A dignified life without responsibilities

My mother-in-law, a highly independent woman who died at the ripe age of 89, spent the last six years of her life in a senior citizen’s home in Chennai. Her NRI son took  a decision to keep her in the Home in spite of my offer to look after her in my home. Just to make her feel that we still  care for her I would bring her home every month for a week`s stay. One day she told my driver “I don’t know why my son-in-law brings me here  every month. I am very happy in the Home with a lot of new friends to talk to. Here I spend the whole day only watching TV or listen to music. Everybody is so busy”

 

I also met a few others  from that Home, many of whom were NRI parents who had sold their properties or rented out their homes to settle in this well-run senior citizen’s Home Here they not only made new friends but also indulged in hobbies for which they had no time earlier. Even the few who felt bad initially began to enjoy the new environment over a period of time. All of them agreed it was a comfortable life without the day-to-day responsibilities and problems they had faced when living alone. Some of them had children living in the same city, and yet  they preferred to move into a senior citizen’s home as they did not want to burden their children with the responsibility of looking after them on a daily basis. With the joint family system breaking down and nuclear families being the norm these days, old people often find themselves being a nuisance value to their children. There are also cases of old people who don’t have the energy or mind set to look after their grandchildren who have office-going parents. Obviously, the old values are changing, with people, both young and old, becoming more self-centred.

 

Having visited a few such Homes and seen the good times that many of the residents are having, I would say it is an option worth considering by people who have reached the end of their useful lives; especially those  who are financially independent and wish to spend their twilight years in peace and contentment. I am sure residents of the Dignity Lifestyle Retirement Township in Neral managed by the Dignity Foundation will vouch for this. There are any number of such  Senior Care Homes which have come up across the country. Coimbatore in Tamil Nadu, which pioneered the idea, has scores of such Homes catering to middle and upper middle income families  at affordable prices.

 

It is no more a stigma, either on the parents or the children, if elders prefer to stay in elder care homes where they  are  assured of a dignified life without responsibilities!

( Appeared  in the latest issue of Dignity Expressions published by Dignity Foundation)