Saturday, March 9, 2024

Age is only in the mind...Is It?

 Age is only in the mind; Age is only a number; You are as old as or as young as you think. I hear these words whenever I complain that I have become old and can`t handle certain activities. Like I can`t walk distances, I can`t stand in the same place for long. Climbing stairs has become stressful. Without my hearing aids, I am as good as deaf. I cannot bend and pick up any object lying on the floor. The number of discarded items lying around the waste paper baskets in my home is proof of the problem. The quantity of food I consume has come down drastically. In my younger days, I would order at least three items on the menu in restaurants. Today I found a pair of idlis that make me feel full. I can go on. But I am told that if I think I am young I can get over many of these problems.


Many people don`t like to accept that they have become old. And try to behave like youngsters and get into problems. A Septuagenarian friend who wanted to change a fused bulb in his bedroom, instead of calling his son to do the job, got onto a stool, lost his balance, and fell, resulting in a hairline fracture in his hand. Another friend tried to take a brisk walk down from the third floor of a building using the staircase instead of the lift without holding on to handrails, tripped & fell. Fortunately, he survived with minimum collateral damage. I always say, that while walking up the stairs for an old man is stressful, climbing up or down without holding on to handrails is risky. I find it difficult to climb even a few steps in a shop where there are no hand railings for support. I need the helping hand of some other shopper to climb up.

To all those who say that age is only in mind, I would like to reply that it may be true if restricted only to thoughts. Like you can be a very spirited person oozing positivity even when you are in your nineties, it is different when it comes to your body. Nobody can stop the aging process and the natural wear and tear of the body resulting in restricted movements. There may be exceptions. People who have led a disciplined life from a young age practicing yoga and other such practices may be more fit than others in their old age. But the masses have to accept the reality of old age and behave keeping in mind the restrictions it imposes on their movements.

However, there is no restriction for old people to dream & indulge in fantasies. They can imagine climbing Mount Everest, cavorting around pretty damsels, devouring all the delicious sweets they are banned from eating, or doing whatever they cannot do physically. All only in the mind. Like I do whenever I am down in spirits and need something to pep me up. Because age is only in the mind

Saturday, March 2, 2024

Moving into Nana Nani with Shirdi Sai Baba`s blessings

 It was Sivasankari, the award-winning writer in Tamil, who told me that Baba decides to enter people`s lives and bless them, whenever he chose. It seems Baba entered her life fifteen years ago. Since then she has become an ardent devotee of Baba. Shirdi Sai Baba entered my life four years ago and has become one of my `Ishta deivams` along with my all-time favourites; Venkachalapathy and Vinayaka. I visit his temple every Thursday, wherever I am. I read one or two chapters from his ``Satcharithra` every day as a part of my daily prayers. These days I can feel his presence whenever I am facing a problem or I am in a dilemma about which way to proceed on issues I face in my life.

When I decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home, I was particular that I rent out an apartment in Phase 4 of Nana Nani in Coimbatore. I found phase 4 was the best of the lot of homes I visited when I was writing an article on Senior Citizen Homes. I was told by some friends who are residents of Phase 4 that the vacancies for rented apartments would be known only in February,24 when some of the tenants get possession of the accommodation they had booked in Phase 6 which was expected to be inaugurated in February. They also told me that there was a big waiting list for rented apartments in Phase 4. I was worried.

In December,23 I decided to attend the Navjyoth ceremony of the grandchildren of my good friend and ex-partner Sam Balsara in Mumbai which was scheduled on 20th December,23. When I rang up my schoolmate Sundaresan about my proposed visit, he not only invited me to stay with him but also informed me about the introduction of the Vandhe Bharath train from Mumbai to Shirdi and back on the same day. I jumped with joy and told him that a visit to Shirdi was very much on my cards. Based on his advice I reached Mumbai on 17th December as the train ticket was booked for the following day. Chatting with him on the 17th evening at his home I casually told him about my desire to get an apartment in Phase 4 and how I will have to wait till February to try to get one. He responded immediately with a call to a close friend who was living in Phase 4. That friend informed me that a tenant in his neighbouring flat was moving to another building in the same complex and that the tenant was authorised to recommend a candidate of his choice to the owner of the flat who was living in Bangalore. The next day while I was in Shirdi there was a constant dialogue between me and the friend, who wanted me to rush to Coimbatore immediately to firm up the deal with the tenant. Because of my prefixed programme in Mumbai I could visit Coimbatore only the following week end.

The tenant looked a pious man. He connected me to the owner of the flat who confirmed that it is okay to deal with the tenant in the matter. I gave a month`s deposit out of the five months deposit required to the tenant and returned with the understanding that I would have to go back to Coimbatore in the middle of February to go through the formalities required by the management of Nana Nani and take possession of the flat. The next month was spent in suspense as I was not sure if I had done the right thing by dealing only with the tenant. Adding fuel to the fire a good friend who had visited Nana Nani the previous month told me that without the permission of the management of Nana Nani, it is not possible to get a rented apartment. I was confused and worried. However, I did not contact the Nana Nani management or the owner again, but surrendered to Sai Ram and prayed for the success of my efforts. He did not let me down. After going through some ups and downs and all the formalities including a medical check up I am now well settled in Room No G 206 in Phase 4 of Nana Nani. I believe that the fast-tracking of the whole process of getting the apartment was made possible by my trust in Sai Ram. Om Sai Ram!

More about my experience in Nana Nani in due course!

Monday, February 26, 2024

The beginning of a new chapter


A new chapter in my life has begun. While I am excited about the prospects I am also a little nervous about how things will shape up. My mind goes

back to the time when as a 26-year-old man I took the first bold decision in my life. Within just three years in my dream job with Clarion Mc Cann advertising, based on the advice given by my well-wishers I decided to move to a one-bedroom, two toilets attached flat in Santacruz, Mumbai. The rent was Rs. 400 per month. My salary then was only Rs 1000 per month. The 250 sq.ft room in a chawl in Matunga, where my family of six was staying, sharing two toilets with 56 others every morning, was costing my father only Rs 20 per month. A very cautious man that he was, my father refused to move to the flat with the family. His argument was if for any reason I lost my job the whole family would be in the streets. However, due to unexpected circumstances, the family moved with me within a year, justifying my decision. With divine grace and elders' blessings, I moved up very fast in my career ultimately landing in Chennai, where for the next 50 years I had a glorious inning realising many of my dreams and also leaving behind my footprints on the sands of time in several professional and service organizations that I was associated with. It was a period of many achievements and new experiences which made my life meaningful. During this period many out-of-the-box solutions I found to many of the problems I faced, proved to be right. Including what I did with an explosive letter my wife wrote to me which became a turning point in her life and our relationship. I am sure that my well-considered decision to move to Nana Nani, the senior citizen home in Coimbatore would also turn out right. After all it was Shirdi Saibaba who fast-tracked the whole process. Look for my next posting to know more details.

 

Sunday, February 18, 2024

A recognition after 30 years

 

Amid many farewell get-togethers, I attended a meeting with a difference. It was organised by the First batch of students of the Post Graduate Diploma Course in Advertising conducted by the Advertising Club Madras that was launched during my year as the President of the club in 19994. Vijay Vasudeven the ever enthusiastic member of the group had managed to get 10 out of 19 participants in the course to attend the event to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the course and also to honour me for initiating the course which changed their lives for the better. While I feel delighted to get the recognition after 30 years, I think it would be appropriate for me to reproduce an extract from my autobiography which talks about my involvement with the Advertising club Madras and how the idea for the course was mooted and implemented .
"When K.A. Srinivasan, a veteran committee member became the President in 1992-93, he invited me to take over as the Convenor of the Club’s own building project. As a first step, I prepared a project report, clearly spelled out the objectives, outlined a structure and also worked out a budget. Armed with this document, I approached some of the leading lights in the agency business in Madras for their support.
Encouraged by the positive response I got, we started looking out for a suitable office space. Over the years, the club had saved about Rs. 5 lakhs. However, most of the premises on offer required more than Rs.10 lakhs. It was then that I came to know that my friend, Tabler Indu Chandhok had some office space available in Carex Centre, the building owned by his group company. Though the total value of the property was Rs. 9 lakhs and we were Rs.4 lakhs short, Indu, because of my personal relationship with him, agreed to sell the property to the Club, on condition that we pay the balance within a specific time. He was kind enough to allow us to take possession of the property and start work on the interiors. The property was registered towards the end of Srinivasan’s term as President. It was a proud moment for all of us when we performed the Pooja at our own premises on the second floor of Carex Centre, centrally located off Anna Salai.
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When I took over as President from Srinivasan in 1993, not only did I have to raise Rs. 4 lakhs to pay Indu Chandhok for the premises, but I also had to find the money for the interiors. R. Krishnamurthy of Eenadu, one of the pillars of Ad Club those days and I called on R.K. Swamy, N. Murali from the Hindu and others for help. Swamy straightaway committed Rs. 3 lakhs, N. Murali Rs. 2 lakhs and another Rs. 60,000/- came from Shanth Kumar of Deccan Herald. An appeal to the members to contribute to the Building Fund helped in donations coming in from several small and big agencies and also individual members.
Once sufficient funds were collected, Srini helped with the interiors which not only served as a classroom for 20 students and a library, but also had a corner where the administrative secretary and his assistant could be seated. I managed to bring in Janardhanan, who helped me run the Round Table India Secretariat, to help set up the Secretariat of the Ad Club Madras. It was a dream come true for all of us when on 24th February 1994, we inaugurated the ’Centre for Advertising’ at our own premises with Arun Nanda, the then President of Advertising Agencies Association of India (AAAI) as the Chief Guest. In his speech, Mr. Nanda acknowledged that it was the first time ever that such a centre was established by any Ad club in India. He was also delighted to learn about the proposed PG diploma course in advertising that the club was planning and wished it all success!
The PG Diploma course was my solution to the perennial problem of man power shortage in the booming advertising industry at that time. A jewel in the crown of Ad Club Madras, as it was called those days, the project was planned as an integral part of the permanent secretariat, to ensure continuous activity in the club and also to provide a regular income. The course initially trained 20 students, the number limited by the capacity of the classroom.”
Though I started it, the credit for running the course successfully for more than 20years should go to Past President Jagannath Ramaswamy,as the Course Director. It is not often that a Past President of any club can sustain his interest in any activity for such a long time. I am happy that Vijay and his team also honoured Jagannath at the function.
It was appropriate that the current office bearers of the club under the dynamic leadership of Bala also participated in the event. It is heartening to note that the course, after a gap due to the pandemcic, has been relaunched, with new syllabi. While I congratulate Vijay for conceiving the idea of the alumni get together of the First batch I hope he will help in forming an alumni Association of all past students of the course. I wish him and the office bearers of the Adclub Madras all the best in their endeavours to take the club to greater heights

Saturday, February 10, 2024

11th Anniversary of Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation.

Eleven years have flown by since the passing away of my life partner of 40 years on 5th January 2013. Instead of mourning her death, I have been celebrating her memory through the activities of the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation ( PRTF), which I founded in her memory. Apart from being an accomplished writer in Tamil, Prabha was also interested in singing, gardening, and social work. She was a house-proud woman who believed in maintaining a beautiful home to which one was happy to return every day. I have been living with beautiful memories of my life with her for the last 11 years!

In the last 11 years, PRTF has held essays, short stories, novella contests, and many other ideas in association with Kalaimagal, Mangayar Malar, Ladies Special, and Amudhasurabhi magazines. Has supported 15 budding female writers in Tamil by co-sponsoring the printing of their books mainly published by Manimekalai Prasuram. PRTF also contributes towards women-centric projects of the Rotary Club of Madras South & Inner Wheel Club of Madras South. Many other projects to support deserving female students are also conducted regularly.

Last year PRTF for the first time associated with Kuvikam to conduct a short story competition and in association with Ladies Special magazine recognized two women achievers, both senior citizens with the PRTF Role Model Awards, This year also this programme with Kuvikam and LS repeated.

This year`s event, held at the Anand Chandrashekar Mini Hall in West Mambalam, was a modest affair with 60 60-plus audience. Many of them were accomplished writers in Tamil. The event was conducted with aplomb by Girija Raghavan, editor of Ladies Special magazine, a guest of honour who also doubled also as the Emcee of the evening. After the mandatory prayer and the welcome address by me, the first part of the event witnessed, the 91-year-old Mrs Padma Mani and the 83-year-old Mrs Padma Rajan receiving the PRTF Role Model Awards, given in association with Ladies Special magazine. Presented to them to prove that age is no bar for pursuing one`s passion. This was followed by the release of the 200th book of Kuvikam, containing the prize-winning stories from the short story contest conducted by Kuvikan, prizes sponsored by PRTF. Kirubanandan one of the Kuvikam twins, in his talk briefly traced the story of Kuvikam and briefly explained the process of judging practiced this year. He mentioned that the first three prizes were from the short-listed entries by a panel of three judges chosen by the well-known bilingual writer Vasanthy. It was interesting to hear that over 250 entries were received for the contest this year. The book was released by the chief Guest Dr. S. Murugusundaram, an accomplished Tamil writer and a well-known skin specialist. The first copy was received by Ravi Tamilvanan, Director of Manimekalai Prasuram and a close associate of PRTF right from its inception. The last event witnessed the chief guest distributing the cash prizes to the First three prize winners. In his address, laced with humour, Dr. Murugusundaram, congratulated the Role Model Awardees and the prize winners in the short story contest. He also appreciated the PRTF's efforts to bring to the limelight the hidden talents of talented women, age no bar. He also talked about his second book titled `Dr.Valluvar`, a self-help book in which he gives useful tips based on the health-related sayings of Valluvar. A copy of the book was given free to those interested.

Thank you Kirubanandan and Girija Raghavan for organising and managing the event this year with your trademark efficiency.

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Return of my baby after 52 days!

 It was on 11th December 2023 that my car was towed away to Cars India Ambattur Works, where all the cars affected by the recent cyclone were being attended to. I did not then realize that the works had 350 cars to repair and restore and my car was one of them. Though I was promised that my car would be back in 30 days, it has taken Cars India, Ambattur, 52 days to return the car, and that too after persistent & often frustrating follow up with the concerned persons in charge of my car.


I am a strong believer in the Maruti brand for their maintenance-free cars and good resale value. Have also had the benefit of their excellent after-sales service through Cars India, Adyar branch for the last 30 years. Starting with Maruthi- 800, I have owned an Esteem, Swift, Ritz, and now an automatic Ceelerio over the years. As an old customer of Cars India, I thought I would get a preference in dealing with my case. That did not happen.

It is interesting that in the last 40 years of my stay in the current house water used to enter my car every time there was heavy rain and there was flooding around the house. I never had a problem starting the car after the flood water receded. Though the water level was slightly higher than usual, I decided not to try and start the car because of the message from insurance companies going Viral on WhatsApp, warning car users of the severe damage to the Engines, if the car was started in a flood situation. When I contacted the Adyar Branch, the person in charge also advised me not to take the risk. He arranged for a towing service to tow my car to their Ambattur works, which cost me Rs 8000. I felt sad to see my car being towed away for the first time in 40 years. It felt as if a near and dear one was being taken to a hospital in an Ambulance.

I am very disappointed with the way that my case was handled by Cars India Ambattur. While I can understand that there was a huge pressure on them dealing with hundreds of Cars, I was upset that I was not being given the correct picture when I started following up with them after 30 days. False promises and wrong status reports were being given to me. Unfortunately, the work was so far away that I had no desire to go and physically check the situation.
Anyway, I am happy that the car is back with me. Needless to say, I was as happy as one feels when a near and one returns from a hospital after a successful surgery. After going through the final bill I realized that the car was not very badly damaged. In hindsight, I feel that the Car could have been repaired at the Adyar branch and I would have got the car without having to suffer the undue delay by the Ambattur works. That is the price I had to pay for overreacting to the viral message on WhatsApp.

The positive side of the story is that I got used to the idea of living without a car. Something which I intend to do when I go to Coimbatore. I am not taking the car with me but will use the excellent call taxi service available in CBE.

I must thank all my friends and family for providing me the ` CAR SEVA` whenever I needed it. God bless them!

Saturday, January 20, 2024

I am moving to Coimbatore

  29 years in Mumbai, 3 years in New Delhi, and after 50 years in Chennai I will be moving to Coimbatore in March 2023 to lead a life without responsibilities

I thought I would share with you the reasons for my decision to move to Nana Nani (Phase 4) a Senior Citizen Home in Coimbatore, though   I already have a good support system in Sastri Nagar where I am staying with my son`s family surrounded by siblings living in the same housing complex.

The idea took root in my mind after I wrote the article titled `Home away from Home- a Life without Responsibilities`  for which I visited several Senior Citizen Homes and interviewed scores of residents in such homes. Most of them were  NRI parents with their children staying abroad. But many of them were also seniors whose children were staying in Coimbatore or other cities. Still, they opted for the Home because of the independent life without day-to-day responsibilities such Homes offered. I found most of them were very happy with their life in such Homes.

After Prabha passed away in 2013, I was enjoying the independent life I was leading, looking after myself and offering whatever physical help I could offer to others.   In the last couple of years, the aging process and the consequent steady decline in my health with all kinds of aches and pains have made me worry about the possibility of my becoming dependent on my children and a nuisance value. I miss Prabha now.  She could have taken minute-to-minute care of me if I was unwell as only a life partner can do, without my feeling guilty about it. This has created an anxiety syndrome in me. My spirit is still willing to take on challenges but the flesh is becoming weaker and weaker.

Today well-run senior citizens' homes offer an excellent alternative life for those who are financially independent and who are living alone leading an insecure life. They also provide reliable facilities for dependent parents living with children in nuclear families when they are not in a position to provide any help to their children because of a lack of energy and stamina.  As I find myself with my two little resident grandchildren. They are fun but I find that I can`t run after them or cope with their boundless energy.

Some children appoint full-time caregivers to look after their dependent parents. This is not practical for everyone due to space constraints and other reasons. Many of the senior citizen homes offer assisted living facilities within the community without the children having to worry about such parents on a day-to-day basis. Though at present I don`t need such care, I am looking ahead and being prepared for any eventualities.

The second reason is the condition of the beautiful Home I built 42 years ago. Age is also catching up with the Home which is witnessing many cracks endangering the security of the family. Though I  have seen water entering the ground floor of my independent home where I stay almost every year when it rains heavily, the recent experience because of the cyclone in Chennai has broken my endurance limits. I don`t want to live in the house to face the nightmare of another flooding of the house. With the possibility of my siblings also moving out for the same reason, and the families going for a redevelopment of the property, I  wanted to clear the way for my son so that he can look at plans without having to worry about me.

Why Coimbatore when there are many Senior Citizen Homes in and around Chennai? Better weather and the fact that my younger daughter Sowmya is now settled in Coimbatore who could be a first respondent in case of a health emergency, have influenced the decision.

I want to make it clear that the decision is based on my habit of thinking ahead and looking for out-of-the-box solutions to some of the problems I faced in my life. I  may still come back to Chennai if I am not happy with life in the new Home as the lease of the apartment is for 11 months only. Besides I will keep visiting Chennai whenever an occasion demands my visit. So friends in Chennai, do not bid me goodbye, yet