The Culture of Hugging

What comes to your mind when you see the word `hugging`? For many spiritually minded people, it will be Mata Amritanandamayi Devi aka Amma also known as `Hugging Saint`. She is known to hug every one of her devotees to convey her blessings.  The other name that comes to my mind is our own people`s Prime Minister NAMO employing `hugging diplomacy` to instantly connect with god knows how many political leaders from across the world that he has met in the last nine years. Thank god he doesn`t indulge in the `cheek to cheek` diplomacy followed by political leaders in many parts of the Western and Middle East countries. That is not in our culture. Though I have never seen him hug any female leaders, he makes it up by vigorous shaking of hands. Suffice to make them feel important.

Hugging has been a big issue in my family. My mother was clear that even a father cannot hug his own daughters when they come of age. The same thing applied to siblings and even grandchildren.  You also cannot hug your own wife in public. With the result that there is no hugging culture in the family. I cannot recall any instance where my father or mother hugged me to show their affection after I became an adult. I have followed their advice blindly much to the disappointment of my children. This sensitivity to hugging has led to a lot of embarrassing moments in my life.

A long time ago I was waiting for my colleagues from Bombay- a pretty lady and a gentleman- in front of a star hotel in Chennai. They were on an official visit. While the gentleman shook my hand vigorously, the lady hugged me; she also did cheek-to-cheek greetings! I was so self-conscious that I cringed- looking around to see if anyone was watching my encounter with the lady. It was an embarrassing moment for me. Over the years I have had similar experiences with me feeling more embarrassed than  thankful for the genuine affection expressed by the ladies.  These days I have learned to extend my friendly hand to such ladies even before they hug me or give me a C to C  greeting. 

Times have changed. Neither my wife nor I imposed any restrictions on our children. They are welcome to express their affection to anyone they want using the age-old custom followed by many communities. Hugging is also a good way to express one`s love for aging people who are forever longing for the expression of love from their near and dear ones. Though I have not changed my attitude towards hugging, I do miss the occasional hugging in private by my late wife. These days I make up the void by demanding a mandatory `hug & kiss` from the two little angels in my home; my resident grandchildren;  5 years old Thavam & two years old Bakthi. It is a wonderful privilege that I am enjoying as an Octogenarian! God Bless them.