Hitting a double century!

 With the publication of my article titled `A Biography that became an autobiography` based on the book by Dr.S.Krishnaswamy in the Madras Musings issue dt. 16-30 June,2018 , I have crossed two  milestones.  I now have  200 articles published in various periodicals  which includes the publication of 50 of my articles  in Adyar Times under my column `Rajan`s Random Reflections`.

 

Encouraged by the success of my autobiography titled ` Courage My Companion` I started   writing on a variety of topics and posted on them on my blog. My first article titled `ubiquitous Velaikkari appeared in the April,2011 issue of `Eves Touch` magazine which  had the veteran journalist Mr S.Muthiah as a consultant editor. Later an  article titled ` Lord`s Abode- 106 plus 2`` based on my trip to Divya Desams appeared in the Open Page section of The Hindu in June,2011 for which I received an overwhelming response. Since then my articles have appeared in a number of periodicals which include Hindu,  Times of India, New Indian  Express, Madras Musings, Dignity Dialogue, Infinithoughts, Anglos in the Wind, Rotary News, Rind Survey & Vidhura ( publications of the Press Institute of India), magazines of the Madras Boat Club & the Gandhi Nagar Club. My dream of becoming a regular columnist became a reality when Adyar Times published my first article under my column in October,2015.

In the last eight years  I also have the satisfaction  of  publishing  eight  books covering 6 genres of writing.  I am happy that my taking up writing as a  hobby post retirement has worked well for me keeping me very  busy. God willing, I hope to cross some more milestones as a writer  and am looking forward to publishing my first  novel by next year. I believe age is no barrier for having dreams!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers who have kept me going as a writer with their often appreciative  and some times critical feedback on my articles. I would like to specially thank  Mr.S.Muthiah and my good friend  S.R.Madhu  for their constant encouragement.  And my brother Seshadri and my daughter Sowmya for their valuable inputs on my articles before I release them for publication.

Etiquette

Etiquette is defined as the `Rule of polite and correct behaviour` by the Oxford dictionary. Right from our childhood we are taught to behave correctly in different situations by our parents. `Eat with your right hand`, `say hello to uncle`, ` don`t bite your nail`.. `Do this… Don`t do this…`, the list is endless. While these are basics, we learn more about etiquettes in society as we are growing up in life. Some lessons we learn the hard way. As I did, early in my life.
 

The etiquettes that I had learned in my school and college days, staying in a chawl in Bombay,  had not prepared me for how I should behave in high society.  Especially when I entered the glittering world of advertising as a Management Trainee.  So when I was invited by my lady boss for a celebratory dinner at her home in the posh Malabar Hills in Bombay, I was very excited. It was my first experience of attending a formal dinner and that too in a luxurious flat.  At the party, when I saw the spread on the buffet table,  I went berserk. I started piling up my plate with all the delicious items on the table and started eating like a glutton, using my fingers. Suddenly, I found a hand gently pushing me to a corner and whispering in my ears, ` You are embarrassing me Rajan`. It was my lady boss in her best attire.  I did not know what wrong I had done. The food I was eating choked in my throat.  Completely shaken up, I quietly made an exit from her home, much to her relief, I guess. I was crying all the way back home because I was sure that I was going to be sacked from my dream job for not following some etiquette.

 The next morning, when I sheepishly walked into the office I found that my boss ignored me but did not sack me. Meanwhile, a good friend, who had seen what had happened the previous evening,  told me that my behaviour at the dining area was a bit uncouth. He volunteered to teach me the etiquettes to be followed in high society starting with how to dress  and  how I should use the fork, knife and spoon  etc.. Over a period of time I learnt quite a few lessons in etiquette.

Now, it was my turn to teach some etiquette to an old  friend from my chawl days when he came visiting  me in Chennai, where I had moved as a senior manager with an advertising agency , with a company car.   When I offered to give him  a lift in my car to go to  his next appointment, he was delighted. I was in the driver`s seat and when I asked him to get in,  he promptly got into the rear seat. When I requested him to come to the front he innocently remarked  ` Oh, I am very comfortable in the back seat`

I had to gently explain to him that etiquette demands that when a friend or a near & dear one is driving the car, you sit next to him/her. Only when an employee driver is driving can you sit in the rear seat and do backseat driving. Of course I did not tell him that some politicians, like the former nonageneraian Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu,  always preferred to sit in the front seat next to his driver. Fortunately, by doing so he was not breaking any etiquette!

This article has appeared in Adyar Times issue dt 10-16^th  June,2018 under my column `Rajan`s Random reflections`

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Eat `shamelessly`

 `Pandhikku Mundhu` , Padaikku Pindhu`- roughly translated,  this Tamil saying means` First  at a Feast and  the Last for a fight`. I am one of those who has been following the first part of the saying religiously whenever I attend a marriage or any other social gathering where a feast is being served. When the Muhurtham rituals are in progress I will discretely visit the dining area and find out the time when the catering team  would start serving the meals to the guests. At the appointed time I will position myself strategically so that when the door to the dining area opens I can occupy the corner seat closer to the service station, in the first row of the Hall. The idea being that when they start the service I would be the first to be served. Of course there are occasions when I would find that a few others have beaten me in the race  for the corner  seat.  Unfortunately, on many occasions the service would start from the corner seat in the opposite row with the result I would be the last to be served in that section of the `pandhi`. Imagine my utter disappointment, impatiently waiting  to be served the dishes.

I know of some senior relatives who would not proceed to the dining area unless the hosts personally invite them to do so. Some of them would even leave the marriage hall in a huff without partaking the meals, if the formality is not adhered to by the hosts. I have no such complexes. The reason why I try to occupy the first Pandhi is because I do not like to wait in a queue before entering the dining hall.  If there is no one to control the queue you will find the impatient guests getting in and waiting behind the chairs while people are still having their meals, putting enormous pressure on those guests to finish their meals early.  There would be someone who is not in a hurry to finish his or her meal, unconcerned that he or she is holding up the cleaning team from clearing the table so that a new Pandhi can be started. The moment seats are  vacated the waiting guests, irrespective of their social status,  will occupy the same, not even waiting for the cleaning team to clear the table. Who cares? Their seats are secure.

It is a different experience at the buffet meals offered at the marriage receptions held in the evenings. If you don`t enter the dining area early you will have to stand in long queues at the   counters. Some impatient guests can be seen jumping the queues much to the chagrin of the other guests. I am one of them. Since I have become very choosy about what I eat to look after my health, I first do a survey of the dishes on offer and decide on the couple of items I am going to eat.  Then I discreetly reach for them, breaking the queue with the permission of the people already in the queue who don`t mind accommodating  an old man in a hurry!

Invariably in most of the weddings,   representatives of the hosts go around  the dining hall requesting the guests  to eat well. In one of the weddings I was shocked to see a gentleman going around the Pandhi and telling guests to  `Eat shamelessly`. Later I realised that he was persuading guests to  `Eat well without feeling shy`.  In trying to show off his limited English vocabulary he had  literally translated  the Tamil equivalent into English!

This article appeared in the Adyar Times issue dt. 3-9^th June,2018, under my column Rajan`s random reflections

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