Battle of the Bulge (Revised)

During my morning walks in Chennai, I would see a friend doing exercises on the parapet wall at the beachfront in Besant Nagar. He was on all fours with his protruding belly dangling prominently to the twists and turns that he was attempting. It was a sight to behold. I stopped and asked him the purpose of the exercise. He said that he was trying his best to reduce his tummy and look trim. I know that he has been trying to do this for several years without luck. I wished him good luck and moved on. It brought back memories of my bulging tummy and my efforts to reduce it for several decades.

Before I acquired a bulging tummy, also known as a `paunch`, I was a thin guy. My waist was so slim that even a baby belt would not hold my pants. I used to wrap a piece of cloth around my waist and then pull up my pants to ensure that it did not slip down.

There is a story behind how I acquired the `paunch`. Throughout my student days and the early part of my career, my mother did her best to help me gain weight. She forced me to eat vegetables & fruits. She would roast a few badam kernels and give it to me every morning with butter. I was also given an extra quantity of milk to consume at night. Nothing worked. What she could not achieve for a decade happened during my stay at Murugan Lodge in Calcutta, where I gorged on the delicious meals they served. I had spent three months in Calcutta undergoing training in advertising at the second-largest advertising agency at that time. During my stay as a trainee, I was also introduced to drinking beer. I was told that as an adman, I would have to do a lot of entertaining and drinking alcohol was a prerequisite for a successful adman. In three months, not only did I learn about the advertising business but also learnt how to gulp down three bottles of beer without any problems. My tryst with the bulging `Madhya Pradesh` started in Calcutta which eventually became an integral part of my body. In the early years, girls in my office used to call me `roly-poly`. My efforts to reduce the tummy over the years were not successful because of my inability to control my eating and drinking habits.

However, I found that my tummy was a great asset when my four grandchildren through my daughters arrived in this world in quick succession between 1996 to 2003. My `Thoppai` as they would call my bulging tummy was their playground. All that I had to do was lay still on my back exposing my Thoppai. They would go berserk playing with it. One of them would play drums on it, another one would give it a massage and the third one would give it an imaginary bath using appropriate sound effects. It was a joy beyond compare. For a change, I was happy to possess a Thoppai.

Eventually, my Thoppai` did shrink, after the two hospitalisation experiences I went through about 10 years ago. Thanks to a complete change in my lifestyle since then, I lost about eight kgs in six months. While I am fighting hard to ensure that I maintain my reduced weight, I am happy that the smaller bulge in my `Madhya Pradesh` has allowed me to reuse half a dozen tight-fitting pants that I had stopped wearing.

A small victory in my `Battle of the Bulge`!

This article appeared in the Adyar Times issue dated December, 14/06/2019

PS: Since the publication of this article I have put on weight. My Madhya Pradesh has gone back to its original size. All the pants I restored have become useless. My `Battle of the Bulge` continues.