Four cities in 10 days

It all started with the invitation to address my school's ( SIWS)Alumni Association on 21st January, at the school in Wadala, Mumbai. I decided to combine it with a visit to Shirdi, Pune, and Hyderabad. I am not confident about traveling alone these days. So I was happy when my daughter Sowmya volunteered to accompany me-it was a big moral and physical support. I had decided to use the direct flight from Chennai to reach Shirdi but from Shirdi to Pune/Mumbai I opted for the road route to avoid the hassles connected with train travel.

In Shirdi, we had a great darshan of Sai Baba thanks to the ever-friendly guide Babu Rao of Vasant Kamal travels. On our way to Pune, we visited the Shani temple at Shani Shignapur. Shani Shignapur village is famous for the fact that no house is ever locked as the villagers feel secure with the protection provided by Shani Baghvan. Closer to Pune we visited the Mahaganpathi temple at Ranjangaon known as one of the Ashta Vinayaga temples located in Maharashtra. I visited all the Ashta Vinayaga temples with Prabha 15 years ago.

At Pune, we met Nadkar and his wife Muktha, friends from my Round Table days in Mumbai ( 1968-71), and of course Pradeep Lokhande of Rural Relations, one of the founders of the Rural Marketing Association of India. While Nadkars entertained us with a delicious Maharashtrian lunch at Shreyas restaurant, Pradeep and his wife took us to Vaishali restaurant, very popular as the biggest restaurant serving delectable south Indian dishes for dinner in Pune. I was happy to learn that not only had Pradeep become a grandfather since I last met him but also quietly performed the marriage of his second daughter.

In Mumbai, my host was Sundaresan and his wife Leela. Though I reconnected with Sundaresan, my schoolmate, after 53 years at a reunion 12 years ago, we have become close friends and I feel very comfortable staying with them whenever I am in Mumbai. This time it was no different.

My talk at the Alumni meet was a resounding success judging by the response I got from the teachers and students of the SIWS college in the audience. I was delighted when the Principal of the college promised to help in getting my novel `Durga Nivas` based on my experience of living in a chawl, translated into Marathi & Hindi. I hope her enthusiasm is followed by action.
The Second Grand Annual Day celebrations held the following day at the school auditorium witnessed eight alumni being conferred the Distinguished Alumni Award. ( I received my Award at the first Grand event held in 2017). The award function which was anchored by Nagesh Alai with aplomb was followed by an entertaining dance programme by a professional group and a music session in which many old students displayed their talents for singing old film songs in Hindi and Tamil. The meeting ended with a simple South Indian meal provided by a well-known caterer in Mumbai..
While in Mumbai I visited my 84 years old cousin Gopal and my old boss and dear friend- 92 years old Vijay Menon. It was Vijay when he became the Secretary general of AMIC, an NGO headquartered in Singapore, devoted to promoting mass communication in the Asia-Pacific region, inducted me as a Country Representative of AMIC in 1984. Later I was roped into the Board of AMIC Singapore and was also responsible for establishing an Indian office of WAN-IFRA, a world body devoted to the development of Newspapers. While my main profession took me to the villages of India, my role as the MD of IFRA INDIA saw me visiting many cities across the world. I am always grateful to Vijay for opening up a whole new world to me.

I also met my good friend Swamy, who was the Manager in charge of the memorable `Enga Veettu Super Star- Philips` campaign for the electronics division of Philips in Rural Tamil Nadu, which my agency conceived in 1997-98. A successful campaign that brought Sam Balsara of Madison fame to our doorstep for a collaboration. It was nice going down memory lane with Swamy. A brief visit to my brother`s daughter`s house in a posh apartment complex in Parel was the icing on the cake.

From Mumbai, we flew to Hyderabad to visit my younger brother Srinivasan who was recovering from a setback in his health, & his wife Pushpa, who received the Lifetime Achievement Award from a professional body of audiologists, yesterday.

My experience of visiting Prabha's 92 years old Chithi ( mother`s younger sister ) at a Retirement Community in PUNE deserves a separate post.

I returned to Chennai in high spirits with loads of blessings from my elders and divine grace from the Gods but accompanied by a severe cough that my family doctor diagnosed as an allergic cough- nothing to worry about!

Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation celebrates its 10th Anniversary

The 10th Anniversary of Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation ( PRTF), started by me in memory of Prabha, was celebrated yesterday (15th January 2023) at TAG Centre owned by my good friend R.T Chari. It is at the same venue four other earlier anniversaries were celebrated.

The special feature of this year`s event was the presentation of the `PRTF-ROLE MODEL` Award to 95 years old Kanakam Sharma, who started writing short stories in Tamil at 90 and became a published author of a book of short stories by 93. She is continuing to write. The second person to receive the award was 78 years old Jaya Krishnan. She started writing in Tamil after she turned 70. She already has two books on spiritual subjects to her credit and the third one is on the way. The citations were read by Mythili Seshadri.

The next event witnessed 81 years old Kumudha Srinivasan realizing her dream of publishing her first book of short story in Tamil. Kizhambur Sankara Subramanian, the editor of 91 years old Kalaimagal magazine, received the first copy from the Chief Guest. The three ladies proved that age is no barrier to pursuing one`s passion.

This was followed by Ravi Tamilvanan of Manimekalai Prasuram handing over two books of first-time authors sponsored by PRTF to the Chief Guest. After this cash prizes were distributed to the winners of the short story competitions held by Ladies Special and Kuvikam magazines in association with PRTF. A book containing prize-winning stories in the PRTF-Kuvikam contest was also released by the chief guest.

The meeting started with a melodious invocation song sung by Madhura Muralidharan followed by an emotional welcome address by Kavitha Srinivas. In his address, Rajan recalled the continuous support that PRTF has received from Kizhambur, Editor of Kalaimagal magazine, Ravi Tamilvanan of Manimekalai Prasuram, Girija Raghavan, Editor of Ladies Special magazine, Diwakar of Compuprint and R.T.Chari of the Tag group for the activities of PRTF right from its inception.

The chief guest, celebrity writer Sivasankari in her address congratulated PRTF for the excellent work it was doing in encouraging talented women. Her inspiring speech was listened to with rapt attention by the packed audience, estimated at over 150. The meeting ended with a vote of thanks by Sowmya Srinivasan followed by the National Anthem

A folder containing the details of activities of PRTF for the first ten years was distributed to the guests
The meeting, which started sharp at 6.05pm and ended sharply at 7.35, was anchored with aplomb by Girija Raghavan better known as the `one woman army`.

 

 

A Tenth Anniversary Tribute

  PRABHA RAJAN ( 27-7-51  to 05-01-2013)

CELEBRATING MEMORIES

Prabha was born on 27^th July 1951, as the youngest of four siblings. Her father, a senior Manager with the TVS group, passed away when he was 31 years old leaving behind four children of ages ranging from 20 days to 7 years. Prabha, who was only 20 days old never saw her father. Prabha and her three siblings ( Two elder brothers and the eldest sister) were brought up by their single mother with support from the TVS group. All of them received a good education with Prabha`s senior elder brother passing his Chartered Accountancy with distinction. It was a close-knit family with little exposure to the outside world and hardly any socializing.  An average student, Prabha studied up to graduation level at SIET college in Chennai. She never enjoyed studies but was a voracious reader of Tamil magazines &  books. She was fond of film music of those days, which she could recall much later when she became a popular social singer at parties.

I was married to Prabha in 1972 when I was 30 years old and she was only 21. It was an arranged marriage. As a  successful adman and a Round Tabler, I was very active in social circles. In the initial years of our married life, I was indeed shocked to find that she did not fit into my social circles because of her problem communicating in English.  I have described in detail her trials and tribulations on this score in my autobiography and how she came out of it through sheer determination and hard work. 

Though a reluctant starter, Prabha was a fast learner.  Once she got on to something she would put her heart and soul into the job.  Whether cooking meals for a small family of 5 or a party of 40 people,  maintaining her garden with hundreds of plants with love and care, attending music classes and learning new songs, or handling any assignment given to her by the neighborhood Ladies Club or the Inner Wheel Club, she proved to be a very dependable and dedicated worker. Her passion for doing things perfectly earned her a lot of admirers.

Prabha was a fearless person.  No bad news, no calamity, or even a simple accident affected her composure. She was very bold and had been a nemesis for any crawling or slithering creatures that dared to enter our independent home. She was also not a sentimental person judging by her reactions to several situations that I had seen.

Prabha was an intellectual of sorts! Not many people have had the opportunity to see her wax eloquent on Hindu religion, Mythology, Tamil literature & Carnatic music. Her memory and knowledge of these subjects were very good.

All these talents were hidden for the first sixteen years of our marriage when she was bringing up our children while I was very busy building a successful career and very active in social organizations. While I thought everything was going well with Prabha and me, an explosive letter she wrote to me in Tamil, opened up my eyes to the reality and what I did with the letter and how my `out of the box` action became a turning point in her life is already well documented.

Post that event Prabha became an accomplished writer in Tamil and after receiving some training in communication skills in  English she became active in the neighborhood Ladies Club and  Inner Wheel Club of Madras South, which opened up a whole new world to her. She became the 31^st President of the Inner Wheel Club of Madras South.

Prabha`s transformation, from an introvert with low self-esteem to a person who became self-assured and confident was complete. She began to enjoy participating in many social activities. She became so popular in social circles that a stage reached where instead of her being referred to as Rajan`s wife I was being referred to as Prabha`s husband. She became the dream girl that I wanted to marry but she was not in the initial years of our marriage. I began to fall in love with Prabha in her new Avathar. I was truly proud of her progress in life

Prabha was a good wife, a caring mother, a dutiful daughter-in-law, and an affectionate grandmother.  Prabha was also multi-talented.  Apart from her writing and singing abilities, I found her to be also a good storyteller.  Given an opportunity, she could also act or dance. She exhibited a childlike enthusiasm for a lot of things.  When our travels took us to historical places, she would like to know details about everything on display.  You would find her religiously reading all the explanatory boards on display.

Unlike many women I know, she was not a gossipmonger and could get along with anyone because of the simplicity and transparency in her dealings.  Most certainly she was not a cunning person but could be too naive sometimes! Though she was like the proverbial mouse to the outside world she was a tigress at home! I should know! Maybe her children also know of that side of Prabha.

On the negative side, I would say that the obsession she had for maintaining the fairly big house we had, spic and span, sometimes drove everyone, especially me, to go crazy.

Anyone or anything that intruded on her daily routine created tension in her.  While it was an excellent quality to be focused on, sometimes it created explosive situations between us.  However, we had an unwritten understanding that we would never carry forward our anger arising out of a situation to the next day.

 If I have led a very fulfilling life and have a sense of accomplishment, realizing most of my dreams. I must acknowledge the role played by Prabha in my life. If I had a role to play in making her come out of her shell and helped her talents to come to the limelight, I was only doing my duty as she did hers.

Thank you, Prabha for everything.   And pardon me if I disappointed you with some scores!

 

Breaking News or Views!

Unlike many senior citizens who sit glued to a TV set whenever they have spare time (which they have in plenty), I hardly watch television these days. My television viewing is restricted to watching  the news channels an hour before going to bed. Most of the channels seem to be “Breaking (the) News” with the same news  from morning till evening, with every channel claiming  that they are the first to telecast that  particular news. When you get fed up of watching the same news repeatedly  on one channel and try to surf the other news channels-  you find the same breaking news being featured in those  channels too!

Nowadays most of the advertising clips are also the same at any point of time.  I am told that some whiz kids in the Ad Media world came up with the idea of broadcasting the same television commercials  in all the selected channels at the same time, so that even if the viewers skip a channel during ad breaks to go to another news channel, they will find the same commercials running. The ad guys surely know how to get the ‘eyeballs’ of their target audience!

 Then there are the mandatory debates on every Breaking News topic. It is most irritating to see the anchor becoming  the chief judge, conducting a trial by media, cross questioning a bunch of experts that his channel is  able to assemble at short notice. Most of the channels also have their favorite panelists  who appear in their programmes every day. I often wonder how the same experts appear live on different channels at the same time. I have realized that participating in any debate on a news channel requires special skills – to say what you want to say ignoring the constant interjections  by both the anchor and the fellow panelists! Some of the anchors are so obnoxious – they shout at the top of their voices, bulldozing their pre-conceived views  on the panelists,  aggressively  forcing them to agree to their own point of view.

I derive enormous pleasure when I find an articulate and intelligent panelist gives it back to the anchor in the same coin. Some even threaten to walk out of a discussion if the anchor does not allow them to express their views. Like what the late Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu Selvi Jayalalitha did in a  `Devil`s Advocate` programme on CNN IBN some years ago. Fed up with the provocative attitude of the anchor when she got up to leave midway, the `Devil` (Karan Thapar) tried to tell her “It was a pleasure having you in the programme”. She snubbed him, “ It was no pleasure talking to you” and walked out. Another person who was notorious for snubbing the anchors was that `enfant terrible` Lawyer (late) Jethmalani.

 Sometimes, the debates end up becoming shouting matches between panelists, especially when politicians from opposing parties are involved. While I hate the TV debates, I watch them ensnared by the eloquence of some of the panelists. I really admire their abilities to think on their feet or shall we say think on their seats!

 Like millions of people in this country I still prefer my morning newspaper for a comprehensive coverage of national, state and local news. Television can never give me the kind of joy I derive reading a newspaper as most of the times television is only giving views and not news!

 I was surprised recently to see a programme titled `Breaking Views` being telecast by NDTV immediately following their 8 pm news. I wonder how the channel got to read my mind!

Stories from our families

This Sunday I had the privilege of participating in the launch of a  book titled `Nammathu Kadaigal`( Stories from our families). It  was like a big family affair. The book is a collection of  61 short stories/essays in Tamil  by 34 writers, compiled by Dr.Sunderaraman Chintamani. He is  a corporate honcho turned digital Marketing consultant and  a popular professional  speaker  apart from his many other talents.

 I received the first copy of the book from Mr.Suresh, the Managing Director  of the Arun Excello Group of Companies,  a house of Engineering & Construction excellence, whose Senior Citizen facility `JIVA` near Mahabalipuram is becoming  favourite destination for many senior citizens. Other guests of honour on the dais were the ever popular auditor & philanthropist,  Kalaimamani J.Balasubramaniam & `the one woman army`  Girija Raghavan, the editor of Ladies Special magazine. The function which was held in the mini Hall of IIT Tech park in Taramani, anchored ably by Mrs Jayanthi Sunderaraman, was attended by some of the contributing  writers and their families.

The uniqueness of the book is that it contains stories of  families  with brahminical background with generous use of brahminical language/conversations, which according to Dr.Sunderraman is missing from most of the stories published in the last 20 years.  He felt the need for archiving such stories so that the younger generation is aware of the brahminical culture and traditions, which is sadly going out of fashion.  It took him almost five years to compile the book as initially there was resistance from some writers who were worried about participating in a venture which focused on a community. However Sundararaman`s persistence paid and his dream has become a reality.

The book  has the cover designed by auditor and part time artist Sridhar Seethapathy who  has  also done  the illustrations used in every story.

The four dignitaries on the dais offering their felicitations to the author  congratulated him and wished him well.

As a part of the programme, using the power point presentation,  the author gave a brief introduction to all the writers featured in the book .Those present in the audience or their representatives received their first copies from the guests of honour.  This ambitious book  of the author is  self published  by Jingyashika, a company owned by the Sundararaman . The project has been supported by a few sponsors. The 450 pages book is priced at Rs 450/- and is presently available with the author who can be contacted on 9840923764.

 

A DREAM HOME FOR 40 YEARS!

It was 1980, the year when my son  was born  that we decided to buy a plot of land in Sastri Nagar, a beautiful colony where we were staying in a rented house since 1974. I had to opt out of my PF account completely and pay for my share of the cost of the plot (3000sq ft). So  when we started building the 1100 sq.ft. house in 1982 I had no money. A few  friends were kind enough  to lend me the money in  the initial stages.  The generosity of the then Manager of the Walajah Road branch of Standard Chartered Bank who offered me a revolving loan, until I got a housing loan from LIC, also helped!

 After a bad experience with an engineer, I decided to seek  the services of Sheila Sriprakash, the wife of a Tabler friend and a professional architect to give me a new plan. She is today a big name in the world of architecture. The plan she came up with was unique, making effective use of the limited space. A contractor was appointed to build the house. It was going to be the first architect designed home among my family circles.

 I remember the great joy Prabha and I felt, standing on top of a make shift  ladder to  see the roof with freshly laid  concrete by a battery of workers. A roof of our own!

 After performing the necessary puja, we moved into the house on 12^th December,1982. Exactly forty years ago. I was then forty years old. Another milestone in my life and another dream come true since not only did I have a separate room for my parents with an attached bath, but I also built extra toilets to ensure that nobody had to wait in the queue for use of  bathrooms in the mornings! The two bedroom  house had three toilets, with one of them being a common one which could also be used by guests. It was an unforgettable experience for a guy from a Chawl in Bombay who lived in a 250 sq ft room with a family of six, sharing two common toilets with 5O others every morning for 26 long years!

 Over the next 10 years, brick by brick, I added a floor and extra bedrooms to satisfy the demands of my growing children for separate  bedrooms for each of them. Keeping the future in mind  I ensured that the first floor layout was exactly as per the ground floor with provision for an independent kitchen, so that it could become an independent unit when the need arose. In the process of adding facilities, I tried to realize some of my dreams for the house.  A small terrace garden with a small fountain at the first floor level and also facilities for holding parties on the terrace on the second floor were added. The small sit out adjacent to the main drawing room with French doors was later converted into a study with attached bar. This became a multipurpose room where, post retirement, I have my office and also meet friends when they visit me.

The small terrace garden on the first floor was first converted into a study and later into a small guest bedroom. After the renovation necessitated by flooding problem inside the house during the recent rains and the elimination of  the extra guest toilet for the same reason the home now has five proper bedrooms with attached toilets

At its peak of occupation the home had seven people staying –my family of five and my parents. The first to go out was my elder daughter Kavitha  who got married in 1994. The same year, my father passed away just a month before the marriage when he was 79. My second daughter Sowmya got married in 1998 and left home and my mother passed away in 2000 when she was 82. My son Balaji also left  for USA to do his Masters in Industrial Engineering in 2002.

Now the five bedroom independent home had only two people staying– Prabha and I. It was around the same time I was going through tough times in my business. So we decided to rent out the upstairs portion  to a tenant with independent access from outside. The arrangement continued until my son who had  returned from USA  in 2008 and got married the same year to Tulse. After  a brief stay in  Trichy after marriage he decided  to shift to Chennai and set shop  on the first floor of my home. Right from the beginning Prabha and I were clear that we will not merge the families. My son would have his own space and live the life that he wants to live and we will have our own space.

I have continued the same policy even after Prabha left this world in January,2013 when she was only 61.. As of now I live alone on the ground floor and my son whose family has expanded to four members  with the arrival of a son and daughter in quick succession, lives on  the first floor

As long as Prabha was there, being a house proud woman, she would slog to keep the house spotlessly clean. Though I cannot  maintain her standards, I am happy when some guests tell me that the house, particularly the kitchen and the Pooja room  are maintained well.

In the last 40 years I have had some wonderful  moments living in this house. Apart from hosting several memorable get togethers of  family and friends. I had to conduct the engagement ceremony of my elder daughter Kavitha at home, at a very short notice, attended by over 60 family members. The house also witnessed the arrival all my 6 grand children. The four grand children  through my daughters spent their first three months in this house being looked after by their proud & loving  grandmother Prabha.

Arul, my first grand child, born in 1996, was special. I had the energy and inclination to indulge in all his games, as I was still in my fifties. I remember I even recorded his activities for a whole day on video and called it a `A day with Arul`. After the arrival of Uthara, Nila and Keshav  between 2001 and 2003 in quick succession, it was fun when all of them came on a visit during family get togethers. My big `thoppai` was their play ground. Lying on my back in my bed I would allow them to do what they want with my big madhya  pradesh! Oh what fun it was!. Unfortunately I neither have the energy nor stamina to indulge my resident grand children through my son Thavam (4.5yrs) and Bakthi (1.8yrs). At 80, while the spirit is willing the flesh has become weak.

While I have gone through the aging process, hopefully gracefully, my home of 40 years is beginning to show signs of wear and tear.  Should  we go for major repairs or go for redevelopment of the house, as has been done by many house owners in our colony, is a question that is cropping up often these days.  I will leave that decision to my son  as I am beginning to develop a detached attachment  towards all near and dear ones including my beautiful home! I can always live with the memories of this  home just as I have been celebrating the memories of 40 years of my  life with Prabha!

Time to Let go!

Over the years I have been associated with several voluntary & professional organizations.  In some of them  the original founders refused to give up control or refused to `Let Go` which resulted in such organizations’ collapse after the exit of such founders due to natural causes.

I was a trustee in an NGO which was  being run by a dynamic but aging friend, I suggested institutionalizing the organization so that the NGO continues to flourish even after the exit of the founder. My idea was accepted and a retired professional from the corporate sector was appointed to run the NGO on a day-to-day basis. But the founder refused to let go of his control and encouraged staff to come to him with any problems they faced thereby undermining the position of the professional who quit after a couple of years. As expected, the NGO ceased to exist after the demise of the founder.

In a Rotary Club which celebrated its Silver jubilee last year, the original founders, all past presidents now, have dominated the running of the Club so much that they are not able to attract new members resulting in a Past President taking over as the Silver Jubilee President. Unless this club ropes in some new, young members and encourages potential leaders to take over the mantle of the club and empowers them, I will not be surprised if the club ceases to exist after a couple of years.

I also know of a company started by a friend, which grew by leaps and bounds, got into serious trouble when he was immobilized due to a major accident and could not run the company. In the absence of an identified successor to run the company, his family had to sell the company.

Whichever organization that I have founded or in which I  have occupied leadership positions, I have always ensured that there is a lineup of potential leaders to take over the mantle after me.  Wherever possible, I  also tried to institutionalize the running of the organization so that the day-to-day functions ran smoothly, irrespective of the caliber of its leaders.

I have always believed in the power of the youth and encouraged them to come up with new ideas so that the institution continues to grow and stays relevant to the times. There is no point in past presidents constantly harping on what happened during their times and interfering in the affairs of the institution concerned preventing the younger teams to function. Instead, they should provide advice and help only when sought and generally encourage the new teams.

I am proud to say that this is what is happening now  in the Rotary Club of Madras South of which I have been a member since 1977. A  62 years old club it has over 26 Past presidents out of a membership of 75. Thanks to the constant induction of young blood it has become such a vibrant club where the old and new members work hand in hand bonding like a big, happy family!

It is time leaders know when to let go so that not only the institutions survive them but also do better!