Since I left Bombay in 1971, after spending 29 years of my early life, I have visited the city several times on official trips to attend some function or the other. But the recent trip that Prabha and I made to the maximum city was truly a trip down memory lane. Made very comfortable by my three host couples Raju & Gita; Gopal & Hema and Raja & Rama with whom we stayed during the nine days we spent in Bombay- nay `Mumbai`.
Apart from the two fun filled get-togethers with my school friends and old colleagues from Clarion Advertising where I started my advertising career, the most memorable day was the morning Prabha and I spent walking around Matunga, the Little Madras where I had spent 26 years out of the 29 years I was in Bombay.
We started the walk with a visit to the Asthika Samaj and Bhajana Samaj – the two oldest and popular temples of the area. Asthika Samaj has obviously got more idols installed over the years – compared to Bhajana Samaj which still displays a huge framed picture of … in the main sanctum sanctorum.
As we were coming out of Asthika Samaj, I saw the familiar board of ‘Zenith Art Studio’ a popular photo studio of the area. I decided to visit the studio and give a surprise to Harish, the cheerful Marwari owner of the studio with whom I was very close because of my interest in photography.We walked up the stairs following the sign board which led to a corner room on the first floor where a man was standing outside the door. I told him that I was looking for my old friend, whom I had not seen for 45 years.He opened the door of the small 6 ft. x 10 ft room and pointed out at a figure lying on a bed and said, ‘This is Harish’.
I was shocked beyond words. Because the person I remembered was a young man in his late thirties, sporting a smart black moustache, always wearing a white kurta & pyjama and bubbling with enthusiasm. The body lying on the cot was that of a very old man, with a bushy white moustache, grey hair on his head and very much in pain. When he saw me he could not recognize me immediately because even I had changed over the four decades shedding most of the curly hair on my pate but adding on a lot of weight in the middle. But when I spelt out my name and recalled the connection, I saw some recognition in his eyes. He held both my hands and started sobbing. I became emotional too! But I controlled myself and told him that I had specially come to visit him and pay my respects. Again he started sobbing. Since he could not speak, I found it difficult to continue my conversation. After wishing him well I came out of the room and asked the attendant outside the room, what had happened to Harish? He refused to reveal much, except to say that the studio had changed hands and someone else was running the business. Since his fall from the bed Harish had become confined to bed. He did not know much about the family. I came down the stairs with mixed feelings. Happy that at least I could see Harish alive but sad that he had fallen into bad times and was suffering in his old age! I don’t know whether the tears that he shed were tears of joy in seeing an old friend or tears of embarrassment.
* * * * * * * * * *
After the visit to Harish, as we were walking along the road, I pointed out to Prabha the various landmark shops (Laxmi Jewellery, Laxmi Silks, Brijwasi, etc.) which were still there as I had seen them for over 40 years. I pointed out at the building complex where the famous Matunga Don ‘Varadabai’ used to live and run his underworld empire. A person, whom I had seen as an ordinary rice smuggler, who became a powerful don controlling large parts of Central Bombay. He was also the subject of the famous Mani Rathnam movie ‘Nayagan’ featuring Kamal Hassan in the lead role.
Two major changes I noticed in Matunga – the no. of cars parked on either sides of all roads and bylanes making the movement of vehicles and pedestrians difficult. The other thing is the composition of the crowd walking around. The real “Madrasis’- the `mamas` and `mamis` seem to have all moved to better accomodations in suburbs like Mulund, Chembur, Ghatkopar, Dombivli, Thane and of course Navi Mumbai.
I showed Prabha the building where my old school was located, opposite the twin Napoo Gardens. While the school building is there minus the school, Napoo Garden has undergone some changes – concrete compound walls replacing the earlier steel railings. One ground has been retained as a play ground while the other one has been converted into a beautiful landscaped garden. I remember the time when the popular film star, Chief Minister of TN – MGR came to address a public meeting at the Napoo Garden.
We then visited Sharadha Bhavan, the Udipi restaurant opposite to Matunga station which has not changed at all but the quality of the dishes served by them has definitely come down. The restaurant still sells its famous Sharada Bhava Mixture a savoury item very popular among South Indians. Cheddha Stores which used to be a small grocery stores has transformed into a multiple (shop) grocery and general stores, where you shop in air conditioned comfort for all types of Gujarathi Snacks including my favourite Teplas, Kakras, Kandvis and Dhoklas.
On the way to my old college, we stepped into the Gulshan Irani Restaurant. While the interior looked the same, outside the restaurant they have an open air fast food joint dishing out all the junk foods popular with the younger generation.
* * * * * * * * * *
The visit to the Podar College ( where I did my B.Com) was a bit of disappointment. There was a wedding happening in the famous College Auditorium (where my own wedding reception had been held 39 years ago) and the building itself was very crowded with thousands of students, who had come to participate in an inter collegiate event.
The college Swadeshi Stores on the mezzanine floor ( where I used to literally live for two years) has been replaced by the NSS office and I could not find a single familiar face. I realised that 45 years is a long gap for me to expect known faces. Later I heard most of the popular professors of my time – Prof. Tole, Prof. Phutane, Prof. Bapat etc. are no more. I came out of the college a little sad because there was hardly anything in the college to help me connect with the old time, except the building.
The Matunga Gymkhana Grounds bang opposite the college, now has a short compound wall running right across the length of the ground with hundreds of boys and girls sitting and chatting. During my time, in the absence of the compound wall, the boys of Podar college used to sit on the footpath on either sides of the road, ogling the girls from Ruia college passing by.
The cricket pitch, right in the centre of the ground, where my friend Jayaraman and I used to spend long hours in the evenings lying on our backs, staring at the stars and dreaming about our future, is still there!
After a quick bite at the ever popular Mani’s Cafe opposite Ruia College and a courtesy call on my old class mate K.K.Mani, we landed at the old chawl building where I had spent 26 years. The building looks more dilapidated with the front side having a no. of shops serving the student community coming out of the adjacent Matunga Station in thousands to attend the two colleges and several schools in the neighbourhood.
The main purpose of the visit to the chawl was to spend some time with an old couple, living in one of the rooms, whom I had known from my childhood.
The floor which has nine rooms looked totally deserted – in my younger days the floor would be always busy and noisy with scores of children running around and playing . Now only some of the rooms have tenants living as the tenants of the other rooms have moved up in life and shifted to better apartments without giving up their claims on the rooms in the chawl.
While the exterior of the chawl was depressing, the meeting with the old couple was even more depressing. The old man in his early eighties and the lady in her seventies were a picture of desolation. Both were ill, finding it tough to manage their own affairs and barely able to help each other. The son’s family was in the Middle East and the daughter, though living in Bombay, could not be of much help due to her own busy life. Prabha and I decided to listen to the old couple venting their frustrations. Though any no. of relatives lived in the neighbourhood, it seems nobody visited them to enquire how they were fairing.
It was a very lonely life, with nothing to look forward to except waiting for the call from the maker of the world. It was indeed a sad story, very common among the thousands of NRI parents, living in metropolitan cities of the country.
The couple was extremely happy that we spent so much time with them. Prabha and I were equally happy that we could bring some cheer to their otherwise boring life.
The nostalgic trip to Matunga after nearly 40 years made me feel more sad than happy. Sad to realise that not only people age, but even places age, not necessarily gracefully.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
RVR Autobio- excerpts -V (Calcutta Days))
Calcutta Days
I reported to Mr. Subash Sen, one of the Directors and founders of Clarion who was in charge of training. I got an accommodation in Murugan Lodge near the Lake market, in South Calcutta, which I shared with four other bachelors, thanks to the help provided by Nath, one of the assistant executives in the company. I had my breakfast and dinner at the Murugan Restaurant nearby, run by the same management. Since Clarion was offering subsidized lunch for its staff I decided to have lunch in the office from then on.
On the first day at lunch, I ordered a plate of vegetable curry and rice. I was quite hungry and ready to attack the meal, when I found some¬thing fishy in the curry. When I questioned the bearer, he responded with a sheepish grin and a typical Bengali accent, “Sir, phish is bege¬tarian in Bengal”.
Another incident on the second day of my stint in Clarion, Calcutta almost cost me my job! Every morning, the staff, including the Directors must stand in a queue, waiting to sign the attendance register located at the reception desk. On the very first day, at my request, the Anglo Indian receptionist had taught me how to say ‘Good Morning’ in Bengali. So the next day, I wished Mr. S N Banerjee, the MD who was standing behind me “Aami Thomake Balo Bashi”. Instead of being happy I found his dark face turning red and he asked me “Who taught you Bengali?” Later I found out that instead of ‘Good Morning’ in Bengali, I was telling him “I Love You”. I could see through the corner of my eyes, the receptionist going under the table. Thanks to other Directors who realized that I had been taken for a ride, I was bailed out. After this episode a friend advised me to buy an English-Bengali self instructor, which I did and started learning important sentences in Bengali. For practice, I would take the tram and try to read all the shop signs on the way. Even today with some difficulty, I can read the headlines of Bengali newspapers.
In Clarion, it was important to know Bengali because, except the Managers, all others down the line replied to you in Bengali, even if you had asked them a question in English. This knowledge of a few essential Bengali sentences helps me strike a chord with Bengalis wherever I go.
I reported to Mr. Subash Sen, one of the Directors and founders of Clarion who was in charge of training. I got an accommodation in Murugan Lodge near the Lake market, in South Calcutta, which I shared with four other bachelors, thanks to the help provided by Nath, one of the assistant executives in the company. I had my breakfast and dinner at the Murugan Restaurant nearby, run by the same management. Since Clarion was offering subsidized lunch for its staff I decided to have lunch in the office from then on.
On the first day at lunch, I ordered a plate of vegetable curry and rice. I was quite hungry and ready to attack the meal, when I found some¬thing fishy in the curry. When I questioned the bearer, he responded with a sheepish grin and a typical Bengali accent, “Sir, phish is bege¬tarian in Bengal”.
Another incident on the second day of my stint in Clarion, Calcutta almost cost me my job! Every morning, the staff, including the Directors must stand in a queue, waiting to sign the attendance register located at the reception desk. On the very first day, at my request, the Anglo Indian receptionist had taught me how to say ‘Good Morning’ in Bengali. So the next day, I wished Mr. S N Banerjee, the MD who was standing behind me “Aami Thomake Balo Bashi”. Instead of being happy I found his dark face turning red and he asked me “Who taught you Bengali?” Later I found out that instead of ‘Good Morning’ in Bengali, I was telling him “I Love You”. I could see through the corner of my eyes, the receptionist going under the table. Thanks to other Directors who realized that I had been taken for a ride, I was bailed out. After this episode a friend advised me to buy an English-Bengali self instructor, which I did and started learning important sentences in Bengali. For practice, I would take the tram and try to read all the shop signs on the way. Even today with some difficulty, I can read the headlines of Bengali newspapers.
In Clarion, it was important to know Bengali because, except the Managers, all others down the line replied to you in Bengali, even if you had asked them a question in English. This knowledge of a few essential Bengali sentences helps me strike a chord with Bengalis wherever I go.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Forgetting- A Disease?
‘Forgive & Forget’ goes the old saying. But people affected by your forgetfulness are not willing to forgive you. Forgetfulness is a disease which every human being experiences in his / her life time. The disease generally is expected to attack people in their old age. But these days, even small kids complain of forgetfulness – not just what they have read for the exams but even the simple instructions that their parents give them.
The most common loss of memory relates to birthdays and wedding anniversaries. How many times you are waiting for a call from your son, daughter or spouse wishing you a happy birthday or anniversary but the call never comes or the gift never arrives! You feel so miserable. Shamelessly you call the person yourself and try to give enough hints but still the near or dear one does not respond – making you even more miserable!
There are people who believe in taking the`bull by the horns` and tell the person concerned about the important date and demand a gift! My wife has taken an interesting route to solve the problem. She buys the gift that she thinks she deserves for her birthday / wedding anniversary and tactfully presents the bill to me on the D day – knowing pretty well that I will not reject it. Clever, don’t you agree?
The following kind of forgetfulness causes you embarrassment on a day to day basis: You ring up a no. but forget what no. you dialed. And hesitantly ask the person who picks up the phone ` Sorry, What no.is this?`. Often the response would be furious: ` you dialed the no., you should know`. And the phone is disconnected. The most frequent embarrassment I face is when I ring up some body and say `Sorry Ganesh, I forgot what I called you for. Will call again when I remember!`. The embarrassment is greater when I forget the name of a friend with whom I am having a serious conversation and suddenly I am expected to introduce him to another friend who joins the conversation , whose name also I have forgotten. At such moments I just wish I could vanish in thin air!
And there are instances of forgetfulness which are ridiculous:- Like searching for your spectacles all over the house when it is safely tucked up on your forehead! Or religiously prepare a check list of things that you want to buy but forget to take it with you when you go for shopping. The most common form of forgetfulness is when you keep something safely in a place and forget where you kept it when you need it urgently. Oh1 The list is endless!
Sometimes your forgetfulness can create a havoc or lead to a major or minor crisis in your life!
I want to share with you an incident from my life 25 years ago – when I was panic stricken because of a temporary memory loss!
I had gone to Gorakhpur in Eastern UP for a visit to make a surprise check on an audio visual campaign for a tyre company which was to start the following day in a nearby village. Since I had checked into the hotel early and my evening was free, I decided to see the evening show of the movie ‘Ardh Sathya’ featuring actor Ompuri ,in a cinema hall - a few kms away from the hotel. I took a cycle rickshaw with just enough cash required for the evening outing.
The movie started and as I was beginning to get engrossed in the movie, suddenly I realised that I could not remember the name of the hotel where I had checked in nor the address of the hotel. In spite of scratching my brain hard, I just could not recall the name.
I started imagining the worst- lost on the streets of Gorakhpur, running from street to street to locate the hotel late into the night, sleeping on the footpath. With poor telecom facilities prevailing then ( no mobiles for instant connectivity ), the idea of checking with my colleague back in Chennai, at that hour, did not seem practical. I did not know any other soul in the town and even the address of the local dealer was safe in my brief case, in the hotel. It was one of the worst 60 minutes I spent in my life before the intermission came.
As I moved out of the auditorium to get a cup of tea in the makeshift restaurant inside the cinema hall, I suddenly saw the familiar face of the supervisor of the AV van operator whose team had also come to watch the movie in the same theatre. Without wasting any time on formalities I asked the guy whether he remembered the name of the hotel where I have checked in. He gave me a funny look and told me that the team was supposed to report to me next morning at Hotel Bambino on so & so street, where I was supposed to be staying.
I thanked him profusely and sheepishly told him about my temporary amnesia and we all had a hearty laugh. Needless to say that I watched the rest of the movie with total peace of mind.
The offshoot of that experience is the recurring dream I have - of getting lost in a strange place without cash, without contacts and walking around in my underpants while everybody is staring at me! This is a nightmare I am trying to forget – but it doesn’t seem to leave me even after 25 years!!
The most common loss of memory relates to birthdays and wedding anniversaries. How many times you are waiting for a call from your son, daughter or spouse wishing you a happy birthday or anniversary but the call never comes or the gift never arrives! You feel so miserable. Shamelessly you call the person yourself and try to give enough hints but still the near or dear one does not respond – making you even more miserable!
There are people who believe in taking the`bull by the horns` and tell the person concerned about the important date and demand a gift! My wife has taken an interesting route to solve the problem. She buys the gift that she thinks she deserves for her birthday / wedding anniversary and tactfully presents the bill to me on the D day – knowing pretty well that I will not reject it. Clever, don’t you agree?
The following kind of forgetfulness causes you embarrassment on a day to day basis: You ring up a no. but forget what no. you dialed. And hesitantly ask the person who picks up the phone ` Sorry, What no.is this?`. Often the response would be furious: ` you dialed the no., you should know`. And the phone is disconnected. The most frequent embarrassment I face is when I ring up some body and say `Sorry Ganesh, I forgot what I called you for. Will call again when I remember!`. The embarrassment is greater when I forget the name of a friend with whom I am having a serious conversation and suddenly I am expected to introduce him to another friend who joins the conversation , whose name also I have forgotten. At such moments I just wish I could vanish in thin air!
And there are instances of forgetfulness which are ridiculous:- Like searching for your spectacles all over the house when it is safely tucked up on your forehead! Or religiously prepare a check list of things that you want to buy but forget to take it with you when you go for shopping. The most common form of forgetfulness is when you keep something safely in a place and forget where you kept it when you need it urgently. Oh1 The list is endless!
Sometimes your forgetfulness can create a havoc or lead to a major or minor crisis in your life!
I want to share with you an incident from my life 25 years ago – when I was panic stricken because of a temporary memory loss!
I had gone to Gorakhpur in Eastern UP for a visit to make a surprise check on an audio visual campaign for a tyre company which was to start the following day in a nearby village. Since I had checked into the hotel early and my evening was free, I decided to see the evening show of the movie ‘Ardh Sathya’ featuring actor Ompuri ,in a cinema hall - a few kms away from the hotel. I took a cycle rickshaw with just enough cash required for the evening outing.
The movie started and as I was beginning to get engrossed in the movie, suddenly I realised that I could not remember the name of the hotel where I had checked in nor the address of the hotel. In spite of scratching my brain hard, I just could not recall the name.
I started imagining the worst- lost on the streets of Gorakhpur, running from street to street to locate the hotel late into the night, sleeping on the footpath. With poor telecom facilities prevailing then ( no mobiles for instant connectivity ), the idea of checking with my colleague back in Chennai, at that hour, did not seem practical. I did not know any other soul in the town and even the address of the local dealer was safe in my brief case, in the hotel. It was one of the worst 60 minutes I spent in my life before the intermission came.
As I moved out of the auditorium to get a cup of tea in the makeshift restaurant inside the cinema hall, I suddenly saw the familiar face of the supervisor of the AV van operator whose team had also come to watch the movie in the same theatre. Without wasting any time on formalities I asked the guy whether he remembered the name of the hotel where I have checked in. He gave me a funny look and told me that the team was supposed to report to me next morning at Hotel Bambino on so & so street, where I was supposed to be staying.
I thanked him profusely and sheepishly told him about my temporary amnesia and we all had a hearty laugh. Needless to say that I watched the rest of the movie with total peace of mind.
The offshoot of that experience is the recurring dream I have - of getting lost in a strange place without cash, without contacts and walking around in my underpants while everybody is staring at me! This is a nightmare I am trying to forget – but it doesn’t seem to leave me even after 25 years!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Little Joys of life
Life is full of ups and downs. There are periods when we feel on top of the world and there are occasions when we are down in the dumps. Nobody, just no one, is spared this life cycle.
But irrespective of the phases of life that we go through, we do derive pleasures through little things that we do and experience on a day to day basis, which make our life worth living. I am listing below a few things which constitute the little joys of my life.
Getting up early (4 am) with a spring on my feet. These days I have to be careful lest I twist my feet while jumping out from the bed!
Completing the morning chores before Prabha gets up. Keeping a hot cup of `Kumbakonam degree coffee` ready for her! She will invariably cool the coffee under the fan before she starts sipping the strong brew.
Using the golden hour to do some thinking and writing with Carnatinc music playing on the radio (Rainbow FM) in the background!
Going for a morning walk on the beautiful Elliot Beach Road in Chennai, breathing fresh air and watching the sun rise, (except when the clouds play spoil sport!). It is also fun watching people of different sizes and shapes crossing you with their idiosynchrasis on full display. These days you have to contend with many of them talking loudly to themselves- actually they are busy talking on their `hands off` mobiles!
Shopping in general (!) but particularly shopping for vegetables keeping in mind a pre-determined menu. Cutting the vegetables ready for cooking (yes! I have been doing this regularly for the last 10 years)
Cooking a meal whenever Prabha permits me to enter the kitchen. I am willing to do this on a daily basis because it is a creative pursuit and a great stress buster (though after retirement I dont have any stress to burst!). But unfortunately my presence in the kitchen creates great stress on Prabha. So I have to contend being a Sunday cook!
Making a check list of things to be done for the day every morning and reviewing the same at the end of the day – feeling happy if I have managed to complete more than 50% of the checklist. It is another thing that my check list is reduced to just a dozen items as compared to the list running to several pages in my hay days!
Making people happy – with little acts which touches them, very often when the person is least expecting it. Like a simple compliment, a little gift or suggestion for getting over a problem. Seeing the surprised happiness on the faces of a coolie or an auto driver, or any skilled labourer as and when I pay them a little more than what they are demanding (if it is a reasonable amount they are demanding)
Like partying and giving parties – prefer to host my dinners at home where I can flaunt my well equipped bar to guests, especially those who love the cup that cheers. Old age and fatigue have brought down such occasions drastically! My bar also looks considerably depleted?
At the club bars which I visit for my occasional drink alone, I enjoy sitting on the bar stool nourishing a drink while reading a newspaper / magazine available at the bar! Needless to say that I am an oddity at the bar.
I enjoy the company of youth. They make me feel young. Because of this I enjoy teaching which helps me to be in constant touch with the younger generation. It tickles my ego when they compliment me on my high energy levels and my passion for the subject I am dealing with.. Though I know that they are not telling the truth when they say that I don’t look my age?
Love to travel seeing new countries and new places, meeting people from diverse traditions / cultures. Though I am often accused of visiting a place only to tick it in my list by Prabha who enjoys savouring new places, wanting to know every detail about the new place.
I love the ‘man vasanai’ – the smell of earth immediately after the first rain of the season
I love to go to hill stations for holidays more than the beach resorts (since I see the sea everyday during my walks)
I love to visit temples when they are least crowded so that I can have total concentration on the presiding deity of the temple. I find too many distractions on festival days.
I love reading books more than watching television. My choice is biographies or fiction by Indian authors in English. Like to read one book at a time and get totally immersed in the world of the characters described in the book!
I love to take on big projects and see them executed well with the help of a dedicated team. I find I am generally good at identifying the right man for the right job
I enjoy problems and challenges. There is no greater joy than what I feel after taking on a problem like the proverbial `bull by the horns` and leaving it behind after taming it No wonder I am known as` Crisis Rajan `- I don`t create the crisis but solve it!
Enjoying family get togethers – especially when all my children / grand children spend time together at home / outstations. Though I find that the grandchildren who are becoming adolescents, whose priorities have changed, have no space for grand parents.
With so many things to keep me positively focused, I have have never experienced boredom in my life! This is the secret of my positive approach to life!
But irrespective of the phases of life that we go through, we do derive pleasures through little things that we do and experience on a day to day basis, which make our life worth living. I am listing below a few things which constitute the little joys of my life.
Getting up early (4 am) with a spring on my feet. These days I have to be careful lest I twist my feet while jumping out from the bed!
Completing the morning chores before Prabha gets up. Keeping a hot cup of `Kumbakonam degree coffee` ready for her! She will invariably cool the coffee under the fan before she starts sipping the strong brew.
Using the golden hour to do some thinking and writing with Carnatinc music playing on the radio (Rainbow FM) in the background!
Going for a morning walk on the beautiful Elliot Beach Road in Chennai, breathing fresh air and watching the sun rise, (except when the clouds play spoil sport!). It is also fun watching people of different sizes and shapes crossing you with their idiosynchrasis on full display. These days you have to contend with many of them talking loudly to themselves- actually they are busy talking on their `hands off` mobiles!
Shopping in general (!) but particularly shopping for vegetables keeping in mind a pre-determined menu. Cutting the vegetables ready for cooking (yes! I have been doing this regularly for the last 10 years)
Cooking a meal whenever Prabha permits me to enter the kitchen. I am willing to do this on a daily basis because it is a creative pursuit and a great stress buster (though after retirement I dont have any stress to burst!). But unfortunately my presence in the kitchen creates great stress on Prabha. So I have to contend being a Sunday cook!
Making a check list of things to be done for the day every morning and reviewing the same at the end of the day – feeling happy if I have managed to complete more than 50% of the checklist. It is another thing that my check list is reduced to just a dozen items as compared to the list running to several pages in my hay days!
Making people happy – with little acts which touches them, very often when the person is least expecting it. Like a simple compliment, a little gift or suggestion for getting over a problem. Seeing the surprised happiness on the faces of a coolie or an auto driver, or any skilled labourer as and when I pay them a little more than what they are demanding (if it is a reasonable amount they are demanding)
Like partying and giving parties – prefer to host my dinners at home where I can flaunt my well equipped bar to guests, especially those who love the cup that cheers. Old age and fatigue have brought down such occasions drastically! My bar also looks considerably depleted?
At the club bars which I visit for my occasional drink alone, I enjoy sitting on the bar stool nourishing a drink while reading a newspaper / magazine available at the bar! Needless to say that I am an oddity at the bar.
I enjoy the company of youth. They make me feel young. Because of this I enjoy teaching which helps me to be in constant touch with the younger generation. It tickles my ego when they compliment me on my high energy levels and my passion for the subject I am dealing with.. Though I know that they are not telling the truth when they say that I don’t look my age?
Love to travel seeing new countries and new places, meeting people from diverse traditions / cultures. Though I am often accused of visiting a place only to tick it in my list by Prabha who enjoys savouring new places, wanting to know every detail about the new place.
I love the ‘man vasanai’ – the smell of earth immediately after the first rain of the season
I love to go to hill stations for holidays more than the beach resorts (since I see the sea everyday during my walks)
I love to visit temples when they are least crowded so that I can have total concentration on the presiding deity of the temple. I find too many distractions on festival days.
I love reading books more than watching television. My choice is biographies or fiction by Indian authors in English. Like to read one book at a time and get totally immersed in the world of the characters described in the book!
I love to take on big projects and see them executed well with the help of a dedicated team. I find I am generally good at identifying the right man for the right job
I enjoy problems and challenges. There is no greater joy than what I feel after taking on a problem like the proverbial `bull by the horns` and leaving it behind after taming it No wonder I am known as` Crisis Rajan `- I don`t create the crisis but solve it!
Enjoying family get togethers – especially when all my children / grand children spend time together at home / outstations. Though I find that the grandchildren who are becoming adolescents, whose priorities have changed, have no space for grand parents.
With so many things to keep me positively focused, I have have never experienced boredom in my life! This is the secret of my positive approach to life!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tributes to a mother and a wife
`KADAMBAM`- A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES IN TAMIL BY MY WIFE PRABHA WAS LAUNCHED ON 31ST JULY. COINCIDING WITH THE EVENT MY DAUGHTERS SOWMYA AND KAVITA DECIDED TO PAY TRIBUTES TO THEIR MOTHER. THIS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE ABOUT MY WIFE OF 38 YEARS!READ ON!
MY MOTHER IS 60!!
My Mother is 60....so what does that make me....
Yep...thats right...you got it...OLD!!!
Now this is not about me, it's about her all the way.
As I flash back, I remember many incidents...some funny, some sad, some thrilling, some mundane, and mostly that she was always there....
Most of my memories of my mother is of her diligently working at something or the other, either at the kitchen, or in the garden, or in our rooms. No wonder she could maintain our spacious house single handedly!
I remember our first house, a huge sprawling one, with an even bigger garden. That's probably why she developed a passion for plants, perforce having to tend to such a big garden, the natural nurturer in her took over!
I remember the wallop my sister and I got when we got wet in the rain one afternoon!! Now I have to constantly remind myself that, when my son insists on running into the rain....
I remember how my mother took one look at my brother and the hanging arm, broken while imitating spiderman (or was that superman?), quickly pushed it back into place..yes very much like she had some training from Puttur (a place famous for repairing broken bones in Tamilnadu!!) and slinging it neatly with a towel. The doctor was so impressed, he simply had to x-ray and place the plaster!
I remember her encounters with snakes, the way she handled them would put the Korava community to shame! ( Probably teach Greg Martin a lesson or two!). The curry leaf plant harbours green tree snakes ( harmless apparently) and if you are not careful you could pluck it along with a whole branch of leaves too. Which she did.
Luckily she spotted it as it was trying to slither its way out and into our dining room, while I sat frozen in time, with my second born on my lap, about 2 feet away from all this action. She held on for dear life...yes she actually was holding the snake....superwoman....and finally managed to push it into a polythene bag!
What still stands out for me is that at this point is that the only male available (why do we look for a male?!!...dont ask me why... its a conditioning!) was our dhobi (ironwallah ), who happened to be at the door. He actually refused to hold the bag with the snake, and it took my mother and me quite a bit of convincing to make him take the bag and discard its content in some far off place!!
I remember the many, many meals she has cooked, and still keeps cooking for us based solely on our desire to eat it, or our preference. Every time I am amazed at this, this enthusiasm to feed us never wanes!!
I remember the many talks and chats we have had, much to my father's jealousy!! As I donned different roles, the relationship with her too gained different shades. Sometimes the empathy was rewarding, sometimes the criticism was irritating. Yet her presence and her opinion, which I take for granted many times, always has a bearing on my actions. As I try to balance the values given to me by her with my own individual identity.
Motherhood is never understood until one lives through it. Perspective, time and maturity are great educators.
I remember...that motherhood is how I will always remember my mother.
Happy Healthy Life Mom!
Happy Birthday!
By Sowmya Srinivasan
MY MOTHER (speech delivered at Prabha`s book launch)
I have been given the task of speaking about my mother this evening. It feels strange to talk to an audience about someone whose presence I’ve taken for granted, all my life! Where can I start?
Well like all good stories….once upon a time…….. there was a girl who was the youngest, in a family of four kids. She lost her dad when she was just 21 days old. My grandmother, who was barely educated and just in her 20’s took the decision of leaving her in laws and raising her 4 kids on her own.
Looking back, from the perspective of my own secure and happy child hood, it must have been difficult for my grandmother, bringing up 4 kids on my grandfather’s meager pension, moving from one rented house to the other, in Chennai and still trying to give her kids a decent life and education.
But I’ve only heard happy accounts of her young life from my mother. Of long walks to school and college, and happy times on the terrace of a house in Kutcheri road, making fun of neighbour’s kids and studying with her siblings. She studied mathematics in college, and I always make fun of my mother, that all her kolams are influenced by that – they are always made up of circles, squares and triangles! And at the back of my mind, I’ve always felt that her mathematics background had something to do with her rigid adherence to rules, time tables and routines.
Well to continue… my mother married my father RV Rajan, a high profile executive of an ad agency…well settled with a car and house in Delhi. Though she must have been the envy of all the young married and unmarried women , It must have been a difficult transition to make. Having to settle in a strange city, not knowing the language and facing all the challenges that my dad threw at her from time to time. I’ve heard the account of how my father wanted my mother to cook for 25 people in the first month of their marriage. And she had never stepped in to the kitchen before her wedding! But my mother rose to the challenge with the one tool that she uses time and again to overcome any problem – Hard work! She woke up at 5 and started cutting the onions , worked through the day with her meenakshiammal cook book and managed to serve dinner on time- no mean achievement for a novice!
My Parents moved to Chennai, where my sister, my brother and I were born.I remember our first house, a huge sprawling one in Shastri Nagar, with an even bigger garden. My dad was always travelling, so my mother was left with 3 kids alone in the huge house. At nights it would get pitch dark outside. But I don’t remember my mother being scared, or agitated. I think she took refuge in cleaning every corner of the house – to keep her mind occupied!
In the busy – ness of raising a family, looking after In laws and innumerable guests, she must have felt stressed and unappreciated. This forced her to write a long letter to my dad about all that she was feeling. And my dad – the typical advertising man that he was , decided to go and publish the letter ! Of course with my mother’s permission . (I must say at this point that my dad doesn’t have a sense of personal space and privacy… that’s something else that my mother has had to put up with all these years!)
But that letter was the beginning of her vocation as a writer. She wrote many articles and short stories in Tamil based on real life incidents, which were published in magazines. She won the first prize for a story that she wrote about an unusual wedding incident. This was published in Mangayar Malar. She wrote about her travels , to the US and other countries,too.
Like all mother and daughter relationships, ours too has gone through a variety of stages. From blind trust to tantrums, to irritation at her constant criticism to an acceptance of her views and values.During my difficult teenage years, when our relationship was going through a rough patch, she wrote a letter to a daughter, expressing her anguish (which got published in Mangayar Malar). Though I could barely read Tamil then, I remember being moved to tears by what she had written. I must say that I’ve done my bit to encourage my mother’s literary talent too!
Travel changed my mother. I noticed after the first trip to US how my mother had mellowed and was more confident of herself. Joining the Inner wheel club of Madras south transformed her from a typical quiet, workaholic, house- wife, in to a confident woman who could speak , unprepared, at public functions. I remember her initial months as inner wheel president, where she would write her speeches with my father’s help and practice over and over again. She would not compromise on house work , even when she had to go out to attend meetings and functions. I think we learnt a lot about hardwork, diligence and perseverance from her, in those days.
One important thing I learnt from my mother was not to foist my opinion on my kids. Whatever her personal views about a person or an issue, she would allow us to come to our own conclusions. She never stooped down to telling us – don’t talk to so and so. It was always our decision.
I have learnt to appreciate her more, after I became a mother myself.
People say that memories are made of innumerable mental images- I have many mental images of my mother,
- whacking us for not finishing our dinner, or getting our clothes dirty
- holding my brother’s broken arm and calmly fixing it in a sling
- getting up even after a bout of severe migraine , to complete her house work.
-Working on her neat clean golu and her geometric Kolums!
- accompanying us to dance class day in and out
-teaching us to sing and singing for us when we danced.
- walking out of her room, all dressed up, to accompany my father to a party
- going after centipedes and scorpions, and snakes with a broomstick, even when grown men were shivering with fright!
-Sitting up late in the night to read a book or write her stories(With no full stops and commas, invariably my dad had to make sense of them!)
- listening patiently to all our woes in school and college, and coming up with sensible advice
- walking to the blind school in the hot sun – so that she could be a scribe
-The silent anguish at seeing her brother waste away with cancer
-Patiently Learning Origami from us so she could teach the kids admitted in the cancer institute
-Of sitting up with our new born babies late into the night – so we could get some rest .
-Eagerly looking at our faces for appreciation, every time she cooked for us!
-Rehearsing her Invocation song again and again…..
So many memories……
With her large friends circle, her innumerable c lub activities, her Pattu class, her writing… my mother has come a long way from the quiet, diffident house wife she was.This would not have happened , if not for my father’s constant support and encouragement too.
And today I feel very proud that her book is to be released in the presenc e of her 90 year old mother,all her friends and well wishers.
Amma, this is your day. Enjoy the limelight. You more than deserve it!
Kavita Srinivas
Prabha – My better half
The other day my daughter mentioned to her grand mother that she is going to be 90 next year! My mother-in-law refused to believe that she is 90. She thinks she is not more than 80. We had to show her passport to convince her about her date of birth!
Her daughter, my wife Prabha has entered her 60th year. Others can’t believe that she is that old and that she is a veteran grand mother of four loving grand children! God has been kind in keeping her young looking which I think is in her genes.! (Her 60plus elder brother who is settled in USA was looking like a college student until a few years ago.)
We have been married for 38 years now. During this period I have grown old gracefully(!) and look my age. But Prabha continues to look like she is in her mid forties or early 50s.She is now concerned about some grey hairs making their rightful appearance in her mane.
While we have no problems (I think) with the mismatch in our looks, while moving in familiar crowds, I think Prabha has a problem when we are seen together in new environments and among new friends. People who don’t know us but see us together sometimes ask Prabha whether I am her father. I am sure that this puts her in an embarrassing situation. But when I am confronted with the question whether Prabha is my daughter, I proudly tell them with a twinkle in my eyes “No, she is my second wife.”
Well this article is not only to complement Prabha on her looks but also record for posterity, the other positive aspects of my wife of 38 years! While my daughters have written about Prabha as a mother I thought I will contribute my bit about Prabha as a wife.
It is true that in the initial years of our marrird life I was shocked to find that she did not fit into my social circles because of her problem in communicating in English. I have described in detail her trials and tribulations on this score in my autobiography and how she came out of it through sheer determination and hard work. While I have played a role in bringing her out of her shell, the credit for her current social status with an identity of her own, must entirely go to her! Because as they say, “One can take a horse to the water…”
Prabha has done an excellent job of converting her challenges into an opportunity and has been more than successful at it.
Though a reluctant starter, Prabha is a fast learner. Once she gets on to something she will put her heart and soul into the job. Whether cooking meals for a small family of 5 or for a party of 40 people, or maintaining her garden with hundreds of plants with love and care, attending music classes and learning new songs, or handling any assignment given to her by the neighbourhood Ladies club or the Inner Wheel, she has proved to be a very dependable and dedicated worker. Her passion for doing things perfectly has earned her a lot of admirers.
Prabha is a fearless and brave person. No bad news, no calamity or even a simple accident affect her composure. She is very bold and has been a nemesis for any crawling or slithering creatures that dare enter our home. The murderous look in her eyes and the speed with she acts with a broom stick in her hands is some thing you have to see to believe on such occasions. ( While the men( ie.me !) in the house run for cover)
She is also not a sentimental person judging by her reactions to several situations that I have seen .
Prabha is an intellectual of sorts! Not many people have had the opportunity to see her wax eloquent on Hindu religion, mythology, Tamil literature, carnatic music etc. Her memory and knowledge on these subjects is phenomenal,(though she will forget simple things I tell her to remember and accuse me that I never told her anything on the subject)
Prabha has been a good wife, a caring mother, a dutiful daughter-in-law and affectionate grand mother. Prabha is multi talented. Apart from her writing and singing activities I find her to be also a good story teller. Given an opportunity she can also act. She exhibits a child like enthusiasm for a lot of things. When our travel takes us to historical places, she would like to know details about everything on display. You can find her religiously reading all the explanatory boards on display, much to my irritation as I have no patience for such things!
Unlike many women I know, she is not a gossip monger and can get along with anyone because of the simplicity and transparency in her dealings. Most certainly she is not a cunning person but can be too naive sometimes!
On the negative side I will say that the obsession she has for maintaining the fairly big house we have, spic and span, sometimes drives every one, especially me, go crazy.
Anyone or anything that intrudes her daily routine creates tension in her. While it is an excellent quality to be focused, sometime it creates explosive situations between us. But considering the overall good that her hard work does to the household, I most often swallow my pride and get on. I suppose that is a part of the adjustment that is expected of a spouse in a married life.
I would like to conclude this piece with a confession. If I have led a very fulfilling life and have a sense of accomplishement, realizing most of my dreams. I must acknowledge the major role played by Prabha in my life. Thank you Prabha for everything. And pardon me if I have disappointed you on some scores!
R.V.Rajan
MY MOTHER IS 60!!
My Mother is 60....so what does that make me....
Yep...thats right...you got it...OLD!!!
Now this is not about me, it's about her all the way.
As I flash back, I remember many incidents...some funny, some sad, some thrilling, some mundane, and mostly that she was always there....
Most of my memories of my mother is of her diligently working at something or the other, either at the kitchen, or in the garden, or in our rooms. No wonder she could maintain our spacious house single handedly!
I remember our first house, a huge sprawling one, with an even bigger garden. That's probably why she developed a passion for plants, perforce having to tend to such a big garden, the natural nurturer in her took over!
I remember the wallop my sister and I got when we got wet in the rain one afternoon!! Now I have to constantly remind myself that, when my son insists on running into the rain....
I remember how my mother took one look at my brother and the hanging arm, broken while imitating spiderman (or was that superman?), quickly pushed it back into place..yes very much like she had some training from Puttur (a place famous for repairing broken bones in Tamilnadu!!) and slinging it neatly with a towel. The doctor was so impressed, he simply had to x-ray and place the plaster!
I remember her encounters with snakes, the way she handled them would put the Korava community to shame! ( Probably teach Greg Martin a lesson or two!). The curry leaf plant harbours green tree snakes ( harmless apparently) and if you are not careful you could pluck it along with a whole branch of leaves too. Which she did.
Luckily she spotted it as it was trying to slither its way out and into our dining room, while I sat frozen in time, with my second born on my lap, about 2 feet away from all this action. She held on for dear life...yes she actually was holding the snake....superwoman....and finally managed to push it into a polythene bag!
What still stands out for me is that at this point is that the only male available (why do we look for a male?!!...dont ask me why... its a conditioning!) was our dhobi (ironwallah ), who happened to be at the door. He actually refused to hold the bag with the snake, and it took my mother and me quite a bit of convincing to make him take the bag and discard its content in some far off place!!
I remember the many, many meals she has cooked, and still keeps cooking for us based solely on our desire to eat it, or our preference. Every time I am amazed at this, this enthusiasm to feed us never wanes!!
I remember the many talks and chats we have had, much to my father's jealousy!! As I donned different roles, the relationship with her too gained different shades. Sometimes the empathy was rewarding, sometimes the criticism was irritating. Yet her presence and her opinion, which I take for granted many times, always has a bearing on my actions. As I try to balance the values given to me by her with my own individual identity.
Motherhood is never understood until one lives through it. Perspective, time and maturity are great educators.
I remember...that motherhood is how I will always remember my mother.
Happy Healthy Life Mom!
Happy Birthday!
By Sowmya Srinivasan
MY MOTHER (speech delivered at Prabha`s book launch)
I have been given the task of speaking about my mother this evening. It feels strange to talk to an audience about someone whose presence I’ve taken for granted, all my life! Where can I start?
Well like all good stories….once upon a time…….. there was a girl who was the youngest, in a family of four kids. She lost her dad when she was just 21 days old. My grandmother, who was barely educated and just in her 20’s took the decision of leaving her in laws and raising her 4 kids on her own.
Looking back, from the perspective of my own secure and happy child hood, it must have been difficult for my grandmother, bringing up 4 kids on my grandfather’s meager pension, moving from one rented house to the other, in Chennai and still trying to give her kids a decent life and education.
But I’ve only heard happy accounts of her young life from my mother. Of long walks to school and college, and happy times on the terrace of a house in Kutcheri road, making fun of neighbour’s kids and studying with her siblings. She studied mathematics in college, and I always make fun of my mother, that all her kolams are influenced by that – they are always made up of circles, squares and triangles! And at the back of my mind, I’ve always felt that her mathematics background had something to do with her rigid adherence to rules, time tables and routines.
Well to continue… my mother married my father RV Rajan, a high profile executive of an ad agency…well settled with a car and house in Delhi. Though she must have been the envy of all the young married and unmarried women , It must have been a difficult transition to make. Having to settle in a strange city, not knowing the language and facing all the challenges that my dad threw at her from time to time. I’ve heard the account of how my father wanted my mother to cook for 25 people in the first month of their marriage. And she had never stepped in to the kitchen before her wedding! But my mother rose to the challenge with the one tool that she uses time and again to overcome any problem – Hard work! She woke up at 5 and started cutting the onions , worked through the day with her meenakshiammal cook book and managed to serve dinner on time- no mean achievement for a novice!
My Parents moved to Chennai, where my sister, my brother and I were born.I remember our first house, a huge sprawling one in Shastri Nagar, with an even bigger garden. My dad was always travelling, so my mother was left with 3 kids alone in the huge house. At nights it would get pitch dark outside. But I don’t remember my mother being scared, or agitated. I think she took refuge in cleaning every corner of the house – to keep her mind occupied!
In the busy – ness of raising a family, looking after In laws and innumerable guests, she must have felt stressed and unappreciated. This forced her to write a long letter to my dad about all that she was feeling. And my dad – the typical advertising man that he was , decided to go and publish the letter ! Of course with my mother’s permission . (I must say at this point that my dad doesn’t have a sense of personal space and privacy… that’s something else that my mother has had to put up with all these years!)
But that letter was the beginning of her vocation as a writer. She wrote many articles and short stories in Tamil based on real life incidents, which were published in magazines. She won the first prize for a story that she wrote about an unusual wedding incident. This was published in Mangayar Malar. She wrote about her travels , to the US and other countries,too.
Like all mother and daughter relationships, ours too has gone through a variety of stages. From blind trust to tantrums, to irritation at her constant criticism to an acceptance of her views and values.During my difficult teenage years, when our relationship was going through a rough patch, she wrote a letter to a daughter, expressing her anguish (which got published in Mangayar Malar). Though I could barely read Tamil then, I remember being moved to tears by what she had written. I must say that I’ve done my bit to encourage my mother’s literary talent too!
Travel changed my mother. I noticed after the first trip to US how my mother had mellowed and was more confident of herself. Joining the Inner wheel club of Madras south transformed her from a typical quiet, workaholic, house- wife, in to a confident woman who could speak , unprepared, at public functions. I remember her initial months as inner wheel president, where she would write her speeches with my father’s help and practice over and over again. She would not compromise on house work , even when she had to go out to attend meetings and functions. I think we learnt a lot about hardwork, diligence and perseverance from her, in those days.
One important thing I learnt from my mother was not to foist my opinion on my kids. Whatever her personal views about a person or an issue, she would allow us to come to our own conclusions. She never stooped down to telling us – don’t talk to so and so. It was always our decision.
I have learnt to appreciate her more, after I became a mother myself.
People say that memories are made of innumerable mental images- I have many mental images of my mother,
- whacking us for not finishing our dinner, or getting our clothes dirty
- holding my brother’s broken arm and calmly fixing it in a sling
- getting up even after a bout of severe migraine , to complete her house work.
-Working on her neat clean golu and her geometric Kolums!
- accompanying us to dance class day in and out
-teaching us to sing and singing for us when we danced.
- walking out of her room, all dressed up, to accompany my father to a party
- going after centipedes and scorpions, and snakes with a broomstick, even when grown men were shivering with fright!
-Sitting up late in the night to read a book or write her stories(With no full stops and commas, invariably my dad had to make sense of them!)
- listening patiently to all our woes in school and college, and coming up with sensible advice
- walking to the blind school in the hot sun – so that she could be a scribe
-The silent anguish at seeing her brother waste away with cancer
-Patiently Learning Origami from us so she could teach the kids admitted in the cancer institute
-Of sitting up with our new born babies late into the night – so we could get some rest .
-Eagerly looking at our faces for appreciation, every time she cooked for us!
-Rehearsing her Invocation song again and again…..
So many memories……
With her large friends circle, her innumerable c lub activities, her Pattu class, her writing… my mother has come a long way from the quiet, diffident house wife she was.This would not have happened , if not for my father’s constant support and encouragement too.
And today I feel very proud that her book is to be released in the presenc e of her 90 year old mother,all her friends and well wishers.
Amma, this is your day. Enjoy the limelight. You more than deserve it!
Kavita Srinivas
Prabha – My better half
The other day my daughter mentioned to her grand mother that she is going to be 90 next year! My mother-in-law refused to believe that she is 90. She thinks she is not more than 80. We had to show her passport to convince her about her date of birth!
Her daughter, my wife Prabha has entered her 60th year. Others can’t believe that she is that old and that she is a veteran grand mother of four loving grand children! God has been kind in keeping her young looking which I think is in her genes.! (Her 60plus elder brother who is settled in USA was looking like a college student until a few years ago.)
We have been married for 38 years now. During this period I have grown old gracefully(!) and look my age. But Prabha continues to look like she is in her mid forties or early 50s.She is now concerned about some grey hairs making their rightful appearance in her mane.
While we have no problems (I think) with the mismatch in our looks, while moving in familiar crowds, I think Prabha has a problem when we are seen together in new environments and among new friends. People who don’t know us but see us together sometimes ask Prabha whether I am her father. I am sure that this puts her in an embarrassing situation. But when I am confronted with the question whether Prabha is my daughter, I proudly tell them with a twinkle in my eyes “No, she is my second wife.”
Well this article is not only to complement Prabha on her looks but also record for posterity, the other positive aspects of my wife of 38 years! While my daughters have written about Prabha as a mother I thought I will contribute my bit about Prabha as a wife.
It is true that in the initial years of our marrird life I was shocked to find that she did not fit into my social circles because of her problem in communicating in English. I have described in detail her trials and tribulations on this score in my autobiography and how she came out of it through sheer determination and hard work. While I have played a role in bringing her out of her shell, the credit for her current social status with an identity of her own, must entirely go to her! Because as they say, “One can take a horse to the water…”
Prabha has done an excellent job of converting her challenges into an opportunity and has been more than successful at it.
Though a reluctant starter, Prabha is a fast learner. Once she gets on to something she will put her heart and soul into the job. Whether cooking meals for a small family of 5 or for a party of 40 people, or maintaining her garden with hundreds of plants with love and care, attending music classes and learning new songs, or handling any assignment given to her by the neighbourhood Ladies club or the Inner Wheel, she has proved to be a very dependable and dedicated worker. Her passion for doing things perfectly has earned her a lot of admirers.
Prabha is a fearless and brave person. No bad news, no calamity or even a simple accident affect her composure. She is very bold and has been a nemesis for any crawling or slithering creatures that dare enter our home. The murderous look in her eyes and the speed with she acts with a broom stick in her hands is some thing you have to see to believe on such occasions. ( While the men( ie.me !) in the house run for cover)
She is also not a sentimental person judging by her reactions to several situations that I have seen .
Prabha is an intellectual of sorts! Not many people have had the opportunity to see her wax eloquent on Hindu religion, mythology, Tamil literature, carnatic music etc. Her memory and knowledge on these subjects is phenomenal,(though she will forget simple things I tell her to remember and accuse me that I never told her anything on the subject)
Prabha has been a good wife, a caring mother, a dutiful daughter-in-law and affectionate grand mother. Prabha is multi talented. Apart from her writing and singing activities I find her to be also a good story teller. Given an opportunity she can also act. She exhibits a child like enthusiasm for a lot of things. When our travel takes us to historical places, she would like to know details about everything on display. You can find her religiously reading all the explanatory boards on display, much to my irritation as I have no patience for such things!
Unlike many women I know, she is not a gossip monger and can get along with anyone because of the simplicity and transparency in her dealings. Most certainly she is not a cunning person but can be too naive sometimes!
On the negative side I will say that the obsession she has for maintaining the fairly big house we have, spic and span, sometimes drives every one, especially me, go crazy.
Anyone or anything that intrudes her daily routine creates tension in her. While it is an excellent quality to be focused, sometime it creates explosive situations between us. But considering the overall good that her hard work does to the household, I most often swallow my pride and get on. I suppose that is a part of the adjustment that is expected of a spouse in a married life.
I would like to conclude this piece with a confession. If I have led a very fulfilling life and have a sense of accomplishement, realizing most of my dreams. I must acknowledge the major role played by Prabha in my life. Thank you Prabha for everything. And pardon me if I have disappointed you on some scores!
R.V.Rajan
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Mission Accomplished
Prabha’s book Kadambam – a collection of short stories in Tamil was launched at a simple but a well attended function on Saturday, 31st July 2010. The well planned event was executed to perfection. Nearly 100 copies of the book were given away to guests who attended the function. The purpose of this article is to review the impact of the event on Prabha.
Being a shy and reluctant starter, she was not in favour of my publishing the book, saying that there is nothing great about her writing to deserve a book and that I should not waste money in publishing it. But I was determined to bring to light the tremendous talent she has for writing in Tamil and I am happy that I took the right decision, judging by the response Prabha has been receiving post the event.
From Wednesday, three days after the event, our landline has not stopped ringing. A write up in the Hindu Metro Plus on Wednesday and photographic coverage in the weekly Adyar Times have added to the awareness about the book. Those who have read the stories are all praise for the simple and effective style of writing. Her choice of subjects and the messages she has tried to convey through her stories have come for praise!
Many of the readers are able to relate to characters and situations in Prabha’s stories. Needless to say that Prabha’s hidden talent has come as a major surprise to many of her friends, who have known her as a diffident but dedicated worker who will do a good job of whatever is assigned to her!
The immediate effect of all the encomium she is continuing to receive is that Prabha is seriously looking at all the unpublished stories and articles she has written to see if they can be polished a little bit and sent to magazines. Hopefully, she will also start writing again. When that happens, I will consider my mission in publishing the book accomplished.
BREAKING NEWS! As I am typing this article, Prabha informs me that she has written a new story yesterday!
My mission is surely accomplished!
Being a shy and reluctant starter, she was not in favour of my publishing the book, saying that there is nothing great about her writing to deserve a book and that I should not waste money in publishing it. But I was determined to bring to light the tremendous talent she has for writing in Tamil and I am happy that I took the right decision, judging by the response Prabha has been receiving post the event.
From Wednesday, three days after the event, our landline has not stopped ringing. A write up in the Hindu Metro Plus on Wednesday and photographic coverage in the weekly Adyar Times have added to the awareness about the book. Those who have read the stories are all praise for the simple and effective style of writing. Her choice of subjects and the messages she has tried to convey through her stories have come for praise!
Many of the readers are able to relate to characters and situations in Prabha’s stories. Needless to say that Prabha’s hidden talent has come as a major surprise to many of her friends, who have known her as a diffident but dedicated worker who will do a good job of whatever is assigned to her!
The immediate effect of all the encomium she is continuing to receive is that Prabha is seriously looking at all the unpublished stories and articles she has written to see if they can be polished a little bit and sent to magazines. Hopefully, she will also start writing again. When that happens, I will consider my mission in publishing the book accomplished.
BREAKING NEWS! As I am typing this article, Prabha informs me that she has written a new story yesterday!
My mission is surely accomplished!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
RVR Autobio-III -School Days
When I was in the 9th standard, my school moved to its own premises in Wadala which was a 30 to 40 minute walk from my house in Matunga. A group of us from the neighbourhood took a walk every day which enlarged my circle of friends. It was at this stage that I became close to Jayaraman, a bright student who always came first in my class. I became a part of the group of bright students bursting with a lot of creative energy! It was a multitalented group that wanted to participate in extra curricular activities such as singing, staging plays etc. But we had a problem. The school was being run by a group of Palghat Brahmins with Mrs. Saraswathi as the Principal. She was a Malayalee spinster who ran the school like a dictator. I remember her telling the students “Don’t waste your time on cinemas and dramas. Education is the only thing which will give you a good career!” So she banned all extra curricular activities except the mandatory sports activities.
My group began to feel frustrated and helpless. Some of us joined the Bombay Tamil Sangam which was encouraging students with talent in writing, debating, acting etc. I think the seed of converting a challenge into an opportunity was sown in my mind at this time. I mooted the idea of starting a Students Cultural Association through which we could express our creative talents. Others immediately agreed. Thus was born the “Manavar Kalai Arangam” with the motto ‘To encourage ourselves’ and I became the Founder Secretary. We had JNS Murthy from a junior class as President. Though JNS, at that point did not have any creative interests, we made him the President because he came from a business family and he could help us in raising funds for our programmes. Another friend Raghavan, who had the physique of the famous Tamil comedian Nagesh was excellent in comedy roles. I always landed character roles – invariably the father of the hero in all the plays.
One of our earliest plays was a one act play titled ‘Pushpalatha’ written by Director K Balachander. At that time he had just got into directing plays. Raghavan and I went to Madras and got his permission to stage the play in Bombay. In another play, I donned the role of Munuswamy a thug with one Muniamma as my wife. For the role of Muniamma we had to get a female artist from Madras, as no Bombay girls agreed to act in our plays!
My group began to feel frustrated and helpless. Some of us joined the Bombay Tamil Sangam which was encouraging students with talent in writing, debating, acting etc. I think the seed of converting a challenge into an opportunity was sown in my mind at this time. I mooted the idea of starting a Students Cultural Association through which we could express our creative talents. Others immediately agreed. Thus was born the “Manavar Kalai Arangam” with the motto ‘To encourage ourselves’ and I became the Founder Secretary. We had JNS Murthy from a junior class as President. Though JNS, at that point did not have any creative interests, we made him the President because he came from a business family and he could help us in raising funds for our programmes. Another friend Raghavan, who had the physique of the famous Tamil comedian Nagesh was excellent in comedy roles. I always landed character roles – invariably the father of the hero in all the plays.
One of our earliest plays was a one act play titled ‘Pushpalatha’ written by Director K Balachander. At that time he had just got into directing plays. Raghavan and I went to Madras and got his permission to stage the play in Bombay. In another play, I donned the role of Munuswamy a thug with one Muniamma as my wife. For the role of Muniamma we had to get a female artist from Madras, as no Bombay girls agreed to act in our plays!
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