SHORTS IN THE DARK

 I saw a programme of short plays in English, ranging from 15 minutes to 20 minutes each, at a Show titled `Shorts in the dark` organized by Coimbatore Arts and Theatre Society, this Sunday. This society, founded by K.V.Siddhartha, has been promoting the amateur stage in Coimbatore. All the plays directed by different directors were good, but only a few actors stood out for living their roles. Among the five plays I saw, while I liked the play `In search of truth` featuring the husband and wife team of Shakthi and Gaury Chakravarthy, I felt, like many others in the audience, that  `The Waltz`, the last play to be  the best play among the five I saw, with a contemporary theme scripted by Mr.Vithal Rajan, an octogenarian writer and activist who lives in Coonoor and directed by Rohini Sivalingam a professional story teller and writer.

 My younger daughter, a performing artist and a well-known professional storyteller in the family, acted as the old lady and Pradeep Yuvaraj, a business storyteller, as the old man. It was a demanding role for both, and I must say that both did not act but lived their respective roles. The intense emotion shown by Sowmya in the last scene brought tears to the eyes of many in the packed audience. My elder daughter, Kavitha, the visual artist in the family,  had come from Chennai specially to see her younger sister excel in the role she played.

The programme was held in the ITC Welcome Hotel on Race Course Road, which was the Venue Partner. There was a packed audience consisting of friends and relatives of the performing artists, who had paid Rs.1,500 each to witness not only some good plays but also indulge in the sumptuous snacks provided during breaks and a delicious lunch, provided by the hotel, after the show. Food for the mind and the stomach indeed! It was a time well spent on a Sunday morning.

 

 

A low-key Birthday!

 Normally, if I were in Chennai, I would have organised a spirited birthday party in the evening in which all my family members and a few close friends would have participated. It was different this year. A low-key birthday celebration on my turning 83 and entering the 84^th milestone. Made special by the participation of my cousin Ashok and his wife, Priya, from Pune. A  made-for-each-other couple,  whom I admire a lot for the genuine affection they display and their mutual respect. Ashok has become a senior Citizen recently, having turned 60 last year. He and his wife were on a two-day visit to Coimbatore after visiting Bangalore, to meet me and a few other friends in Coimbatore. Ashok agreed to extend his stay by a day to be with me on my birthday. So nice of him. He chose to stay in the guest house here to have first-hand experience of the Place. He was not disappointed.

The day started with us visiting the nearby Varadraja Perumal temple and performing an archanai. Followed by a lunch I hosted at Kailash Parbat restaurant in which my daughter Sowmya and son-in-law Sathya participated, along with my Schoolmates Raju & wife Geetha and Balu, my adopted brother in Nan Nani and his wife Laxmi.  Have written about Balu`s helpful nature in an earlier posting. He is truly amazing- a good Samaritan in our community.

The delicious meal ended with our having  Malai Kulfi in Rabadi, a speciality in KB here. After mandatory selfies and group photos, we returned to our respective homes. There was  Ananya`s Games Event organised by Ananya`s Games Team in the evening, which saw many residents participating with childlike enthusiasm. I stayed at the event only for a short duration. The evening ended with our having a simple dinner at the dining hall – mini idlis in sambar and curd rice.

While extending a special thanks to Ashok and Priya for spending a full day with me on my birthday, I would also like to thank all my Facebook friends for remembering an old friend. The most unexpected call came from Supriyo Das, my old colleague in Grant K & E. On the whole, it was a simple but intimate get-together, which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Boredom and depression among children

 

 Growing up in a chawl in Bombay, I remember there was no time for me to get bored. There was some activity or another happening in the building complex for all age groups. I was kept busy with friends from my age group playing some games in the building complex or at the nearby Matunga Gymkhana. I would come back from school, throw the schoolbag in one corner, partake of whatever tiffin mother gave me and off I went to play with friends. No worry about security. My parents worried about me if I did not return home before the appointed time. In my case, it was 7.00 pm. Living in a chawl was like living in a big joint family. We lacked the basic conveniences we take for granted these days, but life was fun then. We learned to manage many of our problems ourselves without the involvement of parents. The constant social interaction with friends in the community helped us. Parenting was not as challenging as it is today.

 

Times have changed drastically. Nuclear families have replaced joint families. While gated communities provide some security and opportunities for social interaction, stand-alone apartments where many nuclear families live, there is less interaction among neighbours. Bringing up children has become a humongous task for parents. Security concerns prevent parents from allowing their children to move freely. Though mobiles and the internet help them keep their children busy, the gadgets have their negative aspects as well. Today, it is not surprising to see many children in their teens, exposed to social media, showing signs of depression.

 

`Preteens who spend more time on social media may be at greater risk for depression, according to a US study published in JAMA Network open,` as reported in the Health  supplement of  one of the issues of The WEEK magazine

 

To ensure that this does not happen, parents have to see that their children are engaged in some physical or mental activity. Interaction with other children in the community or outside, by inviting them home or arranging for their children to visit their friends' homes to play, helps. Encouraging such children to participate in one sports activity ( badminton, table tennis, cricket or football, etc.) and one creative activity (  music, dance, drawing, etc) or anything else in which the child shows interest would also help them develop their inherent talents. Such children turn out to be confident kids, full of life. I am witnessing this in the case of my son`s two kids. My daughter-in-law gave up her job to concentrate on the two kids, a son and a daughter. She is exposing them regularly to many new ideas and games and encouraging them to be creative. While she spends a lot of time with them, my son tries to keep them engaged during weekends. They also try to keep a check or even control the use of smart phones or other electronic gadgets by the kids.

 

If the parents show enough understanding of their children`s problems, be available to them whenever they want them, and learn to trust them, children will respond positively.  In other words, be a trusted friend to your kids. At least one of the parents should assume that role! If that happens, not only with the children never get bored, but there is very little possibility of such children becoming depressed. 

A Honorary Award as a writer!

 Pachyderm Tales is a literary consultancy and education company focused on promoting STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Mathematics) education and supporting artists and storytellers. Pachyderm, in association with Ananyas Nana Nani Homes, announced a short story/essay competition in Tamil and English two months ago for writers in all Phases of Nana Nani Homes.  The suggested topic was `How the residents faced challenges in life or Unforgettable experiences in their lives`. There was an enthusiastic response from the residents of Nana Nani, many of them writing for the first time. In addition to the prizes given to participating writers, three established writers were chosen for an Honorary Award. Two from Tamil ( Mrs Mythili  Narayanan and Mrs Sushi Krishnamurthy from Phase 4) and  I had the pleasure of receiving the Honorary Award as a writer in English from Dr. Umamaheshwari Yuvaraj, JMD of Ananya group at a function held on 25^th July 2025. The event, attended by a large gathering of residents from all Phases of Nana Nanai, also witnessed the release of two books containing a collection of all entries received from the residents in book form, titled `Pearls of wisdom` in English and `Gnana Muthukkal` in Tamil. My essay titled  `A Turning Point`, based on a real-life story, appears in the  book containing essays /stories in English. It is a nice feeling to receive two awards as a writer within six months.

Battle of the Bulge (Revised)

During my morning walks in Chennai, I would see a friend doing exercises on the parapet wall at the beachfront in Besant Nagar. He was on all fours with his protruding belly dangling prominently to the twists and turns that he was attempting. It was a sight to behold. I stopped and asked him the purpose of the exercise. He said that he was trying his best to reduce his tummy and look trim. I know that he has been trying to do this for several years without luck. I wished him good luck and moved on. It brought back memories of my bulging tummy and my efforts to reduce it for several decades.

Before I acquired a bulging tummy, also known as a `paunch`, I was a thin guy. My waist was so slim that even a baby belt would not hold my pants. I used to wrap a piece of cloth around my waist and then pull up my pants to ensure that it did not slip down.

There is a story behind how I acquired the `paunch`. Throughout my student days and the early part of my career, my mother did her best to help me gain weight. She forced me to eat vegetables & fruits. She would roast a few badam kernels and give it to me every morning with butter. I was also given an extra quantity of milk to consume at night. Nothing worked. What she could not achieve for a decade happened during my stay at Murugan Lodge in Calcutta, where I gorged on the delicious meals they served. I had spent three months in Calcutta undergoing training in advertising at the second-largest advertising agency at that time. During my stay as a trainee, I was also introduced to drinking beer. I was told that as an adman, I would have to do a lot of entertaining and drinking alcohol was a prerequisite for a successful adman. In three months, not only did I learn about the advertising business but also learnt how to gulp down three bottles of beer without any problems. My tryst with the bulging `Madhya Pradesh` started in Calcutta which eventually became an integral part of my body. In the early years, girls in my office used to call me `roly-poly`. My efforts to reduce the tummy over the years were not successful because of my inability to control my eating and drinking habits.

However, I found that my tummy was a great asset when my four grandchildren through my daughters arrived in this world in quick succession between 1996 to 2003. My `Thoppai` as they would call my bulging tummy was their playground. All that I had to do was lay still on my back exposing my Thoppai. They would go berserk playing with it. One of them would play drums on it, another one would give it a massage and the third one would give it an imaginary bath using appropriate sound effects. It was a joy beyond compare. For a change, I was happy to possess a Thoppai.

Eventually, my Thoppai` did shrink, after the two hospitalisation experiences I went through about 10 years ago. Thanks to a complete change in my lifestyle since then, I lost about eight kgs in six months. While I am fighting hard to ensure that I maintain my reduced weight, I am happy that the smaller bulge in my `Madhya Pradesh` has allowed me to reuse half a dozen tight-fitting pants that I had stopped wearing.

A small victory in my `Battle of the Bulge`!

This article appeared in the Adyar Times issue dated December, 14/06/2019

PS: Since the publication of this article I have put on weight. My Madhya Pradesh has gone back to its original size. All the pants I restored have become useless. My `Battle of the Bulge` continues.

 

 

A Farewell visit to Chennai? Not yet!

 I was visiting Chennai after three months. Primarily to attend the Upanayanam ceremony of my brother`s grandson on 27^th June. As I found I could attend a couple of get-togethers of a few groups with which I am associated,  and meet most of my friends,  I decided to reach Chennai on 21^st June, and return to Coimbatore on 30^th June. Though I had invitations to stay with my children, this time I decided to stay at the guest house of the Gandhi Nagar Club because I wanted to be independent and not bother my children. Besides, by staying at the guest house I could entertain my friends and also  meet my walking friends at the Bessy, every morning.

While it was a joy to meet all my friends and relatives during the short visit, the sweltering heat in Chennai hit me badly. After experiencing the salubrious weather in  Coimbatore, when I got out of the aircraft at Chennai at 3.30 pm, I could not bear the searing heat of the sun that welcomed me.

After checking into the guest house and spending a pleasant time with my son`s family, who had come to meet me, I had to rush to a dinner meeting of the 41 club (an association of ex-Round Tablers with the motto `May the Hinges of Friendship Never Rust`) at the Cosmopolitan Club. The next morning I attended the AGM of SHARAN, a Senior Citizen group consisting mostly of NRI parents, with the motto, `For Mutual Support`, at the Gandhi Nagar Club. On Tuesday evening, I had the privilege of attending the 66<sup>th</sup> Installation meeting of the Rotary Club of Madras South( RCMS), held at GRT Grand Hotel in T.Nagar. I was a member of RCMS for 47 years and the 31<sup>st</sup> President ( 90-91).  From June 25<sup>th</sup> to 27<sup>th,</sup> I was busy attending family get-togethers associated with the Upanayanam. In between, I was also visiting a few close friends and relatives. The trip ended with the Breakfast meeting on 29<sup>th</sup> at Tag Centre organised by my good friend R.T. Chari, where I thoroughly enjoyed the lec dem on `A Pictorial Tour of Mahakumbh 2025 - A Spectacle Once in 144 Years by Mr V R Ajitkumar. It was a brilliant presentation on Mahakumbh where the speaker walked us through the Mahakumbh, describing the mind-blogging efforts that had gone into organizing the mega event by the UP government at Prayagraj.

At the end of the 10-day trip, I felt exhausted. Apart from the hectic schedule, the humidity in Chennai made me feel miserable. A few friends quipped," You were living in  Chennai for 50 years. Why are you complaining now?` To which my answer is,”I did not have the opportunity to experience an alternative. An air-conditioner addict in  Chennai, I have managed two summers ( March to mid-May) in Coimbatore without an air conditioner in my flat”.

I am not only enjoying its beautiful weather 10 months of the year but also the pollution-free atmosphere in the community where I am living. Besides the wonderful friends I have made here make me feel like part of a happy family.

Though I have become a 100% Coimbatorean, I cannot say goodbye to Chennai yet, as I would have to attend important functions of family and close friends in the future. However, I have decided that in future my trips would be only for a day or two to attend specific functions and return to Coimbatore the next day. I have had enough of Chennai!

Though I still have the enthusiasm to do things, my energy levels are going down. While the mind says `think young`, the body says, `enough is enough, respect your age and restrict your activities`. I have decided to respect my body!

Importance of smartphones for senior citizens

 I have been in touch with an old friend who is an acute patient of arthritis. A nonagenarian with an octogenarian wife, the couple have been living in a small two-bedroom flat in an apartment complex, not far from where their children,  a son and a daughter, live in the city. The son is a busy professional, while his daughter-in-law runs a small business outfit, which keeps her busy.  With grown-up children studying abroad, both children keep visiting their parents and try to look after all their needs. They also ensure that their parents get the best medical attention. 

As long as they were physically fit, my friend and wife used to attend all social events and had a good time, keeping themselves busy. Things changed once their health issues led to their having mobility problems. While my friend and his wife were familiar with the internet and kept in touch with their near and dear ones using their laptop and a basic mobile, for some reason, they were not allowed to use a smartphone by their children. They probably feared that their parents would not be able to handle a smartphone and would be exposed to irrelevant and sometimes negative messages on WhatsApp.

When I rang up my friend the other day, he was sounding depressed. In his feeble voice, he told me that he was taking some medication for his depression, which is making him feel drowsy and sleepy all the time. His wife came on the line and told me that though their children are taking good care of them,  after a few friendly neighbours who were giving them good company every day had moved out, they felt isolated. They started missing the company of friends. Talking to friends and relatives, they realised that in the absence of a smartphone with WhatsApp facility, they were missing the opportunity to get instantly connected to the outside world, which would help them keep mentally occupied  and keep their spirits high. An idle mind is the devil`s workshop. So the couple is constantly thinking of their health problems and indulging in self-pity, leading to depression in my friend`s case. I am aware that depression in old age could lead to dementia and other problems associated with it. I felt bad for them that the children had not realised the importance of smartphones for their parents.

As a resident of a popular senior citizen home in Coimbatore, I have seen the role that smartphones are playing in the lives of the residents here, many of them living alone, with their children living abroad. Such children not only connect with their parents on video calls every other day but also share photos or videos of their activities, making the parents happy. Besides, smartphones also help such residents stay connected with the happenings in the community. Those with mobility problems, who are unable to physically attend popular programmes hosted by the residents, are able to see the videos of the events the following day.  Smartphones keep them busy. If they have an issue with the phone, they seek the help of a tech-savvy resident and get their problems resolved.

In the case of my friend, if he or his wife has a problem with the smartphone, I am sure they could get some bright, tech-savvy youngster in their apartment complex to solve their problem, without disturbing their children.

As I have been repeatedly saying, socialising with friends is very important for senior citizens, however caring the children might be. Smartphones, particularly WhatsApp, surely make up for the lack of physical socialising, especially for senior citizens with mobility problems.

Food for thought for children of elderly parents who are living alone!

 

 

Simple Solutions to nagging problems

 Very often, we suffer from problems without realizing that the solutions are within easy reach. For several months, I would get up from my bed every morning with aches and pains in different parts of the body, especially the back and hip joints. Visits to the doctor, followed by medication, did nothing to improve the situation. Then I saw an advertisement for a Memory Foam mattress. From the time I started using it, the body pain that I would experience in the mornings has vanished. It is another matter that nowadays I do suffer from age-related shifting pains below the waist, which I am learning to live with.

A friend of mine was suffering from acute arthritis. When all kinds of treatments failed, a doctor friend advised him to go to a swimming pool, not to swim, but to walk the length of the pool in the water, up and down a couple of times every day. My friend found that this unusual treatment gave him some relief, though he still has the problem.

 Most of us have experienced shoe bites caused by ill-fitting footwear or the infection and itching caused by socks or undergarments made of material that doesn’t suit us. Incorrect posture at work is a contributing factor to the acute back problems faced by a growing number of ‘techies’ who sit for hours at a stretch, glued to their laptops. Maintaining the correct posture and taking regular breaks from work can help ease the problem

For several years, I suffered from ‘dry cough’, often accompanied by wheezing which sounded like a multi-organ orchestra. I used to feel miserable. Tests revealed no specific problem. The doctors attributed it to general pollution in the atmosphere and allergy to something or other. While trying to identify the cause of my allergy, my son discovered that every morning and evening, I was in the habit of lighting up agarbathis in the Puja room as I liked the divine feeling, triggered by their fragrance. On his suggestion I stopped lighting the agarbathis. Sure enough, my dry cough and wheezing slowly vanished, and I am now free from the problem that had plagued me for years.

Whenever you find that you are suffering from a nagging problem, talk about it to friends. Someone might help you find a simple solution lying under your nose!

--

 

 

 

 

 

8th Anniversary and an Award!

 8^th anniversary of Phase 4 of Nana Nani was celebrated in a grand manner on 3^rd & 4^th June,2025. The first day, 3^rd June,  witnessed ` An evening of Cultural delight` with a variety entertainment progamme masterminded by Vidhya Venkatachalam, the popular leader of  Dream Team, which is famous for its dance-oriented programmes. Active participation by talented residents, including some Octogenarians (80+), was appreciated by the packed audience at the Meditation Hall. The event also recognized three residents for their achievements, including yours truly. I received the `Inspiring Writer Award` from Vidhya, dressed in a man`s costume for an item to follow. All three residents had missed receiving our Awards at the New Year Bash held on 2^nd January, as we were not in town. Vidhya was particular that the Awards should be presented to us only at the next big function organised by the Dream Team.. A thoughtful gesture from her. This is the first public recognition I am getting as a writer.

4^th June was reserved for celebrations at the In house Mahalaxmi Temple where different puja`s were performed from the morning, ending up with a grand procession of the presiding deities on a big  Hanuman shaped Chariot,  mounted on a Hand cart,  going around the complex,  visiting very block, where devotees made their offerings,  seeking divine grace! Though such anniversary celebrations happen every year, this was the first time I was attending. I was impressed with the amount of effort put in by both the management and the residents to make it a grand affair!

 

 

A CASE OF CARE & CONCERN

 I want to share a positive experience I had with our in-house clinic in Nana Nani. Two nights ago, I had a bad attack of Vomiting at 1.00 am, followed by a feverish feeling,  which made me feel drained.  In the morning, although I felt better, I called the clinic to have my basic health parameters checked. Kalimuthu, the sole male assistant in the clinic, came and checked me. While he found that I had no temperature, my blood pressure was slightly higher, reading 90/150. He gave me a tablet for immediate relief and advised me to visit the duty doctor at 10 am. While I was busy with my morning chores, I got a call from Kalimuthu at 10.15 am wanting to know why I had not come to visit the doctor. On his insistence, I met the junior doctor who, after a physical examination, told me that he suspected that I was suffering from gastroenteritis and prescribed a medicine to be taken for five days.  While I appreciated the care and concern shown by Kalimuthu, what happened the next morning when I returned to my apartment from a temple visit around 11.30 am took me by total surprise.

I had just entered my room and closed the door when Kalimuthu came barging in and stood transfixed, seeing me. He had run up the stairs to reach my home on the second floor and was gasping. `’You are alright, Sar,” so saying he hugged me tightly. I asked him what happened. He said, " I just received a call from Mrs Sushi Krishnamurthy living in the same block, that the maid who had come to do her duty at your apartment found it locked from inside. The light and the fan in the hall were on, but you were  not opening the door despite her ringing the bell repeatedly.”

Since the maid was aware that I was not well the previous day, she had reported her concern to the resident where she had gone for her duty. Mrs Sushi Krishnamurthy, a well-wisher, promptly rang up the clinic. Kalimuthu, who took the call, came rushing up and was happy to find that I was alive and kicking.

I would like to record my sincere thanks to Kalimuthu for his prompt response to a call from a resident. He could have tried to reach me on my phone but since the clinic is just opposite my block, he decided to personally visit and check on me.

This is the third time I have had such a positive experience of the services of the in-house clinic in the last 15 months of my stay in N & N. I congratulate  Shantha,  Chief Nurse and her team for the dedication and commitment they show to their jobs. God bless them!

 

Alternative Therapy (Updated)

My friend Ramesh had to undergo a major surgery for a serious back problem at a five-star corporate hospital specialising in Cancer treatment. A biopsy after the surgery revealed that he was suffering from Multiple Myeloma in an advanced stage. Doctors wanted to start him on chemotherapy and other related treatments. Having heard that the treatment is worse than the disease, he took a bold decision that he would look at alternative therapy. He was already a believer in naturopathy and his Bangalore-based doctor agreed to treat him and promised him that while he may not be able to cure the disease at such an advanced stage, he could at least contain the disease and prevent it from spreading fast, thus giving him the chance to continue to lead a comparatively normal life. Of course, he had to submit himself to a strict regimen of diet and herbal medicines. His wife supported his decision and helped him adhere to the regimen. Whereas the cancer specialists had predicted that without the chemotherapy treatment, he would not live for more than six months, he lived for more than three years, leading as normal a life as he could. During this period, he attended all social gatherings and visited  the USA to spend time with his children and grandchildren. Only in the last two months, he was bedridden and was looked after at home by a full-time attendant/nurse. No ICUs and no life support system.  When his time was up, he made a peaceful exit from this world, surrounded by his family. I believe, besides the treatment, his immense faith in the alternative therapy kept him going.

 I want to share my own experiences with alternative therapy. When I was only thirty-eight, I was diagnosed with glaucoma, a dreadful eye disease that can lead to blindness if not treated in time. The eye specialist told me that I would have to live with specific eye drops for the rest of my life and that if the problem worsened, he would perform surgery. The drops had exactly the opposite effect of those used for dilating your eyes when you go for any eye check-up. The result was that I found it difficult to read or drive my car. I was shattered! Instead of bottling up, I always talk about my health problems openly, so that someone can refer me to a possible solution.   A  good friend recommended that I try Magneto Therapy as it had cured his uncle of double vision when all other systems had failed. I found a person in Kilpauk who was a specialist in Magneto Therapy. I underwent the treatment for nine months, after which, when I went to the same eye specialist I had gone to earlier, for a check-up, he was surprised to find that I was cured of the problem. Of course, I had to strictly follow some instructions to prevent the recurrence of the problem, such as not to strain my eyes by reading books lying down or with very small typefaces.

 About twenty years ago, when I was diagnosed with kidney stones and recommended surgery, I found a solution through a grandma’s remedy. For six months, every morning, I took banana stem juice. When I went for a check-up, I found that the stones had vanished.  It is another matter that the mixer-grinder, which was used to make the juice daily, broke down under the stress of churning out the juice every day!

 During the peak of my career, in my late twenties and early thirties, I used to suffer from frequent attacks of mouth ulcers–sores on the tip of my tongue—making it very difficult to talk or eat anything. Each time, the allopathic doctor would give me a B12 injection and put me on a course of Riboflavin. That would give me only temporary relief. I was cured of this problem by another grandma’s remedy. As soon as I get the first signs of a possible attack, I would buy a bundle of ‘Manathakali Keerai’- a variety of spinach- make juice from the leaves in a mixer and take it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. The very second day, I would get some relief. I have recommended this treatment to several friends with positive results. Recently, a long-standing stomach condition I was suffering from has been controlled through Ayurveda.

 Every time doctors recommended an urgent surgery for my other problems I have refused to go under the scalpel and found a remedy in alternative therapies. While my fissure problem was cured by Ayurvedha, I had to undergo  prostate surgery recently when it became impossible to postpone the decision. I believe in the theory–use Allopathy for diagnosis and emergency, but try alternative therapies for chronic problems. It has always worked for me.

Even if Allopathy, Homeopathy, and Naturopathy fail, I can always count on Venkatachalapathy and now Shirdi Saibaba, who entered my life four years ago. Miracles can and do happen in everyone`s lives. Om Sairam!

 

`WE CARE` service

 In any Senior Citizen home, there are good Samaritans who are ever willing to help anyone who needs help. I want to share my recent experience in the Home where I live now.

I have been suffering pain in the Hip/Thigh joints during my morning walks for the last several years. I manage by taking short rest breaks and walking for 30 minutes. Since my return from Chennai more than a month ago, I find that this pain keeps recurring even during the daytime at home. I decided to consult a good orthopedic surgeon to ensure that I was not suffering from any silent bone injury during my recent accident in Chennai.  My good friend Bala in the community fixed the appointment with a well-known Orthopedist, who has a clinic located close by. Since my daughter, based in Coimbatore, was out of station, I accepted Bala`s offer to accompany me to the Clinic. He stayed with me for more than two hours until the examination was over and the doctor informed me of his diagnosis and suggested treatment. I was happy to hear that my bones were intact and that I was only suffering from stiff muscles, common among senior citizens. Since we were late for the scheduled lunch hours at the dining hall, Bala took me to his apartment in the complex, and his wife served me a delicious home-cooked meal. It was a wonderful gesture by Bala and his wife. I also found that Bala extends such help to a few other Super seniors in the community.

In the case of residents whose mobility is restricted and those who need assistance to get jobs done outside the campus or who are feeling lonely and don't have any near and dear ones in Coimbatore, there is a `WE CARE`- an informal group of volunteers in Phase 4 of Nana Nani.. It consists of able-bodied residents who offer their services to those who require some help. The resident has to post his or her problem in the WA family group of Phase 4, Someone in the group responds immediately and helps in solving the problem. In cases of emergencies where a resident has to be admitted to a hospital, such volunteers, if necessary, also act as caregivers until a family member comes and takes charge. Though this informal support system is not very active now,  able-bodied senior citizens like Bala continue to offer help as a service to needy seniors in the community.

 

In addition to the reliable medical facilities available on the campus, this kind of help from volunteers boosts the confidence level of those residents who are staying alone, like me, or old couples with mobility problems in the community. This is one more reason why senior citizens with children living abroad or in other cities in India could consider living in such homes, because there is better security and possibilities of getting an immediate response to problems faced by them. This could also be one of the reasons why there are many residents with their children staying in Coimbatore, living in the community.

 

 

Importance of feedback for creative people

 I was walking towards the neighbourhood shop. As I was passing by the Mahalakshmi temple near the entrance gate in our community,  a young lady stopped me and asked me,” Are you Mr.Rajan, the writer of articles I read in the N & N WA groups?”. When I confirmed that her guess was right, she told me that her parents, who are no more, used to live in Phase 4 and that she was visiting to meet some people. Since she continues to be on the contact list of N & N groups as the owner of the apartment where her parents lived, she sees all communication sent through  WA.  She told me she thoroughly enjoyed reading my stories and recognized me from a photograph she saw in one of my postings. My day was made!"

I used to have similar experiences during my morning walks at Elliots Beach Road in Chennai, when my fortnightly column, `Rajan`s Random Reflections,` was published for five years in Adyar Times before the pandemic.

This is not to boast of my greatness as a writer. But to emphasize the point that for any creative person, feedback is very crucial. It motivates them to continue their creative journey. Whether he /she is a writer, singer, dancer, or in any other creative activity, getting an unsolicited positive response in any form makes the person happy. Unlike in the past, social media allows people to share their creative efforts instantly with large groups and the response is also instantaneous.

I started my writing career only after retirement. The success of my autobiography `Courage My Companion` published in 2009 and encouraged by my mentor, Mr. S. Muthiah of Madras Musings fame,  I started writing on a variety of topics. Posted them on my blog, which my daughter created for me,  shared them with my friends on Facebook and WhatsApp, and mailed them to selected contacts through email. While I write on a variety of topics, I also enjoy writing interview-based human interest stories of inspiring personalities. Many of my articles have been published by both local and national media.

After posting them, I eagerly wait for responses from my readers like any writer does. More than the `likes` or `emojis` I get, which are important, it is the comments that I value most. Some readers respond to every post I send. Though many read they don`t respond every time. I get thrilled when once in a while I see a response from a friend who normally does not respond. Some beg to differ with my views or have some more input on the topic of my posting. As a person who has been in the creative business- 45 years in the advertising business and as a writer /author for the last 16 years, I can take both bouquets and brickbats. Though criticism hurts, I believe in using it to improve my writing.  It is important for creative people to accept constructive criticism. 

So friends, it will be great to see your responses to my articles once in a while, which will keep me going as a writer.

 

Using ventilators - a doctor`s advice

 I came across a very interesting post on the practical aspects of using ventilator support. The article is by Dr.J Bhaskaran, my good friend, a well-known doctor in Chennai,  known for his pragmatic approach in treating his patients. His original posting in Tamil had a case study described in detail at the end of which the Doctor gives practical tips to the family members. I am reproducing below my understanding of the doctor`s message for the benefit of my readers

 

Ventilator support involves providing oxygen support to the Lungs making it function artificially. This enables the oxygen to be sent to all parts of the body through blood circulation. It is a form of life-saving device. For those diseases where normal breathing is likely to return, it is important to administer this procedure for such patients. Because the ventilators are performing the role of the lungs, the patient will continue to breathe and will become alright in due course. The ventilator support can be withdrawn in a few weeks in such cases. It is called the `Acute crisis`. This must be done in cases involving patients who still have an active life ahead.

 

However, in the case of super seniors who are past  80 and whose active life is behind them, it is important for doctors to advise the family of such patients about the pros and cons of the use of ventilators before deciding to administer the procedure.

 

There is another procedure called  `tracheostomy`. It is a surgical procedure creating an opening (stoma) in the trachea (windpipe) in the neck to allow for breathing through a tube. This procedure is often necessary when someone cannot breathe normally, usually due to a blockage or other airway issue. Even for this procedure, permission must be sought from the family by the doctors. Since the family wants to keep their dear one alive, they leave it to the doctor to decide. Invariably resulting in the prolonged stay of the patient in the ICU, with mounting hospital bills, adding tremendous stress to the caring family members without any idea about when the ordeal would end.

In cases where a senior citizen has a stroke resulting in oozing of blood in the brain, or any other terminally ill situations, and chances of such patients recovering to lead a normal life is very remote it is advisable to provide `Conservative management` instead of making the patient suffer the ordeal of ventilator support. It would be better for the family to take the patient home and treat them with prescribed medicines with full-time attendants, if necessary. The family should not hesitate to make this decision to allow their dear ones to exit from this world peacefully.

 

To enable the family to decide without feeling guilty, all senior citizens should prepare a living will, which allows the family  to make the right decision when it becomes necessary. As I have done. I have registered a living will, notarized by a notary public, in which I have made it clear to my children that they should not agree to put me under a ventilator or any other life support system. I have also indicated that they should not agree to an open heart surgery or even dialysis. If my time has come, they should allow me to exit this world with dignity.

 

It is time that seniors and their families understand the importance of a living will.

 

The pleasure of having grandchildren

 Grandparenthood is the greatest promotion one can get in life. There cannot be a bigger gift than getting a grandson or a granddaughter. I had the privilege of becoming a grandfather at 54 when my grandson Arul was born. I remember the day vividly. I was busy in the office in discussion with my Secretary, when I got a call informing me of the arrival of a baby boy - my first grandchild through my eldest daughter Kavitha & RU. I jumped with joy shouting `I have become a Thatha!` Arul arrived in this world seven weeks before my silver wedding anniversary. I had a grand function planned at the Savera Hotel. The invitation went in the name of Arul which carried a line at the end `No gifts please. My grandparents say I am the best gift they got for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.`

Since that day 29 years ago I have been blessed with five more grandchildren. Three grandsons and three granddaughters. Arul ( 29), Uthara(24), Nila(23), Keshav(22), and the two late arrivals – my resident grandchildren - 7 years old Thavam and 4 years old baby doll Bakthi. The lovely kids of my son are keeping me entertained and spreading joy around whenever I visit Chennai from Coimbatore.  However, I must confess that at 82,  I don't have the energy that I had 23 years ago to indulge them physically.

I am also no good at telling stories to my grandchildren as I find my memory has become rusty that I don`t remember all the details of our mythological classics like Ramayana or Mahabharata. When I attempt to narrate some stories from one of these epics, my grandson Thavam interrupts and says “You are wrong thatha… this is what happened…” and he goes on to complete the correct story which he has heard from his maternal grandmother, making me feel embarrassed. Some days I attempt to take the easy way out by reading stories from books. I find even that effort difficult as I feel exhausted by the time I read a story for 10 to 15 minutes. These days I have found another method to keep them engaged, We have a family group called `T & B` group in which I keep forwarding videos that will appeal to the kids. Whenever I am in Chennai and have time to spend time with the kids I show the videos to the kids. They keep watching them until they get bored and run away.

It was always good fun when all my children and grandchildren used to visit my home for a family get-together. But these days with the senior grandchildren away from their homes, pursuing careers of their choice it has become difficult to have such get-togethers. The last time we had such a get-together was on my 80^th Birthday. Even at that function one grandson was missing.

I am proud to say that the four senior grandkids, all talented in fields of their choice,  have grown into mature kids with their heads on their shoulders- I am sure the latest arrivals also will follow suit judging by the way my son Balaji and daughter in law Tulse are bringing them up. Please join me in blessing all my grandchildren with a bright future.

 

Yoga flash cards- an interesting gift idea!

I recently received a set of `Yoga flash cards` packed in a well-designed handy-size carton which can be used at home and is extremely convenient to carry around.  Perfect for travel. These thoughtfully designed cards, featuring 20 yoga poses in each pack,  offer guidance and motivation for practicing yoga, great for all levels. The front of each card guides you in practicing one asana and on the rear of the card you get the benefits of that particular asana and some more information on how to get enhanced benefits with that asana. The set also includes a fun interactive game.

Designed by my niece, Shwetha Srinivasan, a certified yoga instructor who has collaborated with Meghna Vaidynathan, a professional graphic designer to create these beautifully designed cards.

Shwetha says, “I started my yoga journey more than 10 years ago when I  first moved to Banglore after marriage. I joined a class nearby and loved practicing yoga and the positive impact it had on me. The same yoga studio later announced its teacher training program, and I jumped at the opportunity. When I completed the program, the studio offered me a position to teach. That's how my journey as a yoga instructor began”

Shwetha met Meghana more than 8 years back. She was a graphic designer working for a company in Chennai and Shwetha was a part-time yoga instructor at a studio in Chennai. When Shwetha came up with the idea for the flashcards, Meghna readily agreed.  The flashcards are a result of their combined efforts in the last year.

The cards make a unique and thoughtful gift. Gift your loved ones a pack today!  They are also great as return gifts for birthdays, baby showers, and more.

Priced at just 450/-  they are available with Shwetha: 9840318385

A traumatic experience

 After an embarrassing experience I had a few days ago, I would like to share with you a traumatic experience I had recently. Since I was planning to drive to Coimbatore in my car driven by a call driver on 11^th March, to save time I decided to go to the petrol bunk to fill the tank the  evening before. The attender noticed that the left rear wheel tire was low on air. As I had checked the tire pressures only two days earlier, I decided to go to the nearby puncture mechanic to find out If there was any problem with that tire.

 I parked the car opposite the shop, got out, and after ensuring that there was no vehicle in sight, started crossing the narrow road towards the shop. Out of nowhere, a cycle driven by a teenager came at breakneck speed knocking me down, with the cycle falling on me and the boy thrown out a couple of feet away. I was shocked beyond words. I was invoking the names of my favourite gods and trying to understand what was happening to me. A crowd gathered, the traffic stopped, and the boy was admonished for rash driving. Some good Samaritans helped me get up and stand on my wobbling feet. Another guy picked up my spectacles and mobile found on the road. Someone got me a glass of water and another asked me to check if I felt ok with my hands and legs. I was slowly escorted to the shop where I was made to sit on a chair in the shop. After ensuring that I was alright the crowd melted away and the traffic resumed.

Since I was dazed and in no condition to drive my car home, I called my son-in-law whose house was nearby, and sought his help. He arrived soon and took charge of the situation. He decided to not only check the defective tire but also the Stepney tire, since I was  going on a long trip the next day.  The mechanic found one puncture in the tire fitted on the vehicle and three punctures in the Stepney tire. After doing the necessary repairs and paying the mechanic for his timely service, my son-in-law drove me back to my home.

Despite the nasty accident, thanks to the Divine Grace, I had no collateral damage, not even a scratch on my body. Even my worry about having some hairline fracture was dispelled the next morning when I got up and found that there were no swellings anywhere. I decided to take the trip accompanied by my younger daughter in my car driven by the call driver.

As I always do, I started thinking about the positive side of this incident. But for my son-in-law`s help in ensuring that all the problems with tires were addressed, I could have faced serious problems on the road with a defective stepney, in case one of the other tires developed problems. Everything happens for the good as my old friend told me after a nasty accident we had in Bombay 60 years ago. Om Sairam!

An embarrassing experience

 This happened a couple of days ago. Whenever I am in Chennai, if I am having lunch at home, I send the following message on  WhatsApp to my daughter-in-law who lives on the first floor of my independent home-   `Please give me whatever you are having for lunch`. As soon as I sent the message, she came to see me to tell me what she had done.  I thought she was responding to my message. I was happy and went to have my usual pre-lunch siesta, putting my mobile on silent mode. When I woke up and switched on my mobile, I was surprised to see several missed calls from a friend`s wife. When I called her, she screamed at me ``Where are you? We have been trying to reach you for the last 30 minutes without luck. Hope you are ok? As per your message, I have only cooked a simple meal and eagerly waiting for you to join us for lunch

I retorted, `I never sent you any message. My daughter-in-law has already kept my lunch on my dining table. Besides I am tired, I am in no mood to go out.`

She promptly forwarded the message I sent her. Immediately I realized that the same message was what I had sent my daughter-in-law. When I checked my daughter-in-law`s WA page , I found my message missing and found it on my friend`s WA page. I had inadvertently sent the message to my friend instead of my daughter-in-law. I immediately called my friend, profusely apologized for the big goof up, and promised to reach their home in the next ten minutes to have lunch with them. I decided to have the lunch given by my daughter-in-law for dinner and rushed to my friend`s place, a five-minute drive from my place.

When I reached their home, they told me how they were worried that something serious had happened to me and were planning to visit me to physically find out if I needed any help.  I cringed and felt like going under the table. I once again apologized. I had a hearty meal and spent some pleasant time with the couple.

All's well that ends well.

PS: Always double-check the mobile to ensure that your messages are reaching the right person. Imagine some very personal information meant for a near and dear one reaching the wrong person! It will also help to make a correction if the prompter in the mobile used a wrong word instead of what you intended to.

 

 

Wasting food is criminal

In Hindu mythology, Anna Lakshmi, one of the eight (Ashta) Laxmis,  is often depicted as the "Goddess Lakshmi of Food/Grains" symbolizing the provider of nourishment and prosperity. I remember my mother invoking the name of Anna Laxmi whenever, as little kids, we refused to eat or waste food.  Growing up in a lower middle class family in the chawls of Bombay there was always a shortage of food at home. Very often, after providing for her husband- a foodie and her four kids, my mother would be left with insufficient food.  So children wasting food was unacceptable. This message has been ingrained in me so much that I feel very bad when I see anyone wasting food. My mother would also insist on concentrating our attention on what we eat lest we displease Anna Laxmi. She would certainly not approve of the habit of many these days, who keep browsing messages on WhatsApp while having their food. Why am I talking about this now?

 

In Nana Nani, at the dining hall, I see many residents wasting food served on their plates (banana leaf). Not only do they not clear what is served in the first round but also insist on getting additional servings that they don`t touch, leaving behind food that could satisfy the needs of a poor, hungry person.

 

I have a cousin who after a hearty meal at any function would ensure that the banana leaf from which he had his meal is squeaky clean, leaving no trace of any items he has consumed. Though I don`t do this I ensure that only the right quantity that  I can consume is served on my plate. If it is an item that I don`t like, I would not allow it to be served to me. In many marriages or other functions where the number of items served is beyond the capacity of any ordinary human being, I am extra careful. The amount of food wasted on such occasions is mind-boggling. I prefer partaking in food from the buffet counter at a function, if that option is available because I can choose the items I like and take just the quantity that  I can consume.

 

I remember a well-known educationist who served only a tasty biryani with a side dish and a dessert for dinner at the wedding reception of his daughter.

 

Can something be done about the wastage of food? A community in North India bans members of that community from serving more than a certain number of items at weddings and other festive occasions. Those who break the rules are punished. I am told that in Germany, guests who order more than what they need in restaurants and waste food are penalized. More than any law, what will work is self-discipline.

 

I believe wasting food at home or on social occasions is criminal!

.

 

.

Pros and Cons of my stay at Nana Nani

Ten months have flown by and it is time for me to renew the 11 months  Lease  Agreement with the owner of the apartment where I am staying now at Nana Nani- Phase 4, in  Coimbatore.

Though I have been sharing my experiences in Nana Nani from time to time, I would  like to sum up the observations- both positive and negative before I tell you about my decision

On the positive side

The weather in Coimbatore is very pleasant for ten months in a year, unlike Chennai, where it is hot and humid for ten months. Having lived close to the Sea ( Elliots Beach) in Chennai for 50 years, I am now able to have a lovely view of the Marudha Malai, part of the Western Ghats, every morning from the balcony attached to my bedroom. I love mountains more than the seas!

The infrastructure at Nana Nani is top class with all the facilities that senior citizens need available inside the campus. The ambience is beautiful and the entire property is maintained well giving you the feeling of living in a Resort. I am able to lead a very active life without going out, except for attending specific functions, visiting temples or for specialist medical consultations.

Phase 4 where I am staying is a vibrant community. Residents are friendly and helpful. With a good mixture of seniors and super seniors, the atmosphere is generally cheerful.  I have made some good friends here who ensure that I never feel lonely. It is like a big, happy family here.

I find more time to write and my articles are well appreciated by the residents here. The icing on the cake- I was conferred the `Inspiring Writer Award` at the Awards Nite held on 2^nd January as a part of the New Year Celebrations held here. As I was away in Chennai I was not there to collect the Award.

As for entertainment, there is enough to keep you engaged every other evening. The management arranges to show a Tamil,  Malayalam or  Hindi film every Saturday evening at the air-conditioned theatre located in the Club House. I have seen 30  films in 11 months as opposed to an average of two films in a year in Chennai. Many talented residents provide entertainment in the form of music and dance programmes, and plays besides other activities like quizzes, tombola, spiritual lectures, etc.  At least 10 to 12 programmes are conducted by the residents every month, many of them very professionally done.  Nanogenarian, Hariharan (94), popularly known as Hari Om Mama,  organizes music and dance festivals and spiritual sessions from time to time- all at his own cost.  An inspirational person much admired by everyone here. He is one of my role models!

The big Mahalaxmi temple, located adjacent to the entrance gate is a popular venue for many religious and spiritual activities. Though  I am not spiritually inclined I like the uplifting feeling I  get whenever  I visit the temple and occasionally meditate there.

The emergency medical service here works fairly efficiently. I am satisfied with the instant response I got on a couple of occasions when I needed help. I am also satisfied with the maintenance service. Just a telephone call and your problem is attended to.

On the negative side:

Though I enjoy my morning walks here, there are no post-walk group meetings like in Chennai. That happens only before or after each meal session outside the dining hall. I  miss the fun time I used to have with friends after my morning walks at Bessy in Chennai which would charge my battery for the day!

The escalating costs are a major issue here. Especially the Rs 400/-per day for all meals that the management charges are higher than any other Senior Citizen Homes in Coimbatore. Unlike the `pay for what you eat` system in other Homes, the condition that you have to pay for all meals even if you have a cup of coffee but do not want to partake in other meals,  is unfair.  However, the management allows you to opt out of taking your meals in the dining hall every day by giving advance notice about your meal breaks.  Whether  you take the meals or not, every resident has to pay a small fixed kitchen fee every month.

While most of the dishes served during meals are tasty, the choice of menu, unimaginative combination of items, and monotony of eating the same type of food, have begun to make me feel tired of the meals served here.  Many residents cook their meals or get food from outside caterers. For the last two months, I have also started using this facility when I find the menu not interesting, as we get the menu two days in advance. I cook items that I like, which are not part of the menu here. I find cooking therapeutic!

Having seen and experienced a few other Senior Citizen facilities in Coimbatore and Chennai, I can say with confidence that Nana Nani has by far one of the best infrastructure and services suited for senior citizens in Coimbatore.

Since the positive side far outweighs the negative side I have decided to continue my stay in Nana Nani, Phase 4.  Besides, I keep visiting Chennai often. Two months of a relaxed, carefree life in Coimbatore and two weeks of hectic activity in Chennai;  meeting old friends, attending important functions, and spending some time with my little grandchildren. Having the best of both worlds!  What more can I want in life?

I  pray to god to bestow good health on me so that I continue to enjoy this life.

PS: After some anxious moments regarding the extension of the lease agreement, I am happy to say that the owner of the apartment where I stay has agreed to extend the lease for two years – 11 months at a time. Om Sairam!