PRABHA RAJAN ( 27-7-51 to 05-01-2013)
CELEBRATING MEMORIES
Prabha was born on 27th July 1951, as the youngest of four siblings. Her father, a senior Manager with the TVS group, passed away when he was 31 years old leaving behind four children of ages ranging from 20 days to 7 years. Prabha, who was only 20 days old never saw her father. Prabha and her three siblings ( Two elder brothers and the eldest sister) were brought up by their single mother with support from the TVS group. All of them received a good education with Prabha`s senior elder brother passing his Chartered Accountancy with distinction. It was a close-knit family with little exposure to the outside world and hardly any socializing. An average student, Prabha studied up to graduation level at SIET college in Chennai. She never enjoyed studies but was a voracious reader of Tamil magazines & books. She was fond of film music of those days, which she could recall much later when she became a popular social singer at parties.
I was married to Prabha in 1972 when I was 30 years old and she was only 21. It was an arranged marriage. As a successful adman and a Round Tabler, I was very active in social circles. In the initial years of our married life, I was indeed shocked to find that she did not fit into my social circles because of her problem communicating in English. I have described in detail her trials and tribulations on this score in my autobiography and how she came out of it through sheer determination and hard work.
Though a reluctant starter, Prabha was a fast learner. Once she got on to something she would put her heart and soul into the job. Whether cooking meals for a small family of 5 or a party of 40 people, maintaining her garden with hundreds of plants with love and care, attending music classes and learning new songs, or handling any assignment given to her by the neighborhood Ladies Club or the Inner Wheel Club, she proved to be a very dependable and dedicated worker. Her passion for doing things perfectly earned her a lot of admirers.
Prabha was a fearless person. No bad news, no calamity, or even a simple accident affected her composure. She was very bold and had been a nemesis for any crawling or slithering creatures that dared to enter our independent home. She was also not a sentimental person judging by her reactions to several situations that I had seen.
Prabha was an intellectual of sorts! Not many people have had the opportunity to see her wax eloquent on Hindu religion, Mythology, Tamil literature & Carnatic music. Her memory and knowledge of these subjects were very good.
All these talents were hidden for the first sixteen years of our marriage when she was bringing up our children while I was very busy building a successful career and very active in social organizations. While I thought everything was going well with Prabha and me, an explosive letter she wrote to me in Tamil, opened up my eyes to the reality and what I did with the letter and how my `out of the box` action became a turning point in her life is already well documented.
Post that event Prabha became an accomplished writer in Tamil and after receiving some training in communication skills in English she became active in the neighborhood Ladies Club and Inner Wheel Club of Madras South, which opened up a whole new world to her. She became the 31st President of the Inner Wheel Club of Madras South.
Prabha`s transformation, from an introvert with low self-esteem to a person who became self-assured and confident was complete. She began to enjoy participating in many social activities. She became so popular in social circles that a stage reached where instead of her being referred to as Rajan`s wife I was being referred to as Prabha`s husband. She became the dream girl that I wanted to marry but she was not in the initial years of our marriage. I began to fall in love with Prabha in her new Avathar. I was truly proud of her progress in life
Prabha was a good wife, a caring mother, a dutiful daughter-in-law, and an affectionate grandmother. Prabha was also multi-talented. Apart from her writing and singing abilities, I found her to be also a good storyteller. Given an opportunity, she could also act or dance. She exhibited a childlike enthusiasm for a lot of things. When our travels took us to historical places, she would like to know details about everything on display. You would find her religiously reading all the explanatory boards on display.
Unlike many women I know, she was not a gossipmonger and could get along with anyone because of the simplicity and transparency in her dealings. Most certainly she was not a cunning person but could be too naive sometimes! Though she was like the proverbial mouse to the outside world she was a tigress at home! I should know! Maybe her children also know of that side of Prabha.
On the negative side, I would say that the obsession she had for maintaining the fairly big house we had, spic and span, sometimes drove everyone, especially me, to go crazy.
Anyone or anything that intruded on her daily routine created tension in her. While it was an excellent quality to be focused on, sometimes it created explosive situations between us. However, we had an unwritten understanding that we would never carry forward our anger arising out of a situation to the next day.
If I have led a very fulfilling life and have a sense of accomplishment, realizing most of my dreams. I must acknowledge the role played by Prabha in my life. If I had a role to play in making her come out of her shell and helped her talents to come to the limelight, I was only doing my duty as she did hers.
Thank you, Prabha for everything. And pardon me if I disappointed you with
some scores!
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