From Adyar Times issue dt.
0ctober11-17,2015
My first article published under
a new fortnightly column titled `Rajan`s Random Reflections` . Adyar
Times is a free community paper popular
in South Madras reaching about 50,000
households.
SINGLE PARENT
I had gone
to stay with my daughter in Bangalore for a couple of days. I was moved to see
the extremely busy schedule that she maintains, looking after her home and the
two school going kids besides some
creative activities she is pursuing as a hobby. After the school hours, driving
the children to special classes or some sports/cultural activity in the
maddening traffic of Bangalore can be quite nerve wracking by itself. The task has become even more daunting because
of the absence of her husband who is away in Delhi on a short transfer
depriving her of his support during the children’s growing years. I must say
that like millions of Indian Housewives, she is coping with the challenge very well, albeit with some impact on her
health & moods!
While my
daughter has the moral support of her husband who regularly calls & keeps
in touch with the happenings at home, I was wondering what happens to the
growing number of single parents, in our country. How do they cope without the
active support of a life partner? Their
single status could be because of a broken marriage, or loss of a
husband due to illness/accidents. And of course there are young women, very
successful in their careers and
financially independent, deciding not to get hooked on to any one through
marriage but still deciding to bring up a child. Such women go for
adoption and are willing to take on the challenging task of performing a dual
role – that of a mother and father.
I met a lady
recently, who, after two broken marriages , decided to bring up her two children on her own. Talking to her, I
realized that our society can be very
cruel to women who choose to be single parents.
She was
narrating some unpleasant incidents she encountered while dealing with the
teachers and the management of the school where her kids were studying.
Besides the children too had to face the jibes, taunts and insensitive
comments of their peers as well as teachers.
Making them feel very insecure,
leading to psychological problems, affecting their lives.
Though I
have not come across a single parent who
has adopted a child, I am sure such women also must be facing similar problems.
The adopted children must be facing more
humiliation than the biological children of single parents because they don`t
know who their father is.
In the West
it is common to find children of single parents- could be either the father or
the mother, studying in schools coping well with their lives, because Western
society has accepted such situations as normal. In our country we still have a long way to go in
addressing this growing problem,
resulting from increasing cases of divorces. Apart from developing counseling for such parents and schools, the society must also consider providing
support systems to enable the hapless women to manage their lives with dignity.
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