My first exposure to an old age home was 17 years ago when my mother in law was admitted to a modest home run by a distant relative located in a busy residential colony in the suburbs of Chennai. It was close to a popular temple and other facilities required by senior citizens and provided home cooked meals. My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last years of her life in senior citizen homes as per a decision taken by her son living in USA. While I was not happy seeing her staying in a Home, she seemed to be quite happy, judging by what she told people visiting her.
Has
anything changed with Senior Citizen Homes ( SCHs) over the years. Certainly my
opinion about SCHs has changed. Because the modern day Homes located in gated communities have all basic facilities
that senior citizens need and much more for those who can afford the price.
During
my recent visit to Coimbatore I visited a few friends staying in popular Senior
Citizens Homes to get a feedback on their experiences in the gated communities where
they were staying.
The first was a retired bureaucrat, aged 93
years, who was a public sector honcho in
his time and a recipient of Padma Shri
from the government. He was staying alone in a Villa set among picturesque
surroundings.
His
response in his own words,” I am very happy here. Whenever I go to stay with my
daughter in Chennai, I find that I miss the company of friends I have made in
this facility. Besides this place is beautiful, the service is excellent and
the weather also is pleasant for 10 months in a year. I am happy with the food
they serve and enjoy the regular interactions I have with other residents
during my morning walks and in the evenings. In case of medical emergencies the
management is ready with help. I don`t
feel lonely at all here”
The
next visit was to another facility, which has both villas and flats. I met the
wife of a friend, in her early seventies, who had moved into a villa just six
months ago. A woman full of energy and cheer, she was living alone in her
own independent home for over a decade
after her husband passed away. Both her children live abroad. After surviving a
cancer attack she found it difficult to manage the independent home by herself and
hence decided to shift to the villa.
The
enthusiasm with which she received me and showed me around her new abode
reflected her happiness. “You know within a few days of moving here I became
friendly with my neighbors - an old couple in their late eighties. They have
adopted me as their own daughter and I enjoy offering them any help they need.
Besides my relations and friends keep visiting me regularly. I am thoroughly
enjoying my stay here`
Following day I met two sisters, both spinsters in
their seventies ,who were living in an independent house before moving into a
flat in
one of the phases of a complex for seniors.
They had also moved into their flat just a few months earlier. This facility has no villas and only flats in
seven blocks of several flats with a central courtyard.
“We
are so happy here that we don`t have to worry about the day to day problems we
used to face running an independent home. It used to be physically exhausting.
Besides we feel more secure here” was
their spontaneous response
They
are also happy with the interesting activities that take place in the facility
to keep the residents engaged and the regular weekly health check ups they get.
My two day stay at a villa in a brand new facility
started just a few months ago, where I was a guest of a schoolmate of mine, was
memorable. Though he owns a flat in New Delhi in the apartment complex where
his daughter lives my friend chose this facility so that his wife could indulge
herself in her favorite hobby of gardening without the responsibility of running
a home. The stay, gave me an idea of what it feels to be a resident of a senior
citizen facility. The experience was positive.
In
my talks with several residents of Senior citizen Homes in many other cities
over the years I have found some of them preferred to move into a Senior
Citizen Home, though their children were
living in the same city, because they
did not want to burden their children looking after them on a day to day basis.
With the joint family system breaking down and nuclear families being the norm
these days, old people find themselves to be of nuisance value to their
children. There are also cases of old people who don’t have the energy or
mindset to look after their grand children with office going parents. Obviously
the old values are changing where people, both young and old, are becoming more
self centered.
Based
on my talks with residents of such Homes and also my own brief stays in some of
them, I would like to make the following observations for the benefit of those
who are planning to move into SCHs.
Judging
by the good times that many of the
residents are having, I would say it is
an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful
lives and who are financially independent; to spend their twilight years in
peace and contentment
It
is no more a stigma on the children if their parents voluntarily choose to stay
in senior citizen homes which provide them the necessary independence, comfort
and the company of new friends with similar backgrounds.
Once
they have decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home (SCH) they should visit a few SCHs and try to stay in their guest
houses for a few days to get a feel of
the place. They also must talk to some residents to find out what they think of
the facilities on offer and their satisfaction level before they make up their mind.
Many
new SCHs offer five star facilities which may not be used by every one and such Homes are very expensive. It is important to choose
a facility which satisfies one`s basic needs and is available at a reasonable cost.
It
might be a good idea to retain one`s own
home for some time and sell it only when one is
fully satisfied with the SCH. Most of the homes keep increasing their
maintenance charges and meal charges from time to time because of escalating
costs. Residents must be prepared to face this contingency.
Food
becomes a major issue in the SCHs. One has to be mentally prepared to adjust one`s tastes to the menu on offer. Coimbatore, the most
popular city for SCHs, where most of
them offer only vegetarian meals and that too the South Indian variety. Though
North Indian dishes may be offered on some days, do not expect it to be of the same
quality that one is used to. One`s
choice of food & the city where one wants to settle down can also be determining factors in selecting the
Home
Better
to go for facilities offered by well known groups. They have the resources and
commitment to run the facilities efficiently because their reputation is at
stake. Homes started by individuals or
private parties are generally not reliable
If
you have children living in other cities, go for a two-bedroom facility so that
there is a place for them to stay whenever they visit you.
Senior
Citizen Homes with attached hospices or with facilities for providing full time
attenders are alternatives which can be considered by working couples who have
old and infirm parents who need constant
help and attention.
If
one wants to enjoy one`s stay in SCHs it
is important to be friendly with other
residents. Remember that more than one`s own children it is the friends who make
one`s life interesting in old age. Besides if one is friendly with the able bodied residents in the
facility, they become one`s support group and care givers in case of
emergencies until the family members come and take over. I saw this in action
in one of the facilities in Coimbatore during my short stay a couple of years
ago.
I would
to like conclude this article quoting
the words of a resident of a SCH,
”the two essential needs of every individual apart from roti,
kapda and makhan are freedom and friendship. Both these crucial
requirements for healthy and happy living are assured in the life of seniors in Senior Citizen Homes”
This article
has been published In the Sepember`22 issue of Seniors Today, a monthly
e-magazine published from Bombay.
No comments:
Post a Comment