Growing up in a chawl in Bombay, I remember there was no time for me to get bored. There was some activity or another happening in the building complex for all age groups. I was kept busy with friends from my age group playing some games in the building complex or at the nearby Matunga Gymkhana. I would come back from school, throw the schoolbag in one corner, partake of whatever tiffin mother gave me and off I went to play with friends. No worry about security. My parents worried about me if I did not return home before the appointed time. In my case, it was 7.00 pm. Living in a chawl was like living in a big joint family. We lacked the basic conveniences we take for granted these days, but life was fun then. We learned to manage many of our problems ourselves without the involvement of parents. The constant social interaction with friends in the community helped us. Parenting was not as challenging as it is today.
Times have changed
drastically. Nuclear families have replaced joint families. While gated
communities provide some security and opportunities for social interaction,
stand-alone apartments where many nuclear families live, there is less
interaction among neighbours. Bringing up children has become a humongous task
for parents. Security concerns prevent parents from allowing their children to
move freely. Though mobiles and the internet help them keep their children
busy, the gadgets have their negative aspects as well. Today, it is not
surprising to see many children in their teens, exposed to social media,
showing signs of depression.
`Preteens who spend
more time on social media may be at greater risk for depression, according to a
US study published in JAMA Network open,` as reported in the Health
supplement of one of the issues of The WEEK magazine
To ensure that this
does not happen, parents have to see that their children are engaged in some
physical or mental activity. Interaction with other children in the community
or outside, by inviting them home or arranging for their children to visit
their friends' homes to play, helps. Encouraging such children to participate
in one sports activity ( badminton, table tennis, cricket or football,
etc.) and one creative activity ( music, dance, drawing, etc) or anything
else in which the child shows interest would also help them develop their
inherent talents. Such children turn out to be confident kids, full of life. I
am witnessing this in the case of my son`s two kids. My daughter-in-law gave up
her job to concentrate on the two kids, a son and a daughter. She is exposing
them regularly to many new ideas and games and encouraging them to be creative.
While she spends a lot of time with them, my son tries to keep them engaged
during weekends. They also try to keep a check or even control the use of smart
phones or other electronic gadgets by the kids.
If the parents show
enough understanding of their children`s problems, be available to them
whenever they want them, and learn to trust them, children will respond
positively. In other words, be a trusted friend to your kids. At least
one of the parents should assume that role! If that happens, not only with the
children never get bored, but there is very little possibility of such children
becoming depressed.
