My 12th book in 13 years released

At an event to coincide with my official 80^th birthday, my new book titled `Bright Stars in the Chennai sky` was released by the chief guest V.Sriram, the editor of Madras Musings. The book is a collection of my original articles on inspirational stories of Chennai-based personalities and institutions—all ‘Bright Stars in the Chennai Sky’, the edited versions of which had appeared in Madras Musings and other magazines. The book also contains condensed versions of the biographis of  nine inspiring personalities which appeared in Madras Musings. The book is dedicated to the memory of late Mr.S.Muthiah, a heritage champion and founder editor of madras Musings who discovered the writer in me and continued to mentor me in my evolution as a writer, post retirement.

 It was a packed audience ( estimated at 180) at the Tag Centre owned by my good friend R.T.Chari one of the bright stars featured in the book, who received the first copy from Sriram. He was followed by the other bright stars featured in the book who were present in the audience; Ravi Tamilvanan, C.S.Ananth, DR.J.Bhaskaran, Sheila Sriprakash, Kala Balasundaram, S.K.Swamy, Kizhambur Sankara Subramanian, Dr.S.(Babu) Krishnaswamy &  Nirmala Desikan wife of Late R.Desikan the well known Consumer activist whose story also appears in the book.

The meeting started with the invocation song on mother & motherhood, the lyrics for which was written by me and set to music and sung by Vidushi Shrithi Shankar Kumar. A welcome address on behalf of the family by Kavitha Srinivas, my elder daughter  was followed by the introduction of the book by S.R.Madhu, done in his inimitable style & official release of the book by Sriram.  The book release part of the function ended with a delightful & entertaining speech by Sriram recalling his long association with me.

 The birthday celebrations started with the presentation of a seven minute Video, a personal tribute to me by Rajeshwari Anand, a good friend and a long time associate of my agency Anugrah Madison. Next came Jawahar Nichani, the President of Rotary Club of Madras South, offering felicitation to me as a representative of the Round Tables, Rotary and 41 Clubs with which I have been closely associated. Before I gave my response, I presented cheques to my Rotary Club , Inner Wheel Club Madras South and Manimekalai Prasuram on behalf of the Prabha Rajan Talent Foundation, a Trust which  I founded in memory of my late wife Prabha.

In my response I thanked the large number of friends and well wishers present in the audience, seeking the blessings of elders in the audience and  conveying  my best wishes and blessings to all others. I ended my brief talk dedicating the event to my late wife Prabha.

The meeting was followed by fellowship and dinner enjoyed by all. Every one appreciated the fact that meeting started  and ended on time. I heaved a sigh of relief   that my  80^th birthday celebrations which started last year when I entered my eighties, had come to a satisfactory conclusion. Now I can legitimately claim to be an Octogenarian!

Those who interested in seeing the seven minute video by Rajeshwari, please click on the following link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_nk9Ycrk_0

 

This is what S.R.Madhu the veteran freelance writer who introduced the book says about the book:

This book is a gem! It glows not merely because of that beautifully appropriate heading -- Bright Stars in the Chennai Sky. It highlights some of the worthiest achievers of society – many of whom are not front-page names because they are not in politics!  Rajan is a “people person” and the writing shows. These fact-packed, highly readable, anecdote-laden profiles are a pleasure to read and preserve.   

 

The 252 page book printed and published by Creative Workshop and priced at Rs 400/- is available on Amazon and with me (contact- rvrajan42@gmail.com). The entire proceeds from  the sale of the book will go towards the activities of Prabha Rajan Talent foundation)

 

 

Girija Raghavan- the one woman army

Girija Raghavan  has been single handedly, bringing out a Tamil monthly for women called Ladies Special which is celebrating its Silver jubilee this year. She is both the editor and the publisher of the magazine. In the context of the print media seeing the demise of some  popular Tamil weeklies and monthlies, to bring out a magazine without fail for the last 25 years is a remarkable achievement indeed.

Apart from being a successful editor/publisher Girija also wears several other hats which make her a unique personality. She is an entrepreneur who helps other women become entrepreneurs. She is an activist who champions many women centric causes. She is a business consultant to women who need advice for  their new business ventures. Besides she is also a philanthropist and an active Rotarian.  In her mid sixties Girija packs a lot of energy  in her short frame and is full of new ideas to help women in need of any kind of help. To call her a dynamic person will be an under statement.

-----------------------------------

Girija  did her schooling in MCT Muthiah Chettiar School, a Tamil medium school in Chennai and got a B.Sc  degree from the Vaishnava college in  Chrompet. 

 Though she wanted to study further, her conservative family decided that it was time for her to get married and settle down in life. In November 1976 she  got married to Raghavan, a distant relative based in Bangalore.

“Chennai to Bangalore was a big transition for me. A girl from a conservative family, I  became a modern woman thanks to the encouragement I got from my husband. Raghavan was a fine human being. He saw a lot of potential in me to achieve big things in life. He opened up a lot of new windows for me.”

When life was cruising along beautifully with a loving husband, a decent job in a bank  and a baby boy to dote over, disaster stuck the family. Her husband died of a massive heart attack in 1981. Numbed by shock, she was frightened beyond words. However, she was determined to make her husband`s dream about her and her son come true.

At the bank, while she was earning a good name for her efficiency, she also  began to take active interest in the sports, literary  and cultural activities of the bank.

 As the Secretary of the Cultural Club of the bank she staged `Panchali Sabadham` as a musical play for  which she not only wrote the script,  but also directed and donned the main role of Panchali ( Droupathi). The play was a resounding success.  Artist Madan of Ananda Vikatan (AV), who was the chief guest, while appreciating the play remarked , “This is the first time that I saw  Panchali with spectacles”. Every one laughed. Girija had forgotten to remove her glasses while going on the stage. But Madan did not fail to notice the immense talent of Girija. On his return, he invited Girija to write for Junior Vikatan, the sister publication of Ananda Vikatan, during her free time. Her very first assignment was a weekly column devoted to local shopping. Later she was even allowed to write on subjects of her choice. Girija as a writer/ journalist had arrived.

 After two years, she decided to become a freelance journalist working for other publications like Mangayar Malar, Kalki, Mangai and even Bommai, a film magazine which gave her access to all famous studios and film stars of the time. It is the association with Mangayar Malar(a monthly targeted at women),  which planted the dream of starting a magazine of her own for ladies later.

When All India Radio was looking for a youth to anchor their youth centric programme  Girija was invited to anchor the programme. AIR found her presentations to be very good. She started participating in Radio plays, became an announcer and eventually was made to read the News in Tamil- the ultimate recognition from AIR.

“All these I did during the free time I managed to get from the bank for the extra income that it brought me, so that I could give the best of everything for my only son. My dual role as a writer and  radio artist brought me close to several celebrities. By now I had built a reputation for my ability to take on any challenges posed to me.”

The television industry soon decided to use the  talents of Girija. Doordarshan invited her to anchor  programmes aimed at house wives during the afternoons. When demand for her time from the press and  radio  media started to grow Girija resigned from the job to become an entrepreneur in 1991.

Her first venture was called `Gayathri Cassettes` started  in 1991. Under this banner she  pioneered the concept of converting stage plays into audio cassettes. All famous stage plays of the time  of almost all famous troupes were recorded and sold as cassettes by her firm. Within a few years, however, piracy menace made her quit this business after incurring huge losses.

 In 1995 she started another company called `Gayathri Creations` which started  producing in house  programmes for Doordarshan & SUN TV. Over the years she has also  produced programmes for  channels like  Raj TV, Raj Digital plus, Vijay TV, Podhigai and Win TV. Gayathri creations was also involved in the production of advertising commercials. She has also lent her voice to hundreds of commercials produced by other producers.

“One of my most  popular programmes was the one titled `Ladies Special` which I did for Raj TV. In this weekly talk show, which ran for 52 weeks I  dealt with several topics dealing with problems faced by youth, house wives and  working women,. The success of this programme made me very popular among women. I saw an opportunity to start a ladies magazine dealing with similar topics. Thus was born a `Ladies Special`- a women`s magazine in Tamil with English title.”

Simultaneously she was also using the opportunities she got in the TV medium to promote the magazine. Her single biggest appeal to women was that they should learn to be independent and stand on their own legs. This led to the `Women Enterprise Cell` of the State Government inviting her to conduct seminars on various topics aimed at women in all important cities and towns of Tamil Nadu. She even helped NABARD (National Bank for Agriculture and rural development) in designing and implementing a programme of  exhibitions to market the products of the Self help groups funded by them. Since 2000, she has  conducted  more than 500 events in all parts of TamilNadu, Bangalore, Mumbai & even Kuwait. Girija the media personality had also  become an effective event organizer.

All this led to Girija Raghavan becoming  a social entrepreneur focusing  on women with   Women Empowerment as her mission in life.  She is being helped in this by a large army of committed ladies who have benefited from her advice and guidance. She runs an organization called  BRAWE (Business Related Advice for Women Entrepreneurs )  and an NGO called WISE TRUST through which women entrepreneurs are being helped with individual attention. So far she has helped create several thousand women entrepreneurs.

No wonder she is known as the `One Woman Army` in the Tamil literary world for her multiple talents and  multi-tasking abilities.

 (This article has appeared in the latest issue of Vidhura, quarterly magazine published by Press Institute of India).

 

 

,                         

Celebrating my 80th star Birthday

My 80th Star Birthday was on 17^th August, 2022.  In the absence of my life partner I decided  not to have the traditional Sadhabishekam. Instead the family performed a `Tirumanjanam` ( Abhishekam) at one of my favourite Perumal  temples in Kotturpuram  in the morning. The Prasadam - delectable Chaakra Pongal was distributed to the visiting devotees and family members.

We later moved to the Radha Krishna Hall of Mathsya Restaurant in Adyar for a  lunch hosted by my children. The invitation ( see attachment)was  in the name of my grand children, and  was designed by my grand daughter  Nila ( daughter of RU & Kavitha).  The invitees, numbering around 100,  were mostly relatives and a few neighbors and a couple of friends. 

The entertainment  started with the playing of the  pre-recorded song on mother and motherhood that I had written and sung by Vidushi Shruthi Shankar Kumar. It was followed by the rendering of a couple of popular songs of MSS by my grand daughter Uthara Srinivasan ( daughter of my second daughter Sowmya and Srinivasan ) and her cousin Madhura.  Next  was a brilliant presentation on Harmonica by my Sambandhi  Naresh ( my son Balaji`s father in law).  The biggest surprise was a bold and impromptu rendering of a song by 4 years old  Thavam, son of Balaji and Tulse my daughter in law. The entertainment concluded with a seven minute video presentation produced by a long time associate of my agency and a highly talented  Rajeshwari Anand.  She along with her  equally talented husband Anand , have done scores of films for Anugrah Madison , the agency that I founded. It was a personal tribute to me by Rajeshwari trying to focus on my character than my achievements. Needless  to say that I was moved by the presentation.

While all this was going on, my sixth and the  youngest grand child , the 18 months old Bakthi Balaji was entertaining guests on the sidelines with her pranks.

The MC for the event  was the beautiful and multi talented Nila, who conducted the event with aplomb

In the family group photo taken on the occasion (attached) my grandson Keshav , son of Sowmya/Srini is missing as he had to be in his college at Noida on that day.

And of course all of us missed Prabha, my life partner for 40 years, who left us 10 years ago. How I wished she was there  to see her talented grand children stealing the show with their performances. At one point I became emotional which I successfully managed to hide from  the others!

The programme ended with a delicious multi cuisine lunch provided by Mathsya,  enjoyed by all.

The day ended with my visiting Shirdi Sai Baba temple at Tiruvnmiyur with Sowmya`s family where I had arranged for an Arathi/Annadhanam.

On the whole it was a very satisfying  experience at the end of which I was totally exhausted .

The celebration is not over yet. Watch for my posting after 30^th August- my calendar Birthday which we are celebrating with  my friends. It will be  coinciding with  the release of my next book, my 12^th in 13 years,  titled `The Bright stars In Chennai Sky`

Viji Iyengar- a legend in his life time

 I first met  A.V.Iyengar  popularly known as Viji , at my first ever RTI AGM in Delhi in 1969. I was a rookie Tabler having joined Bombay West Round Table No. 6 a few months earlier. Desikan from my Club had been proposed for President ship  of RTI against  the redoubtable Indu Chandhok . There was intense campaigning in which Viji was on our side though Indu was his good friend.  For the first time I witnessed Viji as a passionate speaker with a fighting spirit. I kept bumping into him in more AGMs in the following years. I found that not only was he excellent in debates but was also a fun guy with a great sense of humour. The fights between Viji and Deepak Banker ( a past Woco President) on the floors of the RTI AGMs , arguing on some issue or the other,  were  legendary. However during the Fellowship times  they were the  best of friends.

Viji  was as much a Fellowship man  as he was in his deep involvement with any service projects.  His close association with Mother Theresa  was  well known. He enjoyed people and parties, many of which he would host at his spacious home  in Calcutta. Viji & Shibani, the made for each other couple, were excellent hosts. I had the pleasure of staying with them on a couple of occasions thoroughly  enjoying their home hospitality. More than anything else he was a great friend,  ever ready to help any one  in need of any kind of help.

In any meetings or  get togethers  he was well known for his spontaneous responses, delivered with his customary zeal and force. With his boisterous nature, inimitable laughter  and friendly disposition  Viji  won the hearts of every one he came in contact with.  A very popular Tabler he was undoubtedly a pillar of the Round table movement in India in its initial years.

I got to know Viji closely when I became the National Extension Officer when he was the President of RTI in 1977. Viji  was a flamboyant tabler,  a bit disorganized but always very ambitious in his thinking. At a board meeting when I was questioning him about some seemingly impossible targets his response was `Let us aim for the sky. We will at least reach the top of the tree`. That was Viji for you. He was a great leader and motivator

I remember a Board meeting  we had in the train  travelling to attend  the charter of a new Table in some city in Gujarat  ( I forget the name of the city) . Viji conducted the meeting with aplomb.  We not only had a good meeting but also thoroughly enjoyed the trip with `Fellowsip` flowing right through the journey. Another incident that comes to my mind happened during the RTI  AGM he was presiding in Chennai. Based on my successful stint as the National Extension Officer, my club ( Madras West Round Table no 10) had proposed my name for the position of National Secretary of RTI. Standing against me was Ashok Dasgupta  of Alipore Club in Calcutta to which Viji belonged. Though I was a hot favourite, I had refused to campaign for votes. So  when the votes were counted there was a tie and Viji had to give his casting vote . He had no choice but to vote for  Ashok, his own Club member. Ashok who had already left for the airport thinking that he would not win had to be called back and made the National Secretary.  Viji was all apologies but I took it in good spirit and continued to do my bit as the Chairman of the National Secretariat of RTI located in my office.

Even after I ceased to be a tabler my association with Viji continued  as the Secretary of Round Table Foundation, a brain child of Bob Chandran. As one of the  trustees of the Foundation he would regularly attend the annual  board meetings and offer useful suggestions. Simultaneously he was also active as a 41er.

Viji Iyengar was one of the founder members of 41 Club No. 8 in Calcutta consisting of ex-

Tablers from Alipore Round Table. On a visit to Chennai in 1984, he went to attend a meeting

of Ex-Tablers in Madras Gymkhana.He found the ‘King & King Maker’ Indu Chandhok of 41 Club No. 1 in the process of persuading a reluctant S Raja of Bangalore to become the President of the Association, for the year 1984-85. The moment he saw Viji  walking in, he announced, ‘Here comes the next Vice President of the Association.’ And that was it. No election. No consultation. Since Viji was used to Indu’s style of functioning from his Round Table days, he agreed. Viji became

the President of the Association  only  in 1986 since Raja continued for a second term.

 

When I interviewed him at his home in Calcutta for the book  titled `44years of 41 Clubs In India`which I was editing, he claimed that during his term, he  had initiated the drafting of a more formal Constitution and Bylaws by Prakash Apte of Calcutta though it  would take another couple of years before the new constitution was formally adopted by the Association. It  paved  the way for the Ex-Tablers’ Association to become the National Association of 41 Clubs of India.

 

I  was touched when  he came  personally to receive me at the airport and take me to his home though he could have just sent his driver to pick me up. That was Viji for you.

 

The credit for starting the Fellowship magazine of the Association also goes to him. It was  started in 1987 with Alban Scolt of Calcutta as the first editor.( I was to be the editor of Fellowship for six terms in later years.) Viji was also responsible for taking the initiatives to extend the 41 Clubs to newer cities.

 

I continued to meet Viji in all the 41 Club AGMs. I remember  as a `Sergeant at Arms` at both the Round Table and 41Club AGMs he was in his elements making the audience roar with laughter with his  witty comments.

 

Though he had been suffering from cardiac issues for the last few years, he continued to be active. Attending meetings when required. However, after his wife Shibani was diagnosed with the dreaded Alzheimer disease, he was devastated. I  was told that he was lapsing into depression very often though his son and daughter were doing their best to look after their parents. I was surprised when I received a call from him a few weeks ago asking for some contacts in Vellore to help some friend. Amazing that he was service minded till his last breath.

 

Viji passed away of cardiac arrest  on the night of 28^th July,22 after suffering with septic shock at a hospital in Calcutta where he was admitted two days earlier. A legend not only in the world of Tablers & Ex Tablers but also in the social circles of Calcutta decided to go back to his maker.

 

I feel bad that I will never again hear his voice affectionately  calling me `Dei Iyengare` ( as I am also an Iyengar) or `Dei Raja`.

 

 I pray god to make his soul attain Satgathi. Om Shanthi!

S.Jayaraman- A game changer in my life!

I always tell young parents  to take extra care when  their children  enter their teens. It is at this stage that children are troublesome and vulnerable. They get deeply influenced by their peers.  Their future depends on the kind of friends they get at this stage. I know of many very bright children getting into bad company in their teens and ruining their lives. There are others, not so bright ones,  getting influenced by good friends in their teens  resulting in their turning a new leaf  and becoming successful in life. I belonged to the second category.

I was an average student in school . My home was just two minutes away from my school that I always used to rush back home to play with my chawl friends in Matunga, Bombay. I did not make any new friends in my class. All that changed when my school moved to Wadala from  Matunga when I was in my 8^th standard ( I was thirteen then ). A few friends in my area had to walk for 30 minutes every day to reach the school. In the process I made new friends. One of them was Jayaraman, who was a topper in my  class. He was very intelligent with a  phenomenal memory and was involved in spiritualism right from his school days. Thanks to Jayaraman I  became a part of a motley group of bright and talented  students in my class.

Jayaraman became a game changer in my life. He became my bosom pal and I looked forward to spending a lot of time with him talking about our plans for the future among  many other things we talked about. Our  friendship continued in college as both of us joined the R.A.Podar College of Commerce to acquire a degree in Commerce. I can never forget the several  nights we spent lying on our backs on the cricket pitches in Matunga Gymkhana  opposite the college , staring at the stars and discussing our future plans.  In the absence of  phones in our homes  we would meet every day - even on school holidays. Either he would visit my home or I would visit his home.

It is during my college days that I blossomed into a boy with multi tasking abilities and also with potential leadership qualities. Though I continued to be an average student academically  my active involvement in many non-sports activities in the college brought me to the notice of not only the college Principal but also other professors. It was at this stage that I started dreaming about a career in advertising  and how I pursued my dream relentlessly to become a successful adman at a young  age  is well documented in my autobiography titled  `Courage My Companion`.

While I was doing well in life Jayaraman had major setbacks during his college days. Due to some problems at home his studies were affected  and he did not do well in the final exam.  His first job was with Bank of Baroda while he was also pursuing a course in Cost Accountancy. After finishing his course he worked in a couple of companies in their Finance department in senior positions. His last job was with the Reliance group. He got married  to a girl of his parents`s choice and the couple were blessed with two lovely daughters and a bright boy, all of whom have done well  and settled abroad.

Meanwhile I was so busy with my dream job in advertising that I had no time for my school and college friends including my dear friend Jayaraman. My leaving  Bombay for good in 1971 meant that I met Jayaraman only occasionally  during my  flying visits to Bombay on official work. In the absence of mobile phones those days there was hardly any other communication between us. I  found that his attitude toward me also had changed over a period of time.

After a gap of a couple of decades, thanks to an  Alumni get-together of our schoolmates in Bombay I got reconnected with him. By now both of us had retired and had time on our hands. He had become a great devotee of  Chandrasekara Swami of Kanchi Sankara Mutt popularly known as `Periava`. At the first alumni  meeting of our group  Jayaraman read out a special poem in Tamil  he had composed for the occasion. I found a creative spark in it. Encouraged by me and other friends & family he  started composing  songs  on a wide variety of topics always ending the poem by invoking `Periava`s` name. He took to this hobby with all the passion that he could muster so much so that he had composed nearly 1000 poems in ten years.  During my occasional trips to Mumbai I  began visiting him in his flat in Navi Mumbai  where he was living with his wife.  However, because of his wife`s health issues he stopped  joining any group get togethers giving his wife`s problems as an excuse for not attending . He began to isolate himself  from  others.  So when his wife passed away  two years ago he found it difficult to reconcile to a life without the life partner. His children being away in foreign lands did not help either, however much they tried to make him feel wanted. The pandemic and the forced isolation at home without any connect with friends  made him go into depression.  He fell seriously ill a few weeks ago and passed away at a hospital yesterday evening in spite of the best medical attention. Fortunately all his three children had reached Mumbai in time to be with their ailing father in his last moments. 

Thanks to restrictions imposed by the Pandemic  I am sad that I could not visit him to offer my condolences personally when his wife passed away   nor could I see him when he was ailing. But he was constantly  on my mind. He is leaving behind three affectionate and caring children who will, I am sure, carry their father`s legacy. My heartfelt condolences to them.

Jayarama! I can never forget that getting you as my close friend in my teens was a turning point in my  life. Yes, I have no hesitation in saying that you were a game changer in my life.

I pray to god to make the noble soul of Jayaraman attain Sadgathi!

 

Courage My Companion

An example of how a biography should be conceived and placed in the public domain

It has been 13 years since the publication of my autobiography titled `Courage my Companion` So when Kannan Chakravarthy ( brother of the celebrity actor Hema Malini), whom I got to know through Madras Book Club asked me for a copy of my book , I obliged by sending him the PDF version of the book as I have run out of copies. I was delighted to receive the following feedback from him within a week of sending the book to him ( If his feedback makes you want to read my autobiography I will be happy to share the PDF version free with you if you can send your request to my email id: rvrajan42@gmail.com)

A feedback from Kannan Chakravarthy

I would describe Rajan as a rare individual who has bridged the gap between his small beginnings and relative affluence of later years with astounding ease. Where he acquired this resilience is difficult to fathom from his narrative, 'Courage-My Companion" which moves from event to event and episode to episode in rapid succession.

Gleaning lessons from his life, therefore, becomes that much more difficult.

His familiarity with the icons of business and industry at that time, his observations of life in high society raises important questions as to how he remained unaffected by the glamorous backdrop of his profession. He puts it down vaguely to his simple roots and belief in destiny. If that be so, he is a true 'Karma Yogi' devoid of attachment to material objects — but still he will have explanations to offer for the extraordinary life he has led!

His riveting observations about the Advertising Industry and how it functions can just be a Bible to others in the Industry. The names, positions and responsibilities of each individual he had come across in his colourful career and their functioning points to his keen sense of 'being in the moment' and absorbing events as they occurred. It's a rare quality.

Rajan is devastatingly candid about his personal life. Shows that he has the innocence of a boy and the wisdom of an evolved individual.As a man born to be in the limelight in all circumstances and conditions, he has proved his immense worth in Social Organizations such as the Round Table and Rotary. He has adduced reasons for his unflinching faith in the Almighty quoting various instances in his life. God has been with him in trying circumstances. Of this there is no doubt.

The photograph gallery is eye catching and captures every moment of his meteoric rise. RK Laxman's signature cartoon on the cover portraying Mr Rajan's confident gait is amazingly true to his character.

My heartiest congratulations to the creator of this Magnum Opus. It should adorn every bookshelf in the country as `an example of how a biography should be conceived and placed in the public domain`.

Chakravarti

Chennai

July 15 2022

The Table Manners

The other day I was watching the movie `The Great Indian Kitchen` in Malayalam on OTT. The movie beautifully captures the travails of a typical Indian Housewife in a  joint family totally deprived of her independence and treated like a slave. This article is not a review of the movie but to share with you my experiences with Table manners ( at the dining table) that the movie deals with. The heroine is seen annoyed with the mess that her husband and father in law make around  their dinner plates while eating their meals every day.

I am also known for the mess I make around my plate when eating my meals at home. I also break  other table manners expected of an educated person. Like the habit of lifting the entire stainless steel plate with rims, filled with some rice and  rasam and consuming the same with relish. Always  accompanied by the sipping sound while I consume the  liquid in instalments. My son who sometimes accompanies me during lunch time looks at me with disdain when I indulge in this despicable to him but pleasurable  activity for me.  I think I picked up this habit from my father. He used to perform the act not only while consuming rasam rice but also while having the buttermilk rice ( More sadam)

Because of this habit I indulge in at home I prefer  to eat my meals alone, like my father used to. Like my father I also believe in having my meals at the appointed time and not wait for others to join. I also like to have my meals seated at the table and helping myself with dishes kept on the table. Unlike what many youngsters do these days. They help themselves with the items required on a   plate and eat their meals while watching their favourite TV programmes or reading a book.

My mother always used to stress the importance of respecting the `Dhanya Laxmi` also known as `Anna laxmi`,  the goddess who gives us our food - while eating our meals. She would insist that the children concentrate on the food they eat and respect the Anna Laxmi.  Otherwise, according to her, they might invite the wrath of the goddess. Modern day kids exposed to the world of internet with information on their finger tips are bound to reject such superstitions.

Like the husband in the movie I also follow table manners when I am eating in restaurants or at public functions. I learnt about  table manners the hard way.  It happened in the first  year of my job at Clarion McCann in 1966.  At an office dinner hosted by my boss lady for the staff at her luxurious flat in the upscale Malabar Hills in Bombay.

Though I was careful with my drink, when the dinner was announced I could not resist the spread of food on the dining table. While I was busy tucking away the food on my plate, enjoying every morsel, I found somebody pushing me to a corner. It was my boss lady  who quietly admonished me  for embarrassing her in front of her guests. I did not know what wrong I had done.  Later, I learnt that my fault was that I ate with my hands and was busy licking the food sticking out of  my fingers as I would do at home. I had not used the forks or spoons available on the table.  I felt humiliated. I quickly sneaked out of the house and all the way to my home in Matunga I was sure that I would be sacked the next morning and my dream career in advertising would come to an abrupt end. Fortunately nothing of the sort happened except that I was never invited to any official dinner for the next one year! By which time thanks to a  very close friend  in the office  I had  not only learnt table manners but also other basic etiquettes of life.

 

I have come a long way since that unforgettable incident,  attending hundreds of formal and informal dinners not only in India but also abroad participating in  seminars and conferences over the years. But even today I am not comfortable attending the  three  or four course formal dinners in five star facilities where the liveried bearers change the plates every time you finish one course.

 

I realize that I have never been able to totally get rid of the mindset of a boy from a  middle class family from the chawls of Bombay.