In pursuit of a dream!

One more bird in the family flies away. Uthara,  my second grand child and the daughter of my second daughter  Sowmya and Srinivasan flew to Munich in  Germany  yesterday. Uthara has finished her BSc /BEd Life Sciences ( dual degree) from Azim Premji University in Bangalore and will be joining the LMU in Munich  to do her Masters in Ecology, Evolution and Systematics. I don`t understand what this means  but  I learn that LMU is one of the oldest & prestigious Universities in Europe.

While her mother has made a name as an accomplished oral story teller, Uthara is well known for her golden voice. Trained in Carnatic music from the age of 6 she is an accomplished  singer who had her arangetram performed  in Bangalore five years ago. The last time I heard her was at my star 80^th  birthday celebration in Chennai on 17^th August . I got interested in Carnatic music only because of Uthara. My dream is to see her perform at Music Academy one day. Please join me in wishing Uthara all the best in her new interest and pray that my dream for her also becomes a reality!

Breakfast and Blessings

The `Elite` group of walking friends were invited yesterday for a Breakfast meet  at the beautiful   home of K.T.Venkatesan Raja, the elder of the two brothers who manage the empire of the Adyar Anand Bhavan group. We were not only served a delicious breakfast but were also showered with the trademark hospitality of the family. Venkatesan  Raja himself is humble and humility personified. We meet him regularly in the mornings at Adyar Saravana Bakery at Bessy, where my group meets for the custom made degree coffee served  by Velu, where Raja  comes with his group of walking friends. He had celebrated his birthday recently and wanted the blessings of some Octogenarians and one Nonagenarian in  our group.  90 years old T.H.Iyer popularly known as German Iyer had the privilege of honouring Venkatesan Raja and his wife with a `Ponnadai` ( Shawl) and bless  the couple inside the well appointed Puja  room . I was delighted to find that, like me, VenkatesanRaja also believes in Divine grace and elders blessings ( Kadavul Anugraham  and Periava Ashirvadam) which he obviously  has in abundance. As we were leaving after spending a pleasant morning  with Raja, every member got a gift parcel consisting of some  goodies from A2B. Pray god to give  Venkatesan Raja good health and long life  so that he continues to delight the millions of A2B  customers spread across the world.

A silver jubilee to remember

When I received the invitation for the Silver Jubliee celebration of the Ladies Special magazine I was a little worried looking at the long programme. I need not have because Girija Raghavan the founder and dynamic editor of the magazine, considered as the `one woman army` by people who know her, had ensured that there was not even single boring moment. With help of  an army of volunteers consisting of her supporters and well wishers  the mega celebration was conducted  in grand style befitting the occasion. Graced by some big names in the creative world as guests of honour, like Sivasankari the eminent writer, Sangeetha Kalanidhi Sudha Ragunathan who was featured in the cover of the first issue of the magazine 25 years ago, Narthaki Nataraj,  Bharatha natyam exponent ( a Padma Shri Awardee)  and JB brothers- Dr.J.Bhaskaran  the rising star in the world of Tamil literature and his elder brother Kalaimamani  J.Balasubramanian,  the well known philanthropist.

Girija couldn`t have got a better chief guest than Dr. Tamilisai Soundararajan,   Governor of Telengana and Lt.Governor of Puducherry.  She stole the show with her brilliant speech laced with humour emphasizing the growing importance of women in society who still have to struggle very hard fighting the inimical forces working against them. Earlier a  collection of short stories of Girija Raghavaan titled `Rowdhiram Pazhagu`  was released by the chief guest and received by all the guests of honour, all articulate speakers,  who  felicitated Girija for her stupendous achievements.

The Villu Pattu programme preceding the main event presented by Mrs Bharati Thirumahan, the daughter of the legendary Villuppattu artist `Subbu Arumugam` proved that the she is truly a chip of the old block. It was a good idea to present the story of `Vizha Nayagi` ( heroine) Girija Raghavan through the Villuppattu. I enjoyed the programme.

During the course of the entertainment  programme the winners of the Shree Sakthi and Yuva Sakthi  awards, present in the audience were given special mementoes  by Girija Raghavan. The  month long online programme was conducted in March 2020 and 2021 by  Ladies Special magazine  in association with Rotary and  Inner Wheel.

I congratulate Girija for masterminding an excellent programme and her Team for  delivering the same with clock work precision. Pray god to bestow good health on her so that she continues to delight the legion of her fans, friends and well wishers.

A home away from home-Life without Responsibilities

My first exposure to an old age home was 17 years ago when my mother in law was admitted to a modest home run by a distant relative located in a busy residential colony in the suburbs of Chennai. It was close  to a popular temple and other facilities required by senior citizens and provided home cooked meals. My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last years of her life in senior citizen homes as per a decision taken by her son living in USA. While I was not happy seeing her staying in a Home, she seemed to be quite happy, judging by what she told people visiting her.

 

Has anything changed with Senior Citizen Homes ( SCHs) over the years. Certainly my opinion about SCHs has changed. Because the modern day Homes located in  gated communities have all basic facilities that senior citizens need and much more for those who can afford the price.

 

During my recent visit to Coimbatore I visited a few friends staying in popular Senior Citizens Homes to get a feedback on their experiences in the gated communities where they were staying.

 

 The first was a retired bureaucrat, aged 93 years,  who was a public sector honcho in his time and a recipient of  Padma Shri from the government. He was staying alone in a Villa set among picturesque surroundings.

 

His response in his own words,” I am very happy here. Whenever I go to stay with my daughter in Chennai, I find that I miss the company of friends I have made in this facility. Besides this place is beautiful, the service is excellent and the weather also is pleasant for 10 months in a year. I am happy with the food they serve and enjoy the regular interactions I have with other residents during my morning walks and in the evenings. In case of medical emergencies the management is ready  with help. I don`t feel lonely at all here”

 

The next visit was to another facility, which has both villas and flats. I met the wife of a friend, in her early seventies, who had moved into a villa just six months ago. A woman full of energy and cheer, she was living alone in her own  independent home for over a decade after her husband passed away. Both her children live abroad. After surviving a cancer attack she found it difficult to manage the independent home by herself and hence  decided to shift to the villa.

 

The enthusiasm with which she received me and showed me around her new abode reflected her happiness. “You know within a few days of moving here I became friendly with my neighbors - an old couple in their late eighties. They have adopted me as their own daughter and I enjoy offering them any help they need. Besides my relations and friends keep visiting me regularly. I am thoroughly enjoying my stay here`

 

Following day I met two sisters, both spinsters in their seventies ,who were living in an independent house before moving into a flat  in one of the phases of a complex for seniors. They had also moved into their flat just a few months earlier.  This facility has no villas and only flats in seven blocks of several flats with a central courtyard.

 

“We are so happy here that we don`t have to worry about the day to day problems we used to face running an independent home. It used to be physically exhausting. Besides we  feel more secure here” was their spontaneous response

 

They are also happy with the interesting activities that take place in the facility to keep the residents engaged and the regular weekly health check ups they get.

 

My two day stay at a villa in a brand new facility started just a few months ago, where I was a guest of a schoolmate of mine, was memorable. Though he owns a flat in New Delhi in the apartment complex where his daughter lives my friend chose this facility so that his wife could indulge herself in  her favorite hobby of  gardening without the responsibility of running a home. The stay, gave me an idea of what it feels to be a resident of a senior citizen facility. The experience was positive.

 

In my talks with several residents of Senior citizen Homes in many other cities over the years I have found some of them preferred to move into a Senior Citizen Home,  though their children were living in the same city, because  they did not want to burden their children looking after them on a day to day basis. With the joint family system breaking down and nuclear families being the norm these days, old people find themselves to be of nuisance value to their children. There are also cases of old people who don’t have the energy or mindset to look after their grand children with office going parents. Obviously the old values are changing where people, both young and old, are becoming more self centered.

 

Based on my talks with residents of such Homes and also my own brief stays in some of them, I would like to make the following observations for the benefit of those who are planning to move into SCHs.

 

Judging by  the good times that many of the residents  are having, I would say it is an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful lives and who are financially independent; to spend their twilight years in peace and contentment

 

It is no more a stigma on the children if their parents voluntarily choose to stay in senior citizen homes which provide them the necessary independence, comfort and the company of new friends with similar backgrounds.

 

Once they have decided to move to a Senior Citizen Home (SCH) they should visit  a few SCHs and try to stay in their guest houses  for a few days to get a feel of the place. They also must talk to some residents to find out what they think of the facilities on offer and their satisfaction level before they  make up their mind.

 

Many new SCHs offer five star facilities which  may not be used by every one  and such Homes  are very expensive. It is important to choose a facility which satisfies   one`s basic needs and  is available at a reasonable cost.

 

It might be a good idea to retain one`s  own home for some time and sell it only when one is  fully satisfied with the SCH. Most of the homes keep increasing their maintenance charges and meal charges from time to time because of escalating costs. Residents must be prepared to face this contingency.

 

Food becomes a major issue in the SCHs. One has  to be mentally prepared to adjust one`s  tastes to the menu on offer. Coimbatore, the most popular city for SCHs, where  most of them offer only vegetarian meals and that too the South Indian variety. Though North Indian dishes may be offered on some days, do not expect it to be of the same quality that one is  used to. One`s choice of food & the city where one  wants to settle down can also be  determining factors in selecting the Home 

 

Better to go for facilities offered by well known groups. They have the resources and commitment to run the facilities efficiently because their reputation is at stake. Homes started by individuals  or private parties are generally not reliable

 

If you have children living in other cities, go for a two-bedroom facility so that there is a place for them to stay whenever they visit you.

 

Senior Citizen Homes with attached hospices or with facilities for providing full time attenders are alternatives which can be considered by working couples who have old and infirm parents  who need constant help and attention.

 

If one wants to enjoy one`s  stay in SCHs it is important to be friendly  with other residents. Remember that more than one`s  own children it is the friends who make one`s  life interesting in  old age. Besides if one is  friendly with the able bodied residents in the facility, they  become one`s  support group and care givers in case of emergencies until the family members come and take over. I saw this in action in one of the facilities in Coimbatore during my short stay a couple of years ago.

 

I would to like conclude this article quoting  the words of a resident of a SCH,

”the two essential needs of every individual apart from roti, kapda and makhan  are freedom and friendship. Both these crucial requirements for healthy and happy living are assured in the life of  seniors in Senior Citizen Homes”

 

This article has been published In the Sepember`22 issue of Seniors Today, a monthly e-magazine published from Bombay.

Celebrating Onam with walking friends

I have had Onam Sadya meals served at the  family outings of my Rotary Club  celebrating the Onam festivals where all the family members participate.  Invariably  they were fun mornings with Kolam contest for ladies, games for children and  a Rotarian dressed as a Mahabali going around entertaining guests. It used to be sit down meals served on Banana leaves, where the items used to be served in the prescribed order.  I had the freedom  to accept or not accept an item being served on my plate to avoid wastage. I never like wasting food that is once served on my plate.

But the experience that I had with the Onam Sadhya that I attended today with some of my walking friends at Sangeetha Hotel in Adyar was different. It was a pre-set meal consisting of nearly 25 items served on a stainless steel plate. While the food was reasonably  good and the service was excellent, I found the very sight of the plate with so many items filled up my stomach. With great difficulty I could consume only half of what was already served in small cups. I glanced around and found that none of my  friends could eat every  thing that was served and there was quite a bit of wastage. I felt bad. But then this is what happens in many weddings which I attend.

On the positive side I did enjoy the company of my friends and the usual banter that goes with it. There was also retro music of old Tamil and Malayalam songs belted out by C.A.Raja of the Pranavam team. He happily obliged our team singing songs requested by some including mine- the song was `Kalangalil Aval Vasantham` by P.B.Sinivas, which is one of my all time favourites. The get together ended with enough photos taken inside the restaurant and the last one taken in front of the hotel with the floral kolam. On the whole it was an enjoyable morning. Wish all Malayalee friends a Happy Onam. God bless!

Lucky to have a brother like him

A number of invitees to my 12th book launch function held on 30th August, came with the apprehension that it would be a long winding ,boring function. To their total surprise it turned out to be a crisp function, starting on time and ending on time. Informative as well as entertaining. Brilliantly presented by the emcee for the evening , Seshadri- my youngest brother also known as Sesh among friends and Mohan among the family.

 

There is a difference between being an announcer in a meeting and an emcee. While an announcer makes routine announcements, an emcee is constantly connected with the audience with his impromptu comments delivered on the spot to ensure that there is no lag in the conduct of the meeting. Sesh ensured this very well. When I handed over the meticulously planned minute to minute programme to him I told him that I have done my job but the success of the programme depended entirely on how he delivered the programme to the audience. He more than lived up to my expectation. Thanks Mohan!.

 

As I mentioned in my talk at the meeting Seshadri has been like what Laxmana was to Lord Rama in the epic Ramayana. Fourteen years younger to me , he literally followed my foot steps in life. Starting with the same college ( R.A. Podar College of Com merce, Bombay) where both of us got our Commerce degrees, he joined the same ad agency Clarion as a management trainee where I had started my advertising career fourteen years earlier. Interestingly he occupied the same cabin and table that I occupied when I was in Clarion and handled the same set of clients that I handled. It was an amazing coincidence. Though he left Clarion to join Ulka advertising where as I had left clarion to join Grant Kenyan Eckhardt advertising, we connected again when he joined my agency Anugrah Marketing & Advertising ( became Anugrah Madison in 1988) as Director of Client Services, within two years of my starting my own agency,  much against the wishes of my father and his own hesitation as he was doing extremely well in Ulka Bombay. With divine grace and elders` blessings things turned out well for both of us . He became a pillar of strength to me taking care of all the professional aspects of running my agency while I could indulge in a parallel life with several professional and voluntary organizations. He was very popular with all clients known for his honesty, hard work and sincerity and developed an identity of his own. When I retired in 2007 at the age of 65 I had no hesitation in handing over the mantle of running the agency to him.. He had a successful six year stint as the MD of the agency before he also retired in 2013. He was also active in some of the professional and voluntary organizations that I was involved with.

 

Another interesting coincidence is that he has also written his autobiography titled `Living in a shadow`,after retirement, in which he has beautifully chronicled his life story in impeccable English ( I always get all my writings vetted by him because I think his English is better than mine) In the book he has extensively quoted the role I have played in his life as the elder brother but I feel that I was only doing my duty and played the role of a catalyst in his life. As the saying goes, ` I can only take the horse to the water but can`t make him drink`. His success was entirely his own- the result of his hard work.

Unlike me he is reserved in talking about himself and shares his autobiography with only those genuinely interested in reading it.. He is reticent about promoting the book, though I feel it is eminently readable and should reach more people to know how a person with a simple background evolved to create an identity for himself. Another uncommon autobiography of a common man.

 

My 12th book in 13 years released

At an event to coincide with my official 80^th birthday, my new book titled `Bright Stars in the Chennai sky` was released by the chief guest V.Sriram, the editor of Madras Musings. The book is a collection of my original articles on inspirational stories of Chennai-based personalities and institutions—all ‘Bright Stars in the Chennai Sky’, the edited versions of which had appeared in Madras Musings and other magazines. The book also contains condensed versions of the biographis of  nine inspiring personalities which appeared in Madras Musings. The book is dedicated to the memory of late Mr.S.Muthiah, a heritage champion and founder editor of madras Musings who discovered the writer in me and continued to mentor me in my evolution as a writer, post retirement.

 It was a packed audience ( estimated at 180) at the Tag Centre owned by my good friend R.T.Chari one of the bright stars featured in the book, who received the first copy from Sriram. He was followed by the other bright stars featured in the book who were present in the audience; Ravi Tamilvanan, C.S.Ananth, DR.J.Bhaskaran, Sheila Sriprakash, Kala Balasundaram, S.K.Swamy, Kizhambur Sankara Subramanian, Dr.S.(Babu) Krishnaswamy &  Nirmala Desikan wife of Late R.Desikan the well known Consumer activist whose story also appears in the book.

The meeting started with the invocation song on mother & motherhood, the lyrics for which was written by me and set to music and sung by Vidushi Shrithi Shankar Kumar. A welcome address on behalf of the family by Kavitha Srinivas, my elder daughter  was followed by the introduction of the book by S.R.Madhu, done in his inimitable style & official release of the book by Sriram.  The book release part of the function ended with a delightful & entertaining speech by Sriram recalling his long association with me.

 The birthday celebrations started with the presentation of a seven minute Video, a personal tribute to me by Rajeshwari Anand, a good friend and a long time associate of my agency Anugrah Madison. Next came Jawahar Nichani, the President of Rotary Club of Madras South, offering felicitation to me as a representative of the Round Tables, Rotary and 41 Clubs with which I have been closely associated. Before I gave my response, I presented cheques to my Rotary Club , Inner Wheel Club Madras South and Manimekalai Prasuram on behalf of the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation, a Trust which  I founded in memory of my late wife Prabha.

In my response I thanked the large number of friends and well wishers present in the audience, seeking the blessings of elders in the audience and  conveying  my best wishes and blessings to all others. I ended my brief talk dedicating the event to my late wife Prabha.

The meeting was followed by fellowship and dinner enjoyed by all. Every one appreciated the fact that meeting started  and ended on time. I heaved a sigh of relief   that my  80^th birthday celebrations which started last year when I entered my eighties, had come to a satisfactory conclusion. Now I can legitimately claim to be an Octogenarian!

Those who interested in seeing the seven minute video by Rajeshwari, please click on the following link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_nk9Ycrk_0

 

This is what S.R.Madhu the veteran freelance writer who introduced the book says about the book:

This book is a gem! It glows not merely because of that beautifully appropriate heading -- Bright Stars in the Chennai Sky. It highlights some of the worthiest achievers of society – many of whom are not front-page names because they are not in politics!  Rajan is a “people person” and the writing shows. These fact-packed, highly readable, anecdote-laden profiles are a pleasure to read and preserve.   

 

The 252 page book printed and published by Creative Workshop and priced at Rs 400/- is available on Amazon and with me (contact- rvrajan42@gmail.com). The entire proceeds from  the sale of the book will go towards the activities of Prabha Rajan Talent foundation)