S.Jayaraman- A game changer in my life!

I always tell young parents  to take extra care when  their children  enter their teens. It is at this stage that children are troublesome and vulnerable. They get deeply influenced by their peers.  Their future depends on the kind of friends they get at this stage. I know of many very bright children getting into bad company in their teens and ruining their lives. There are others, not so bright ones,  getting influenced by good friends in their teens  resulting in their turning a new leaf  and becoming successful in life. I belonged to the second category.

I was an average student in school . My home was just two minutes away from my school that I always used to rush back home to play with my chawl friends in Matunga, Bombay. I did not make any new friends in my class. All that changed when my school moved to Wadala from  Matunga when I was in my 8^th standard ( I was thirteen then ). A few friends in my area had to walk for 30 minutes every day to reach the school. In the process I made new friends. One of them was Jayaraman, who was a topper in my  class. He was very intelligent with a  phenomenal memory and was involved in spiritualism right from his school days. Thanks to Jayaraman I  became a part of a motley group of bright and talented  students in my class.

Jayaraman became a game changer in my life. He became my bosom pal and I looked forward to spending a lot of time with him talking about our plans for the future among  many other things we talked about. Our  friendship continued in college as both of us joined the R.A.Podar College of Commerce to acquire a degree in Commerce. I can never forget the several  nights we spent lying on our backs on the cricket pitches in Matunga Gymkhana  opposite the college , staring at the stars and discussing our future plans.  In the absence of  phones in our homes  we would meet every day - even on school holidays. Either he would visit my home or I would visit his home.

It is during my college days that I blossomed into a boy with multi tasking abilities and also with potential leadership qualities. Though I continued to be an average student academically  my active involvement in many non-sports activities in the college brought me to the notice of not only the college Principal but also other professors. It was at this stage that I started dreaming about a career in advertising  and how I pursued my dream relentlessly to become a successful adman at a young  age  is well documented in my autobiography titled  `Courage My Companion`.

While I was doing well in life Jayaraman had major setbacks during his college days. Due to some problems at home his studies were affected  and he did not do well in the final exam.  His first job was with Bank of Baroda while he was also pursuing a course in Cost Accountancy. After finishing his course he worked in a couple of companies in their Finance department in senior positions. His last job was with the Reliance group. He got married  to a girl of his parents`s choice and the couple were blessed with two lovely daughters and a bright boy, all of whom have done well  and settled abroad.

Meanwhile I was so busy with my dream job in advertising that I had no time for my school and college friends including my dear friend Jayaraman. My leaving  Bombay for good in 1971 meant that I met Jayaraman only occasionally  during my  flying visits to Bombay on official work. In the absence of mobile phones those days there was hardly any other communication between us. I  found that his attitude toward me also had changed over a period of time.

After a gap of a couple of decades, thanks to an  Alumni get-together of our schoolmates in Bombay I got reconnected with him. By now both of us had retired and had time on our hands. He had become a great devotee of  Chandrasekara Swami of Kanchi Sankara Mutt popularly known as `Periava`. At the first alumni  meeting of our group  Jayaraman read out a special poem in Tamil  he had composed for the occasion. I found a creative spark in it. Encouraged by me and other friends & family he  started composing  songs  on a wide variety of topics always ending the poem by invoking `Periava`s` name. He took to this hobby with all the passion that he could muster so much so that he had composed nearly 1000 poems in ten years.  During my occasional trips to Mumbai I  began visiting him in his flat in Navi Mumbai  where he was living with his wife.  However, because of his wife`s health issues he stopped  joining any group get togethers giving his wife`s problems as an excuse for not attending . He began to isolate himself  from  others.  So when his wife passed away  two years ago he found it difficult to reconcile to a life without the life partner. His children being away in foreign lands did not help either, however much they tried to make him feel wanted. The pandemic and the forced isolation at home without any connect with friends  made him go into depression.  He fell seriously ill a few weeks ago and passed away at a hospital yesterday evening in spite of the best medical attention. Fortunately all his three children had reached Mumbai in time to be with their ailing father in his last moments. 

Thanks to restrictions imposed by the Pandemic  I am sad that I could not visit him to offer my condolences personally when his wife passed away   nor could I see him when he was ailing. But he was constantly  on my mind. He is leaving behind three affectionate and caring children who will, I am sure, carry their father`s legacy. My heartfelt condolences to them.

Jayarama! I can never forget that getting you as my close friend in my teens was a turning point in my  life. Yes, I have no hesitation in saying that you were a game changer in my life.

I pray to god to make the noble soul of Jayaraman attain Sadgathi!