AN ESSAY CONTEST FOR FEMALE WRITERS IN TAMIL

After the last series of contests with Rani Weekly, this year Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation is sponsoring an Essay contest for women writers in association with Kalaimagal, the 95-year-old literary magazine in Tamil. I am forwarding the details of the contest published in the September 26 issue of the magazine. All female writers in  Tamil are encouraged to participate in this contest, held as a part of my (late)wife Prabha's Platinum Birthday commemoration

 

SHARAN - TOWARDS MUTUAL SUPPORT

The number of senior citizens with children settled abroad and those living alone because of the breakdown of the joint family system has multiplied manyfold. Correspondingly, the number of Senior Citizen Homes (SCHs) with excellent infrastructure and services for senior citizens has also grown. But what about those who cannot afford such expensive SCHs or those not in a position to move to an SCH for several reasons? Many of them lead an insecure and lonely life. What kind of support system do they have?

This is where informal groups of friends come together in many cities to provide help and support in times of need to such people. This story is about “Sharan”, started by a few friends in the Adyar neighbourhood in South Madras in 2008. Reflecting on its origin, Shri R.Shanker, one of the two founders with children living abroad, has this to say:

“During my walk in Indira Nagar, Adyar, one day, someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was my friend T S Venkataraman, whose children also live abroad. He talked about the need for a few friends living alone in the neighbourhood to come together to form an informal support system –to support the elders in their own homes, particularly during health emergencies, apart from offering any other help they need.”

Both friends decided to act on the idea with a few more friends. The result was the birth of Sharan, an association of senior citizens, which was registered under the Tamil Nadu Societies Act in 2010 with the primary objective of providing ‘Mutual Support’ to its members.

T S Venkataraman adds, “We initially faced difficulties in enrolling members, as many were sceptical about the need for one more association. Two well-written articles about Sharan in The Hindu supplement “Downtown” and a report in “Adyar Times” catalyzed to create more awareness about Sharan among residents of Adyar and adjoining areas. What differentiates Sharan from the other associations is its aim to promote among its members is, the spirit of mutual support; a desire and mindset in every member to help others in the group in times of need to the extent possible.

An ex-Sharanite, Hariharan, with help from his designer son, helped design the Sharan logo. The visual of multiple stretched hands represents the motto of Sharan: “Towards Mutual Support”. Another Sharanite, Dakshinamurthy @ Kavignar Thenmugan, wrote the lyrics for a special Sharan Anthem, which was set to music by Sharanites Radha Shanker and Usha Sethuraman.

Every meeting of Sharan starts with this anthem sung by a couple of Sharanites. Sharan is managed by a committee consisting of the President, Secretary, Treasurer and six members who are elected by the members and hold office for a period of two years. The first President of Sharan was Prof. V.Narasimhan. He was followed by T.R.Gopalan, R.S.Bakshi, and Dr.H.Raman. Since the beginning, Sharan has seen the Presidents and their Secretaries with the active support of the Management Committee members, doing a commendable job.

In order to provide opportunities for members to bond, Sharan regularly organises cultural and social activities. Within ten years since Sharan started, scores of activities covering lectures, visits to old age homes, outstation trips both within the country and abroad, Temple visits, celebration of all important festivals, musical evenings, workshops on health-related subjects and many other activities which would help members bond, were held regularly. On the personal level, any appeal or help sought by members through telephone calls or messages in the Sharan WhatsApp group was promptly addressed by members living close to the affected person.

Like all other associations, the COVID pandemic made Sharan go online. It was in July 2021, when the pandemic was at its peak, that K. Vishwakumar took over as the fifth President of Sharan with Raji Venkatesh as his secretary for a second term.

Raji says, “We conducted virtual meetings with Sharan members month after month during the first 7 months, from Aug 2021 to Feb 2022. In May 2021, the chanting of the Dhanwantri Mantra by a group of dedicated Sharanites was started for the good health of all members. I am glad to say that this online chanting is continuing even now every day without a break.”

It is interesting to note that a Dhanvantri big homam was performed on 17.12.25 at Viswakumar’s residence for the well-being and prosperity of all members and mankind.

When the physical meetings started again, Vishwakumar offered the air-conditioned meeting hall on the second floor of KOKILADVANI in Valmiki Nagar, which he owns, for FREE to Sharan to conduct all its meetings. He has also provided a basic sound system and a screen for use in meetings.

This hall can comfortably accommodate about sixty people. Since then, Sharan has had all meetings at this Hall. Only for special meetings like the AGM or the Founders Day celebrations, where the attendance is bigger, are outside venues considered. Expenses related to some of these meetings are sponsored by some members. This has helped Sharan save a considerable amount used for hiring a hall and paying for refreshments.

It was during Vishwakumar's tenure as the President that Sharan brought out a book commemorating the Pearl Anniversary (12th Anniversary) of Sharan. The book gives not only the History of Sharan but also a brief bio of its members. Though Smt Janaki Venkatraman and R. Parameshwaran have succeeded him as President, Vishwakumar, supported by his wife Geetha, continues to be a live wire Past President, extending every possible help to the new teams in their efforts.

Some of the new ideas introduced during the last three years include revival of Sharn E magazine ( a quarterly online magazine edited by Parameshwaran), formation of three distinct Whats App groups covering Sharan News, Sharan Greetings and Sharan entertainment to ensure that important information is not lost in the deluge of responses and forwards by members and the formation of special interest groups like cards, music, share market, chit chat, potluck etc. Besides programmes like `Chai Pe Charcha` and Breakfast meetings in members' homes, the President and Secretary also visit the homes of the new members and others who are having mobility problems, creating better bonding.

Sharan started with just 10 members. As of June 2026, it has 130 members. Interestingly, except for a few singles, most of the members are couples. Ladies take a more active part than men in all the activities. From an informal association of a few friends, Sharan has evolved into a very vibrant group which is run on professional lines while retaining the core principle of `Friendship`& `Mutual support’. It is a fact that in today's digital world, it is friends, more than family, who help in fighting loneliness among elders.

I would like to conclude this article with a quote from a member, Mrs Malthy Sinha,” Good friends are like stars; you don't always see them, but you know they are always there for you.”

(Latest issue of Madras Musings carries this article)

JURY DUTY- People Vs Ananya Sharma

A Crime drama  with a difference ( Review)

I went to see a Crime drama  ( not a murder mystery) this Sunday, primarily because my daughter Sowmya was donning a small role in it. Titled Jury Duty- People Vs Ananya Sharma, it was held at the Crimson restaurant in Broadway Mall in Coimbatore, in front of an audience consisting of friends and relatives of the performing artists. It was an  Immersive Theatre Experience, where the audience became jurors to decide whether the accused is Guilty or Not Guilty! Am told that it was a first-of-its-kind experiment by any theatre group in Coimbatore.

What impressed me was the enormous efforts put in by Director Chanda Katuria and her team to make the whole show feel authentic. Each table with members of the audience acting as jurors had a file containing the case details, with a writing pad & pens to make notes and placards featuring the words guilty, not guilty and not convinced.

 After each of the three acts, when the audience was asked to give their opinion, there was animated and serious discussion among the jurors!
With the prosecutor ( Somy Sridas) and the defence lawyer (Abhirami Ramesh) vigorously arguing the case and questioning the witnesses, there was not a dull moment in the play. All the artists, including Sowmya,  playing the role of a Housekeeper who is the jealous guardian of the murdered Businessman, lived their roles.  However, I would like to single out Mrs Sneha Ramesh ( mother of Abhirami ), who was going on the stage for the first time and gave a convincing performance.​ So also Kshitij Mathur, the lawyer, who had a long piece requiring phenomenal memory. In the film world, he would have got the title `One-take artist`

Though I had sacrificed both my pre and post-lunch siesta on a Sunday, I sat glued to the seat, thoroughly enjoying the ninety-minute show and the delicious lunch that followed. Congratulations to Chanda Katuria, of PLATFORMANCE specialising in  Drama, Theatre and Musicals, who had conceptualised, written & directed the play. Look forward to more such experiments from her.

A Home for the golden years ( DD-Aug, 2026)

 My first exposure to an old age home was 20 years ago, when my mother-in-law was admitted to a modest home run by a distant relative located in an independent home in a busy residential colony in the suburbs of Chennai. It was close​ to a popular temple and other facilities that senior citizens require. It also provided home-cooked meals. My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last six years of her life in that old age home, when there were negative connotations about old age homes. Her NRI son, for his own reasons,  ​​decided to keep her in the Home despite my offer to look after her in my home. Just to make her feel we still cared about her, I would bring her home every month for a week's stay. One day, she told my driver, “I don’t know why my son-in-law brings me here every month. I am getting bored here. I am very happy in my  Home with a lot of new friends to talk to. Here I spend the whole day only watching TV or listening to music. Everybody is so busy. That is the first time I realised the importance of a​ senior citizen home in the life of elders and their need to be with like-minded friends in their old age.

Has anything changed with Senior Citizen Homes over the years? Yes, a lot.  ​​Modern-day homes located in gated communities have all the basic facilities that senior citizens need and much more for those who can afford the price.

 During my visit to Coimbatore in 2022, to get an idea of life in senior citizen homes, I visited a few friends staying in popular Senior Citizens Homes to get feedback on their experiences in the gated communities where they were staying. This was for an article I was writing for an online magazine.​ I found all of them very happy. I did not know then that within two years of writing that article, I would myself move into Nana Nani in Coimbatore.

 I have been staying in Nana Nani for more than two years, leading an independent and happy life without responsibilities.​Based on my own experience living in a Senior Citizen Home and my understanding of how many other senior citizen homes function, I would like to make the following observations and suggestions for the benefit of those who are planning to move into a Senior Citizen Home.

 - Judging by the good times that many of the residents are having in many senior citizen homes, I would say it is an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful lives, have no family responsibilities and who are financially independent, to spend their twilight years in peace and contentment

 - It is no longer a stigma on the children if their parents voluntarily choose to stay in senior citizen homes which provide them the necessary independence, comfort and the company of new friends with similar backgrounds.

 -Once they have decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home, they should visit a few Homes and stay in their guest houses for a few days to get a feel of the place. They also must talk to some residents to find out what they think of the facilities on offer and their satisfaction level before they make up their mind.

 -Many new Senior Citizen Homes offer five-star facilities which may not be used by ​everyone, and such Homes are very expensive. It is important to choose a facility which satisfies one`s basic needs and is available at a reasonable cost.

 -It might be a good idea to retain one's own home for some time and sell it only when one is fully satisfied with the Home being considered.. Most of the Homes keep increasing their maintenance charges and meal charges from time to time because of escalating costs. Residents must be prepared to face this contingency.

 -Food becomes a major issue in the Senior Citizen Homes. One has to be mentally prepared to adjust one's tastes to the menu on offer. Coimbatore, the most popular city for SCHs, where most of them offer only vegetarian meals and that too the South Indian variety. One's choice of food & the city where one wants to settle down can also be determining factors in selecting the Home.

 -Better to go for the facilities offered by well-known groups. They have the resources and commitment to run the facilities efficiently because their reputation is at stake. Homes started by individuals or private parties are generally not reliable.

 -It is very important to ensure that the Home has reliable in-house medical facilities and is in a position to handle any medical emergencies. This is one of the main reasons that elders staying alone,  with their children living abroad, shift to Senior Citizen Homes. Many Homes promise this facility but lack the necessary infrastructure to provide the service. Also check if such homes can help you get full-time or part-time attenders in case of necessity. Such facilities normally come at an extra cost.

  -Senior Citizen Homes with attached hospices or with facilities to take complete care of bedridden patients can be considered by working couples who have old and infirm parents who need constant help and attention. Atulya Senior Care, which has branches in several cities, specialises in this kind of service.

 - If you have children living in other cities, go for a two-bedroom facility so that there is a place for them to stay whenever they visit you.

 -If one wants to enjoy one's stay in Senior Citizen Homes,  it is important to be friendly with other residents. Remember that more than one's own children, it is the friends who make one's life interesting in old age. Besides, if one is friendly with the able-bodied residents in the facility, they become one's support group and caregivers in case of emergencies until the family members come and take over.

 I would like to conclude this article quoting the words of a resident in another popular  Senior Citizen Home in Coimbatore.

 ”The two essential needs of every individual apart from roti, kapda and makhan are freedom and friendship. Both these crucial requirements for healthy and happy living are assured in the life of elders in Senior Citizen Homes”

 

 

My daughter is now the President of a Rotary Club

I went to Chennai on 8^th July for a week, primarily to witness the installation of my elder daughter, Kavitha Srinivas, as the President of the Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight, an all-women's club, on 10^th July. The function was held at S Convention Centre in T.Nagar

At 6.30pm sharp, the meeting started with the mandatory Tamil Thai Vazhthu, followed by the National Anthem. The surprise of the evening was R.U. Srinivas, Kavitha's husband, singing the invocation song in Tamil, in his melodious voice that set the tone for the action-filled evening that followed. After the formalities of the outgoing President, Dharanija Ramakrishnan, presenting the report of the activities of the Club during her year and the recognition of the team that made it possible, it was time for my daughter to take over the mantle from her.  It was a proud moment for me, belonging to a family of Rotarians, to see my daughter, who was the Annette of the Rotary Club of Madras South, of which both my younger brother Seshadri and I are Past Presidents, take over as the President of another vibrant club.  After a brief but eloquent introduction of Kavitha by her talented daughter Nila, supported by her son Arul on the graphics, it was over to Kavitha.  In her acceptance speech, Kavitha outlined the four major projects she planned to undertake during her year as the President and made a very passionate appeal for funds. The chief guest of the evening, Rtn. DGE Dr​ Vijayabharathi Rangarajan  was spontaneous in committing Rs I lakh towards the club's projects next year. Apart from the family and friends of Kavitha, including her brother-in-law who had come from Bangalore specially to attend the function, there was a good turnout of Co-Presidents of other clubs and District officials. It was an evening full of “warmth, vibrant energy, laughter, friendship and a sense of purpose”.

Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight is a dynamic Club with many talented members who get involved in many activities of the club. I am sure Kavitha, a hardworking, committed, people's person, will take the club to greater heights with the support of her wonderful team. Wishing you all the best, Kavitha. God Bless!

 

TWO IMPORTANT EVENTS IN ONE EVENING

 I went to Chennai on 8^th July for a week, primarily to witness the installation of my elder daughter, Kavitha Srinivas, as the President of the Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight, an all-women's club, on 10^th July. The function was held at S Convention Centre in T.Nagar and was scheduled to start at 6.30 pm.

 Just a couple of days before leaving for Chennai, I received an invitation to attend the Prize distribution function for the winners of the mega short-story competition in Tamil, conducted by Raya Chellappa in memory of his late mother Swarnambal. There were 325 entries and 35 prize winners. I got one of the ten second prizes of Rs 2000/-. The venue was Anna Centenary Library, and the function was to start at 5.00 pm. I was in a dilemma: whether to stay until I ​received the prize from the hands of Tiruppur Krishnan, the chief guest, or leave at 6.00 pm to be in time for my daughter’s function. I chose the second option and missed receiving a prize in a short story competition I had participated in for the first time in my life.

 When Chellappa knew that I might not be staying back, he decided to honour me with a Ponnadai (Shawl) for my association with the Tamil literary world through Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation. The meticulously planned event also witnessed the release of a book containing all 35 prize-winning stories by the chief guest. Though I collected the certificate about the Prize later, I ​managed to get the two copies of the book which were given to all prize winners​ before leaving the venue. Chellappa had ensured that all the prize winners had received their cash prizes through G Pay on the morning of the event. Kudos to Chellappa and all his family members who ensured that the programme was conducted in a grand manner befitting the occasion.

At 6.00 pm, I rushed to my daughter's function. Within a few minutes of reaching the Convention Centre, the meeting started with the mandatory Tamil Thai Vazhthu, followed by the National anthem. The surprise of the evening was R.U. Srinivas, Kavitha's husband, singing the invocation song in Tamil, in his melodious voice that set the tone for the action-filled evening that followed. After the formalities of the outgoing President, Dharanija Ramakrishnan, presenting the report of the activities of the Club during her year as the President and the recognition of the team that made it possible, it was time for my daughter to take over the mantle from her.  It was a proud moment for me, belonging to a family of Rotarians, to see my daughter, who was the Annette of the Rotary Club of Madras South, of which both my younger brother Seshadri and I are Past Presidents, take over as the President of another vibrant club.  After a brief but eloquent introduction of Kavitha by her talented daughter Nila, supported by her son Arul on the graphics, it was over to Kavitha.  In her acceptance speech, Kavitha outlined the four major projects she planned to undertake during her year as the President and made a very passionate appeal for funds. The chief guest of the evening, Rtn. DGE Dr​ Vijayabharathi Rangarajan, during her speech, was spontaneous in committing Rs I lakh towards the club's projects next year. Apart from the family and friends of Kavitha, including her brother-in-law who had come from Bangalore specially to attend the function, there was a good turnout of Co-Presidents of other clubs and District officials. It was an evening full of “warmth, vibrant energy, laughter, friendship and a sense of purpose”.

Rotary Club of Chennai Spotlight is a dynamic Club with many talented members who get involved in many activities of the club. I am sure Kavitha, a hardworking, committed, people's person, will take the club to greater heights with the support of her wonderful team. Wishing you all the best, Kavitha. God Bless!

 

The Sleeping Beauty

  The importance of sleep in a human being`s life can never be underestimated. It is a vital activity—shall we say, inactivity —without which a man can feel miserable. Those who can embrace beautiful sleep every day without problems are blessed!

“I could not sleep the whole night yar!” is a constant refrain from a good friend who is always walking around with red eyes from lack of sleep. On the advice of friends, he tried to count sheep, silently chanted Ram Nam, concentrated on body parts from the toe to the head, tried to read a book before going to bed or watched the comedy channel. Nothing worked! Finally, on medical advice, he started taking a sleeping tablet every night to go to sleep. Though he gets sound sleep, he says he always feels too lazy to get up in the morning, feeling heavy & drowsy because of the tablet!. A bad start to a working day!

I know of a legendary ad man–may his soul RIP–who was a chronic insomniac. A handsome six-footer who was a workaholic, admired and respected by his colleagues, he never slept at night throughout his life. Neither could he sleep during the day. Every morning, he would be the first to arrive at the office as fresh as he could be and start the day by distributing handwritten memos that he had prepared working at home all night, addressed to staff members.

Surprisingly, he was a very healthy man who lived a king’s life and saw over 1000 moons during his lifetime! Not everyone can be as lucky as him!

I had a boss who worked in the office during the night to avoid facing his quarrelsome wife at home, but slept during the day while she was away at work. The weird habit eventually cost him both his wife and his job! Some friends attributed this habit of my boss to his wife`s weird passion for collecting miniature Owls!

There was another boss who would invariably fall asleep while attending a meeting in a boardroom, but suddenly wake up to make a relevant point or raise a question befitting the ongoing discussion and go back to sleep without waiting for the response. Obviously, his sixth sense was at work.

Many others in the world suffer from temporary bouts of insomnia. Often caused by excessive worry, leading to acute stress, eventually resulting in sleeplessness. Dishonest or scheming people who are forever plotting someone`s downfall cannot sleep! Some lovers don’t get sleep because they are fantasising about their heartthrobs the whole night.

Many people cannot sleep at night if they sleep in the afternoon. Or if they consume coffee after 6.00 pm or don`t consume before 3.00 pm. I have no such problem. On any day, even now, I can have a 2-to 3-hour nap in the afternoon and still go to bed by 9.30 pm- my customary sleeping time.

Unlike the adman who led a normal life despite being a chronic insomniac, most of the others who suffer from sleeplessness – temporary or otherwise – are often highly irritable and restless. Making life miserable for their near and dear ones!

More than any sleeping pill or other forms of sleeping aids, I feel that if you have a clear conscience and lead a healthy life without malice towards anyone, embracing sleep whenever you need it should never be a problem! 

Out of Sight – Out of Mind

`Out of sight, out of mind` plays a major role in relationships. When a friend moves to another city, we solemnly vow to stay in touch. “We’ll talk every week, if not every day”, we say. Weeks turn into months, and before you know it, the only interaction you have is through social media posts. I have realised this after moving to Coimbatore. Not only with friends, but it also happens with family members. You may be out of sight, but you are not out of the minds of friends and relatives because of the opportunity to connect with them through Social Media, WhatsApp being the most popular medium of communication across age groups. I prefer it to one-on-one verbal communication through mobiles. There is a reason for it.

In the last few years, I have found that I don`t enjoy receiving calls, nor do I enjoy making them, for two reasons. As I age and experience temporary memory lapses, I often interject a caller while he is still talking. I am in a hurry to convey something I feel I might forget if I do not convey it to him/her immediately. This obviously irritates the caller, besides the loss of continuity of the conversation. Because of the same problem, I find I am groping for words and fumbling to convey what I want to convey. Hence, these days I try to avoid one-on-one conversations and use WhatsApp for typing most of my communication.

I have also stopped making routine calls to enquire about the health of friends, and also don`t expect others to call me for the same reason. Unless there is an emergency and the need for urgent communication, I don`t call friends or even family members unnecessarily for a friendly chat. So I am not complaining that I am `out of mind` of many near and dear ones because they don`t call me in person.

`Out of sight- out of mind` syndrome also happens when we lose some close friends or relatives, like parents or life partners. In the case of close friends, the memory would remain for a month or two after a mandatory condolence meeting organised by well-wishers. However, in the case of parents or life partner, there would be regular opportunities to remember them thanks to the rituals that are conducted till the first Anniversary. After that, a framed photo of the near and dear ones, duly adorned with a plastic garland, would be prominently displayed on the wall of the house. People who consider their parents as gods are likely to place their photos in the puja room.

In my case, I had placed the garlanded photos of my parents not in the puja room but in a prominent place at the entrance of the house so that I have an opportunity to remember them occasionally. A photo of my late wife, Prabha, was placed in a prominent location in the main hall, which I can never miss seeing every day. Though Prabha passed away in 2013 and has been `Out of sight` for more than a decade, she is not `out of my mind` because of the activities I undertake through the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation, started by me in her memory 13 years ago!

In the case of friends, though many of them may be out of my mind, the next time I see them, memories of our association come flooding back, and we enjoy going down memory lane!

With the increasing role of social media in our lives, which also helps us connect with long-lost friends, I wonder if the old saying `Out of sight -out of mind` is relevant today.

 

 

AN ACTION-PACKED SECOND YEAR IN COIMBATORE

I completed two years of my stay at Coimbatore on 25th February, 26. Since I have already written about the Pros and Cons of my stay in Nana Nani, Phase 4 (NNP4), I will restrict this article to the activities that kept me busy during the second year in Coimbatore. And there were plenty of them!

In the last 12 months, I attended more than 30 variety entertainment programmes arranged by groups of talented residents in the community at the Meditation Hall in the Club House in NNP4. Besides these, there were Music and Dance Festivals arranged by Hari Om Mama (96 years), featuring talented artists not only from Coimbatore but also from other cities. I also made an appearance as an actor in a short film produced by my good friend Samji, @ Sambadkumar, as a part of the entertainment programmes he organises regularly. I had the opportunity to watch over 35 films ( Tamil, Malayalam or Hindi) shown free to residents in the plush Ananaya`s Cinema in the clubhouse this year. Considering that I used to watch just 2 or 3 films in a theatre in a year in Chennai, this was a record
Apart from continuing to write my reviews of some of these programmes, this year I took on the additional responsibility of writing the `Curtain Raisers` for all the programmes arranged by Hari Om Mama, which appeared a day before each programme. These articles were shared by me only in the WA groups in Phase 4. I also did some interview-based articles about a few talented residents, which have appeared in magazines like Ladies Special and Dignity Dialogue. I continued to write my essays on various topics, which I share on all my social media handles like Blog, Facebook, WhatsApp and email. Some were published in magazines like Dignity Dialogue, Madras Musings, and Mixed Bag, an online magazine edited by K.R.Ramakrishnan.

Another important development on the writing front is my new ability to type my essays and short stories in Tamil. A couple of my stories in Tamil have appeared in Ladies Special, a monthly edited by Girija Raghavan and Malar Vanam, another online magazine in Tamil edited by K.R.Ramakrishnan.Since I am unable to think in Tamil, I write my stories first in English, based on which I write the Tamil versions.

While the year witnessed me becoming more than a prolific writer, sadly, my reading has come down drastically due to eye-related issues. Whereas I used to read two to three books a month, I am sad to say that I have not read a single book in the last 8 months. Though my vision is good and I have not undergone Cataract surgery so far, I had to undergo a short but delicate surgery for my entropion problem in the left eye. These days, I am unable to read more than 10 to 20 pages at a time. I have to be content with reading newspapers and a few magazines. This has also resulted in my keeping on hold the draft of a self-help book, which is ready but requires more editing before it is sent to the printer.

In my first report, I had mentioned the lack of imagination in menu planning by the catering department in Nana Nani, resulting in my taking dining breaks on days when I don't like the menu. Since I enjoy cooking, I manage to cook my own meals, sometimes shared with my friends here. Besides skipping my meals at the dining hall in the evenings for the last 20 months ( though I am paying for it), I also miss my lunch service at the dining hall for 10 to 15 days a month. I am also known in the community for my cooking abilities.

My visits outside Nana Nani are restricted to visiting the Naga Sai temple in Saibaba colony on every Thursday and the Perumal temple on Saturday mornings. I also visit my daughter`s home once a month and have visited specialist doctors outside the campus for my health-related issues. This year, I attended a couple of dinner meetings of the 41 Clubs in Coimbatore and a Rotary Meeting where I was a speaker, giving a talk on my favourite topic, `Biography as History`. I have consciously avoided keeping in touch with all my old friends in Coimbatore, lest I become too active socially and expose myself to the risks of potential accidents. The traumatic experience of being involved in a road accident ( when I was knocked down by a speeding cyclist) during one of my visits to Chennai last year to receive the `Inspiring Senior Citizen Award` from Tag Group & Ramu Endowments, has resulted in my developing an acute anxiety syndrome. The fear of a fall resulting in avoidable fractures has made me content with participating in programmes within the NNP4 campus, which is always buzzing with activities.

I have made lots of friends in Nana Nani who make me feel completely at home here. It is like a big joint family where I feel very secure and happy. Last year was certainly an action-packed year. Praying God to keep me in good health so that I continue to enjoy my life in Coimbatore. I have become 100% a `Coimbatorevasi`.
The good news is that the owner of my apartment has allowed the extension of the lease agreement of the apartment for two more years. Om Sai Ram!
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Only for those who are interested in my daily routine in N & N

I get up at 5.00 am. I start the day doing Chair yoga for 45 minutes, spend a few minutes going through messages on my smartphone and then go for a walk ( 25 minutes). Come back, take a bath & complete the morning puja rituals. Have my breakfast, followed by reading the morning newspapers. I have a pre-lunch siesta for 60 minutes, after which I spend about 90 minutes on my laptop working on the articles or stories that are in progress. Before or after lunch at the dining hall, I spend some time with friends gossiping outside the dining hall; Come back to my room for some more reading, and post lunch siesta for 60 minutes. If I have no programmes to attend in the evenings, I get into the kitchen to experiment with new dishes. I have an early dinner of a simple meal cooked by me or ready-to-cook items, before 7.00 pm, watch the News ( nay Views ) channels on TV for about 90 minutes and go to bed latest by 9.30 pm. Needless to say, like all people, I keep browsing through my smartphone from morning till going to bed. So there is no question of feeling bored or lonely.

STRESS - POSITIVE & NEGATIVE

 One of the reasons why I decided to move to Coimbatore and stay in Nana Nani was because of the stress, both physical and mental stress, I was going through maintaining the independent home I was sharing with my son`s family in Chennai. Every other day, I had to sort out some problem or the other - chasing the elusive electrician, plumber, carpenter, mason and other service providers to attend to specific problems. It was frustrating. In my old age, I was looking forward to a stress-free life without any responsibilities. Today, I am leading a life without any family responsibilities and the only stress I have is health-related. And I have learnt to live with age-related health issues. Besides, I find my writing and cooking act as effective stress busters.

Google knowledge says that `Stress is the body's physical, mental, or emotional reaction to any demand, challenge, or pressure from a "stressor". There are both positive and negative stressors or painful or pleasurable stressors, as I call them.

 

Positive stress is what you experience when you are bringing up children, or preparing for an important event like a wedding in the family, or anything that eventually brings joy.

 

The kind of stress I experienced when I was building an independent home for my family- buying a plot, finding the money for building the house, getting the plans cleared by the authorities, chasing the contractor for speeding up the work and many other issues that kept me stressed through that journey. At the end of the day, when the house was ready, and we moved in, the joy and happiness I felt made all the stress worth going through. Living in a 250 sq. ft. tenement in a chawl in Mumbai, sharing two toilets with 56 others in the portion where my family lived, to owning my own independent home with two bedrooms with attached toilets in Chennai, was indeed a pleasurable experience, in spite of all the stress it involved.

 

The negative form of stress causes discomfort and can lead to feeling overwhelmed, unable to cope, and eventually burnout. When you have major differences with some near and dear ones, leading to misunderstanding, it can cause painful stress or when your life partner is suffering from a terminal disease, or someone close to you has had an accident and is on life support, what you feel a painful stress. Caregivers of family members suffering from chronic diseases suffer from such painful stress, which sometimes contributes to their own health issues getting aggravated.

 

Periodic stresses are part of everyone`s life. I have gone through many such painful stresses in my life and each time came out of it because of my positive attitude and my belief that `everything happens for the good`. Having learnt a lesson or two from such experiences, I move on with my life, ready to face the next challenge.

PONGAL FESTIVAL IN A GAUSHALA

 It was my first exposure to the Pongal Festival organised by Nana Nani management at Ananya`s Gaushala. What an experience it was! I was overwhelmed by the mega event to which the residents of all six Phases of Nana Nani Homes were invited.

The huge property where the Gaushala is located was transformed into a Mega Rural Fair, complete with food courts where visitors were served a choice of fruits, snacks, and beverages. They could also witness the typical games that are played in rural areas. As a rural marketing specialist, I have participated in hundreds of Mega Melas in Rural India promoting my clients` products. This Mela was different. It was like a happy family get-together of the Appas and Ammas of Nana Nani. It was meticulously planned and executed by the dynamic team of Ananya group under the inspiring leadership of Dr Uma Maheshwari. The location of the Mela in the well-run Gaushala lent authenticity to the celebrations coinciding with the Mattu Pongal theme. There was the traditional display of pots with overflowing milk to the chanting of `Pongalo Pongal` by the visitors, complete with the `Patti Pongal `featuring a favourite cow decked up for the occasion being worshipped.

The way the Cows, numbering 450 with their identification numbers, were roaming around within their enclosures was a sight to behold. I understand that this scientifically run Gaushala, looked after by the committed staff and qualified veterinarians, yields on average 1200 litres of milk, which is used in all milk and milk-based products supplied to the residents in Nana Nani.

My sister, a resident of Asiana Subham, a senior citizen Home in Chennai, during her recent visit to Phase 4, commended the high quality of milk and curds supplied at Nana Nani as compared to what she gets in her Home in Asiana.

No Mela is complete without the mandatory entertainment programme. I was proud to witness the very first item by members of Phase 4. A prayer song on the theme specially written for the occasion by the multi-talented Shylaja. It was composed by the MSV of Phase 4 Padmanabhan, and sung by the Nightingales of Phase 4 – Bhanu, Usha Padmanabhan and Radha Shanakarraman. They were accompanied by the talented dancing trio of Meera, Meena and Bhooma. While all other Phases were given only one slot to display their talents, Phase 4 had the privilege of having a second dance number led by Vidya Venkatachlam, the `mover & shaker` of Phase 4, supported by her team. Kudos to both teams for keeping the flag of Phase 4 flying high.

Although the uneven flooring surface, despite the beautiful carpets covering it, and the high toilets were a cause for anxiety for many elders like me, I was happy to hear that the event, with thousands of residents attending, passed off without any hitch or untoward incidents. It was indeed a memorable event.

Hearty congratulations to the management of the Ananya group for organising such a get-together of Nana Nanians year after year. God Bless them.

A ROLE IN A FILM AFTER SIX YEARS!

 My good friend Sambad Kumar (82), popularly known as Samji, the self-taught filmmaker, has produced and directed eight short films since he moved into Nana Nani, Phase 4, eight years ago. All the films were based on stories conceived by him and enacted by talented members staying in the community

When he offered me a small role in the film `ISAI`, I readily agreed. I don't like acting  on stage these days because of my inability to remember long dialogues, but playing character roles in front of a camera for a film is okay with me. I had acted in scores of plays in Tamil during my school and college days. I remember playing three-bit roles in the play `Saint Theagaraja` staged by Matunga Dramatic Society (MDS) , which had several shows in Bombay and other cities. I had also acted in many other plays for Manavar Kalai Arangam and the Fine Arts Society started by a group of friends. I could not continue acting once I joined the high-pressure advertising profession. Though I had stopped acting on the stage, that did not stop me from accepting roles in short films or advertising shorts produced by friends. I enjoy working in films because of the possibility of retakes until you get the act right.

I was excited because I was going to act in a film after 6 years. The last one was a three-minute promo film titled ` Not Out` for a web series, centred around funny stories based on the lives of senior citizens, in which I was to play the central character. It was to be produced by Rajeshwari Anand, a very talented writer-director, who, along with her cinematographer husband Anand, had produced scores of advertising and telefilms for my agency, Anugrah Madison Advertising. The idea was dropped because of the pandemic and the uncertainty that followed.

The short film ISAI is based on the life of a talented Carnatic singer and his inability to get chances to sing in Sabhas until a good Samaritan, in the form of a popular Vidwan, helps him get one in a Sabha. The Sabha President, earlier, had refused to give the poor artist a chance without getting a donation from him. I played the role of the aggressive and arrogant Sabha President. It was a small role, but it offered me an opportunity to display my talent as a character actor. The success of the film and the appreciation I have received for living the role ( not just acting)  has made my day.

A BOOK BY A TEENAGER

 I have attended several book launches in my long life, both as a member of the audience and some as a guest of honour. Authors of most of these book launches were adults, including some senior citizens who were releasing their memoirs or biographies. The book launch that I attended on Friday, 19th December, was different. The author was a seventeen-year-old Aadhya Surendar, a school student studying in the 12th standard. Her book `Seventeen and Anxious` was being released at the Cosmopolitan Club, Coimbatore, attended by a large gathering of relatives and friends.

Aadhya lost her mother when she was five. Though she was being brought up by her loving grandmother, she could not come out of the irreparable loss, leading to her developing mental health problems. A bright girl with a lot of creativity, she would suffer from pangs of anxiety. In writing, she found a personal outlet to process her thoughts and emotions, evolving into a form of reflection and healing. This book is her first, a deeply personal exploration of living with anxiety, growth and resilience. Through her book she seeks to bring awareness to mental health and help others navigate similar experiences.

I had helped her in getting the book published in record time, thanks to my good friend Diwakar of Compuprint. Despite the tremendous workload he had because of the music season, he ensured that the book was ready in time for the release function. It was a well-planned and executed event where Aadhya gave a moving and inspiring account of her turbulent journey, thanking everyone who stood by her during the difficult period. She proved that she is not only a good writer but also a good speaker. I had goosebumps listening to her brilliant speech. There was also audience participation in the form of a few friends and relatives talking about Aadhya.

As the guest of honour at the event, I was privileged to receive the first copy of the book from A G. Guruswamy, Aadhya`s grandfather, who runs a popular Cricket Academy in Coimbatore. In the attached photo, you can see her father, Surendar, standing at the extreme left.

Aadhya is a bundle of talent with a lot of creative energy. I am sure that this book is the first step towards her long journey as a creative person. I wish her all the best in all her future endeavours.

The book, priced at Rs 250, is available on Amazon.

Some tips for writing your memoirs & getting it Self Published

 It was my autobiography, `Courage My Companion`, published in 2009 when I was 67, that launched my new avatar as a writer/author. After I wrote a few chapters,  I had an opportunity to listen to  Mr S.Muthiah, a well known journalist, give a talk at a Madras Book Club meeting on the topic `Biography as History`- He talked about Biography as a social history- providing insights into life, happenings, values and mores of a city or a community or a profession at a certain point of time`. His talk gave my writing focus. It was Mr.Muthiah who discovered a writer in me after reading my autobiography and encouraged me to write articles on various topics. He also helped me in getting them published in the magazines that he was associated with as Editor. With his guidance, I evolved as an engaging writer who could win the hearts of his readers. I have published 13 books in 15 years, covering eight genres of writing. I thought I would share some tips about writing your memoirs or autobiography post-retirement or even earlier.

 

 I can hear you saying ` Oh, I am no good at writing`, ` My English is no good`, ` I have not maintained any diary or notes`.`I am not a famous person.` etc

 

Here I would like to share a quote from the autobiography of Sanjay Manjrekar, the cricket commentator and erstwhile member of the Indian Cricket team. In the Preface to his autobiography titled` Imperfect`, he says, “I feel we have an obligation to the next generation to chronicle our lives. Every individual lives a uniquely different life. He does not need to be famous to share his life experiences- Life stories are always interesting”.

 

As long as you have memories of your past, you can easily share your experiences by penning them on paper or typing them on your PC or laptop. Going down memory lane is always a fascinating experience.  What do we do when we meet old friends from school or college days? Don't we have great fun talking about old times? The same thing happens when you are writing your memoirs. Even if you have not maintained any diary or notes , don`t worry.

 

I started writing my autobiography the day after I retired as the CMD of my own advertising agency at the age of 65- without any diary, notes or records - purely depending on my memory. Though I generally suffer from poor memory I found that every time I sat down to write, the events and characters would float in front of me like a film. Going down memory lane was not only fun but it was also a stress buster and therapeutic for me.

 

Here are some  approaches to writing your memoirs

 

1.The most popular is a linear narrative of your life- starting from your birth to the current in a sequential manner combining both personal and your professional lives.  While recording personal life go into your family history- go back by a couple of generations if you have the information.

 

2. Record only your personal life or professional life.

         

 3.The third approach is to  record interesting anecdotes from different periods of your life. You can always sequence them later. Anecdotes  make  a memoir interesting. Recall as many interesting anecdotes you can remember.

4.Write your memoirs in the language you are comfortable with. English or Tamil or any language you feel proficient

5.     Write regularly- Devote sometime every day or every week  for writing. Don`t worry about being perfect in  English or in the chosen language.  Just record your thoughts as they are flowing in your mind. You can always get your writings corrected by a friend or an expert in the language that you are writing.

6.     While you are writing, you can share drafts with some  near and dear ones for their comments, which can help in improving the content.

7.     If you are writing In English you can download an app called ~Grammarly` and run through your drafts using the app to correct the mistakes you have made. It not only helps in correcting grammatical and other mistakes but also helps by providing alternative ideas for expressing your thoughts.

                                

                                                Self Publishing

Having  got  the manuscript of your memoirs ready , the next stage is to get it published. Getting your  book published through a publisher is a  very difficult proposition. No publisher is interested in the story of a common man.

 

If you have the resources go for self publishing Thanks to self-publishing and print-on-demand facilities today every other writer is able to become a published author. Nowadays, Self publishing  is an accepted norm in the world of writers/authors. It is also an ideal solution for those who want to see their writings in book form.

 

Today Digital printing offers you the facility of print on demand which allows you to print limited copies at a time. You can print anywhere from 5 copies to 200 copies or more.  If  you don't  want to sell the copies, decide on the number of people you want to give the book for free and decide on the quantity. 

 

Approximate costing – 100  pages- 100 copies  can roughly cost you about Rs12,000 to Rs 15,000 depending on the size of the book  which will have the cover page printed in colour and the rest of the inside pages in black and white. There are printers who specialize in this form of printing. I normally use the services of Compuprint based in Chennai.

If you are more ambitious  and feel  you can sell your books it is important to get  your book reviewed by  some celebrity friends  or a  couple of publications. Use the positive responses you get from readers to promote the book online. Promote the book shamelessly because while the Publishers help you initially, after sometime they lose interest  in your book.

Today social media ( email, facebook, twitter, Linked in etc) offers you wonderful opportunities to reach your message to a large audience virtually at no cost.

 

If you are selling the book, Ensure that your books are available through online- Amazon.in, flipkart etc.

 

There is one more alternative. With the increasing tendency of youngsters to read books online, Instead of printing the book you can share the book in its final form as a PDF file. You save a considerable amount incurred in printing books in physical format. However, there is a great joy in holding the first copy of your books in print form- almost akin to holding a new born baby. I would recommend printing at least 50 copies of the book, in physical form.

 

Remember age is no barrier for writing a memoir, novel, collection of poems, short stories or essays. Above all, once you are determined to be a writer/author pursue the dream relentlessly.  You will succeed.

With the experience of publishing 13 books in 15 years covering eight genres of writing I have motivated 20 friends to self publish their books.  I will be happy to offer my services, pro bono, to anyone needing advice on self publishing their books. My email id: rvrajan42@gmail.com