A low-key Birthday!

 Normally, if I were in Chennai, I would have organised a spirited birthday party in the evening in which all my family members and a few close friends would have participated. It was different this year. A low-key birthday celebration on my turning 83 and entering the 84^th milestone. Made special by the participation of my cousin Ashok and his wife, Priya, from Pune. A  made-for-each-other couple,  whom I admire a lot for the genuine affection they display and their mutual respect. Ashok has become a senior Citizen recently, having turned 60 last year. He and his wife were on a two-day visit to Coimbatore after visiting Bangalore, to meet me and a few other friends in Coimbatore. Ashok agreed to extend his stay by a day to be with me on my birthday. So nice of him. He chose to stay in the guest house here to have first-hand experience of the Place. He was not disappointed.

The day started with us visiting the nearby Varadraja Perumal temple and performing an archanai. Followed by a lunch I hosted at Kailash Parbat restaurant in which my daughter Sowmya and son-in-law Sathya participated, along with my Schoolmates Raju & wife Geetha and Balu, my adopted brother in Nan Nani and his wife Laxmi.  Have written about Balu`s helpful nature in an earlier posting. He is truly amazing- a good Samaritan in our community.

The delicious meal ended with our having  Malai Kulfi in Rabadi, a speciality in KB here. After mandatory selfies and group photos, we returned to our respective homes. There was  Ananya`s Games Event organised by Ananya`s Games Team in the evening, which saw many residents participating with childlike enthusiasm. I stayed at the event only for a short duration. The evening ended with our having a simple dinner at the dining hall – mini idlis in sambar and curd rice.

While extending a special thanks to Ashok and Priya for spending a full day with me on my birthday, I would also like to thank all my Facebook friends for remembering an old friend. The most unexpected call came from Supriyo Das, my old colleague in Grant K & E. On the whole, it was a simple but intimate get-together, which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Boredom and depression among children

 

 Growing up in a chawl in Bombay, I remember there was no time for me to get bored. There was some activity or another happening in the building complex for all age groups. I was kept busy with friends from my age group playing some games in the building complex or at the nearby Matunga Gymkhana. I would come back from school, throw the schoolbag in one corner, partake of whatever tiffin mother gave me and off I went to play with friends. No worry about security. My parents worried about me if I did not return home before the appointed time. In my case, it was 7.00 pm. Living in a chawl was like living in a big joint family. We lacked the basic conveniences we take for granted these days, but life was fun then. We learned to manage many of our problems ourselves without the involvement of parents. The constant social interaction with friends in the community helped us. Parenting was not as challenging as it is today.

 

Times have changed drastically. Nuclear families have replaced joint families. While gated communities provide some security and opportunities for social interaction, stand-alone apartments where many nuclear families live, there is less interaction among neighbours. Bringing up children has become a humongous task for parents. Security concerns prevent parents from allowing their children to move freely. Though mobiles and the internet help them keep their children busy, the gadgets have their negative aspects as well. Today, it is not surprising to see many children in their teens, exposed to social media, showing signs of depression.

 

`Preteens who spend more time on social media may be at greater risk for depression, according to a US study published in JAMA Network open,` as reported in the Health  supplement of  one of the issues of The WEEK magazine

 

To ensure that this does not happen, parents have to see that their children are engaged in some physical or mental activity. Interaction with other children in the community or outside, by inviting them home or arranging for their children to visit their friends' homes to play, helps. Encouraging such children to participate in one sports activity ( badminton, table tennis, cricket or football, etc.) and one creative activity (  music, dance, drawing, etc) or anything else in which the child shows interest would also help them develop their inherent talents. Such children turn out to be confident kids, full of life. I am witnessing this in the case of my son`s two kids. My daughter-in-law gave up her job to concentrate on the two kids, a son and a daughter. She is exposing them regularly to many new ideas and games and encouraging them to be creative. While she spends a lot of time with them, my son tries to keep them engaged during weekends. They also try to keep a check or even control the use of smart phones or other electronic gadgets by the kids.

 

If the parents show enough understanding of their children`s problems, be available to them whenever they want them, and learn to trust them, children will respond positively.  In other words, be a trusted friend to your kids. At least one of the parents should assume that role! If that happens, not only with the children never get bored, but there is very little possibility of such children becoming depressed.