Vijaya Rajagopal - A lover of challenges

  (An inspiring story)

In almost all modern, well-run, senior citizen Homes that I have visited or stayed in for short durations,  I have found some talented members organize programmes using their specific talents. It could be music, dance, plays, antakshari, quiz, tombola, etc. They are the `Movers & Shakers` of such  Homes. Phase 4 in Nana Nani where I have settled down for the last year is no exception. This article is about Vijaya Rajagopal and her association with Vasanthi Sampathkumar. The duo is popularly known as V2s in the community, who organize innovative, music-based programmes delighting their audiences. Vijaya is the ideas woman who masterminds the programmes and Vasanthi, her co-host, who helps with her suggestions to make the programmes memorable events. The audience loves the chatty, informal style of compering, in Tanglish ( mixing Tamil with English) by  Vijaya,  a master storyteller whose knowledge of our history, arts, culture,   scriptures, music, and Vedas is amazing. Besides Vasanthi she is ably supported by talented singers, dancers, and actors in the community.

 Vijay`s life story is an example of how one can convert challenges into opportunities and make life meaningful and interesting. 

Vijaya spent her early years in Bombay, where her father was working as a director in the Textile Commissioner's office.  The family was living in a four-room apartment in Matunga. Eldest among four siblings Vijaya was a bright student. Though she did her schooling in South Indian Welfare Society`s high school, Wadala , for her college education she was taken to Trivandrum where her grandfather was staying. He wanted her to become a doctor.

Vijaya says, “ I was a state rank holder in PUC and got a seat for medicine with a scholarship. But as my mother  was concerned about my health condition in Trivandrum, she took me  back to  Bombay. I gave up the idea of pursuing  medicine . Instead I got a BSc degree with distinction from S.I.E.S college. When I was  all set  to pursue an MSc fate intervened “

 Her would-be husband Rajagopal, a transport pilot with the Indian Air Force saw her at a family function. It was love at first sight. He made it clear that only  Vijaya would make an ideal wife for him. With determination, he overcame all the objections from both families and married Vijaya at a simple ceremony in their home.

Vijaya says, “ It was such a hurried affair that they forgot to get a photographer to cover the event. You know,  I don't have any photos of my wedding”

Post-wedding she was taken to Gwalior where her husband was posted then.

“ Air Force life was like a bed of roses`` says Vijaya. With her linguistic skills, she adapted herself to the new life well. She actively participated in many of the family events.  The arrival of a daughter and son also made life more challenging and interesting. When life was cruising along beautifully, fate again intervened. Due to health reasons, her husband decided to take voluntary retirement from service. The family first moved to Chennai and then to Madurai. In 1986 when her husband died at the age of 52, she was only 39, faced with the task of bringing up her two teenage children as a single mother.

‘ My daughter was a pillar of strength to me during those trying times. I acquired a B Ed degree from Madurai Kamaraj University, managing challenging assignments in government schools as part of the curriculum” says Vijaya

Then began her long journey as a school teacher where she had an opportunity to tell stories to children based on our epics. Both her son and daughter were well settled by now with their own families- her son living in the USA and her architect daughter who has a daughter, also an architect, settled in Pune. Vijaya successfully ran a Play School from her home in Pune where she moved to be close to her daughter`s home. After 25 years the Covid pandemic prompted its closure.

Vijaya says,” My husband used to say that we should help children as long as they want and then we should live an independent life without responsibilities. When I decided to act upon this idea, I looked at many senior citizens' Homes. With help from a relation, I  zeroed in on Nana Nani, Phase 4 in Coimbatore. I moved into the facility in November 2021.

“The first person I met in the dining hall where I had gone with my granddaughter on the first day was  Vasanthi. She told my granddaughter,  “Your Paati (Grandmother) will be happy here”.

At that time  Vijaya didn`t realize that she would be embarking on a new action-filled life and that with Vasanthi she would be involved in organising many memorable programmes in Nana Nani.

Vasanthi says, “ I was very impressed with Vijaya.  She looked very vibrant and full of life. I knew she would be an asset in our community.”

Vasanthi was brought up in Srirangam, the temple city.  During her student days she was a keen sportswoman. Badminton & basket ball were her favourite games in which she had won prizes at the district level. In 1968, she married  Sampath Kumar, a brilliant student and a rank holder who was working then in Bombay. Within two years he started his own business. The couple  spent the next 53 years in Bombay before they moved to Nana Nani in February 2019 after discharging all their family responsibilities.

“ During my long stay in Bombay, I was never involved  in stage activities. It was Vijaya who discovered me  and trained me to be her deputy in organising events. I have learned a lot from her and continue to do so”

 The first programme the duo organized was Anthakshari. The duo had to persuade the residents to participate in good numbers. It became a hit.  The second event was a Medley with 15 residents participating. In music, a medley is a collection of different tunes and songs that are played one after the other as a single piece of music..The event became so popular in Phase 4 that the team was invited to repeat it for the benefit of residents in Phase 3 & 5 of Nana Nani.

The first theme-based programme, a musical drama scripted and produced by Vijaya, using classical music was, Nandanaar, a Nayanar Saint, who is venerated in the Hindu sect of Shaivism. He is generally counted as the eighteenth in the list of 63 Nayanars. Though she had not learned Carnatic music, Vijya listens to it every day and believes there is nothing like Carnatic music.

“In Aug 23, I had a stroke and foot drop. I didn’t know if I could ever move but I recovered soon managing with a walker and stayed at home. Thanks to very supportive and helpful friends  I was back in action. I like challenges, that Is why I keep getting challenges, I think” says Vijaya.

Despite Vijaya`s  mobility problem the duo  produced a musical drama on Ramayana using a unique concept.  A rare combination of three storytelling forms to present the venerated Ramayana story. With a running commentary narrated in her inimitable style by  Vijya, interspersed with 39 short and appropriate songs based on lyrics from the works of famous saints like Kabir, Kamban, Tulasidas, Theagaraja, and Mythili Sharan, sung beautifully by a team of 10 talented singers seated on the stage. In addition, the audience witnessed the enactment of selected scenes from Ramayana going with the flow of the story by veteran actors from the community, enhancing the impact of the narration. The repeated applause from the packed audience during the programme and a standing ovation at the end proved the resounding success of the programme.  

Vijaya says “I would write the story first. Team members good at music would provide their expertise. Simultaneously we would decide about the actors who can perform different roles. Then we would rehearse for several days until I  felt  we were ready to go on stage. It was all wonderful team work”

Inspired by the success of Ramayana, the duo presented a  similar show on Lord  Ranganatha of Srirangam fame. The story outline for this was provided by Mythili Narayanan @ Shylaja. This show also became a big hit. 

Their other acclaimed presentations include `Navagrahamum Diskhitarum` featuring the Navagraha Kritis by composer Muthuswami Dikshitar- tracing the evolution of Indian music and a Karaoke-based film music programme titled `Monsoon  Magic` featuring rain-related songs. It was interesting that while this show was going on it was raining heavily outside the Hall.

In addition to her involvement with music-based shows, Vijaya also started learning Sanskrit and Rudram (a vedic mantra)  after coming to Nana Nani. Everyday,  after lunch she also spends some time playing cards. Recently she started learning to play Bridge.

Vijaya  says, “ I don`t think I would have got such opportunities anywhere else. I have no time now. Despite  my  mobility problem, I am thoroughly enjoying my life here”

While Vijaya- Vasanthi duo is popular in the community as organizers of innovative programmes, Vijaya`s life story proves that age and physical problems are no bar to taking on challenges in life and living a fun-filled happy life.  Vijaya is certainly a role model among senior citizens in the community.

8th Anniversary and an Award!

 8^th anniversary of Phase 4 of Nana Nani was celebrated in a grand manner on 3^rd & 4^th June,2025. The first day, 3^rd June,  witnessed ` An evening of Cultural delight` with a variety entertainment progamme masterminded by Vidhya Venkatachalam, the popular leader of  Dream Team, which is famous for its dance-oriented programmes. Active participation by talented residents, including some Octogenarians (80+), was appreciated by the packed audience at the Meditation Hall. The event also recognized three residents for their achievements, including yours truly. I received the `Inspiring Writer Award` from Vidhya, dressed in a man`s costume for an item to follow. All three residents had missed receiving our Awards at the New Year Bash held on 2^nd January, as we were not in town. Vidhya was particular that the Awards should be presented to us only at the next big function organised by the Dream Team.. A thoughtful gesture from her. This is the first public recognition I am getting as a writer.

4^th June was reserved for celebrations at the In house Mahalaxmi Temple where different puja`s were performed from the morning, ending up with a grand procession of the presiding deities on a big  Hanuman shaped Chariot,  mounted on a Hand cart,  going around the complex,  visiting very block, where devotees made their offerings,  seeking divine grace! Though such anniversary celebrations happen every year, this was the first time I was attending. I was impressed with the amount of effort put in by both the management and the residents to make it a grand affair!

 

 

A CASE OF CARE & CONCERN

 I want to share a positive experience I had with our in-house clinic in Nana Nani. Two nights ago, I had a bad attack of Vomiting at 1.00 am, followed by a feverish feeling,  which made me feel drained.  In the morning, although I felt better, I called the clinic to have my basic health parameters checked. Kalimuthu, the sole male assistant in the clinic, came and checked me. While he found that I had no temperature, my blood pressure was slightly higher, reading 90/150. He gave me a tablet for immediate relief and advised me to visit the duty doctor at 10 am. While I was busy with my morning chores, I got a call from Kalimuthu at 10.15 am wanting to know why I had not come to visit the doctor. On his insistence, I met the junior doctor who, after a physical examination, told me that he suspected that I was suffering from gastroenteritis and prescribed a medicine to be taken for five days.  While I appreciated the care and concern shown by Kalimuthu, what happened the next morning when I returned to my apartment from a temple visit around 11.30 am took me by total surprise.

I had just entered my room and closed the door when Kalimuthu came barging in and stood transfixed, seeing me. He had run up the stairs to reach my home on the second floor and was gasping. `’You are alright, Sar,” so saying he hugged me tightly. I asked him what happened. He said, " I just received a call from Mrs Sushi Krishnamurthy living in the same block, that the maid who had come to do her duty at your apartment found it locked from inside. The light and the fan in the hall were on, but you were  not opening the door despite her ringing the bell repeatedly.”

Since the maid was aware that I was not well the previous day, she had reported her concern to the resident where she had gone for her duty. Mrs Sushi Krishnamurthy, a well-wisher, promptly rang up the clinic. Kalimuthu, who took the call, came rushing up and was happy to find that I was alive and kicking.

I would like to record my sincere thanks to Kalimuthu for his prompt response to a call from a resident. He could have tried to reach me on my phone but since the clinic is just opposite my block, he decided to personally visit and check on me.

This is the third time I have had such a positive experience of the services of the in-house clinic in the last 15 months of my stay in N & N. I congratulate  Shantha,  Chief Nurse and her team for the dedication and commitment they show to their jobs. God bless them!

 

Alternative Therapy (Updated)

My friend Ramesh had to undergo a major surgery for a serious back problem at a five-star corporate hospital specialising in Cancer treatment. A biopsy after the surgery revealed that he was suffering from Multiple Myeloma in an advanced stage. Doctors wanted to start him on chemotherapy and other related treatments. Having heard that the treatment is worse than the disease, he took a bold decision that he would look at alternative therapy. He was already a believer in naturopathy and his Bangalore-based doctor agreed to treat him and promised him that while he may not be able to cure the disease at such an advanced stage, he could at least contain the disease and prevent it from spreading fast, thus giving him the chance to continue to lead a comparatively normal life. Of course, he had to submit himself to a strict regimen of diet and herbal medicines. His wife supported his decision and helped him adhere to the regimen. Whereas the cancer specialists had predicted that without the chemotherapy treatment, he would not live for more than six months, he lived for more than three years, leading as normal a life as he could. During this period, he attended all social gatherings and visited  the USA to spend time with his children and grandchildren. Only in the last two months, he was bedridden and was looked after at home by a full-time attendant/nurse. No ICUs and no life support system.  When his time was up, he made a peaceful exit from this world, surrounded by his family. I believe, besides the treatment, his immense faith in the alternative therapy kept him going.

 I want to share my own experiences with alternative therapy. When I was only thirty-eight, I was diagnosed with glaucoma, a dreadful eye disease that can lead to blindness if not treated in time. The eye specialist told me that I would have to live with specific eye drops for the rest of my life and that if the problem worsened, he would perform surgery. The drops had exactly the opposite effect of those used for dilating your eyes when you go for any eye check-up. The result was that I found it difficult to read or drive my car. I was shattered! Instead of bottling up, I always talk about my health problems openly, so that someone can refer me to a possible solution.   A  good friend recommended that I try Magneto Therapy as it had cured his uncle of double vision when all other systems had failed. I found a person in Kilpauk who was a specialist in Magneto Therapy. I underwent the treatment for nine months, after which, when I went to the same eye specialist I had gone to earlier, for a check-up, he was surprised to find that I was cured of the problem. Of course, I had to strictly follow some instructions to prevent the recurrence of the problem, such as not to strain my eyes by reading books lying down or with very small typefaces.

 About twenty years ago, when I was diagnosed with kidney stones and recommended surgery, I found a solution through a grandma’s remedy. For six months, every morning, I took banana stem juice. When I went for a check-up, I found that the stones had vanished.  It is another matter that the mixer-grinder, which was used to make the juice daily, broke down under the stress of churning out the juice every day!

 During the peak of my career, in my late twenties and early thirties, I used to suffer from frequent attacks of mouth ulcers–sores on the tip of my tongue—making it very difficult to talk or eat anything. Each time, the allopathic doctor would give me a B12 injection and put me on a course of Riboflavin. That would give me only temporary relief. I was cured of this problem by another grandma’s remedy. As soon as I get the first signs of a possible attack, I would buy a bundle of ‘Manathakali Keerai’- a variety of spinach- make juice from the leaves in a mixer and take it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. The very second day, I would get some relief. I have recommended this treatment to several friends with positive results. Recently, a long-standing stomach condition I was suffering from has been controlled through Ayurveda.

 Every time doctors recommended an urgent surgery for my other problems I have refused to go under the scalpel and found a remedy in alternative therapies. While my fissure problem was cured by Ayurvedha, I had to undergo  prostate surgery recently when it became impossible to postpone the decision. I believe in the theory–use Allopathy for diagnosis and emergency, but try alternative therapies for chronic problems. It has always worked for me.

Even if Allopathy, Homeopathy, and Naturopathy fail, I can always count on Venkatachalapathy and now Shirdi Saibaba, who entered my life four years ago. Miracles can and do happen in everyone`s lives. Om Sairam!

 

A Dragon of Hope

A book of poems by my daughter

 My younger daughter, Sowmya Srinivasan, a well-known professional storyteller, has been active as a blogger since 2008. She has been posting her poems on her blog (SOULspace – www.ssstoryteller.blogspot.com) since then.  This compilation of her poems, written over 16 years, features her thoughts as a stay-at-home Mother raising two busy children.

“This book is dedicated to my children, Uthara and Keshav, as they have always inspired me to look at the world in new and fresh ways and were instrumental in making me a Storyteller!” says Sowmya.

In the first Foreword to the book, Shreekumar Varma, Author, Playwright, Columnist, and Poet, says,” The titular ‘Dragon of Hope’ is like an interior dialogue that reaches out to us, reflecting on people, on a transactional, emotional basis, probably the musings of a storyteller.  “I am not a poet, yet I write poetry!” says Sowmya. As we pick out the gems from this collection, we will tell Sowmya: “Carry on, we’re waiting for more.”

In the second Foreword, Prof. Dr. Evrim Ölçer Özünel, a Storyteller, Friend, Believer in the power of words, says,  “Some books feel like old friends, you don’t just read them, you sit with them, laugh with them, and sometimes cry with them. `Dragon of Hope and Other Poems from My Life` is that kind of book. It doesn’t shout. It doesn’t try to impress. It simply opens the door to a life lived with deep feeling, gentle reflection, and quiet strength. Through these poems, Sowmya invites us into her world not just as readers, but as fellow travelers. You’ll walk with her through motherhood, memory, loss, love, and self-discovery. You’ll meet the child she once was, the woman she has become, and all the selves she has met along the way.” 

The book is in three parts:  Human Connections,  Earth Connections, and Ethereal Connections. There are  38 poems with comments preceding every poem, capturing the trigger and flavour of the thoughts ahead. They are also chronologically arranged. This 85-page handy book  with a cover design by my grandson  Keshav, is published by Creative Workshop and printed at Compuprint, Chennai. Priced at Rs 160, the book is available for sale now on Flipkart.

https://dl.flipkart.com/dl/product/p/itme?pid=9788198097057&lid=LSTBOK9788198097057JWPRXT

Copies are also available from Sowmya. She can be contacted on - Mob no.9731570615: Email id: sowmya03@gmail.com

`WE CARE` service

 In any Senior Citizen home, there are good Samaritans who are ever willing to help anyone who needs help. I want to share my recent experience in the Home where I live now.

I have been suffering pain in the Hip/Thigh joints during my morning walks for the last several years. I manage by taking short rest breaks and walking for 30 minutes. Since my return from Chennai more than a month ago, I find that this pain keeps recurring even during the daytime at home. I decided to consult a good orthopedic surgeon to ensure that I was not suffering from any silent bone injury during my recent accident in Chennai.  My good friend Bala in the community fixed the appointment with a well-known Orthopedist, who has a clinic located close by. Since my daughter, based in Coimbatore, was out of station, I accepted Bala`s offer to accompany me to the Clinic. He stayed with me for more than two hours until the examination was over and the doctor informed me of his diagnosis and suggested treatment. I was happy to hear that my bones were intact and that I was only suffering from stiff muscles, common among senior citizens. Since we were late for the scheduled lunch hours at the dining hall, Bala took me to his apartment in the complex, and his wife served me a delicious home-cooked meal. It was a wonderful gesture by Bala and his wife. I also found that Bala extends such help to a few other Super seniors in the community.

In the case of residents whose mobility is restricted and those who need assistance to get jobs done outside the campus or who are feeling lonely and don't have any near and dear ones in Coimbatore, there is a `WE CARE`- an informal group of volunteers in Phase 4 of Nana Nani.. It consists of able-bodied residents who offer their services to those who require some help. The resident has to post his or her problem in the WA family group of Phase 4, Someone in the group responds immediately and helps in solving the problem. In cases of emergencies where a resident has to be admitted to a hospital, such volunteers, if necessary, also act as caregivers until a family member comes and takes charge. Though this informal support system is not very active now,  able-bodied senior citizens like Bala continue to offer help as a service to needy seniors in the community.

 

In addition to the reliable medical facilities available on the campus, this kind of help from volunteers boosts the confidence level of those residents who are staying alone, like me, or old couples with mobility problems in the community. This is one more reason why senior citizens with children living abroad or in other cities in India could consider living in such homes, because there is better security and possibilities of getting an immediate response to problems faced by them. This could also be one of the reasons why there are many residents with their children staying in Coimbatore, living in the community.

 

 

My tryst with Shirdi Sai Baba

 My wife Prabha and I had visited Shirdi Sai Baba`s temple in 2002 as a part of our visit to many temples in India. At that time I was not an ardent devotee of Sai Baba. My favourite deities have been Balaji and Ganesha over the years. Baba has entered my life only in the last four years. My interest in Baba was kindled by a series of articles on Baba`s miracles I had read in Ananda Vikatan, a popular Tamil weekly, a few years ago. Suddenly I started seeing Baba`s images every where and his name being talked about by many people. One day when I was having a conversation with my family in my drawing room on Baba, my grandson who was two years old then pointed out at the small marble statue of Baba sitting on the corner display table along with other figures. I felt that Baba was giving me a message and promptly shifted the idol to my Pooja Room. I decided to visit Shirdi with a friend and had made all travel arrangements. We were to leave for Shirdi on 24th March,2020. But the announcement of Lockdown starting from 26th March made us cancel our trip. I was disappointed.

I decided to visit the popular Sai Baba temple in Mylapore on a Thursday before the Lockdown came into effect. It was around 5.30pm. There was a long queue and the temple was heavily crowded I was not confident of standing in the queue for long. While trying to get a darshan of the deity from the outside gate, a thought stuck me. I went to the Security and asked him if there is any special paid darshan of Baba. He promptly directed me to a table in a corner where a volunteer was giving senior citizens tokens to get a quick darshan of Baba. I rushed and found that I was receiving the last token for the day after which the counter was closed. I was allowed to enter the sanctum sanctorum through a side entrance and have a glorious darshan within five minutes. I could even touch the feet of Baba with my head. Obviously Baba had chosen me for his special attention. I came out delighted and fully charged with new energy. What happened next only reinforced my growing interest in Baba.

For the first three weeks of the lockdown I was staying with my elder daughter trying to complete my novel which I had started writing. I learnt that my daughter was already a great devotee of Baba. I found the English version of the original biography of Baba in her Puja Room. I decided to read a couple of chapters every day and completed reading the book during my stay. I was by now totally hooked to Baba. So subsequently whenever the lockdown was relaxed I started visiting Baba temple in Tiruvanmiyur which is close to my home in Sastri Nagar, every Thursday.

I learnt from a reliable source that Sivasankari, the well known Tamil writer was an ardent devotee of Baba. Thanks to my involvement with Tamizh Puthaga Nanbargal, a Tamil book readers` forum, I got to know her well. I decided to visit her during one of the relaxation periods. It was she who told me that Baba decides to enter people`s lives as and when he wants to bestow his grace on them. She herself had become a devotee of Baba only 15 years earlier when she was in her mid sixties. Baba had entered my life in my mid seventies. Sivasankari was kind enough to present me with two books on Baba which she had translated from English to Tamil.

One of them was the abridged version of Baba`s biography. I took to reading this biography once a month as a part of my parayanam ( ritual reading) . I feel indescribable peace settle on me every time I finish reading it.

I must share an unforgettable experience I had recently. It happened a few weeks ago. After visiting the Shirdi Sai Baba temple in Tiruvanmiyur, my son who was driving my car and I were cruising along on a side road connecting to L.B.Road. Suddenly we realized that a Car from the opposite direction was coming towards our car. To avoid a head on collision my son started veering the car to the left. Before we could blink- `Bang`- the opposite car hit the rear door behind the driver, got deflected and stopped after hitting two men on their two wheelers running in front of him. In a dazed condition when I came out of the car I realized that my son and I had narrowly escaped a major head on collision which could have been, if not fatal, would have necessitated hospitalization with serious injuries. Fortunately both of us escaped without even a scratch. However our car was badly damaged. I thanked Sai Baba, whose darshan we had just a few minutes earlier, for saving us from a catastrophe. The very thought of the accident, even after several weeks, sends shivers down my spine!

My vow to visit Baba`s temple in Shiridi became a reality on 29th March,2022, exactly two years after the original plan which got thwarted because of the pandemic. I had a wonderful VIP darshan of Baba on 29th evening and 30th morning. Needless to say it was an enriching experience.

Om Sai Ram!

(An edited version of this article has appeared in the latest issue ( June,2022) of Dignity Dialogue)

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Importance of feedback for creative people

 I was walking towards the neighbourhood shop. As I was passing by the Mahalakshmi temple near the entrance gate in our community,  a young lady stopped me and asked me,” Are you Mr.Rajan, the writer of articles I read in the N & N WA groups?”. When I confirmed that her guess was right, she told me that her parents, who are no more, used to live in Phase 4 and that she was visiting to meet some people. Since she continues to be on the contact list of N & N groups as the owner of the apartment where her parents lived, she sees all communication sent through  WA.  She told me she thoroughly enjoyed reading my stories and recognized me from a photograph she saw in one of my postings. My day was made!"

I used to have similar experiences during my morning walks at Elliots Beach Road in Chennai, when my fortnightly column, `Rajan`s Random Reflections,` was published for five years in Adyar Times before the pandemic.

This is not to boast of my greatness as a writer. But to emphasize the point that for any creative person, feedback is very crucial. It motivates them to continue their creative journey. Whether he /she is a writer, singer, dancer, or in any other creative activity, getting an unsolicited positive response in any form makes the person happy. Unlike in the past, social media allows people to share their creative efforts instantly with large groups and the response is also instantaneous.

I started my writing career only after retirement. The success of my autobiography `Courage My Companion` published in 2009 and encouraged by my mentor, Mr. S. Muthiah of Madras Musings fame,  I started writing on a variety of topics. Posted them on my blog, which my daughter created for me,  shared them with my friends on Facebook and WhatsApp, and mailed them to selected contacts through email. While I write on a variety of topics, I also enjoy writing interview-based human interest stories of inspiring personalities. Many of my articles have been published by both local and national media.

After posting them, I eagerly wait for responses from my readers like any writer does. More than the `likes` or `emojis` I get, which are important, it is the comments that I value most. Some readers respond to every post I send. Though many read they don`t respond every time. I get thrilled when once in a while I see a response from a friend who normally does not respond. Some beg to differ with my views or have some more input on the topic of my posting. As a person who has been in the creative business- 45 years in the advertising business and as a writer /author for the last 16 years, I can take both bouquets and brickbats. Though criticism hurts, I believe in using it to improve my writing.  It is important for creative people to accept constructive criticism. 

So friends, it will be great to see your responses to my articles once in a while, which will keep me going as a writer.

 

Using ventilators - a doctor`s advice

 I came across a very interesting post on the practical aspects of using ventilator support. The article is by Dr.J Bhaskaran, my good friend, a well-known doctor in Chennai,  known for his pragmatic approach in treating his patients. His original posting in Tamil had a case study described in detail at the end of which the Doctor gives practical tips to the family members. I am reproducing below my understanding of the doctor`s message for the benefit of my readers

 

Ventilator support involves providing oxygen support to the Lungs making it function artificially. This enables the oxygen to be sent to all parts of the body through blood circulation. It is a form of life-saving device. For those diseases where normal breathing is likely to return, it is important to administer this procedure for such patients. Because the ventilators are performing the role of the lungs, the patient will continue to breathe and will become alright in due course. The ventilator support can be withdrawn in a few weeks in such cases. It is called the `Acute crisis`. This must be done in cases involving patients who still have an active life ahead.

 

However, in the case of super seniors who are past  80 and whose active life is behind them, it is important for doctors to advise the family of such patients about the pros and cons of the use of ventilators before deciding to administer the procedure.

 

There is another procedure called  `tracheostomy`. It is a surgical procedure creating an opening (stoma) in the trachea (windpipe) in the neck to allow for breathing through a tube. This procedure is often necessary when someone cannot breathe normally, usually due to a blockage or other airway issue. Even for this procedure, permission must be sought from the family by the doctors. Since the family wants to keep their dear one alive, they leave it to the doctor to decide. Invariably resulting in the prolonged stay of the patient in the ICU, with mounting hospital bills, adding tremendous stress to the caring family members without any idea about when the ordeal would end.

In cases where a senior citizen has a stroke resulting in oozing of blood in the brain, or any other terminally ill situations, and chances of such patients recovering to lead a normal life is very remote it is advisable to provide `Conservative management` instead of making the patient suffer the ordeal of ventilator support. It would be better for the family to take the patient home and treat them with prescribed medicines with full-time attendants, if necessary. The family should not hesitate to make this decision to allow their dear ones to exit from this world peacefully.

 

To enable the family to decide without feeling guilty, all senior citizens should prepare a living will, which allows the family  to make the right decision when it becomes necessary. As I have done. I have registered a living will, notarized by a notary public, in which I have made it clear to my children that they should not agree to put me under a ventilator or any other life support system. I have also indicated that they should not agree to an open heart surgery or even dialysis. If my time has come, they should allow me to exit this world with dignity.

 

It is time that seniors and their families understand the importance of a living will.

 

The pleasure of having grandchildren

 Grandparenthood is the greatest promotion one can get in life. There cannot be a bigger gift than getting a grandson or a granddaughter. I had the privilege of becoming a grandfather at 54 when my grandson Arul was born. I remember the day vividly. I was busy in the office in discussion with my Secretary, when I got a call informing me of the arrival of a baby boy - my first grandchild through my eldest daughter Kavitha & RU. I jumped with joy shouting `I have become a Thatha!` Arul arrived in this world seven weeks before my silver wedding anniversary. I had a grand function planned at the Savera Hotel. The invitation went in the name of Arul which carried a line at the end `No gifts please. My grandparents say I am the best gift they got for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.`

Since that day 29 years ago I have been blessed with five more grandchildren. Three grandsons and three granddaughters. Arul ( 29), Uthara(24), Nila(23), Keshav(22), and the two late arrivals – my resident grandchildren - 7 years old Thavam and 4 years old baby doll Bakthi. The lovely kids of my son are keeping me entertained and spreading joy around whenever I visit Chennai from Coimbatore.  However, I must confess that at 82,  I don't have the energy that I had 23 years ago to indulge them physically.

I am also no good at telling stories to my grandchildren as I find my memory has become rusty that I don`t remember all the details of our mythological classics like Ramayana or Mahabharata. When I attempt to narrate some stories from one of these epics, my grandson Thavam interrupts and says “You are wrong thatha… this is what happened…” and he goes on to complete the correct story which he has heard from his maternal grandmother, making me feel embarrassed. Some days I attempt to take the easy way out by reading stories from books. I find even that effort difficult as I feel exhausted by the time I read a story for 10 to 15 minutes. These days I have found another method to keep them engaged, We have a family group called `T & B` group in which I keep forwarding videos that will appeal to the kids. Whenever I am in Chennai and have time to spend time with the kids I show the videos to the kids. They keep watching them until they get bored and run away.

It was always good fun when all my children and grandchildren used to visit my home for a family get-together. But these days with the senior grandchildren away from their homes, pursuing careers of their choice it has become difficult to have such get-togethers. The last time we had such a get-together was on my 80^th Birthday. Even at that function one grandson was missing.

I am proud to say that the four senior grandkids, all talented in fields of their choice,  have grown into mature kids with their heads on their shoulders- I am sure the latest arrivals also will follow suit judging by the way my son Balaji and daughter in law Tulse are bringing them up. Please join me in blessing all my grandchildren with a bright future.

 

Yoga flash cards- an interesting gift idea!

I recently received a set of `Yoga flash cards` packed in a well-designed handy-size carton which can be used at home and is extremely convenient to carry around.  Perfect for travel. These thoughtfully designed cards, featuring 20 yoga poses in each pack,  offer guidance and motivation for practicing yoga, great for all levels. The front of each card guides you in practicing one asana and on the rear of the card you get the benefits of that particular asana and some more information on how to get enhanced benefits with that asana. The set also includes a fun interactive game.

Designed by my niece, Shwetha Srinivasan, a certified yoga instructor who has collaborated with Meghna Vaidynathan, a professional graphic designer to create these beautifully designed cards.

Shwetha says, “I started my yoga journey more than 10 years ago when I  first moved to Banglore after marriage. I joined a class nearby and loved practicing yoga and the positive impact it had on me. The same yoga studio later announced its teacher training program, and I jumped at the opportunity. When I completed the program, the studio offered me a position to teach. That's how my journey as a yoga instructor began”

Shwetha met Meghana more than 8 years back. She was a graphic designer working for a company in Chennai and Shwetha was a part-time yoga instructor at a studio in Chennai. When Shwetha came up with the idea for the flashcards, Meghna readily agreed.  The flashcards are a result of their combined efforts in the last year.

The cards make a unique and thoughtful gift. Gift your loved ones a pack today!  They are also great as return gifts for birthdays, baby showers, and more.

Priced at just 450/-  they are available with Shwetha: 9840318385

A traumatic experience

 After an embarrassing experience I had a few days ago, I would like to share with you a traumatic experience I had recently. Since I was planning to drive to Coimbatore in my car driven by a call driver on 11^th March, to save time I decided to go to the petrol bunk to fill the tank the  evening before. The attender noticed that the left rear wheel tire was low on air. As I had checked the tire pressures only two days earlier, I decided to go to the nearby puncture mechanic to find out If there was any problem with that tire.

 I parked the car opposite the shop, got out, and after ensuring that there was no vehicle in sight, started crossing the narrow road towards the shop. Out of nowhere, a cycle driven by a teenager came at breakneck speed knocking me down, with the cycle falling on me and the boy thrown out a couple of feet away. I was shocked beyond words. I was invoking the names of my favourite gods and trying to understand what was happening to me. A crowd gathered, the traffic stopped, and the boy was admonished for rash driving. Some good Samaritans helped me get up and stand on my wobbling feet. Another guy picked up my spectacles and mobile found on the road. Someone got me a glass of water and another asked me to check if I felt ok with my hands and legs. I was slowly escorted to the shop where I was made to sit on a chair in the shop. After ensuring that I was alright the crowd melted away and the traffic resumed.

Since I was dazed and in no condition to drive my car home, I called my son-in-law whose house was nearby, and sought his help. He arrived soon and took charge of the situation. He decided to not only check the defective tire but also the Stepney tire, since I was  going on a long trip the next day.  The mechanic found one puncture in the tire fitted on the vehicle and three punctures in the Stepney tire. After doing the necessary repairs and paying the mechanic for his timely service, my son-in-law drove me back to my home.

Despite the nasty accident, thanks to the Divine Grace, I had no collateral damage, not even a scratch on my body. Even my worry about having some hairline fracture was dispelled the next morning when I got up and found that there were no swellings anywhere. I decided to take the trip accompanied by my younger daughter in my car driven by the call driver.

As I always do, I started thinking about the positive side of this incident. But for my son-in-law`s help in ensuring that all the problems with tires were addressed, I could have faced serious problems on the road with a defective stepney, in case one of the other tires developed problems. Everything happens for the good as my old friend told me after a nasty accident we had in Bombay 60 years ago. Om Sairam!

A memorial meeting for Prabha

 It was a small function to inaugurate the renovated office room of the Balavadi which the Mangayarkarasi Mahalir Manram ( MMM- Sastri Nagar Ladies Club) was planning to revive after a gap of five years. Since Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation(PRTF) had sponsored the renovation cost, the new dynamic President of MMM Mrs Archana Ramasundaram {IPS Retd.) converted the occasion to a memorial meeting for Prabha. It was a pleasure listening to some old members recalling their association with Prabha as a soft-spoken person who was involved in all the activities of the Manram and did any job given to her with total commitment. I remembered that it was the Manram, apart from the Inner Wheel Club of Madras South, which opened up a whole new world to Prabha. The active involvement with these two institutions helped her come out of her shell and display her hidden talents as a writer, singer, and many other fields, emerging as an independent woman with an identity of her own. I was happy that my daughter Sowmya and granddaughter Uthara were present at the meeting. At the end of the meeting, on my special request, Uthara sang a Puranadara Dasa number in her melodious voice, delighting the audience. I must thank the managing committee of the Manram, particularly Mrs. Vanaja Krishnamurthy, the Vice-President of the Manram for giving me an opportunity to be associated with the project.

An embarrassing experience

 This happened a couple of days ago. Whenever I am in Chennai, if I am having lunch at home, I send the following message on  WhatsApp to my daughter-in-law who lives on the first floor of my independent home-   `Please give me whatever you are having for lunch`. As soon as I sent the message, she came to see me to tell me what she had done.  I thought she was responding to my message. I was happy and went to have my usual pre-lunch siesta, putting my mobile on silent mode. When I woke up and switched on my mobile, I was surprised to see several missed calls from a friend`s wife. When I called her, she screamed at me ``Where are you? We have been trying to reach you for the last 30 minutes without luck. Hope you are ok? As per your message, I have only cooked a simple meal and eagerly waiting for you to join us for lunch

I retorted, `I never sent you any message. My daughter-in-law has already kept my lunch on my dining table. Besides I am tired, I am in no mood to go out.`

She promptly forwarded the message I sent her. Immediately I realized that the same message was what I had sent my daughter-in-law. When I checked my daughter-in-law`s WA page , I found my message missing and found it on my friend`s WA page. I had inadvertently sent the message to my friend instead of my daughter-in-law. I immediately called my friend, profusely apologized for the big goof up, and promised to reach their home in the next ten minutes to have lunch with them. I decided to have the lunch given by my daughter-in-law for dinner and rushed to my friend`s place, a five-minute drive from my place.

When I reached their home, they told me how they were worried that something serious had happened to me and were planning to visit me to physically find out if I needed any help.  I cringed and felt like going under the table. I once again apologized. I had a hearty meal and spent some pleasant time with the couple.

All's well that ends well.

PS: Always double-check the mobile to ensure that your messages are reaching the right person. Imagine some very personal information meant for a near and dear one reaching the wrong person! It will also help to make a correction if the prompter in the mobile used a wrong word instead of what you intended to.