Bouquets and Brickbats

 I was attending a meeting of a Tamil literary circle where writer/author Sivasankari was the chief guest. She was giving away prizes to the winners of a short story contest. In the course of her talk, she said creative people should not expect only praise for their efforts. They must be willing to accept both bouquets and brickbats.

 As a person associated with the creative field of advertising for over 45 years, I believe in this philosophy. In fact, when somebody criticizes my effort, it sure does hurt. But after the initial hard feelings, I try to analyse the criticism and try to learn a lesson or two from it. A friend who is a regular reader of my articles once told me that my articles have too many `I`s. I took up the criticism seriously and tried to analyse my articles to see if the criticism was justified. Most of my articles revolve around my own experiences connected with the topic . I am using personal anecdotes where I cannot avoid using the letter `I` often.

 I have used the same policy when it comes to my good friends. My closest friends have been those who tell me to my face if they don`t agree with me on an issue or criticize something I have done- that applies to my creative efforts . I always believe that people who openly criticize you on your face are your well-wishers. Those who praise you on your face but talk bad about you behind your back are better to be kept at a distance.

 These thoughts came to my mind because of an incident involving a close friend recently. I could call him my bosom pal whom I used to meet every day or at least was in touch with him every other day on the phone. Both freely exchanged our problems and also shared the happy tidings in our families. One of the reasons why I had him as a close friend was because he was always frank in his opinions. We were there for each other in our good times and bad times. Though he moved his base out of Chennai sometime ago, I was in regular touch with him over the phone.

Suddenly I found that he had stopped calling me. Irked, when I asked him the reason for his silence I got a note from him saying that he was upset with my frank opinion on one of his creative effort. He also recalled a couple of instances where I had criticized his work in the past.

 I was shocked beyond words. Because he was always generous with his criticisms of my creative efforts. And I always believed that among close friends you don`t talk to please but share your genuine feelings/opinions. I wrote to him and apologized for my indiscretion. We both decided to forgive and forget. However, I wonder if our relationship will be the same.

 Though he may choose to forget me, I can never forget the great times I had with him and the wonderful hospitality I have enjoyed in their beautiful home. Just as I decided not to mourn my wife`s death but celebrate her memory, I would continue to cherish the wonderful memories of our friendship instead of sulking and feeling miserable!