My first exposure to an old age home was 20 years ago, when my mother-in-law was admitted to a modest home run by a distant relative located in an independent home in a busy residential colony in the suburbs of Chennai. It was close to a popular temple and other facilities that senior citizens require. It also provided home-cooked meals. My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last six years of her life in that old age home, when there were negative connotations about old age homes. Her NRI son, for his own reasons, decided to keep her in the Home despite my offer to look after her in my home. Just to make her feel we still cared about her, I would bring her home every month for a week's stay. One day, she told my driver, “I don’t know why my son-in-law brings me here every month. I am getting bored here. I am very happy in my Home with a lot of new friends to talk to. Here I spend the whole day only watching TV or listening to music. Everybody is so busy. That is the first time I realised the importance of a senior citizen home in the life of elders and their need to be with like-minded friends in their old age.
Has anything changed with Senior Citizen
Homes over the years? Yes, a lot. Modern-day homes located
in gated communities have all the basic facilities that senior citizens need
and much more for those who can afford the price.
During my visit to
Coimbatore in 2022, to get an idea of life in senior citizen homes, I visited a
few friends staying in popular Senior Citizens Homes to get feedback on their
experiences in the gated communities where they were staying. This was for
an article I was writing for an online magazine. I found all
of them very happy. I did not know then that within two years of writing that
article, I would myself move into Nana Nani in Coimbatore.
I have been staying in Nana Nani for more than two years, leading an independent and happy life without responsibilities.Based on my own experience living in a Senior Citizen Home and my understanding of how many other senior citizen homes function, I would like to make the following observations and suggestions for the benefit of those who are planning to move into a Senior Citizen Home.
- Judging by the good times that many of the residents are having in many senior citizen homes, I would say it is an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful lives, have no family responsibilities and who are financially independent, to spend their twilight years in peace and contentment
- It is no longer a stigma on the children if their parents voluntarily choose to stay in senior citizen homes which provide them the necessary independence, comfort and the company of new friends with similar backgrounds.
-Once they have decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home, they should visit a few Homes and stay in their guest houses for a few days to get a feel of the place. They also must talk to some residents to find out what they think of the facilities on offer and their satisfaction level before they make up their mind.
-Many new Senior Citizen Homes offer five-star facilities which may not be used by everyone, and such Homes are very expensive. It is important to choose a facility which satisfies one`s basic needs and is available at a reasonable cost.
-It might be a good idea to retain one's own home for some time and sell it only when one is fully satisfied with the Home being considered.. Most of the Homes keep increasing their maintenance charges and meal charges from time to time because of escalating costs. Residents must be prepared to face this contingency.
-Food becomes a major issue in the Senior Citizen Homes. One has to be mentally prepared to adjust one's tastes to the menu on offer. Coimbatore, the most popular city for SCHs, where most of them offer only vegetarian meals and that too the South Indian variety. One's choice of food & the city where one wants to settle down can also be determining factors in selecting the Home.
-Better to go for the facilities offered by well-known groups. They have the resources and commitment to run the facilities efficiently because their reputation is at stake. Homes started by individuals or private parties are generally not reliable.
-It is very important to ensure that the Home has reliable in-house medical facilities and is in a position to handle any medical emergencies. This is one of the main reasons that elders staying alone, with their children living abroad, shift to Senior Citizen Homes. Many Homes promise this facility but lack the necessary infrastructure to provide the service. Also check if such homes can help you get full-time or part-time attenders in case of necessity. Such facilities normally come at an extra cost.
-Senior Citizen Homes with attached hospices or with facilities to take complete care of bedridden patients can be considered by working couples who have old and infirm parents who need constant help and attention. Atulya Senior Care, which has branches in several cities, specialises in this kind of service.
- If you have children living in other cities, go for a two-bedroom facility so that there is a place for them to stay whenever they visit you.
-If one wants to enjoy one's stay in Senior Citizen Homes, it is important to be friendly with other residents. Remember that more than one's own children, it is the friends who make one's life interesting in old age. Besides, if one is friendly with the able-bodied residents in the facility, they become one's support group and caregivers in case of emergencies until the family members come and take over.
I would like to conclude this article quoting the words of a resident in another popular Senior Citizen Home in Coimbatore.
”The two essential needs of every individual apart from roti, kapda and makhan are freedom and friendship. Both these crucial requirements for healthy and happy living are assured in the life of elders in Senior Citizen Homes”
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