IS OLD AGE A CURSE?

 I was visiting an old friend after a long time. Our friendship goes back to our school days. It was a typical middle-class home where my friend`s father, a nonagenarian, was also staying. Because of a paralytic attack he had suffered a few years back, he could not speak, nor could he see properly. However, when I was introduced to him, he held my hands tightly and started crying. My friend told me that since the passing away of my friend`s mother a year ago,  his father had become depressed.  He was often seen cursing his fate for keeping him alive while many younger people around him were dying. Obviously, old age was a curse to him.

Another old couple was living alone in a flat. They were being looked after by their only son, who was settled in the USA. Though the son had made all the arrangements through an `anytime- any problem` service provider to look after his parents,  they were missing him and his personal care whenever there was an emergency. In their old age, they were not keen to live in the USA, because of the isolation they felt there, without social interaction with friends. In weaker moments, they were also cursing their fate. I also know of cases where the old people were tortured with verbal and sometimes physical abuse by their children, who had themselves become senior citizens and were unable to cope with the enormous stress caused by their ailing old parents.

I can narrate a few more such cases where old people considered old age a curse. But talking to my friends in Nana Nani,  the  senior citizen home where I am settled now, I found many felt that old age is not a curse but a blessing.

Samji (82), is very clear that old age is not a curse but a boon! A corporate honcho who worked in a very senior position in a multinational company he had no time to discover his hidden talents while in service.

He says, ‘ My retirement gave me a lot of freedom. Since I have fulfilled all my family responsibilities and my children are well settled in life,  I can now live for myself. I have the freedom to travel as I like, visiting many countries, and having new experiences”.

 After the sudden death of his wife, he got into a deep depression. With the help of a friend, when he was recovering from it, he discovered his writing talent, The success of his first `self-help book` made him try writing novels. Inspired by a detective thriller in English, he tried his hand at writing suspense thrillers in Tamil. His experience as an engineer and his knowledge of our scriptures and religion helped him come up with credible stories. He also started  writing  poems in Tamil. Within seven years of his stay in the community, he has published eight books ( six of them thrillers), written more than 100 poems and 30 short stories. A self-taught A/V expert, he has also successfully scripted, directed and produced several short films in Tamil, featuring talented residents as actors, which have been well received by the appreciative audience in Nana Nani.

“All these are happening because of the total freedom I am enjoying to do what I want. Besides, I feel healthy for my age, which allows me to be very active both physically and mentally. Old age, far from being a curse is a golden period – olden age is  golden age!”

Vasanthi Sampatkumar (77) who moved to the Senior Citizen Home with her husband eight years ago says,“While in general old age seems like a curse due to  sickness,  immobility,  loneliness,  emotional trauma of staying away from children etc, it can be a blessing because old age gives you the freedom to indulge in passions for which you had no time when you were busy running a family and bringing up children. With proper planning for retirement, if  you are financially secure  and fulfilled all your family responsibilities, old age can be fun”

 “Is Old age a CURSE? Emphatically NO!” says Narayanan (81), another retiree from a corporate job who moved to the same Senior Citizen Home with his talented wife, four years ago.

He added, “Old age can be pleasant for both men and women who are fully prepared financially and want to lead an independent life without responsibilities. Besides their wealth of experience, knowledge, and maturity make them respectable and lovable, both in the society as well as the family. Old age is a boon for those who can lead a life in a community, sans ego, being friendly with others  and exhibiting genuine concern and care for others who need them”

Vijaya Rajagopal (79), with two children well settled in life, lost her husband early in life. She was a teacher running a school for kids in Pune. To spend her twilight years in peace, she decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home,  where she found the ambience and the vibrant community living in the complex to her liking. Despite indifferent health and mobility problems, she says, “Old age is not a curse if you can lead a life without depending on anyone one, including your children. Keep yourself active both physically and mentally.  Also, learn to be happy in any situation and make other people happy with your acts and deeds.”

Here is my take on the subject: Old age is a curse for those who have not done proper planning for their retirement and are dependent on their children for everything.  Prolonged illness adds to the burden on their children and makes the old parents feel miserable.

On the other hand those who are financially secure and are in a position to lead an independent life, the situation is different.  Focusing on a healthy lifestyle, maintaining a positive outlook, and embracing new experiences  helps such people find a new meaning in life. If they can pursue their passions for which they had no time earlier, build strong social connections and consider ways to contribute to others, they would find life more enjoyable.

In my old age (83), I am enjoying my new avatar as a writer/author while following a policy of making at least one person happy every day. I have discovered the joy of giving- sharing my resources, both in terms of cash and kind, for the benefit of those in  need.  I have learnt to live and manage the shifting pains that come with old age. I am leading a stress-free life- happy and contented, waiting impatiently for the final departure call from my maker. I hate when people bless me and want me to live for a hundred years. Because I know that the longer I live, I cannot escape the health & other related problems that old age could inflict on me. Old age is not a curse but a blessing if the Lord above takes you with your shoes on!