The Culture of Hugging

What comes to your mind when you see the word `hugging`? For many spiritually minded people, it will be Mata Amritanandamayi Devi aka Amma also known as `Hugging Saint`. She is known to hug every one of her devotees to convey her blessings.  The other name that comes to my mind is our own people`s Prime Minister NAMO employing `hugging diplomacy` to instantly connect with god knows how many political leaders from across the world that he has met in the last nine years. Thank god he doesn`t indulge in the `cheek to cheek` diplomacy followed by political leaders in many parts of the Western and Middle East countries. That is not in our culture. Though I have never seen him hug any female leaders, he makes it up by vigorous shaking of hands. Suffice to make them feel important.

Hugging has been a big issue in my family. My mother was clear that even a father cannot hug his own daughters when they come of age. The same thing applied to siblings and even grandchildren.  You also cannot hug your own wife in public. With the result that there is no hugging culture in the family. I cannot recall any instance where my father or mother hugged me to show their affection after I became an adult. I have followed their advice blindly much to the disappointment of my children. This sensitivity to hugging has led to a lot of embarrassing moments in my life.

A long time ago I was waiting for my colleagues from Bombay- a pretty lady and a gentleman- in front of a star hotel in Chennai. They were on an official visit. While the gentleman shook my hand vigorously, the lady hugged me; she also did cheek-to-cheek greetings! I was so self-conscious that I cringed- looking around to see if anyone was watching my encounter with the lady. It was an embarrassing moment for me. Over the years I have had similar experiences with me feeling more embarrassed than  thankful for the genuine affection expressed by the ladies.  These days I have learned to extend my friendly hand to such ladies even before they hug me or give me a C to C  greeting. 

Times have changed. Neither my wife nor I imposed any restrictions on our children. They are welcome to express their affection to anyone they want using the age-old custom followed by many communities. Hugging is also a good way to express one`s love for aging people who are forever longing for the expression of love from their near and dear ones. Though I have not changed my attitude towards hugging, I do miss the occasional hugging in private by my late wife. These days I make up the void by demanding a mandatory `hug & kiss` from the two little angels in my home; my resident grandchildren;  5 years old Thavam & two years old Bakthi. It is a wonderful privilege that I am enjoying as an Octogenarian! God Bless them. 

I am Adyar. Adyar is me

 A few weeks ago a team from Federal Bank accompanied by executives from Ogilvy Advertising landed in my home. As a long-time resident of Adyar (49 years), they wanted me to share my experiences with Adyar. What it meant to me and highlights of my long association with Adyar. I was told that this was being done as a part of  `I am Adyar. Adyar is Me` campaign that celebrates people and their culture in Adyar. For the launch of campaign the Adyar branch of the Bank had been converted into an exhibition venue featuring portraits (caricatures) of over 40 long-time residents of Adyar along with an extract in text form converted from a  video recording they had done of everyone. The text shown alongside my photo titled ` Walking is my medicine` highlighted my tryst with  Elliots Beach and the quality time I spend every morning at the beach road walking and spending fun times with friends which charges my body battery for the whole day. At the inaugural function, I was presented with a copy of the nicely framed portrait and a box containing delicious sweets and snacks. The fortnight-long exhibition was being promoted heavily through mobile banners and other publicity efforts through various media.   While it seemed like a good PR effort on the part of the Bank,  I would like to know how this would help improve the bank's client base. I am, however, thankful for the nice portrait of me that the Bank presented me.

 

 

A memorable musical evening!

In the last few years, I have been following the policy of making at least one person happy daily. Yesterday I made a group of my walking friends very happy at a musical evening I had organized, where members in the group with a talent for singing performed delighting the audience consisting of nearly 40 senior citizens. While a few songs were based on carnatic genre , most of the participants belted out popular film songs in Tamil and Hindi in some of which members of the audience also participated. My sambandhi ( son`s father In law) was the last to show his talent for playing the harmonica, which he learned to play three years ago when he was 65, during the lockdown period. Many others had also honed their talent for singing during the pandemic. It was clear that everyone was having a good time and there was good bonding among members- one of the purposes of the get-together. The 90 minutes show concluded with a sumptuous and delicious High Tea consisting of a sweet ( jangri) , veg. samosa and a cutlet.

The idea for such a get-together came to me when I witnessed a new and comparatively young member of the walking group displaying his talent for singing one morning at our usual meeting place at the Elliots beach. I decided to rope in other talented members in the group and have a show where they could display their hidden talents. I must say that the idea clicked judging by the demand for more such shows at regular intervals from the audience. It was agreed that in future we can think of other forms of entertainment like a humour show, a Karaoke night or even small skits to be performed by members with talents for acting. The enthusiasm generated by the show was palpable.

I must thank my good friend Vishwakumar, the owner of the flat converted into an air-conditioned meeting hall, who offered the venue with a seating capacity of 50 people free! He informed the audience that he has been offering the facility free as a social service to selected people who want to conduct music/dance classes, religious discourses, or even friendly family get-togethers subject to certain conditions.

True to my style of organizing any show, the meeting started on time and ended on time. I must thank all the friends who turned up on time and also the performing group who came prepared with the songs they had selected for the evening.

A memorable evening spent in the company of good friends.