I am moving to Coimbatore

  29 years in Mumbai, 3 years in New Delhi, and after 50 years in Chennai I will be moving to Coimbatore in March 2023 to lead a life without responsibilities

I thought I would share with you the reasons for my decision to move to Nana Nani (Phase 4) a Senior Citizen Home in Coimbatore, though   I already have a good support system in Sastri Nagar where I am staying with my son`s family surrounded by siblings living in the same housing complex.

The idea took root in my mind after I wrote the article titled `Home away from Home- a Life without Responsibilities`  for which I visited several Senior Citizen Homes and interviewed scores of residents in such homes. Most of them were  NRI parents with their children staying abroad. But many of them were also seniors whose children were staying in Coimbatore or other cities. Still, they opted for the Home because of the independent life without day-to-day responsibilities such Homes offered. I found most of them were very happy with their life in such Homes.

After Prabha passed away in 2013, I was enjoying the independent life I was leading, looking after myself and offering whatever physical help I could offer to others.   In the last couple of years, the aging process and the consequent steady decline in my health with all kinds of aches and pains have made me worry about the possibility of my becoming dependent on my children and a nuisance value. I miss Prabha now.  She could have taken minute-to-minute care of me if I was unwell as only a life partner can do, without my feeling guilty about it. This has created an anxiety syndrome in me. My spirit is still willing to take on challenges but the flesh is becoming weaker and weaker.

Today well-run senior citizens' homes offer an excellent alternative life for those who are financially independent and who are living alone leading an insecure life. They also provide reliable facilities for dependent parents living with children in nuclear families when they are not in a position to provide any help to their children because of a lack of energy and stamina.  As I find myself with my two little resident grandchildren. They are fun but I find that I can`t run after them or cope with their boundless energy.

Some children appoint full-time caregivers to look after their dependent parents. This is not practical for everyone due to space constraints and other reasons. Many of the senior citizen homes offer assisted living facilities within the community without the children having to worry about such parents on a day-to-day basis. Though at present I don`t need such care, I am looking ahead and being prepared for any eventualities.

The second reason is the condition of the beautiful Home I built 42 years ago. Age is also catching up with the Home which is witnessing many cracks endangering the security of the family. Though I  have seen water entering the ground floor of my independent home where I stay almost every year when it rains heavily, the recent experience because of the cyclone in Chennai has broken my endurance limits. I don`t want to live in the house to face the nightmare of another flooding of the house. With the possibility of my siblings also moving out for the same reason, and the families going for a redevelopment of the property, I  wanted to clear the way for my son so that he can look at plans without having to worry about me.

Why Coimbatore when there are many Senior Citizen Homes in and around Chennai? Better weather and the fact that my younger daughter Sowmya is now settled in Coimbatore who could be a first respondent in case of a health emergency, have influenced the decision.

I want to make it clear that the decision is based on my habit of thinking ahead and looking for out-of-the-box solutions to some of the problems I faced in my life. I  may still come back to Chennai if I am not happy with life in the new Home as the lease of the apartment is for 11 months only. Besides I will keep visiting Chennai whenever an occasion demands my visit. So friends in Chennai, do not bid me goodbye, yet

How to make at least one person happy every day

Since I retired from my job at the age of 65, I have discovered the great joy of making other people happy. When people around me are happy I feel happy. In the last few years, I have publicly declared my latest policy to make at least one person happy every day. Friends ask me, how do I do it? The answer lies in my nature to help others. In all my life, whenever anyone approaches me for any help I would never say `not possible` but say, `I will try`. Thanks to the goodwill I enjoy among my large number of friends and contacts, I can connect the person seeking help to a person who is in a position to help. In 80% of the cases, the problem gets resolved making the person grateful to me for helping. It could be anything from a request for school admission, seeking a job, looking for an alliance, a medical condition, a problem with a government department, seeking a donation, a loan, or many other reasons people seek help and advice from friends. This is one way to make people happy but how do I practice it every day? It happens by instinct.

Godman Sri Sri Ravishankar of Art of Living fame advises his millions of followers to keep smiling and create a positive feeling for you. I try to follow this advice and do not hesitate to greet anyone I meet during my morning walks or in any public places. I make it a practice to call or visit senior citizens who are living alone and looking for someone to talk to. Offer them any help they need then. I know of a nonagenarian friend`s wife who is a voracious reader. I regularly supply her with new books in exchange for those she has already read. The reward I get for my good deed is to be fed with some delicious snacks she lovingly prepares, once in a while.

Every year I buy the special Diwali issues of some popular Tamil magazines and circulate them in rotation among a few of my friends, all senior citizens. They look forward to this unusual service from me with great expectation. I feel happy when they are happy.
I am also prompt in appreciating people for their little and big achievements. A handshake, a pat on the back, or even a simple word of appreciation makes people happy. During my walks in the mornings at Bessy ( Besant Nagar Beach front in Chennai), I come across families with small, cute kids. Occasionally I stop and pet the child and tell the parents “ A smart kid. He will go places in life. God Bless”. The happiness on the face of the proud parents is to be seen to be believed.

Then there are scores of other small acts you can perform that make people happy. Like having small talks with service providers like electricians, plumbers, and mechanics who come to repair equipment. Enquire about their background, their families, or the simple act of offering them a glass of water or a cup of tea. I also derive great joy when I see the surprised and happy look on the faces of call drivers, auto drivers & vendors when I pay them more than what is due to them. I can go on. If giving becomes a habit it will surely generate a lot of happiness among the recipients of your kindness, and you will be happy that you are leading a purposeful life instead of just existing in the world.

 

 

  

 

Remembering Prabha on her eleventh Anniversary

Instead of mourning her death on 5th January 2013 I have been celebrating the memory of my life partner for forty years through Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation (PRTF) activities which I started in her memory. On the 10th Anniversary event last year, a new idea of presenting the PRTF Role Model awards was introduced and two deserving senior citizens were honoured. I released  an advertisement  in the 2023 Diwali issues of Kalaimagal and Ladies Special magazines which briefly highlighted  the achievements of three women who decided to pursue their passion for writing, late in life, like Prabha.

 On her 11th Anniversary, I promise that I will continue with the activities of PRTF as long as I am mentally and physically fit. Om Sai Ram.
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The attached photo of Prabha was taken in Kashmir where we had a- Childhood dream come true holiday- as she called it. We returned from the holiday on 25th April,2012 and she was diagnosed of terminal cancer on 5th June,2012. She passed away on 5th January,2013, exactly seven months after the diagnosis of colon cancer.

A Farewell visit to Mumbai?

The wheelchair service by the Airlines has helped me travel alone more confidently. My trip to Bombay this week reinforced this belief. My original plan was to only attend the `Navjote` function of the grandkids of Sam Balsara, the big Boss of the Madison group with whom my agency Anugrah Madison had entered into a tie-up as the rural division of the group. It was a lovely evening where I not only met Sam`s family but also a lot of old friends from the advertising fraternity. The vegetarian fare at the dinner table with many typical Parsi dishes like Dhansak, Undhiyu, etc was delicious.

Thanks to my wonderful hosts in Mumbai, Sundaresan and Leela, a couple who are hospitality personified, I could visit Shirdi Sai Baba temple by Vande Bharath Express- leaving Mumbai in the morning and returning the same night after a very good darshan of Sairam. I was traveling by train after six years and by Vande Bharath for the first time. While the train in terms of space, ambiance, and spacious toilets stands out as a train with a difference, I found the dinner served on the train was no different from what they serve in Shatabdi, which I never liked.

During my stayin Mumbai, I had the pleasure of having lunch with 92-year-old Vijay Menon and his wife Shanthi. Meeting their daughter from New York on a visit to Mumbai was a bonus. Vijay, a friend for over fifty years, had opened up a whole new world to me when he roped me as the country representative of AMIC in 1984. He had  left the post to take over as the Secretary General of AMIC, an NGO headquartered in Singapore, promoting the cause of Mass Communication in Asia Pacific Region. My long association with AMIC led to my involvement with WAN-IFRA, another NGO devoted to Newspaper development headquartered in Germany. While at Anugrah Madison I had to explore the hinterland of the country, WAN-IFRA gave me opportunities to travel abroad every year. It was a fascinating experience.

One evening with my school friends at the Matunga Gymkhana was memorable. During the first 26 years of my life, I had seen Matunga Gymkhana, opposite Podar College where I studied, almost every day. It was a popular Club for Cricket and Table Tennis with some other basic facilities. It has been redeveloped into a first-class Club with several additional facilities and a couple of restaurants with a five-star ambiance serving some unusual dishes as starters.

Spending a pleasant evening with a client turned-friend Swamy( ex-Philips) and a quiet lunch with relatives Rajagopals  also happened during the trip. I visited Matunga where I had lived for the first 26 years in Bombay. I had a sumptuous and tasty Thali Meal at the Udupi Sri Krishna Boarding, near Matunga station, an iconic restaurant. It was a nostalgic experience indeed! Any trip to Mumbai is never complete for me without a visit to Chedda Stores, ( a small grocery shop turned into a big department store) and buying my favourite Theplas, Khakras, and other Gujarathi snacks.

Though I am impressed with the several new modes of travel that the government has introduced to reduce travel time (like the Freeway from Chembur to Masjid ), I am shocked at the number of high-rise buildings that have come up in the name of redevelopment, making Mumbai a concrete jungle. I found the city claustrophobic and heavily polluted. Frankly I don`t enjoy visiting Mumbai anymore . I told my host that this probably was my farewell trip to Mumbai!

 

My first short story in Tamil in 60 years

With the publication of my short story titled `Express Rani` in the December 2023 issue of Kalaimagal,  the 92-year-old literary magazine in Tamil,  I have got rid of one more mental block.

 In my school days, I was a writer of short stories and plays in Tamil. I have also acted in plays written by me. Once I got into the demanding advertising profession I had stopped writing in Tamil though I continued to read popular Tamil Magazines.  Since I took a new avatar as a writer/author in English, post-retirement, some of my essays translated into Tamil have appeared in the Diwali issues of Kalaimagal and Ladies Special a Tamil monthly.  Impressed by my style of writing my good friend and well-wisher Kizhambur Sankara Subramanian, editor of Kalaimagal,  has been persuading me to write original articles/stories in Tamil. But my problem was that I could not write in Tamil as I had lost touch with writing in Tamil for 60 years. I found it very painful to compose even simple sentences in Tamil. Instead of writing a new story, I sent an unpublished story I had written in Tamil 60 years ago titled `Ilamai Thudippu`. Kizhambur found it interesting and published it in the Kalaimagal Diwali issue in 2022. He also insisted that I make a serious attempt to write an original story in Tamil.

 It happened during my last visit to Coimbatore when  I was staying with my daughter. I had not taken my laptop so I could not type any new essays during the golden hour in the morning, as is my habit. Not to waste time I decided to try my hand at writing a short story in Tamil. Though the thought process was smooth writing in Tamil was painful. I managed to get a draft ready with lots of scratching and rewriting. It is based on a real-life story and does not follow the usual grammar of short stories. Luckily my sister-in-law Mythili Seshadri who helps me with translations and Tamil typing found the draft legible  and  typed  it. I sent the short story titled `Express Rani` to Kizhambur and kept my fingers crossed.  He found the story interesting and promised to publish it in Kalaimagal. He kept up his promise by publishing it in the latest issue of the magazine.  I jumped with joy seeing my story, written in Tamil after 60 years in a prestigious magazine like Kalaimagal. Motivated by the encouraging feedback I am getting from my near and dear ones I have decided to explore this new avenue of writing  that has opened  to me. That is one of my New Year resolutions for 2024. But I must first learn to type in Tamil so that I don`t have to go through the painful process of writing by hand.

Thank you Kizhambur for your encouragement and support.

Life Time Achievement Award for Distinguished Journalism

I had the honour of reading the citation for the Life Time Achievement Award for Distinguished Journalism presented to  my good friend S.R.Madhu by the TAG group & Ramu Endowments on 10^th December  at the Tag Centre. It was a packed audience of over 200 which witnessed Madhu receiving the Award from the Chief Guest R.K.Raghavan  the former Director of CBI and Consul General of Cyprus.

A well deserved honour for a writer who in  a journalism career spanning more than 60 years, has made a mark in newspapers and magazines as well as specialist journals; in both mainstream mass media and development media; in print as well as audio-visuals. His writing is characterized by clarity and vigour, precision and elegance. As editor, he promotes the highest standards in content, composition and presentation, as well as in design and visual appeal.

 

With a Gold Medal in Journalism from Bombay, a certificate in photojournalism from Parson’s School, New York; and a certificate in communication from Cornell University, New York Madhu started his  life as a feature writer in 1964 with the Times of India Group. He later shifted to USIS Bombay as English Editor in 1970. Between 1974-79 he was the Deputy Editor of SPAN magazine published by the American Embassy in Delhi. As the principal staff writer of SPAN magazine, he wrote articles on Indo-US relations and covered visits of dignitaries from the USA. He got a certificate of appreciation from the White House for his wonderful coverage of President Carter’s visit.

 Shifting to Development Communication, he served for 15 years (1979-1994) as an International Information Officer with the FAO-United Nations in India and Africa. In the course of his work, he wrote and photographed UN projects in more than a dozen countries of Asia and Africa.  He founded the newsletter Bay of Bengal News, for the FAO’s Chennai-based regional programme, the Bay of Bengal Programme.  The FAO in Rome commended Bay of Bengal News as a model for all FAO projects worldwide.

Retiring from the UN in 1995, Madhu has for the past 28 years been a writer-editor consultant – mainly to UN agencies. He has been also very active with Rotary as a Programme director of Rotary Club of Madras South for the last 25 years besides being a popular anchor of the South India Heritage lectures, numbering over 350, organised by the Tag group in Chennai.

 

Madhu`s abiding interest in Cricket and Films is well known. His recent series of 22 well-researched articles on personalities in the Hindi and Tamil music world in Rotary News, a magazine of Rotary International has become so popular that a reader, a well-known journalist remarked, ` Madhu just doesn`t write but `composes` his articles with his pen`. He has also made eight presentations based on film music covering the period from the 1940s to the 1980s.

The award function was followed by an engaging video presentation by Madhu of selected  Songs from films of the yester year star Dev Anand ,  whose birth  centenary is being celebrated this year.

( Quote from Charis, Raghavan`s and madhu`s speeches)

My friendship with Madhu is six decades old. We both did our PG Diploma courses in Bharatriya Vidya Bhavan, Bombay in 1962-64. He did journalism and I did Advertising and PR. We both started our respective careers in Bombay , went to Delhi and finally landed in Chennai. It is a friendship that has stood the test of time.I was responsible for roping him into my  Rotary Club. I consider him as one of my mentors in my second innings as a writer/author post retirement.

Hearty Congratulations Madhu on a long overdue but a well deserved honour. Hope this is the beginning of many more Awards you will get in the future. I am proud   to have you as my friend.

 

 

Limping back to normal

The 48-hour ordeal is almost over. The water inside the home in my portion on the ground floor has been cleared. I have moved to my portion on the ground floor. The power came back around noon yesterday. But only two phases. Six inches of water is still surrounding our home and the passage to our home. Since water had entered my car filling the portion below the seats, both in the front and back, I am not sure if it has damaged any parts under the bonnet. Awaiting the help of the elusive representative from Cars India to help check the condition and start the car. Because of the dos and don`ts shared by Maruti & other insurance companies scared to take the risk of starting the car on my own. Mobility is therefore restricted.

Because my house is built at a lower level than the road I am used to water entering the ground floor of my home whenever there is a cyclone or very heavy rains. But flooding of the entire ground floor has taken place only six times in the last forty years. This time because of the intensity even the toilet in the bedroom overflowed. It was sickening. A few trees inside the compound had also fallen and blocked the passage.

Fortunately, I could move to my son`s portion on the first floor, where we were well-stocked with all the essentials required. However, due to the lack of power, we had to be careful with the use of water and the mobile. No bath for two days. I kept my mobile switched off and used it only to check messages from time to time. Managed it well until a friend of my son reached a Mobile Battery charger.

The positive side of the story is that I could spend two full days with my son`s family enjoying the personalized hospitality extended to me by both my daughter-in-law Tulse and son Balaji. Besides I could also spend more time with my resident grandchildren Thavam and Bakthi, which was a bonus. I was witness to the great effort that both Balaji & Tulse had to put in to keep them engaged due to lack of screen time. It is always tough to bring up small kids but today`s kids are far more demanding than the earlier generations. Need enormous patience to handle them, which both Tulse and Balaji displayed in abundance. Hats off to them.

One more year. One more rain-related ordeal is behind us. Thank God we have survived without any collateral damage. Om Sairam!