Are you a control freak?

I know my children think I am a control freak. Am I one? That got me thinking about my actions, which provoked them to call me a control freak.

Google says, `A control freak is obsessed with performing tasks in a way that he thinks is correct. He may also try to control how others perform tasks, even when there's no good reason to interfere`

When I am travelling in a car driven by another person I have a tendency to make some comments like;
“You are driving too fast, please go slow”
“Why don`t you take the other route go to the destination. I think it is shorter”
“ Why are you unnecessarily sounding the horn? There is no car in front”
“You jumped the signal. That is not right”
“ Don`t respond to the call on your mobile while driving”

In all the above situations and some more, I would be told “I have been driving cars for so many years. Don`t teach me how to drive”

I am an impatient man and someone who always thinks ahead. I have a tendency to offer unsolicited advice to my children whenever I feel that they are not doing something right or procrastinating. Invariably I would be snubbed, `Don`t keep controlling us Appa. We are not kids. We know what we are doing.”
I am sure senior citizens who are in their seventies and eighties must be used to getting such rebuffs from their children. I believe that almost everyone in this age group has a tendency to offer unsolicited advice.

In our younger days we never answered back our parents even if we felt that their advice on some issues was not warranted. We moved on, ignoring them. Times have changed.

With growing age I am becoming wiser. Apart from practicing the art of `detached attachment` with near and dear ones, I am also trying my best to control myself and not offer unnecessary advice to anyone. I am learning to keep my mouth shut, even when I am provoked to respond. As they say silence is golden!

Discover your hidden talents- Age no bar!

 My elder daughter Kavitha and her husband witnessed the special Onam programme staged at the meditation hall during their visit to Nana Nani, Phase 4 (NNP4), a senior citizen Home in Coimbatore where I am living now. She had earlier seen the videos of various entertainment programmes held at NNP4, which I share with my family. After seeing the latest programme on Ramayana, she commented, “Appa, you people seem to be having so much fun. I feel like moving to Nana Nani right away.” She is only 51.

That set me thinking. Is a senior citizen home only for seniors and super seniors, or can others in their fifties and early sixties also make such facilities their Homes? My quest led me to a young couple in their fifties who have been making waves in our community for the last few months, taking an active part in many of the entertainment programmes staged here. Meera is a talented dancer and singer, and her husband Krishna Kumar (KK) is an A/V expert. Here is their story.

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KK did his M.Sc (Maths) from IIT Chennai and M.Tech Computer Science from IIT Kharagpur . Starting his career as a Systems Analyst in TCS in 1991, he worked for 30 years in the Information Technology Industry working for quite a few IT companies, getting posted to different countries, managing big projects. His last stint before he called it a day was with HSBC, Buffalo, USA, as a Senior Management Consultant.

Meera did her schooling in Mumbai where she did her B.Com and diploma in Computer science. Both belonging to the Marathi speaking community in Tanjore got married in 1995 in an arranged marriage. KK was 28 and Meera 23. They started their married life in Chennai before KK`s career took them to different parts of the world.

KK says ,”During my career days, I was mostly confined to the corporate work culture, and did not have any time to take part in any stage shows” .

Meera had learnt Bharatha Natyam during her school days and used to actively participate in her school annual day functions. She was also part of a dance troupe in her residential complex in Bombay. There was a long gap when she did not participate in any programmes.

KK decided to call it a day in 2019 at the age of 52 and returned to Chennai, and started looking for a better place to settle down, where the weather would be better and the couple could enjoy a peaceful life. A friend recommended Nana Nani in Coimbatore. The experience of a brief stay in NNP4 convinced them that this is the place where they would like to settle down. Since they did not have any unfulfilled family responsibilities, they decided to get a rented accommodation in Phase 4 in May 2023. Both did not know that it was a move which would open up a new world where their hidden creative talents would come to the fore and they would embark on a journey full of fun activities.

Meera says, “ Immediately after we moved in here, I was pulled into one of the active cultural groups headed by Vidyaji ( Vidya Venktachalam- a popular organizer of dance based events). I was very hesitant at first but said okay to her. It was my first performance since I left school. The event was held in June2023 for the NNP4 Anniversary Celebrations. My performance on the stage was appreciated by all. Many thought I was a professional dancer . This motivated me to become a part of all dance programmes since then.

As regards my singing, Vijayaji ( Vijaya Rajagopal , another leader of programmes based on singing) one day invited me to her place to listen to a few people singing. But once there she coaxed me to sing. Everyone liked my voice. Encouraged by the team I sang the song `Vaseegara` from the film Minnale – my first attempt at using the Karaoke facility at a programme held in August,2024, became a big hit and people started calling me `Vaseegari Meera`. Now I have become a part of all singing programmes here. Recently I participated in a progamme on Ramayana conducted by Vijayaji in which I sang a few Hindi Bhakthi songs. This was also my first attempt.”

When I asked her about her role in `The Virtual Show - a unique idea combining dance, songs and a seven part comedy skit all presented in the form of videos interspersed with live anchoring by Vidya and Meera, this was her response.

“ The Virtual show was my first attempt at organising an event here with another talented resident Meena Kumari Sharma who had designed the Virtual Show. With my husband KK providing top quality audio /video support and many residents displaying their singing, dancing and acting talents ,the show got an overwhelming response from the audience”.

She continued,” I have participated in all the cultural events conducted by Vidyaji since I came here. I have also started assisting her in all events organized by the `The Dream Team`` in NNP4 consisting of Vidyaji, Usha Giridhar, my husband KK and myself”

There are many new ideas that the Dream Team is working on including the one for the New Year.

Looking at the high quality of A/V Presentations witnessed in these programmes, I thought KK was a trained audio/Visual expert. He surprised me with his answer.

“I was involved in a stage show for the first time only in Aug 2023 after coming to NNP4. I picked up the audio-visual presentation skills on my own after coming here. Since I had a firm background in the IT Industry it was easier for me to understand different technical aspects of AV presentations. Besides, both Meera and I are movie buffs who keenly observe how the scenes are shot in a movie, and pick up a few techniques from them as well. Every cultural program in NNP4 has its own technical challenges and I make sure I upgrade myself to meet those challenges and that is my passion as well”.

Having seen all the programmes since I moved into NNP4 I would say that KK`s role in taking them to great heights is significant. This young and popular couple is so busy participating in many cultural programmes here that they have no time for anything else.

I know that they are enjoying every moment judging by Meera`s Comments , “We did not choose NNP4, rather NNP4 has chosen us. To those who ask us why we have moved to a senior citizen home at such a young age, my answer is that such homes are ideal for people who want to lead a peaceful life after retirement . They also get opportunities to discover their hidden talents or pursue their passions for which they had no time earlier; encouraged by a supportive audience of friendly residents. Age does not matter here.”

Yes, any Senior Citizen Home which offers all the facilities required by seniors and has a vibrant and active community is an ideal `Home away from Home` for those who have fulfilled their family and other responsibilities, where one can lead a ` life without responsibilities`, and are aged above 50. Because all the Homes admit as residents only those who are 50 plus. Age does matter if you want to be a resident in Senior Citizen Home but It doesn`t matter for participating in all the fun and other spiritual activities in such Homes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Going for a walk in the swimming pool

 I have started going for a walk in the swimming pool as a part of my effort to reduce my tummy.

 Before I acquired a bulging tummy also known as a `paunch`, I was a thin guy. My waist was so slim that even a baby belt would not hold my pants in position. I used to wrap a piece of cloth around my waist and then pull up my pants to ensure that it did not slip down.

 All that changed during my stay at Murugan Lodge in Calcutta. I had spent three months in Calcutta during April-June,1964, undergoing training in advertising at the second largest advertising agency. During my stay as a trainee, I was also introduced to drinking beer. I was told that as an adman I would have to do a lot of entertaining and drinking alcohol was a prerequisite for a successful adman. My tryst with the bulging `Madhya Pradesh` started in Calcutta which eventually became an integral part of my body. In the early years, girls in my office used to call me `roly-poly`. My efforts to reduce the tummy over the years were not successful because of my inability to control my eating and drinking habits.

 Now that I am settled in a senior citizen home and living a more disciplined life without junk food, going for regular walks, and practicing Chair Yoga, I thought my tummy would start shrinking. No luck so far.

 A couple of months ago I attended a meeting where a Sports Physiotherapist was giving a talk on ` Ideal exercises for senior citizens`. When I asked for tips to reduce the tummy, he advised me to have only vegetable soup every evening with no other solid food for 45 days. He guaranteed me that at the end of the said period, though my weight may not be reduced,  all my pants would become loose, signifying a shrunken tummy that I would have to alter my pants. I always listen to good advice and practiced what the Physio preached. At the end of three months, I find that there is no sign of the tummy shrinking and I still find it difficult to pick up things from the floor.

 While I was feeling dejected another friend suggested that I try walking in the swimming pool and perform specific `aquatic exercises` which would not only relieve me of several age-related pains I suffer below the waist, but  also help me in reducing my tummy. Since a mini swimming pool is a part of the facility available in the senior citizen home where I am staying, I have started going for a walk in  the swimming pool every morning. And practicing the exercises that my friend has taught me. It has been 10 days since I started this routine. I am enjoying the experience. This time will I win my battle with the `Bulge`. Only time can tell.

 

Dignity Foundation- for Elder Care with Dignity

The Chennai Chapter of Dignity Foundation (DF) which celebrated its silver jubilee last year has been winning the Best Chapter award for four  years in a row. I have been a member of DF for over 15 years, and I am very impressed with the dedication and commitment shown by the staff in the Chennai Chapter to elder care which has helped them achieve this feat.

Before I go into the activities of the Chennai Chapter a quick recap of the origin of DF.

Founded in 1995, by Dr. Sheilu Sreenivasan, Dignity Foundation an NGO aims to change the way people look at ageing in India. The story behind what made

Mrs Sreenivasan start DF makes for interesting reading (see the box). It started with Dignity Dialogue, India’s longest-running senior citizen magazine with a circulation of 20,000. Dignity Dialogue magazine gave birth to Dignity Foundation whose aim is for elders to age productively and live their golden years with Dignity. Started in Bombay DF now has chapters in Delhi, Calcutta, Chennai, Bangalore, Pune, Hyderabad. A new chapter was started in Coimbatore recently. Activities of Dignity Foundation are funded by member fees and donations from Corporates through their CSR programs. The Foundation is governed by a Board of Trustees.

 

Dignity Dialogue was followed by Dignity Chai Masti Centers (CMCs)where senior citizens meet, bond and explore their talents. With 30 vibrant centers across 8 cities in India, CMCs offer regular sessions for wellness, entertainment, recreation and hobby cultivation, keeping the members active and engaged. What started as physical activities at offices of the chapters is now available also as online (zoom) sessions to those who prefer virtual participation from the comfort of their homes.

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Dementia Day Care Centre is another important service offered by the Foundation which provides a safe and stimulating environment for people living with Dementia. This service, offered for a fee, offers crucial respite for caregivers, reducing their physical and emotional stress. It is an ideal solution for working couples who have dementia patients at home. This service is available in Mumbai, Pune, Chennai, New Delhi and Kolkata. At the Centers, members receive compassionate care by trained caregivers along with therapies to delay the progression of Dementia.

 

Anand Daan is a service under which DF identifies senior citizens who are genuinely needy in the slums of cities, providing free monthly ration kits to them creating food security.

 

Under Dignity Care, DF runs Day Care centers, Loneliness Mitigation centers and Dementia Care centers as a free service to poor seniors living in slums of cities. Right now, such centers are functioning in Bengaluru, Chennai and Mumbai.

 

DF also runs, under a separate trust, an assisted residential facility at Neral, near Mumbai.

 

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The Chennai Chapter was started in 1998 based on the request of readers of Dignity Dialogue in Chennai. Initially the activities were related to the magazine. Monthly gatherings to celebrate the cover personality were the beginning of Chennai’s initiatives. It gradually grew into other services to senior citizens, like companionship to lonely elders, helpline for rescue of abused senior citizens, and CMC’s (Tehneer Arangams) providing some form of entertainment and opportunities  for daily bonding .

Sheilu Srieeivasan, the founder of DF says, “The year 2016 was a turning point in the growth of the Chennai Chapter when Felista Jose joined as the Chapter Manager. Under her dynamic leadership ably supported by a strong advisory council headed by Mrs.Sundara Gopalan and the philanthropic N C Krishnaswamy, the chapter started flying the Dignity flag high, leading to the grand Silver Jubilee Celebrations of the Chapter last year”

Felista says, “In 2016 and 2017, we launched a project titled Wellbeing Enhancement aimed at improving the lives of underprivileged senior citizens in five slums of Chennai: Kannagi Nagar, Saidapet, Srinivasapuram, Dooming Kuppam, and Nochi Kuppam. This initiative reached approximately 4,500 elders.”

 The Dementia Day care center started in Chennai in 2004 has now 25 members attending the center daily. A trained social worker is responsible for coordinating center`s activities and  its smooth functioning. The services provided at the center are daily bus service to pick up and drop, good nutrition, simple yoga, a range of therapies like: Occupational therapy, Physiotherapy, Recreational therapy and Cognitive therapy conducted by professionals. The center provides a safe secure setting, constantly encouraging members into activities to keep them alert all the time.

According to Mr. Sabarinathan, son of Mrs. Geetha with fronto-temporal dementia, the family was finding it difficult to  handle her behaviour.

“After trying out various options, we were referred to Dignity Dementia Day Care centre. Mother liked the environment very much. Being at the day care centre, participating in various activities, was far more effective than all the medicines she was taking. I have visited many such centres, and I find the dedication of the staff at Chennai DDC to be the best”

At present, the monthly fee charged by DF per patient in Chennai is Rs.15,000, which covers patient pick-up and drop-off services, morning and evening tea accompanied by refreshments, lunch, and all therapy services.

As a part of strengthening the Centre and extending the activities to more people, branches of the Chennai Chapter were started in Mylapore and Tiruvanmiyur in 2018 which has helped in growing the number of members attending the Centre .

A day care centre was started on 20^th January,2020 at Mullaima Nagar, a slum, with ambitious plans. The announcement of the lockdown and the pandemic forced the centre to be closed immediately. But that did not stop the Chennai Team from reaching the beneficiaries. It was during the pandemic that the Chennai team came out with flying colours.

Felista says, “Despite the closure of the Centre we established a group known as the "Corona Safety Senior Citizens Group," Our team consisting of 15 outreach workers with 1 field supervisor conducted 11 IEC awareness programmes  to propagate and strengthen the practices of social distancing, masking and demonstrating the correct hand wash practices through  a range of activities such as Street Play, Mega Signature Campaign, Vehicle Awareness programs, Street painting, Villu paatu (Musical storytelling), Awareness Rally, Kolattam (Traditional folk dance). This initiative was greatly appreciated by the members”

SUPPORT FOR THE HOMELESS SHELTERS FOR THE ELDERLY IN CHENNAI project was launched in  2022 in collaboration with Greater Chennai Corporation to facilitate the improvement of the quality and services provided to about 200 needy senior citizens in their existing old age shelter homes in Vepery, Perambur and Royepettah .

Apart from getting  nutritious food and counselling service the inmates also receive geriatric healthcare  through different  activities like fitness classes, art and craft session, laughing therapy, basic literacy and numeracy classes.Recently the chapter has also added slums in Mannady under this intervention programme.

While the poor people in slums were being looked after the team also kept the activities of the Centre for regular members going through zoom (online) meetings with interesting programmes five days a week, Monday through Friday. The subjects ranged from musical evenings, fitness talks, active aging yoga, and many more which kept the members glued to their mobile or laptop, every evening. Thanks to the zoom facility those members who were unable to come to the centre because of distance and travel constraints were able to participate  in meetings. On October 5^th, 2020, the chapter resumed operations at the Centre, which is open from 9 AM to 5 PM. Thanks to hybrid meetings these days  the average daily attendance has gone up to  75 members.

 

Commenting on the zoom meetings T.C.Ragupathy an active member of the Chennai Chapter says, “Regular contacts through Zoom helped  us bond with each other besides giving  us a chance to show our skills in singing, sharing experiences, etc. It is like ‘meet from home’ on the lines of ‘work from home’. This is one more feather in DF’s cap”.

 

The Chennai Chapter members are also  encouraged to participate in large numbers in the All-India Events organised by the Head Office every year.

 

In the last few years, I have witnessed the dedicated staff of the Chennai Chapter regularly coming with innovative ideas, such as intergenerational programs, to engage the members and help in bringing to limelight their hidden talents, which has resulted in the creation of an extended family of members. The enthusiasm and energy of these members at all events is to be seen to be believed. In old age friends are important and getting new friends through Dignity Foundation, in the absence of other avenues for some members, has made their lives interesting and enjoyable.

 

The Chennai chapter managed by a Chapter Head Felista and Deputy Manager Merita and a staff of 13 trained professionals, richly deserve the recognition they have been getting as the best chapter for the last few years, for not only taking care of the paying members, but also for their dedicated service to underprivileged senior citizens in the community.

Those interested in becoming members of Dignity Tehneer Arangams, subscribe to Dignity Dialogue or support the chapter with donations can contact Felsita – 9840395943 or email -felista.jose@dignityfoundation.com

 

                                                                    In the Box                                  

                              The story behind the origin of Dignity Foundation.

It was July 1994 Dr. Sheilu Sreenivasan the founding President of DF was on her return flight from New York to Mumbai with a stopover at Frankfurt. As she was getting down the aircraft and walking towards the security area, she saw two airport ground staff approaching her. As she was wearing a saree, they had rightly identified her as an Indian. She was requested to accompany them to meet someone who could not speak any language other than ‘Indian’. They took her to a lady clad in a white saree, sitting in a wheelchair, face distraught and blabbering rather loudly. The moment she saw Sheilu she instantly caught hold of her hands and didn’t let go for the next 3 hours. The reality was that she had been abandoned by her family in the airport washroom at Frankfurt. The lady`s handbag had no passport, no ticket, no money – the family did not leave any trace of her identity. The lady must have been talking in Sindhi which Sheilu could not understand but she could make out that it was her son Munna who left her in the lurch. The German ground staff requested Sheilu to go along with them to admit the lady in a shelter home and return on time for her flight to Mumbai.

Sheilu says, “The trauma of leaving her behind, totally distraught, remained etched in my mind.  It was then that the social worker in me decided: I will work and live for the elderly for the rest of my life. I started the Dignity Foundation in 1995 in Mumbai to enable senior citizens get rid of these insecurities and lead a life of dignity, security, fulfilment and filled with joy”

(Dr. Sheilu Sreenivasan holds an MA in Psychiatric Social Work from Madras University and a Ph.D. in Sociology from Mumbai University. After giving years to research and publishing, she has dedicated the past 29 years to the relentless delivery of elder care services at the grassroot level across India for which she won the Amazing Indian Award 2022 for the Slum Care Category from Times Now, one of the many recognitions she has got over the years.).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY FIRST (THALA) DEEPAVALI IN NANA NANI

 Many people get up very early on the day of Diwali to go through the morning rituals and have `ganga snanam`  before sunrise. Every day is  Diwali for me as I get up at 4 am and go through my morning rituals ending up with Chair Yoga between 6.00 and 6.45 am and a walk afterward.  I don`t have my daily `snanam` before  9 am.  Yesterday I skipped my morning walk, had my `Ganga snanam` before 7.am, wore a new veshti and a shirt presented to me by my Sambandhi on my birthday,  finished my puja rituals and had a  sumptuous breakfast in the first batch, meeting and greeting friends. The chole bhature was so heavy that I didn’t feel hungry the whole day despite having the legiyam served at the BF. Then I visited the temple to attend the special Diwali pooja. After a long time, I was visiting a temple on the Diwali day and staying till the Deeparadhanai.  It was a very soul satisfying experience.

Then came lunchtime. I went for the second batch. The first time I saw the dining hall was more than full to capacity that the kitchen staff had to have a third batch to accommodate the residents who could not find a place in the second batch. An unusual number of guests present could be the reason, I thought. Since the management had already served a Diwali special meal earlier, the menu was nothing special, except the addition of a sweet.

But the surprise was the free-wheeling dance to recorded music by the ever-enthusiastic and energetic ladies,  both young and old.  Led by the `mover and shaker team` of  Phase 4, Vidya  Venkatachalam and Meera Kumar , performed in front of the dining hall.  It was an interesting way to celebrate Diwali. I enjoyed watching the spirited show put by the ladies.

After some rest, I visited the Shirdi Saibaba ( Naga Sai ) temple at Saibaba Colony, as I normally do every Thursday. After a good darshan and visiting some friends, I returned in time to watch the fireworks organized by the management outside the entrance gate in the company of many residents seated in chairs or standing.  The prevalent festival spirit was palpable.

I returned home to watch the TV to see how Diwali was celebrated in the rest of the country when around 8.30 pm Tata Sky failed. Within a few minutes, I found the cracker noise completely stopped.  When I went to my veranda to check the reason, I found it was raining heavily. Obviously, the rain god had decided to restrict the noise and smoke pollution, even before the deadline imposed by the authorities

On the whole, it was an action-packed Diwali in Phase 4 - a `happening  place` where some activity or the other keeps happening to keep the residents engaged. I was happy that my `Thala Diwali`in my new home was a memorable event thanks to the friendly residents who ensured that I did not miss my family back home in Chennai.

 

Hearing Aids or Diamond Earrings?

Hearing aids are becoming necessary for senior citizens who continue leading active lives as I discovered two decades ago when I was in my early sixties. My association with Wan -IFRA, a

newspaper body with headquarters in Germany used to take me to Frankfurt every year to attend the Annual meeting of all the Country Heads for a review meeting. Thirty managers from different parts of the world would be seated around a rectangular conference table in the conference hall. There would be no public address system. While I could hear speakers with

loud and clear voices, I found it extremely difficult to hear anyone with a soft voice. Sometimes during a discussion, the Chairman of the meeting would ask me about my opinion on issues raised by some speakers whom I could not hear. It was embarrassing to tell the chair that I had no opinion as I could not hear the speaker.

I had no problem in India, as we use the public address system for meetings with less than 25 people. After I faced the problem in Germany on a couple of occasions I decided to go to an ENT specialist who referred me to an audiologist who recommended Siemens hearing aid. Those days expensive hearing aids using high-end digital technology were yet to make an appearance. I went for an inexpensive set which was not very effective. As soon as I wore the hearing aids the first sound I would hear would be the `Caw.. Caw` of the crows followed by other noises drowning the voices of the people I was conversing with. For this very reason many senior citizens do not wear hearing aids and continue to live with the hearing problem much to the annoyance of the near and dear ones. I have seen several movies in which the scriptwriters have exploited this problem to provide some fun moments. Let me tell you that it is no fun being hard of hearing.

Research has shown that one of the causes of depression in senior citizens is the hearing problem. When they find that they are hard of hearing and hearing aids are not giving them the expected solution, they tend to withdraw themselves and avoid socializing for fear of making fools of themselves. Idle mind is the devil`s workshop and such people lapse into self-pity and depression.

Today hearing aids using high-end digital technology are available which not only eliminate unnecessary sounds but give precise tuning of the system to suit every user. I found this out

seven years ago when someone recommended me an American brand of hearing aid called `Starkey`. When I wear this brand of hearing aids not only am I able to hear people talking to me but also can hear the voices of people talking away from me. I feel very confident in engaging in any conversation individually or at meetings. This has improved my confidence level. Without hearing aids I am as good as deaf.

Such hearing aids, however, are expensive. They cost a bomb. Each piece can cost anywhere from Rs.50,000 to a few lakhs. Mine cost me Rs.1,00,000 each. I tell people in jest that I am

wearing `Vaira Thodu` (diamond earrings). If you want to lead a quality life and if you can afford it, do not hesitate to go for such hearing aids.

One warning. If your hearing faculty is very low, even the most expensive hearing aids will not

be of any use.

A postponed Trip

 I had planned this short trip from 9^th to 14^th October to Chennai, primarily to attend my late mother`s 24<sup>th</sup> anniversary (shrardham) and the marriage reception of a friend`s son. My return flight was booked for Monday 14^th October afternoon.  A friend suggested that I postpone my return by a day so that I could attend an important event hosted by the well-known writer Sivasankari in Chennai.  It was being held to confer the Surya Award to a socially conscious and award-winning writer Ambai and the Akshara Award to another writer Nagarathinam  Krishna under the auspices of  Sivasankari Chandrasekaran  Charities.  Sivasankari, in her welcome address, called it a dream come true project for her. The Award consisted of a substantial cash prize, a memento, and a citation.

 Since I have great regard for both Sivsanakari and Amabai who are also my well-wishers I postponed my return trip by a day without losing any money as Indigo does not charge anything for one postponement. However, as there was repeated news from the authorities about  Chennai getting heavy rains between the 14^th and 16^th of October, I was worried about its likely impact on my return trip. Though there was no rain during the day on the 14^th, as I was nearing the hotel where the function was being held it started pouring and I became anxious about the possibility of my home being surrounded by water. So while I attended the well-organised function,  with the Governor of Tamil Nadu as the Chief guest, and met a lot of friends from the Tamil literary world, I decided to return home without attending the dinner following the meeting. To my surprise the rain had stopped and I had no problem reaching home. Until 9.30 am the following day (15^th) it was raining in fits and bursts without any water logging in front of my home. I booked a taxi at 11 am to take me to the airport.

Around 9.30 am the Varuna Bhagwan decided to prove the weathermen right by coming down heavily accompanied by lightning and thunder.  Within one hour my home was surrounded by water. The water level started rising and I shuddered at the possibility of the water entering my home. as it usually happens every year. One of the reasons I had decided to move to Coimbatore was that I did not want to face another flooding of my home.

In the meanwhile the taxi driver called to say that though the roads were flooded, he would `somehow` take me to the airport provided I agreed to pay him three times the normal fare.   Since there was the possibility of the flight being canceled or postponed indefinitely because of bad weather and on the advice of the family I decided to cancel the trip. My travel agent informed me that the cancellation at the last minute would mean that I would not get any refund.  I said my safety and security were more important than the monetary loss. I also have no regrets about postponing my trip and the loss of money as I got the opportunity to greet both Sivasankari and Ambai in person.

As I have always believed in the saying that `everything happens for the good `I am waiting for some good reason why the lord above made me postpone my trip. Om Sairam

PS. Though the water around my home has receded completely overnight, the possibility of more heavy rains from this afternoon is keeping me on tenterhooks. However, the Tamil Nadu weatherman`s forecast that the cyclonic depression has moved away from Chennai and is on its way to AP, gives me some hope. God willing, I plan to be back in Coimbatore this Saturday.

Nostalgia- Navarathri Golu

My daughter Kavitha`s recent post on her FB page showing pictures of the grand Golu she has arranged this year with the Ramayana theme triggered memories of the simple Golu that my mother used to arrange in the small one-room tenement (250 sq.ft) at the Chawl in Bombay where we were living.

 A few weeks before the start of the Navarathri celebrations she would pull out all empty tins and other containers stored in a small loft above the `Mori` (washroom)in the house. The day before the start of the Kolu she would clear half of the front portion of the house which was both the drawing room cum bedroom. She would start placing the empty containers and other items which could help her assemble a five steps `Golu padi`. This would be covered with a white cloth and some colourful festoons to make the arrangement attractive. Then she would pull out the boxes containing different kinds of dolls, mostly featuring different idols of popular gods, and arrange them neatly on the steps ensuring that dolls conveying a particular theme were displayed in the same padi (step). Dolls featuring different characters in Ramayana would occupy one step and another would feature a potbellied trader, popular as Chettiar, with all his wares. She would make a special effort to dress two -one-foot-high `Marapachi` dolls of a man and woman made in rosewood, appropriately attired to occupy either end of the top step, displaying all the comparatively bigger dolls. The dolls would become smaller as she came down the steps.

 One of the important items on display in front of the steps would be a small pond assembled using a round plate with water. She would pack the sides with mud and sow some `Nava dhanyam` on the first day. These would start sprouting leaves that would grow bigger every day of the nine days of the Golu. As a teenager and eldest in the family, I would assist my mother in making the arrangements. My main contribution was to make a small garden in a corner featuring small dolls of trees, birds and animals. At the centre would be a small hut made of cardboard and paper. One particular year I managed to light up the hut with a battery operated bulb, which became a hit among the visitors, consisting mainly of ladies in the chawl complex.

Since the room was small my mother would invite a fixed number of ladies for receiving the `vethalai pakku` ( Haldi -Kumkum )and prasadam. The children in the community would visit our home every day to get the different tasty prasadams mother would prepare. On the ninth day, the Saraswathi puja would be celebrated with the display of some of our school books and a few other items to represent ayudha pooja. On the tenth day ( Vijaya Dasami) after the puja, the books would be removed and we would be asked to read something to denote `Vidyarambam`.

 On the whole, while it was backbreaking work for my mother managing the house and taking care of the festivities related to the Navarathri celebrations, it was a fun time for the children, although there was no place for grown-up children like me to sleep inside the house, on those ten days. I had to find a suitable place, along with children with similar space problems, in the common passage or the terrace of the building to sleep.

Considering the kind of high-tech grand Golus that are arranged these days, it was a simple Golu which brought great joy to all those participating in the festivities.

 

The wheelchair and me

 In the last couple of years, I don't feel confident traveling alone when I go out of the station.  The reason -the anxiety syndrome that I have developed because of tripping and falling a couple of times. Fortunately,  so far I have survived with minimum or no collateral damage.

While I don`t mind traveling long distances by cars driven by call drivers,  train journeys are definitely a `no.. no` for me because of the long distances one has to walk with baggage in hand, climb steep stairs sometimes,  and the nightmare of using the toilets in a moving & undulating train. Even for travel by air, I used to prefer a friend or a family member to accompany me as it happened a couple of times last year. Besides, I also find it difficult to stand in one place ( like in queuing ) for a long time

In December last year when I was visiting Coimbatore to follow up on a lead I got about getting an apartment in Nana Nani, I found that there was no one to accompany me on the flight to Coimbatore.  So, reluctantly I decided to use the wheelchair service offered by Indigo. Since It was the first time I was using the wheelchair I was self-conscious and imagined that every other guy was staring at me. I went through the check-in and security process, physically helped by the Indigo staff, and reached the Departure gate within 15 minutes of arriving at the airport. I decided that henceforth  I will opt for the wheelchair service whenever  I travel by air.

Every time I am checked in, the girl at the check-in counter personally brings the boarding pass, and gently enquires about the reason why I was opting for a wheelchair before handing over the same to me.  I felt cared for and secure,  traveling alone. I know most of the seniors who travel abroad use this service during their international travels.

 A few days ago when  I was traveling by Indigo from Coimbatore to Chennai,  when the girl asked me the usual question, I decided, in keeping with my policy of making at least one person happy every day,  to be generous with my praise of the wheelchair service of Indigo and how it has made me travel alone with confidence.  The girl requested me to record my comments on their feedback app and opened the app for me.  Suddenly I found myself surrounded by all the check-in counter staff, as they did not have a long line of passengers waiting to check-in. After I finished recording I found a senior staff member presenting me with a  thank you note which contained the following line: `When you bring joy to others, you receive more joy in return`. I was pleasantly surprised that this is what I tell people all the time and recorded it in detail in my article titled `Joy of Giving`. The staff insisted on taking a group photo with me (attached)

 I was delighted that I had made more than one person happy that day. My day was Made!.

 

 

A Hectic Weekend in Chennai

It was a hectic weekend in Chennai. I planned this trip mainly to participate in the function organised by my friend R.T Chari, on 1^st September at Tag Centre, to launch the Biography of Ramakrishna Raja, which I have authored. The news of my visit to Chennai resulted in my receiving invitations to participate in other events. I arrived in Chennai on the evening of 28^th August. As I reached home my son who was waiting for me took me to Sishya School to attend the Junior School Day function where my grandson Thavam was a part of the dance performance by the children of the first standard.  It was  fun to watch the two dozen kids doing their best to impress the audience.

The first meeting I attended on the 29th evening was the one hosted by Kuvikam ( a Tamil Literary group) to distribute the prizes for the winners of the Sivasankari Short Story Competition, where Sivasankari herself was the chief guest. It was a pleasure meeting some eminent Tamil writers at the meeting. This was immediately followed by a dinner of 41 Club 7 (ex-Tablers) at Madras Club, which coincided with the official visit of the President of 41 Club, India. I had to give a brief talk on the history of the club. The delicious dinner  hosted by Narsi & Mridula was preceded by `fellowsip`. An enjoyable evening!

 30^th August, witnessed a small private get-together to celebrate my 82^nd birthday attended by my family and a few close friends. My Sambandhi Naresh delighted the small crowd with his command on the harmonica. The highlight of the evening was the rendering of the song on  lord Ganesa by Thavam accompanied by his sister  Bakthi. Thavam charmed the audience with his lovely voice and his ability to sing in both high and low octaves. It was interesting to watch Bakthi trying to keep pace with her brother. God bless them.

On 31^st evening I was the chief guest at the 57^th Charter night of Madras West Round Table no 10 of which I was a member between 1974 and 1982 and Chairman during 1978-79. The event was held at the   Flying Elephant Restaurant of Park Hyatt Hotel, Guindy. The open atmosphere and dim lighting did not inspire me. Frankly, I was not in my elements giving the motivational talk, I gave that evening. However, that did not stop the dynamic and youthful members of the club from presenting me with a fantastic memento, thanking me for my contribution to the Round Table movement in India.

On the same day,  early in the evening, I had the pleasure of meeting  Shri Indira Parthasarathy, a well-known writer and a Sahithya Academy Award winner at a Senior Citizen Home in Chennai. I presented him a copy  of my biography on Ramakrishna Raja which was being released the following day. Indira Parthasarathy had given the Foreword for my book of short stories. At 95, though physically weak, his mind is still sharp. It was amazing to see him quote from our scriptures effortlessly in response to a query from a friend who accompanied me. I must thank my friend Chari for arranging this memorable meeting.

I have already reported about the book launch on 1^st September in an earlier post. What was the icing on the cake was the six-column report on the book release function in the Hindu following day.  It made my day!

All these activities coupled with the opportunity to connect with my walking friends every morning was enough to recharge my battery. Besides, the cloudy skies with occasional showers made the weather in Chennai tolerable. Hope it continues like this for the rest of my stay in Chennai. I am planning to return to Coimbatore on 10^th September.

In the last six months since I moved to Coimbatore, this is the third time I am visiting Chennai. Two months of relaxed life at Nana Nani in Coimbatore followed by two week of hectic life  in Chennai has ensured that I am having the best of both worlds. As long as I am healthy and able to travel, I intend to follow this routine,  to keep me going. 

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My 12th book released

A biography of Ramakrishna Raja, a tall leader in the Rotary world and a Past Treasurer of the Music Academy, authored by me, was released yesterday ( 1st September) at a packed Tag Auditorium by N.Murali, Director of the Hindu and President of Music academy. The first copy was received by Mr Laxman, Chairman of the Rane group. R.T Chari of the Tag who sponsored both the book and the event, PDG Nagoji Natarajan, and Mrs Prema Srinivasan spoke on the occasion. It was my 12th book in 15 years, covering the 8th genre of writing.

I have done condensed versions of biographies of nine eminent personalities of Chennai and bio sketches of scores of Chennai–based achievers – all published in Madras Musings and released as a book titled `Bright Stars in the Chennai Sky` two years ago. However, I had not attempted a full biography of another eminent personality. I thank my friend R.T. Chari, a close friend of Raja's, who sponsored both the book and the event, and Raja’s family for allowing me to write Raja's biography.

The book is divided into five parts: Ram`s Early Years, Ram as a Quintessential Family Man, Ram - a Cherished Friend, Ram with Music Academy and other institutions, and Ram in Rotary as a Supreme Mentor.

When you finish reading the book, you will realize what a great human being Raja was. He touched the life of anyone he came in contact with. His advice was sought by many eminent people in business, and he was a mentor, nay a supreme mentor, for many PDGs in our Rotary District. He was as popular with every one of his family members as he was with others. He was a rare human being—a gentleman to the core—a complete Gentleman!

So `Ramakrishna Raja – A complete Gentleman` is the title of the book. Designed and printed by Compuprint, It is a thin book with only 100 plus pages packed with interesting anecdotes from Raja`s life which you can read in one sitting.

Once again I thank Chari and the family for giving me the opportunity to write the story of a great Rotarian and friend.