Saturday, July 3, 2010

Be henpecked to be happy!

Even after 37 years of married life, I have not learnt my lessons! In spite of the fact that I consider myself a ‘women’s libber` trying to do a lot of things to help my wife (so I think). Things, which very few of my generation (I have completed 67 and running 68!) would even consider doing. Most of them are happy to put their feet up after they return from an outing and order around their wives – ‘Give me this! Get me that!’

On the contrary, I am one of those who believes in helping myself for all my personal requirements at home. Right from my school days, when I returned home and if I found my mother resting, I will not disturb her and quietly help myself in the kitchen,

I have carried the habit into my married life! Every time we have a party at home, I will not only help my wife in planning the menu but also buy the vegetables required and cut them suitably to help her save on time. While she is busy cooking I would take the dinner set out, clean them and lay the table for the party. At dinner time, I will be busy running between the kitchen and the dining table, ensuring the continuous supply of items. I always believed in giving a personal touch to whatever I did. After the dinner, I would try and clear up all the glasses and plates left all over the house by the guests.

Similarly, on a daily basis I help my wife in planning the menu, buy the vegetables and cut them, in the process save her a good 60 minutes of valuable time in the morning,
so I think. But a statement she made about 18 years ago complaining that while the men have Sundays and other Public Holidays to relax, a woman is bonded to the kitchen for 365 days of the year looking after the husband and children, made me think again! I decided to help. I became a Sunday Cook and told my wife proudly that from now on she can take rest on Sundays.

But will she rest? No!, A workaholic that she is, on Sundays she would find some other household chores to do and continue to complain about her plight. The understanding husband that I am supposed to be, I decided to help her in the kitchen, even on other week days!

That is when all hell broke loose! Instead of appreciating my initiative she blasted me for entering the kitchen without her permission. If I bought some groceries, which I found missing in the kitchen stores, she will scream at me for my unnecessary intrusion into her ‘domain’. If I gave her some ideas about how I would like certain items made ( I am an avid ‘foodie’ as you can judge from the girth around my waist), she will shout, “Don’t teach me how to cook! I know how to make it. Do I interfere in your office matters? Will you tolerate if I tell you how to run your business?” The admonishing will go on till the afternoon, if I stayed on in the house!

Sundays are the days when I get the maximum firing! Not only for the mess I make in the kitchen, (So she says, but I believe that though I am a messy cook, I clean up the kitchen to the best of my abilities before I hand it back to her) but also for the ‘unnecessary’ things I buy from the nearby supermarket! The problem is that apart from being a Foodie, I am also an avid shopper which justifies the firing I get from my wife- “You just go on buying things… I have to find a place to store them, maintain them. Do you ever care for the troubles I take to maintain this house?.. blah...blah”

Have I learnt my lessons? No, of course not! I continue to irritate my wife every day for some reason or the other! You see, I realize that I am doing whatever I am doing at home because I am enjoying doing them. Not necessarily because I want to help my wife – which in any case she is never going to accept or appreciate.

My advice to all the wives of my friends, who feel very jealous of my wife because she has such an understanding and helpful husband, please think! Would you really be happy to have a husband who meddles around with your kingdom every day? Remember, the grass always look greener on the other side!

To all those lazy husbands, who consider me a lousy example to follow, please don’t because from my long experience, I have realized that no wife would like her ‘kingdom’ to be invaded by her husband. So relax, the next time you feel lazy to go to the dining table to have your meal, ask your wife to come and feed you with a spoon! For all you know she will enjoy doing it and be proud of the fact that her husband does not even lift a spoon without her help! Better be a ‘henpecked’ husband to be happy!

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