Hinges of friendship never rust

As I have mentioned in my autobiography,  membership in Round Table India, a youth organization with similar objectives like Rotary opened up a whole new world to me when I was 26. I joined  Bombay West Round table no.6 in Bombay(1968-71), later shifted to Delhi Round table no.5 (71-74), and finally landed at Madras West Round Table no.10 in 1974. Truly an All-India Tabler. I took to the Round table like a duck to water. Over the next  16 years, I not only got actively involved with the activities of the Assn at the national level but also got the Distinguished Service Award from the association, one of the first two-floor tablers to win this coveted recognition, for my role in helping with the  Round Table House project, a dream project of Bob Chandran of CBE.

 As an active member of MWRT 10, I made some close friends whose friendship I continue to enjoy even today- thanks to 41 Club no 7, a club of predominantly ex-members of Table 10. One of the most active 41 clubs in India, the club ensures that the  `hinges of friendship we made during Round table days, never rust`- which is the basic objective of 41 Clubs of India an association of ex-tablers across India. We meet regularly every month. The meetings are hosted by members in public facilities or their homes. Club members contribute a small sum as their share of the expenditure.

It is a meet-and-greet fellowship opportunity and a fun evening where members spend time going down memory lane.  Over the years we have lost some important members to old age-related health issues. However, we continue to invite the spouses of such members as special invitees to our get-togethers.

The Feb.,23, dinner was hosted by a group of five special invitees ( Sangeeth Chopra, Gita Mehtras, Venu Kesu,  Hema Krishnan, and Usha Sudhir) at the spacious residence of Sangeeth Chopra, the charming spouse of the ever-popular (late)Inder Chopra ably supported by the son (Rahul) and daughter in law (Anu) of Venu Kesu. The evening had the touch of ladies in the way it was meticulously planned and executed.  Floral decorations with small `Diyas` in the center were placed on all the tables. A live band was singing retro film songs in Tamil & Hindi. A special bar counter with a variety of spirits was there to raise the spirits of members.

The meeting also witnessed  Rani Ananth spouse of C.S Ananth,  briefly describing her life story and Gopi sharing a recent medical emergency he faced. There were mandatory birthday & wedding anniversary greetings by President Ganesh Kini who also briefly outlined the recent activities conducted at the Area Meet. As a token of appreciation, the hosts were also presented with special gifts. Some members took over the mike from the band and belted out songs they knew. There was also some dancing by the ladies.

A well-known caterer was in attendance serving a variety of delicious starters – both veg. and nonveg. They were so delicious that most of the members made a meal of the starters that they could not do justice to the main dinner fare offered later, as it happens in many such dinners. I was so full of the starters that my stomach could accommodate only some `Thayir Sadam` and the desert!

The highlight of the evening was the participation of some children of the members who were also  41ers in some other clubs in the city. There was a  record attendance of over 40 thoroughly enjoying the well-organized dinner meet.  Thanks, Sangeeth and team for a memorable evening! Truly `Hinges of Friendship` among ex-tablers never rust!

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A friendship to cherish

I was happy to receive a special visitor at my home a few days ago. A friend and well-wisher for nearly forty years he was a pillar of strength to me in many of my projects connected with some voluntary bodies I was associated with. The reason for his visit was to wish me on my becoming an Octogenarian as he could not attend the official party I had hosted on my 80th Birthday. I was touched but not surprised. Because he always had a soft corner for me and attended all important events in my family. He not only extended a helping hand but was also actively involved in a few of the professional bodies I was associated with. I am referring to Mr. N. Murali, the Director of The HINDU group and President of the Music Academy.

My first interactions with him were as a Rotarian in the early eighties when as a Publicity Convenor of my Rotary club I would visit him seeking the support of the HINDU for the two-page supplements that were being brought out to celebrate some occasion or the other by the club or the Rotary District to which my club belonged. I got closer to him when I became active in the Advertising Club, Madras. He was a great supporter of The Ad club taking an active interest in many of the club's activities. When I was the President of the Advertising Club, Madras during 1993-95 he spontaneously offered Rs 2,00,00 from The Hindu for interior decoration of the permanent Secretariat at its own premises. Later when I took on the challenging responsibility as the Chairman of the Golden Jubilee Celebrations Committee he not only helped in many ways but also accepted the role of the Chairman of the second edition of the `Advertising`s Future Shock` Convention conducted by the club as a part of the Golden Jubilee celebrations. He also released the first copy of the Golden Jubilee Commemoration volume giving the history of the club which I had the privilege of compiling with the late Krishna.

Another connection that brought me even closer to Mr. Murali was my long stint with AMIC, an NGO devoted to mass communication in Asia Pacific Region headquartered in Singapore. First as a Country Representative and later as a member of the board of AMIC, Singapore. After I completed my six-year term, when I recommended Mr.

Murali`s name as my successor, it was accepted by the AMIC Board. Later to further boost the activities of AMIC India, we decided to form an AMIC India Trust, registered in Chennai with Dr. M.S. Swaminathan, the well-known agricultural scientist as the Chairman, and me as the Founder Secretary. Mr. Murali was roped in as one of the board members.

My long association with AMIC led to my involvement with IFRA, another non-profit organization based in Germany devoted to research in Newspaper development. I was instrumental in starting IFRA INDIA, as a private limited company with Mr.Murali and me as the founder directors. As Mr.Murali was already on the board of IFRA Germany, he managed to get the rights to hold an IFRA EXPO and INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE in India in 2007.

I consider IFRA Expo India in Chennai 2007 as the crowning glory of my 18-year association with IFRA. Every year when I visited IFRA Expo in Europe, I would dream that one day I would be actively involved in organizing a similar International Expo in India. Thanks to the favorable atmosphere offered by the booming Indian economy then and the consequent development of the Newspaper publishing industry, IFRA agreed to have IFRA Expo for the first time outside Europe in Chennai, in 2007, though on a modest scale.

With active support from the IFRA Expo team in Darmstadt in Germany and the dedicated efforts of the small IFRA India team consisting of Magdoom Mohamed and Antony and using a checklist I had drawn up over the years for organizing such events, we went about organizing IFRA Expo India with a missionary zeal. With over 100 exhibitors participating, nearly 3000 delegates visiting and over 600 delegates attending the parallel conference, IFRA Expo India held at the Chennai Trade Centre became a resounding success. The nearly 200 foreign exhibitors, speakers, and delegates went back awestruck at what IFRA India could achieve in terms of meticulous planning, quality of speakers, excellent time management, and the wonderful execution of the project to international standards. All this was possible with the active support of Mr.Murali and his team in The Hindu.

I always considered Mr.Murali a lucky mascot in my life. He has been a chief guest at many of the events that I had organized over the years. The most memorable was when as the chief guest at the two-in-one function organized by the Rural Marketing Association of India in 2009, attended by the who`s who of the advertising industry in Chennai, he not only presented the `RMAI Life Time Achievement Award` to me but also released the first copy of my autobiography `Courage My Companion`.

The last official function I attended was the 65th Anniversary celebration of the Advertising Club, Madras in October 2022 when the Club was honoring a few Past Presidents. I had the privilege of receiving a memento from N. Murali who was the chief guest at the event.

In response to my note thanking him for his visit to my home this was his reply, "I enjoyed my visit and your hospitality immensely. Those old happy memories ( that we shared) will always remain with us."

Yes, Mr.Murali, I will always cherish our friendship and the wonderful memories made possible by your unstinted support to many of my activities. Pray god to bestow good health on you so that you continue to inspire people associated with you to do their best.

Divine grace and Elders blessings

My parents taught me the value of divine grace and elders` blessings right from my childhood.  Every four years my father would take the family on a holiday to the South. Holidays meant not seeing new places but visiting relatives seeking their blessings & visiting temples in the towns which we visited. Using Chennai as the base we would visit all towns in Tamil Nadu where his extended families, especially relatives who were elders to him, lived. Both my parents would prostrate before such elders seeking their blessings. We would also be forced to do the same.  I religiously follow this advice to this day. However, at 80 with related health issues prevent me from prostrating before my elders. If I try it I find that  I need two people to lift me from the floor. Instead, I do the `PAI Lagey`` in true North Indian style.

My visit to see Prabha`s Chithi ( mother`s younger sister) in Pune with my daughter Sowmya was primarily to seek the blessings of this 92-year-old lady, who was staying in a Retirement Community with an assisted living facility. Her son who has a flat in Pune had decided to leave his mother in this facility when he and his wife were proceeding to Australia to visit their son`s family settled there. Even after he returned to Pune, he decided not to take his mother home. I found out the reason during my visit.

The old lady, always full of energy and enthusiasm was thoroughly enjoying her stay in the home. She told us “ I Have many friends here. All the staff members are very nice to me. In fact, every morning before they start work they visit me to seek my blessings because  I am the oldest person in this Home. Though they serve food at your bedside, I prefer to walk down to the canteen. I like the food here, though it is typically Maharashtrian fare”

 She was very excited when she told us about the grand celebrations held by the staff in her honor on her 92^nd birthday a few days earlier. She called the supervisor of the home to show us the pictures taken on the occasion. “You know they had decorated the hall with balloons and festoons. I even cut a birthday cake! They all sang the Happy Birthday song`. Oh! She was excited like a child!

When I asked her if her son visited her that day she responded without any remorse ”No he couldn`t come because he was not doing well. It is ok. I am sure he will visit me when he can”

When I asked her if she would like to go back to stay with her son. her face changed. “I am very happy here. At my son`s home, I feel lonely. My Son and daughter-in-law are so busy, I have nobody to talk to. I sit watching the TV the whole day or read some books. Here I have made so many friends”

I was reminded of a  similar statement made by my late mother-in-law almost 20 years ago when she was staying in an old age home and I would bring her home to give her a break, or so I thought.

Chithi pointed out some bedridden inmates and stated innocently- ”You know I am not even getting a fever.  Though I have a nurse  attending on me I do all my chores myself”

After handing over the several gifts which we had brought with us and after taking the mandatory selfies and photos we left the Home feeling happy that the old lady was having a good time at the Home. However, the way she was looking shrunk and emaciated  I  am not sure If I will see her again.

While leaving I sent a message to her son congratulating him on his wise decision to put up his old mother in the retirement community.  

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