Kavitha- a bundle of talent!

Kavitha is fifty! I can`t believe it. Kavitha- my first child was born on 2nd March 1973, within 13 months of my marriage with Prabha. She was a small dusky baby with lovely eyes and lots of hair. A friendly baby, she was full of fun and quick to learn anything. By the time she was 6 months, she started talking and by 8 months, she was walking. She was only one year old when she was repeating the slokas that my mother taught her. What a joy she brought to the family,

Over the years  Kavitha has turned out to be a very creative person. We discovered her rare talent during one of her school functions. Sishya had a Project Day every year (it still does), where senior classes are  given a topic, and students of the class are expected to study and present the same in the form of charts and mock-ups, This is done at an exhibition to which the parents are also invited. As part of a project, Kavitha was given the responsibility of making a model of a Cathedral, based on a paper cutting with a black and white picture of the Cathedral. She was only 13 then. Without any background or training in the subject, she prepared a very realistic  model (the type the architects prepare) using cardboard, paper mache and  colored glass paper for windows to give the effect of stained glass. It was fantastic and became the talk of the school that year!

 

I realized that my daughter was growing to become a powerhouse of talent— what ten fingers could do, be it painting, cartooning, Tanjore painting, cloth dolls, you name it, and she could do it. She did all these based on sheer instinct and a natural flair. As the creative genius in the family, she would be highly critical of her own efforts and sought perfection in whatever she did— the hallmark of a true artist!

 

Prabha and I started encouraging her by providing the materials she required to work on her talent. I remember returning from a trip to the USA with Prabha in 1988, we had one bag full of materials required by Kavitha to pursue her hobbies.

 

Her inherent talent was honed at Stella Mary`s college and she passed out with a Gold Medal in Fine Arts from Madras University. Unfortunately, both  Prabha & I could not attend her graduation ceremony to see our talented daughter getting recognition as we were out of station. However, the whole family was proud of her.  My father who attended the ceremony on behalf of the family was literally jumping with joy at Kavitha`s achievement. I still deeply regret that Prabha and I were not there at this important event. How disappointed Kavitha must have felt!

 

An early marriage to RU (with `Raja Kalai` as my late father described him on the engagement day) witnessed her  becoming a part of an extended family who showered on her  their love and affection in abundance. At the wedding, almost all the guests felt that RU & Kavitha looked like `made for each other  couple`. They continue to be popular couple in their social circles. Kavitha is lucky to have a husband who has encouraged her to pursue her many dreams  that she has evolved over the years as a multifaceted personality.

 

With  Creativity, Empathy, Communication, Team Management & Planning as her strengths, I find that she is trying to make effective use of her skills to make an impact in every organization she is associated with. Kavitha has really come a long way  since her early days as a talented artist.

Because of her soft-spoken &  friendly nature and willingness to help anyone needing help, she is very popular among her social circles. I feel thrilled every time I hear good things about her in the company of common friends. Most recently the welcome address that she gave at two of the family functions I had organized has come in for much praise for the confidence and poise with which she delivered the talks.

I am also proud of her ability to face the toughest and often very daunting situations, which have been plenty in her life,  with a cool head and confidence and coming out of every problem with her head held high.

With a supportive husband and intelligent and talented kids, Arul (26) and Nila (20) with right values, she is a blessed person with divine grace and elders' blessings. I am sure Prabha is watching her from heaven and is equally proud of her first daughter`s achievements.

On her landmark golden  Birthday, I pray to god to bestow good health on Kavitha so that she continues to realize many of her dreams in life.

Hinges of friendship never rust

As I have mentioned in my autobiography,  membership in Round Table India, a youth organization with similar objectives like Rotary opened up a whole new world to me when I was 26. I joined  Bombay West Round table no.6 in Bombay(1968-71), later shifted to Delhi Round table no.5 (71-74), and finally landed at Madras West Round Table no.10 in 1974. Truly an All-India Tabler. I took to the Round table like a duck to water. Over the next  16 years, I not only got actively involved with the activities of the Assn at the national level but also got the Distinguished Service Award from the association, one of the first two-floor tablers to win this coveted recognition, for my role in helping with the  Round Table House project, a dream project of Bob Chandran of CBE.

 As an active member of MWRT 10, I made some close friends whose friendship I continue to enjoy even today- thanks to 41 Club no 7, a club of predominantly ex-members of Table 10. One of the most active 41 clubs in India, the club ensures that the  `hinges of friendship we made during Round table days, never rust`- which is the basic objective of 41 Clubs of India an association of ex-tablers across India. We meet regularly every month. The meetings are hosted by members in public facilities or their homes. Club members contribute a small sum as their share of the expenditure.

It is a meet-and-greet fellowship opportunity and a fun evening where members spend time going down memory lane.  Over the years we have lost some important members to old age-related health issues. However, we continue to invite the spouses of such members as special invitees to our get-togethers.

The Feb.,23, dinner was hosted by a group of five special invitees ( Sangeeth Chopra, Gita Mehtras, Venu Kesu,  Hema Krishnan, and Usha Sudhir) at the spacious residence of Sangeeth Chopra, the charming spouse of the ever-popular (late)Inder Chopra ably supported by the son (Rahul) and daughter in law (Anu) of Venu Kesu. The evening had the touch of ladies in the way it was meticulously planned and executed.  Floral decorations with small `Diyas` in the center were placed on all the tables. A live band was singing retro film songs in Tamil & Hindi. A special bar counter with a variety of spirits was there to raise the spirits of members.

The meeting also witnessed  Rani Ananth spouse of C.S Ananth,  briefly describing her life story and Gopi sharing a recent medical emergency he faced. There were mandatory birthday & wedding anniversary greetings by President Ganesh Kini who also briefly outlined the recent activities conducted at the Area Meet. As a token of appreciation, the hosts were also presented with special gifts. Some members took over the mike from the band and belted out songs they knew. There was also some dancing by the ladies.

A well-known caterer was in attendance serving a variety of delicious starters – both veg. and nonveg. They were so delicious that most of the members made a meal of the starters that they could not do justice to the main dinner fare offered later, as it happens in many such dinners. I was so full of the starters that my stomach could accommodate only some `Thayir Sadam` and the desert!

The highlight of the evening was the participation of some children of the members who were also  41ers in some other clubs in the city. There was a  record attendance of over 40 thoroughly enjoying the well-organized dinner meet.  Thanks, Sangeeth and team for a memorable evening! Truly `Hinges of Friendship` among ex-tablers never rust!

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A friendship to cherish

I was happy to receive a special visitor at my home a few days ago. A friend and well-wisher for nearly forty years he was a pillar of strength to me in many of my projects connected with some voluntary bodies I was associated with. The reason for his visit was to wish me on my becoming an Octogenarian as he could not attend the official party I had hosted on my 80th Birthday. I was touched but not surprised. Because he always had a soft corner for me and attended all important events in my family. He not only extended a helping hand but was also actively involved in a few of the professional bodies I was associated with. I am referring to Mr. N. Murali, the Director of The HINDU group and President of the Music Academy.

My first interactions with him were as a Rotarian in the early eighties when as a Publicity Convenor of my Rotary club I would visit him seeking the support of the HINDU for the two-page supplements that were being brought out to celebrate some occasion or the other by the club or the Rotary District to which my club belonged. I got closer to him when I became active in the Advertising Club, Madras. He was a great supporter of The Ad club taking an active interest in many of the club's activities. When I was the President of the Advertising Club, Madras during 1993-95 he spontaneously offered Rs 2,00,00 from The Hindu for interior decoration of the permanent Secretariat at its own premises. Later when I took on the challenging responsibility as the Chairman of the Golden Jubilee Celebrations Committee he not only helped in many ways but also accepted the role of the Chairman of the second edition of the `Advertising`s Future Shock` Convention conducted by the club as a part of the Golden Jubilee celebrations. He also released the first copy of the Golden Jubilee Commemoration volume giving the history of the club which I had the privilege of compiling with the late Krishna.

Another connection that brought me even closer to Mr. Murali was my long stint with AMIC, an NGO devoted to mass communication in Asia Pacific Region headquartered in Singapore. First as a Country Representative and later as a member of the board of AMIC, Singapore. After I completed my six-year term, when I recommended Mr.

Murali`s name as my successor, it was accepted by the AMIC Board. Later to further boost the activities of AMIC India, we decided to form an AMIC India Trust, registered in Chennai with Dr. M.S. Swaminathan, the well-known agricultural scientist as the Chairman, and me as the Founder Secretary. Mr. Murali was roped in as one of the board members.

My long association with AMIC led to my involvement with IFRA, another non-profit organization based in Germany devoted to research in Newspaper development. I was instrumental in starting IFRA INDIA, as a private limited company with Mr.Murali and me as the founder directors. As Mr.Murali was already on the board of IFRA Germany, he managed to get the rights to hold an IFRA EXPO and INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE in India in 2007.

I consider IFRA Expo India in Chennai 2007 as the crowning glory of my 18-year association with IFRA. Every year when I visited IFRA Expo in Europe, I would dream that one day I would be actively involved in organizing a similar International Expo in India. Thanks to the favorable atmosphere offered by the booming Indian economy then and the consequent development of the Newspaper publishing industry, IFRA agreed to have IFRA Expo for the first time outside Europe in Chennai, in 2007, though on a modest scale.

With active support from the IFRA Expo team in Darmstadt in Germany and the dedicated efforts of the small IFRA India team consisting of Magdoom Mohamed and Antony and using a checklist I had drawn up over the years for organizing such events, we went about organizing IFRA Expo India with a missionary zeal. With over 100 exhibitors participating, nearly 3000 delegates visiting and over 600 delegates attending the parallel conference, IFRA Expo India held at the Chennai Trade Centre became a resounding success. The nearly 200 foreign exhibitors, speakers, and delegates went back awestruck at what IFRA India could achieve in terms of meticulous planning, quality of speakers, excellent time management, and the wonderful execution of the project to international standards. All this was possible with the active support of Mr.Murali and his team in The Hindu.

I always considered Mr.Murali a lucky mascot in my life. He has been a chief guest at many of the events that I had organized over the years. The most memorable was when as the chief guest at the two-in-one function organized by the Rural Marketing Association of India in 2009, attended by the who`s who of the advertising industry in Chennai, he not only presented the `RMAI Life Time Achievement Award` to me but also released the first copy of my autobiography `Courage My Companion`.

The last official function I attended was the 65th Anniversary celebration of the Advertising Club, Madras in October 2022 when the Club was honoring a few Past Presidents. I had the privilege of receiving a memento from N. Murali who was the chief guest at the event.

In response to my note thanking him for his visit to my home this was his reply, "I enjoyed my visit and your hospitality immensely. Those old happy memories ( that we shared) will always remain with us."

Yes, Mr.Murali, I will always cherish our friendship and the wonderful memories made possible by your unstinted support to many of my activities. Pray god to bestow good health on you so that you continue to inspire people associated with you to do their best.

Divine grace and Elders blessings

My parents taught me the value of divine grace and elders` blessings right from my childhood.  Every four years my father would take the family on a holiday to the South. Holidays meant not seeing new places but visiting relatives seeking their blessings & visiting temples in the towns which we visited. Using Chennai as the base we would visit all towns in Tamil Nadu where his extended families, especially relatives who were elders to him, lived. Both my parents would prostrate before such elders seeking their blessings. We would also be forced to do the same.  I religiously follow this advice to this day. However, at 80 with related health issues prevent me from prostrating before my elders. If I try it I find that  I need two people to lift me from the floor. Instead, I do the `PAI Lagey`` in true North Indian style.

My visit to see Prabha`s Chithi ( mother`s younger sister) in Pune with my daughter Sowmya was primarily to seek the blessings of this 92-year-old lady, who was staying in a Retirement Community with an assisted living facility. Her son who has a flat in Pune had decided to leave his mother in this facility when he and his wife were proceeding to Australia to visit their son`s family settled there. Even after he returned to Pune, he decided not to take his mother home. I found out the reason during my visit.

The old lady, always full of energy and enthusiasm was thoroughly enjoying her stay in the home. She told us “ I Have many friends here. All the staff members are very nice to me. In fact, every morning before they start work they visit me to seek my blessings because  I am the oldest person in this Home. Though they serve food at your bedside, I prefer to walk down to the canteen. I like the food here, though it is typically Maharashtrian fare”

 She was very excited when she told us about the grand celebrations held by the staff in her honor on her 92^nd birthday a few days earlier. She called the supervisor of the home to show us the pictures taken on the occasion. “You know they had decorated the hall with balloons and festoons. I even cut a birthday cake! They all sang the Happy Birthday song`. Oh! She was excited like a child!

When I asked her if her son visited her that day she responded without any remorse ”No he couldn`t come because he was not doing well. It is ok. I am sure he will visit me when he can”

When I asked her if she would like to go back to stay with her son. her face changed. “I am very happy here. At my son`s home, I feel lonely. My Son and daughter-in-law are so busy, I have nobody to talk to. I sit watching the TV the whole day or read some books. Here I have made so many friends”

I was reminded of a  similar statement made by my late mother-in-law almost 20 years ago when she was staying in an old age home and I would bring her home to give her a break, or so I thought.

Chithi pointed out some bedridden inmates and stated innocently- ”You know I am not even getting a fever.  Though I have a nurse  attending on me I do all my chores myself”

After handing over the several gifts which we had brought with us and after taking the mandatory selfies and photos we left the Home feeling happy that the old lady was having a good time at the Home. However, the way she was looking shrunk and emaciated  I  am not sure If I will see her again.

While leaving I sent a message to her son congratulating him on his wise decision to put up his old mother in the retirement community.  

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Four cities in 10 days

It all started with the invitation to address my school's ( SIWS)Alumni Association on 21st January, at the school in Wadala, Mumbai. I decided to combine it with a visit to Shirdi, Pune, and Hyderabad. I am not confident about traveling alone these days. So I was happy when my daughter Sowmya volunteered to accompany me-it was a big moral and physical support. I had decided to use the direct flight from Chennai to reach Shirdi but from Shirdi to Pune/Mumbai I opted for the road route to avoid the hassles connected with train travel.

In Shirdi, we had a great darshan of Sai Baba thanks to the ever-friendly guide Babu Rao of Vasant Kamal travels. On our way to Pune, we visited the Shani temple at Shani Shignapur. Shani Shignapur village is famous for the fact that no house is ever locked as the villagers feel secure with the protection provided by Shani Baghvan. Closer to Pune we visited the Mahaganpathi temple at Ranjangaon known as one of the Ashta Vinayaga temples located in Maharashtra. I visited all the Ashta Vinayaga temples with Prabha 15 years ago.

At Pune, we met Nadkar and his wife Muktha, friends from my Round Table days in Mumbai ( 1968-71), and of course Pradeep Lokhande of Rural Relations, one of the founders of the Rural Marketing Association of India. While Nadkars entertained us with a delicious Maharashtrian lunch at Shreyas restaurant, Pradeep and his wife took us to Vaishali restaurant, very popular as the biggest restaurant serving delectable south Indian dishes for dinner in Pune. I was happy to learn that not only had Pradeep become a grandfather since I last met him but also quietly performed the marriage of his second daughter.

In Mumbai, my host was Sundaresan and his wife Leela. Though I reconnected with Sundaresan, my schoolmate, after 53 years at a reunion 12 years ago, we have become close friends and I feel very comfortable staying with them whenever I am in Mumbai. This time it was no different.

My talk at the Alumni meet was a resounding success judging by the response I got from the teachers and students of the SIWS college in the audience. I was delighted when the Principal of the college promised to help in getting my novel `Durga Nivas` based on my experience of living in a chawl, translated into Marathi & Hindi. I hope her enthusiasm is followed by action.
The Second Grand Annual Day celebrations held the following day at the school auditorium witnessed eight alumni being conferred the Distinguished Alumni Award. ( I received my Award at the first Grand event held in 2017). The award function which was anchored by Nagesh Alai with aplomb was followed by an entertaining dance programme by a professional group and a music session in which many old students displayed their talents for singing old film songs in Hindi and Tamil. The meeting ended with a simple South Indian meal provided by a well-known caterer in Mumbai..
While in Mumbai I visited my 84 years old cousin Gopal and my old boss and dear friend- 92 years old Vijay Menon. It was Vijay when he became the Secretary general of AMIC, an NGO headquartered in Singapore, devoted to promoting mass communication in the Asia-Pacific region, inducted me as a Country Representative of AMIC in 1984. Later I was roped into the Board of AMIC Singapore and was also responsible for establishing an Indian office of WAN-IFRA, a world body devoted to the development of Newspapers. While my main profession took me to the villages of India, my role as the MD of IFRA INDIA saw me visiting many cities across the world. I am always grateful to Vijay for opening up a whole new world to me.

I also met my good friend Swamy, who was the Manager in charge of the memorable `Enga Veettu Super Star- Philips` campaign for the electronics division of Philips in Rural Tamil Nadu, which my agency conceived in 1997-98. A successful campaign that brought Sam Balsara of Madison fame to our doorstep for a collaboration. It was nice going down memory lane with Swamy. A brief visit to my brother`s daughter`s house in a posh apartment complex in Parel was the icing on the cake.

From Mumbai, we flew to Hyderabad to visit my younger brother Srinivasan who was recovering from a setback in his health, & his wife Pushpa, who received the Lifetime Achievement Award from a professional body of audiologists, yesterday.

My experience of visiting Prabha's 92 years old Chithi ( mother`s younger sister ) at a Retirement Community in PUNE deserves a separate post.

I returned to Chennai in high spirits with loads of blessings from my elders and divine grace from the Gods but accompanied by a severe cough that my family doctor diagnosed as an allergic cough- nothing to worry about!

Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation celebrates its 10th Anniversary

The 10th Anniversary of Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation ( PRTF), started by me in memory of Prabha, was celebrated yesterday (15th January 2023) at TAG Centre owned by my good friend R.T Chari. It is at the same venue four other earlier anniversaries were celebrated.

The special feature of this year`s event was the presentation of the `PRTF-ROLE MODEL` Award to 95 years old Kanakam Sharma, who started writing short stories in Tamil at 90 and became a published author of a book of short stories by 93. She is continuing to write. The second person to receive the award was 78 years old Jaya Krishnan. She started writing in Tamil after she turned 70. She already has two books on spiritual subjects to her credit and the third one is on the way. The citations were read by Mythili Seshadri.

The next event witnessed 81 years old Kumudha Srinivasan realizing her dream of publishing her first book of short story in Tamil. Kizhambur Sankara Subramanian, the editor of 91 years old Kalaimagal magazine, received the first copy from the Chief Guest. The three ladies proved that age is no barrier to pursuing one`s passion.

This was followed by Ravi Tamilvanan of Manimekalai Prasuram handing over two books of first-time authors sponsored by PRTF to the Chief Guest. After this cash prizes were distributed to the winners of the short story competitions held by Ladies Special and Kuvikam magazines in association with PRTF. A book containing prize-winning stories in the PRTF-Kuvikam contest was also released by the chief guest.

The meeting started with a melodious invocation song sung by Madhura Muralidharan followed by an emotional welcome address by Kavitha Srinivas. In his address, Rajan recalled the continuous support that PRTF has received from Kizhambur, Editor of Kalaimagal magazine, Ravi Tamilvanan of Manimekalai Prasuram, Girija Raghavan, Editor of Ladies Special magazine, Diwakar of Compuprint and R.T.Chari of the Tag group for the activities of PRTF right from its inception.

The chief guest, celebrity writer Sivasankari in her address congratulated PRTF for the excellent work it was doing in encouraging talented women. Her inspiring speech was listened to with rapt attention by the packed audience, estimated at over 150. The meeting ended with a vote of thanks by Sowmya Srinivasan followed by the National Anthem

A folder containing the details of activities of PRTF for the first ten years was distributed to the guests
The meeting, which started sharp at 6.05pm and ended sharply at 7.35, was anchored with aplomb by Girija Raghavan better known as the `one woman army`.

 

 

A Tenth Anniversary Tribute

  PRABHA RAJAN ( 27-7-51  to 05-01-2013)

CELEBRATING MEMORIES

Prabha was born on 27^th July 1951, as the youngest of four siblings. Her father, a senior Manager with the TVS group, passed away when he was 31 years old leaving behind four children of ages ranging from 20 days to 7 years. Prabha, who was only 20 days old never saw her father. Prabha and her three siblings ( Two elder brothers and the eldest sister) were brought up by their single mother with support from the TVS group. All of them received a good education with Prabha`s senior elder brother passing his Chartered Accountancy with distinction. It was a close-knit family with little exposure to the outside world and hardly any socializing.  An average student, Prabha studied up to graduation level at SIET college in Chennai. She never enjoyed studies but was a voracious reader of Tamil magazines &  books. She was fond of film music of those days, which she could recall much later when she became a popular social singer at parties.

I was married to Prabha in 1972 when I was 30 years old and she was only 21. It was an arranged marriage. As a  successful adman and a Round Tabler, I was very active in social circles. In the initial years of our married life, I was indeed shocked to find that she did not fit into my social circles because of her problem communicating in English.  I have described in detail her trials and tribulations on this score in my autobiography and how she came out of it through sheer determination and hard work. 

Though a reluctant starter, Prabha was a fast learner.  Once she got on to something she would put her heart and soul into the job.  Whether cooking meals for a small family of 5 or a party of 40 people,  maintaining her garden with hundreds of plants with love and care, attending music classes and learning new songs, or handling any assignment given to her by the neighborhood Ladies Club or the Inner Wheel Club, she proved to be a very dependable and dedicated worker. Her passion for doing things perfectly earned her a lot of admirers.

Prabha was a fearless person.  No bad news, no calamity, or even a simple accident affected her composure. She was very bold and had been a nemesis for any crawling or slithering creatures that dared to enter our independent home. She was also not a sentimental person judging by her reactions to several situations that I had seen.

Prabha was an intellectual of sorts! Not many people have had the opportunity to see her wax eloquent on Hindu religion, Mythology, Tamil literature & Carnatic music. Her memory and knowledge of these subjects were very good.

All these talents were hidden for the first sixteen years of our marriage when she was bringing up our children while I was very busy building a successful career and very active in social organizations. While I thought everything was going well with Prabha and me, an explosive letter she wrote to me in Tamil, opened up my eyes to the reality and what I did with the letter and how my `out of the box` action became a turning point in her life is already well documented.

Post that event Prabha became an accomplished writer in Tamil and after receiving some training in communication skills in  English she became active in the neighborhood Ladies Club and  Inner Wheel Club of Madras South, which opened up a whole new world to her. She became the 31^st President of the Inner Wheel Club of Madras South.

Prabha`s transformation, from an introvert with low self-esteem to a person who became self-assured and confident was complete. She began to enjoy participating in many social activities. She became so popular in social circles that a stage reached where instead of her being referred to as Rajan`s wife I was being referred to as Prabha`s husband. She became the dream girl that I wanted to marry but she was not in the initial years of our marriage. I began to fall in love with Prabha in her new Avathar. I was truly proud of her progress in life

Prabha was a good wife, a caring mother, a dutiful daughter-in-law, and an affectionate grandmother.  Prabha was also multi-talented.  Apart from her writing and singing abilities, I found her to be also a good storyteller.  Given an opportunity, she could also act or dance. She exhibited a childlike enthusiasm for a lot of things.  When our travels took us to historical places, she would like to know details about everything on display.  You would find her religiously reading all the explanatory boards on display.

Unlike many women I know, she was not a gossipmonger and could get along with anyone because of the simplicity and transparency in her dealings.  Most certainly she was not a cunning person but could be too naive sometimes! Though she was like the proverbial mouse to the outside world she was a tigress at home! I should know! Maybe her children also know of that side of Prabha.

On the negative side, I would say that the obsession she had for maintaining the fairly big house we had, spic and span, sometimes drove everyone, especially me, to go crazy.

Anyone or anything that intruded on her daily routine created tension in her.  While it was an excellent quality to be focused on, sometimes it created explosive situations between us.  However, we had an unwritten understanding that we would never carry forward our anger arising out of a situation to the next day.

 If I have led a very fulfilling life and have a sense of accomplishment, realizing most of my dreams. I must acknowledge the role played by Prabha in my life. If I had a role to play in making her come out of her shell and helped her talents to come to the limelight, I was only doing my duty as she did hers.

Thank you, Prabha for everything.   And pardon me if I disappointed you with some scores!