Sanskrit and the Vedas after moving into the  Home. She studied Sanskrit at the Samskruthaa Bharathi in  Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan. After passing the Kovidha exams, she started teaching Sanskrit online to interested residents in the community. She has also learnt the Vedas from the experts in the community and is now part of all Veda chanting groups active in the community.

Suganthi`s life is one more  example to prove that age is no barrier to pursue one`s passion for anything. And that well-run Senior Citizen Homes with a vibrant community offer plenty of opportunities for any creative pursuits.

 

 

A place to relax and chill

 It was a short trip with a twin purpose- to attend the wedding of my cousin`s son in Bangalore, followed by an eagerly awaited visit to my younger daughter Sowmya`s farmhouse in Thally. While at the wedding, I caught up with a lot of relatives, I did not venture to meet any other friends in Bangalore because of the fear of getting caught in the suffocating traffic in Bangalore. I left for Thalli by a taxi accompanied by my elder daughter, Kavitha, who had also come to attend the wedding. The farmhouse is located in a village called Thogarai Agraharam, which is equidistant from both Thally and Denkanikottai towns, both part of Hosur District, 1000ft above the sea level. The area has a cool, salubrious weather with hill-surrounded landscape which reminded the British of England, and hence it is called `Little England. It has been a major supplier of a variety of flowers and fruits to markets all over the country.

My daughter's farmhouse is located on a property developed by Heritage Group of Bangalore, which sells quarter-acre plots to those interested in buying a plot. Aptly named `Sukh Nivas`, the house is built on a quarter-acre plot. What is special about the house? It is built using mud bricks for the entire masonry work, with only 5% of cement used in the construction. The bricks are made using the soil in the plot and dried for 20 days under the Sun, before use. It was a dream project of my son-in-law, Sathya ( @ D.Srinivasan – Group Captain, IAF (retd.), who is an avid bird watcher and a nature lover. The choice of the place was also influenced by the fact that his eldest sister and her two daughters have their farmhouses in the same property.

This architect-designed house is built in the centre of the plot with provisions for growing trees/plants or lawns in the front as well as the backyard. You get into the house from an entrance located on the side, into a hall which accommodates a beautifully designed open kitchen with the dining area and a drawing room opening to a large backyard through a French door. The adjoining `Thinnai`- a raised sit out has two Swings to chill out. The other end of the hall has two bedrooms built on either side of the hall. With an arch shaped separation wall and a sloping roof with transparent glass panels to percolate light, the house looks beautiful. It is also tastefully furnished. While the front area also houses an open garage, the utility room is located on the first floor. Though the process of construction witnessed a lot of ups & downs, including cost escalations, the final outcome can be termed as a dream project come true. As they say, all's well that ends well,

The weather, the rustic feeling, and the overall ambience lend themselves to lead a calm and peaceful life. However, as the property is still under development, and there are many empty plots where the owners have yet to build their homes, it is sparsely populated. It lacks cemented roads and street lights. Besides, the place is located a few miles away from a nearby town where you have to go for all your shopping and medical facilities. While it is a great place to live after you have fulfilled all your commitments and you have a passion for nature, it can be used only for short duration stays, like what Sowmya and Sathya are doing now, since they still have professional commitments.. Congratulations, Sowmya and Sathya for realising one of your dreams.

While I tried to `chill` during my brief stay at Sukh Nivas, I seemed to have got the `Chill` of the place resulting in my suffering from Cold and Cough after my return to Coimbatore. That does not prevent me from visiting Thally once again to spend a more relaxed time.